Levi’s words break my thoughts. “Seven? What do you want to do?”
The question is so innocent, but it’s so fucking loaded. I don’t even know how to answer it, because I never thought I’d find myself in a situation like this. Hell, all the sex I’ve had over the years. Not only have I been on top of my trusty birth control pill, but I never, ever, didn’t use a condom. Until Levi. Does this fucking guy have super sperm or is my luck just that fucking bad?
I pause, my mind racing, but I don’t answer his question. How do you tell a man you are trying to repair your broken relationship with that the only option in your mind is to run, not walk, to an abortion clinic, and kill your baby? Yup, nothing unexpected. I am just fucked up like that.
“Levi, I…” A single tear rolls down my cheek, which he quickly brushes away with his finger.
“I want an abortion.” The words sting. They feel like poison coming out of my mouth, but that isn’t even the worst part of it. The look on Levi’s face is enough to send me to my grave. My heart is broken, again. I have hurt him, again. I can’t help but hurt him over and over. He would be so much better off without me.
He pulls me tight against his body, rubbing his hand along my back.
“Seven.” I can hear the words he wants to say choked back in his throat. He is going to cry, and if he does, I will completely lose the last bit of calm I have. “Are you… sure?”
I want to say no, I want to say that I am not sure. I wish I could just accept it, and be happy like any other woman would be. But we all know I am just fucked up beyond your average woman.
“No, I am not sure, Levi. What do you want?”
That came out of left field. I shouldn’t care what he wants, but I do. I shouldn’t want that happily ever after with him. But I do. I shouldn’t want kids and marriage and all that foo foo bullshit. But I do. I fucking want it all. I want everything I never had a single desire for. But it isn’t until Levi opens his mouth and answers me that I make my decision.
“Seven, I can’t make you do anything. If you want to have an abortion, that is your choice. And I will support you. I will support you in anything you do, because I love you.” He loves me? “But I can’t say I want you to have an abortion, because I don’t. I want you. I want a baby with you. I want you in my life forever.”
He pauses, and squeezes me tighter against his body, before he nervously runs his ringers through his now messy hair. “The very thought of you pregnant, with my baby, does something to me. God, Seven. It turns me on. Thinking about you with that sexy round belly, full with my baby.”
I feel his hard cock pressing against my ass as he cradles me in his arms. His words shouldn’t change my mind, but they do. A few minutes ago, an abortion was the only option in my mind, and now, the possibility of a happily ever after is right in front of my face. I want to jump and take it. I want to grab the American Dream by the horns and make it my bitch.
The reality of it all, though, is that I need a couple days to think about it. I can’t make such a life changing choice in only a few minutes. I need to talk to Star. I need to let it settle. The businesswoman in me rears her ugly head, and I know a decision so big can’t be made with hasty choices, because Levi and I still don’t know each other. It’s new. It may not work out. And if it doesn’t, I don’t want our lives to play out like an episode of Jerry Springer.
“Levi? What if it doesn’t work out? With us?” Since when have I become so open with communication? Maybe this is just a new and improved Seven. The Seven that has been begging to come out since she was an unwanted little girl.
“I can’t tell the future, Seven. I’m not going to pretend like everything is going to be sunshine and kittens, because life sucks sometimes. I figured that out these past weeks when I was forced to live without you. But one thing I can tell you is that I don’t want a life without you. I don’t want to even think about it. Sure, this is unplanned. Sure, most couples get a long time together before a child comes into the world. But this is the card we have been handed. This is our love story. Who are we to question fate?”
Fate.
Is this our fate?
With the shock and nausea behind me, I’m starting to feel somewhat better by bedtime. Levi ran out to the corner store and stocked up on Saltine crackers and ginger ale. They’re the only two things that I can keep down. Well, for short periods of time anyway.
I call my doctor and make an appointment for first thing in the morning, meaning I will take my first day off from work in almost two years. If I’m going to survive being pregnant and continue to dominate the world, I need some kind of fancy medication to keep me from emptying the contents of my stomach several times a day.
Most of all, I need this pregnancy to remain hidden as long as possible, at least at work. I’m just not ready for the rumor mill to start churning, and honestly, after my flower throwing scene, everyone will immediately know this has something to do with Levi. Sitting on a board with your baby mama isn’t the ideal situation.
I curl up next to his warm body wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. I am trying desperately to get comfortable as his arm wraps around my waist. His fingers snake up my shirt and rest gently against the warm skin of my flat stomach. The intimate touch slowly drives out any reservations I have about my choice.
Sometimes in life, you have to throw caution to the wind. You have to take a chance on something that may not be a sure thing. This is what we call living. It isn’t fair to tread through life calculating the repercussions of every move. Simply existing isn’t for me anymore. I am going to take a risk. Take a chance. I am going to give myself to Levi, and if my world comes crashing down, it won’t be the fucking first time, and I know it very well won’t be the last. Not by a long shot.
I cannot, and will not, run from life anymore.
His fingers run across my tattooed stomach, not leaving an inch untouched by his loving caress. I roll over and face him. We just stare into each other’s eyes. We have an entire conversation without speaking a single word. I can see the genuine love in his eyes, and just like the damn Grinch, my heart grows three sizes in that moment. I lean in and brush my lips against his.
Pulling away, I speak.
“Levi, make love to me.”
His hand runs up my body, moving along my face, and his fingers thrust through my hair. “There is nothing I would rather do right now.”
And for the first time in a long time, if ever, we make love.
Levi rises to his knees, hovering over my body, and gently pulls the oversized t-shirt over my head. I hook my fingers in the waistband of his boxer-briefs and slide them down his legs as our mouths meet in sweet seductive kisses. His tongue runs along my bottom lip, and when my lips part to let out a quiet moan of anticipation, he pushes into my mouth. We make out like virgins waiting for their wedding night, while lying naked in each other’s arms. His hand cups my chin, and his kisses start to drag down my body.
He stops to show my pebbled nipples extra attention. The sensations send shockwaves through my body, and the only thing I want is his dick deep inside me. His mouth sucks on one nipple, and then the other, as I beg for more.
“Levi, please! I need you inside me.”
But he continues his lazy way down my aching body, not leaving an inch untouched.
When he reaches my stomach, he spends extra time kissing, caressing, and he stops to lay his head down for a moment. He stills before he whispers, “I love you,” and continues his downward journey to my center.
His fingers find my wet pussy and slowly make their entry as he lowers his mouth and gently sucks on my clit. My body explodes at his touch.
“Levi! Fuck!” I can’t help but scream out in pleasure as he continues lapping up all the juices my body generously gives to him. His mouth leaves my center, and his lips crash against my mouth. The taste of my sweet orgasm is all over his face.
“You are beautiful when you come.” Yup. This man is going to kill me tonight.
I feel his hardness press against my waiting cunt; I am so wet and ready to take him. I lift my hips, begging him to push into me. A smile spreads across his face - his beautiful, sculpted, manly face. A face that I am coming to realize I absolutely fucking love. His dick slowly pushes inside my pussy. I can feel the walls stretching to accommodate his glorious size. Inch-by-inch, he slowly enters until I feel his balls meet my ass. When he is all the way in, I wrap my legs around his waist, and I pull him closer, wrapping my arms around his neck and locking his mouth in a passionate kiss. With each tender tease and bite, I show him just how much he means to me.
He slowly starts to pull out, only to push back in with lazy thrusts. In and out, slow but so damn good. I can feel every inch of his cock claiming me. My second orgasm starts to build as the tip of his dick starts brushing my g-spot. His eyes never move from mine, silently showering me with unspoken worship. A tear slips down my cheek, and he leans in to kiss it away. His thumb grazes my swollen clit and my release crashes over me. I moan quietly, as he lets out his final grunts, spilling deep inside me.
No sooner than he is done, my stomach flip-flops and I run for the bathroom. I can only hope this whole morning sickness thing is fucking gone soon, because nine months of this shit is not going to fly.
CHAPTER 13
My Day Off
Two years, two damn years since I have had to call out of work. I got lucky, scoring a late morning appointment with my OB/GYN. If she wanted me there for nine in the morning, I may have been tattooing the waiting room with whatever I had left in my stomach. All night, and first thing this morning, Levi held my hair back, rubbed my back, and became my own personal waitress, pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the master bedroom with anything I thought I wanted.
Bottles of water, ginger ale, crackers, wet washclothes. I think I even started to beg for shots of whiskey at once point before he talked me down. Once eleven rolled around, and he had been off at the office for roughly two hours, I had Clyde drive me across town for my appointment. There was already enough speculation flying around the office; we didn’t want to add more.
It’s been about six months since I’ve been here, checking in for my annual exam, one of the fucking best parts of being a woman. I didn’t think I’d be here until next June sometime.
“Seven James, eleven-twenty appointment.” The girl behind the desk scans her computer screen, grabs a clipboard, and hands me the pile of paperwork. “We are going to need a urine sample as well,” she says and places a small sterile cup on top of the clipboard. Wonder how much of the pee I will actually get inside the cup instead of on my hand? Story of my life.
My stomach spins and I take a deep breath, trying to breathe through the wave of nausea. Man, this blows. I take a seat in the black plastic waiting room chair, and dive into the stack of papers. Question after question about my periods, family health history, birth defects, and more shit I have no idea of. Nor will I be calling my parents to ask. I could imagine how that would go over. Hi, Mom? Yeah, I am knocked up by some guy I just met and I need to know if anyone in our family has had any sort of a birth defect? Um. No.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I start digging through the death trap I call a purse and locate it among my eyeliner and the brush I carry around. Star’s bright face lights up the screen, and I quietly answer it, despite the huge no cell phone sign sitting across the waiting room.
“Hey, I can’t talk. Can I call you back in an hour?”
She quickly agrees, although I can tell she is bursting at the seams with some kind of news. I can only hope it is actually good news for once. After all the dead ends in her search for Willow, I wish I could help more.
“Seven James?” A woman in pink scrubs appears in the doorway, smiling, with a manila folder in her hands. But it’s is the blonde holding onto a small crying baby that catches my attention.
“Seven?” Samantha turns in my direction. Samantha Alexander, Daniel’s poor wife. “Oh my goodness! How are you?” Her tone is fake, as the little bundle of blue on her shoulder cries. She bounces her step, and pats him on his back. “Shhhhh, Danny, it’s okay, baby,” she coos to him.
“It was nice seeing you, Samantha,” I say and run in the direction of the bathroom as my sad attempt at a cracker-based breakfast makes its way back up my throat. Might as well pee in the cup while I’m at it.
“Sample,” I say holding the cup out to the poor nurse. “Sorry about that. I can’t stop throwing up for the life of me.”
As the words leave my mouth, I see another woman in scrubs escorting Samantha through the door to the exam rooms. Her curious gaze falls on me, and surely she has heard exactly what I just said. It won’t be long until the entire world knows I was throwing up in the OB/GYN’s office, because that is just the kind of person she is. Hell, I would be absolutely shocked if she hasn’t texted Daniel my exact location already. Fuck!
“Right this way.” The room is cold, and sterile. But this time of year, everything is fucking freezing in New York City. “I am going to need you to strip from the waist down and wait for the doctor.” She turns and walks out of the room, allowing me privacy to strip. Jeez, they could have at least bought me dinner first.
I sit on the table, thumbing over Candy Crush and trying to pass the time until the doctor finally makes her appearance in the ice box of an exam room. My phone indicates a text message, and I open it up. Of course, it is from Levi.
How are you feeling? Board meeting went bad this morning. Will be home early this afternoon. If you need anything on my way, text.
Of course it went bad; those asshats can’t do anything right without me breathing down their necks. I am sure that the fact that I took a single day off sent half the office into a tailspin.
I’m okay. Waiting to see the doctor. Text you after my appointment.
The door slowly opens. “Miss James?” the doctor says, questioning if I am decent.
“Come on in.”
The next half hour goes by in a blur of medical questions, and ends with me begging for some kind of medication to calm my stomach, allowing me to get through a full day of work without announcing to the entire corporate sector that I am with child. I score a prescription for some high priced fancy nausea medication called Zofran, which is supposed to be heaven sent for those women barely surviving their first trimester, like myself.
But it isn’t until the doctor pulls a little machine over and asks me to lay back and spread ’em that I start to worry. Especially when the machine comes attached with a wand that looks like the vibrator I keep in my toy closet.
“And that is for?” I question, and he lets out an uncomfortable laugh.
“I am going to do an ultrasound. Oh, and I have to order a round of blood work. But you don’t have to have that done today. Just make sure you have that prescription filled; the sooner you start taking it, the sooner you will be able to function better.
"This may be a little uncomfortable for a minute.”
He slides the wand inside my very unfriendly vagina, and starts clicking away on the screen. “Looks like you are about five weeks. That little flicker there is the heartbeat. It is too soon to hear it, but it looks pretty strong for five weeks. These dates are only estimates though.”
A little printer spits out a small black and white photo that looks something like a blob. There are no arms or legs. No viable head or extremities. It doesn’t look like much of anything, but knowing it is alive, inside of me, makes me almost sick that my initial thought was abortion. Not even twenty four hours after finding out, I am in full on protective mama bear mode.
“Come back in about two weeks, and we will try to get a listen to the heartbeat.” He smiles, and hands me the prescription, and the photo. “Don’t forget to get the blood work done.” Like that, he is gone.
I hold onto the prescription, and run my thumb over the printed photo. A smile pulls at my lips, just in time for me to dry heave into the garbage can next to the exam tab
le.
The phone rings and rings until a breathless Star finally picks up. “Star? Is everything all right?”
She pauses on the other end of the line, before speaking. “Yes! Seven! I found her! I think, I think I found her!” She doesn’t give very many details, but she goes on about a farmer on the edge of town in Woodstock, something about a brother’s cousin or nephew who had a little girl around Willow’s age. A long story about her parents being killed in a car accident when she was young. Living with family. She gushes about it before stopping to ask me how things in the city are going.
“Well, Star. Are you sitting down?” I have to laugh, because I never thought I would be the one dishing this kind of news to her. In fact, I couldn’t say I was completely surprised when she told me she had a child, because I always pegged her as getting knocked up first. Technically, I guess she did accomplish that before I did.
“Are you okay, Seven?”
“Depends on what you consider okay? I will live, but this baby growing inside me isn’t letting me keep a single fucking thing down. I have been puking my guts out for days.”
I hear an audible gasp on the other end of the line. She is silent for a minute before she starts giggling like a little girl. “Please say it is Levi’s!”
“Of course it is Levi’s! But I am not telling anyone, especially my fucking family. So keep your loud mouth shut!” The town car pulls up to my building. “I gotta run, Star, but when you come home, we will catch up. I hope you find her. Soon.”
Like that, Star is gone and I am on my way up to the penthouse, in serious need of some ginger ale and a fucking nap. But only after I text Levi and let him know everything is okay, and I need for him to pick up my prescription on his way to the penthouse later.
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