CHAPTER TEN
RUBY LICKED HER LIPS, her breath caught somewhere between racing and suspended in a strange elevation of time, sensation and hope. Would he or wouldn’t he?
Did he dare lean forward those last few inches that separated them and place his lips against hers? Kiss her until her thoughts vanished and her nerve ends tingled?
Did she dare kiss him?
Her mouth dried at the thought of kissing Kern. Would he taste the way he did in her dreams? The erotic ones that plagued her in the dark night and left her hot and achy? The dreams she loved to disappear into, knowing he was there with her, doing things she’d never done with anybody else.
He sighed after a moment. ‘You’re too young for me,’ he said.
The logical words sliced through the humming daze of her craving with icy cold reality.
Too young? What did age have to do with this and the way he made her feel? Did age cause her to tremble and simmer with heat until she yearned to douse herself with cold water for some relief? Age didn’t make her laugh after a hard day, or offer the comforting safety of his arms. Age had nothing to do with this strange attraction building between them. Age wasn’t a concern and he’d no business using it as an excuse.
She smiled and touched his face, slipping her fingers lightly over his rough skin. He needed a shave, but she liked this shadowy appearance on him. It suited his rough-around-the-edges personality. No, she was lying. She loved it.
‘Why am I too young?’ she asked, not about to let him off without explaining. She understood his cautiousness, because of his past, but was he using their age difference as a reason or an excuse?
‘I don’t mean in age,’ he said. ‘I mean in life’s hardships. You’re innocent, sweet and pure, and I am old and cynical. You deserve someone who’s not beaten and—’
‘Did I not just tell you about my parents?’ she asked, curious as to why he perceived her life as being spotless compared to his own when he knew better.
‘But you haven’t let your circumstances harden you. Your heart is still soft and—’
‘That’s not true,’ she argued. ‘I struggle to be myself around people and I’m always worried they’ll find out the truth about who my parents are.’
‘Would that be so bad?’ he quizzed.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘People loved my parents—or at least they loved the fake image they showed the world. When the truth came out, the public reacted as though it was all my fault. Because I looked like my mother, they blamed me for what my father did. It was twisted and horrible and it didn’t make any sense. And it didn’t help that my father refused to accept that he’d tried to kill me or that his actions drove my mother to suicide. Do you really think I want to rake all that up again and have it taint what I have now? For the first time in my life I have people who accept me. Work colleagues who treat me as one of the team. I have real friends.’
‘And I’m included in those friends?’ Kern asked, touching her face again.
She nodded. ‘I hope so.’
His hand stilled and he sighed. ‘Giving in to this attraction between us is a bad idea.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I see hope glimmering in your eyes, sweetheart. Do you honestly see any in mine?’
She rested her finger against his lips and smiled softly. No, she didn’t see hope. She saw disappointment and pain and so much regret. But she didn’t care, because none of those emotions was to do with her. What they had was new and clean.
‘I like you as you are, Kern. Battered or not. Just shut up and kiss me, won’t you? Am I asking you for anything else?’
‘But you won’t find me attractive for long,’ he argued. ‘I might infect you with my bad luck. My track record concerning relationships is poor—’
‘Maybe I’ll melt your bad luck away and replace it with some good,’ she interrupted.
Right now, she sought only to try. Everything about this man caused her to wish for more than she’d ever had before. Perhaps hope did still linger in her heart. She certainly longed for his kiss...
‘Spending time with you would change any man for the better,’ said Kern, slipping his hand into her hair. His blue eyes were thoughtful and serious as he studied her face. ‘You’re beautiful.’
She wasn’t, but under his gaze she felt it. When he looked at her he saw not a Goth or a vet but Ruby. No one had ever observed her with such intensity and need. Not just casual lust, but more a curious hungry desire. As though he craved to consume her slowly. The way a person relished a delicious sweet mouthful they knew they shouldn’t indulge in.
‘Are you going to kiss me or not?’ she asked brazenly, impatient for him to do so. Forget talking—she required full-on lip engagement.
His fingers tightened against her scalp. ‘I should finish off those sandwiches...’
She winced. ‘Not only too young, but second to your appetite? Man, you’re battering my self-worth here, with such unromantic declarations.’
‘Is that what you want, Ruby?’ he asked, his eyes twinkling. ‘Romantic words and verses? I’m not sure I’ll be any good at that stuff.’
‘No, I want you to kiss me. The rest’s not necessary—unless you really want to show me your inner poet. Though, to be honest, poetry kind of bores me.’
‘I’m tempted to try,’ he said, slowly pushing her backwards until she sank into the soft grains of sand. ‘I want to kiss you much more than I want to eat, I swear, but if I kiss you once I’m going to want to put another kiss here on your cheek, and then there on your neck, and perhaps one—’
‘Sounds perfect,’ she encouraged, melting into the swirling layers of his voice and the shivers that danced like plumes across her skin.
Everything about Kern intrigued her. His looks, his voice... He excited her and scared her. An irresistible combination. She wanted to grab him close and ignore the fear of getting hurt. Wanted him to be the one man she could truly trust and know he would never break that trust.
‘Are you nervous?’ Kern asked, his tone serious as he studied her face. ‘I promise my kiss won’t hurt.’
‘It’s afterwards I’m worried about,’ she admitted, brushing his hair back from his forehead. It was soft and thick, exactly the way she’d imagined it.
‘Well, if you hate the kiss you can slap my face and wash out your mouth with some lemonade. I promise not to be offended.’
‘It’s not th-that,’ she stammered, unsure how to explain.
She desired his kiss—she really did—but what happened after? Another kiss or three? More than just kisses? Would he want to make love to her here on the beach? In public?’
‘Tell me,’ he coaxed.
Taking hold of her courage, she did. ‘What are you hoping will happen after the kiss?’
Comprehension softened his features and a faint smile teased his lips. ‘Ruby, if we make love I promise we’ll be doing it somewhere private and comfortable, with no risk of a passing gull using my naked butt as target practice. As I’m sure you know, animal mess is no fun.’
She giggled and relaxed. ‘In that case, Mr MacKinley, stop being concerned with all the reasons not to, and get on with kissing me.’
He hesitated, as though he still sensed her wariness. ‘It’s only a kiss. And only if you like it will I do it again. You’re in control of what happens.’ He rested his forehead against her own. ‘Trust me. I know what I’m doing.’
She wrinkled her nose and voiced her last remaining doubt. ‘What if you hate kissing me?’
He rubbed a soothing thumb over her chin. ‘I suspect you’re going to be the best kisser who’s ever walked this earth. And do you know why?’
‘Why?’
‘Because this is you and I, and there’s strong chemistry between us. It’s special and rare.’
‘There is?’ she asked shyly. His words were reassurance against
the last threads of her insecurity.
He nodded. ‘Kiss me, Ruby. Throw a spell over me the way you did my horse. Use your magic hands on me, darling.’
He kissed her then, using his hand on the back of her head to draw her deeper into his embrace. His mouth was warm and persuasive as their breath joined and their tongues met for the first time.
Fire tore through Ruby’s body, scorching every nerve with its heat, taking their connection from pleasant and hesitant to full-on sizzling, with the smells of the beach and the flavours of their lunch in each breath and taste.
Kern’s groan echoed her own as their kiss deepened, until nothing but the pleasure of kissing and touching each other consumed their every thought.
When they finally broke apart, breath ragged, bodies close and smouldering, Ruby opened her eyes and stared at Kern with awe. ‘I think I rather liked that.’
Kern grinned and pulled her close again. ‘Yeah, me too.’
* * *
Kern climbed over the fence that ran along the east side of MacKinley farm and walked towards a huge oak tree. Hundreds of years old, the tree had lived through several generations of his late wife’s family.
Sitting down on the bench set purposely underneath the tree’s vast canopy, he stared out at the darkening night, broken only by the yellow glow from a single window of the large house in the distance.
Corinne’s father was probably sitting in his study, watching history programmes. They’d barely spoken at Corinne’s funeral, aware that they shared a common bond neither of them wished to acknowledge. How they’d both failed to make Corinne happy.
A rustle sounded in the darkness...probably a nocturnal animal searching for food—or maybe the spirits of Corinne’s family, horrified that he’d dared to trespass on the place where they scattered the remains of their family members and wanting to make their displeasure known.
The family hadn’t invited him to witness Corinne’s ashes being scattered. But then he’d never asked to be there. That part of his life was over. The ties finally broken so they could all move on.
‘What a mess we created, Corinne,’ Kern murmured aloud. ‘Who’d have thought we’d both return to Dorset? Back to the homes we ran from as stupid kids, concerned only with breaking away from our families.’
An owl hooted in the darkness and the rustling in the bushes ceased.
Kern closed his eyes and continued with his one-sided conversation. ‘I never was enough for you, was I? I tried to be, but we both know I wasn’t. I loved you for so many years...but perhaps if we’d divorced you’d have found happiness with someone else. Someone who understood you better than I did. Someone whose opinion you would listen to and not resent. Someone capable of giving you a child, or at least easing your pain over the absence of one. I didn’t know how to heal that ache you carried inside.’
He tilted his head and stared up at the few stars already showing in the sky.
‘Don’t you think I ached for a child too? I wanted to adopt, but you always refused to consider it.’ He shook his head. ‘I guess we were both guilty of never facing things head-on. Of not having that one important conversation. I tried a few times...but when I saw the pain in your eyes I gave up. I used work as an excuse to ignore your unhappiness, and you refused to face the reality of never becoming a mother. I hate it that after all our years together we just grew apart.’
He stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat that the memory caused.
‘Do you still hate me? That last morning when I suggested you go and talk to the doctor, you yelled at me that you did. Do you hate me all the way from heaven?’
He closed his eyes and shifted forward on the bench.
‘If I had the power to change the last few years, I would. But things were never going to change when you didn’t want them to. I think deep down you just didn’t know how to take those steps. Steps you had to take alone, to really find peace inside your heart. The only thing your father said to me at the funeral was that a person can only be helped when their troubled soul desires it. And it’s taken me a long time to realise he’s right. No doctor or counsellor in the world was going to reach you unless you decided to listen.’
He rubbed a hand over his forehead before he continued.
‘You left me with nothing, Corinne. I lost it all. The yard, the horses, respect—even the desire to succeed. You finally achieved the revenge you wanted. I sold the trophies and I watched the yard being sold to a man I couldn’t stand. Lost our home because I had debts to clear and no other way to pay them. You accused me of not listening to you that last morning, and then you made damn sure I had no choice but to.’
He leaned back again.
‘I suppose you want to know why I’ve come home when I always swore never to? Well, I said it right there. It’s home. And when things are rough that’s where you need to be.’
He stood up and shoved his hands into his jean pockets.
‘Jacob’s offered me a job, but Eloise wants me to stay and start over. Why didn’t you tell me she’d called several times over the years? Secrets and disappointments are what we became, Corinne, didn’t we?’
His thoughts returned to that afternoon at the beach and Ruby. Even now, hours later, he could still taste her sweet kisses. She was an angel who deserved a man with means and drive. Not an undecided ‘has-been’ stuck at rock-bottom, unsure how to take the first step to something better. Not a man with lingering connections to a world that had once caused her great pain regardless of her reassurances.
A decent man would walk away from Ruby and the promise of what could be. Trouble was, after kissing her the last thing Kern desired was to be decent.
‘I’ll always regret the mistakes we made,’ he whispered into the darkness. ‘But I swear I’ve learnt from them. I hope someone in the next life can make you happy. As for me—well, I think it’s time I made up my mind about the future, don’t you?’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
RUBY RESTED HER hands on the cardboard box and eyed the small red-haired boy standing on the opposite side of the examination table with caution. ‘So, Jack, who’s inside here?’
The nine-year-old stared at her, suspicion twinkling in his grey eyes. He wiped a hand across his nose and sniffed. ‘Roger.’
‘Roger?’ she repeated.
Roger the rat? Roger the snake? Roger the tarantula? Or Roger the boy’s baby brother?
Anne had mentioned that Jack liked to play jokes on people. Did he consider the new vet an easy target?
‘And who is Roger?’ she asked, hoping for a hint of what lurked inside the box.
‘He’s my best friend,’ Jack declared, giving his runny nose another wipe.
Ruby resisted the urge to fetch a tissue from the box on the desk behind her and insist he blow it. Instead, she asked, ‘And what species is Roger?’
The boy frowned. ‘What?’
‘I mean what type of animal is Roger? Am I likely to get my fingers bitten if I wiggle them inside?’
Jack’s mum chuckled from the chair in the corner.
‘You may do,’ Jack said, and then clearly recalled the first part of her question. ‘He’s a guinea pig. My guinea pig. And he’s two years old.’
‘Not a vet-eating monster, then?’ she quizzed, flashing the boy a grin.
Jack laughed. ‘Cool!’
For a spectator, perhaps, but Ruby preferred to keep her fingers and the rest of her body in one piece, safe from unidentified creatures lurking inside cardboard boxes.
‘What’s wrong with Roger?’ Ruby kept her hands on the box, not in a hurry to investigate further until she had more information. Naturally nervous creatures, guinea pigs were best left alone until she’d discovered the problem.
‘His teeth are too long,’ Jack said. ‘He can’t eat all his food.’
It was a common issue with guinea pigs.
‘Yes.’
‘Okay. Well, I think to make Roger happier I’m going to dim the overhead light for a moment. He’s been cooped up in the darkness, so we don’t want to startle him with a bright light, do we?’
Jack stayed silent while she took care of the light. Returning to the table, she opened the box and peered inside, to find a brown and white guinea pig twitching its nose and staring at her.
‘Hey, Roger,’ she murmured softly. ‘How are you doing?’
Lifting the guinea pig out, she supported its weight in one palm and carefully checked over its mouth. Yes, those teeth definitely needed some dental work. Far too big for comfortable eating.
‘Well, Jack, you are absolutely right. Roger’s front teeth are way too big, and they need filing so he can eat with ease.’
‘Will it make them smaller?’ Jack asked, reaching out to stroke a dirty finger over his pet’s tummy.
‘Yes—and I think it might be best for Roger to come back and stay with us for a morning, so we can check his other teeth. Sometimes they grow too big as well, and can make a guinea pig’s tongue sore. Let’s go and make an appointment with Anne.’
Together, with Roger back in his box, they headed to Reception and quickly made an appointment for Roger to return the next day.
Back in the consultation room, Ruby had turned her attention to clearing up when May, one of the practice nurses, knocked on the door.
‘There’s a man in Reception asking to speak with you.’
‘A man?’ Ruby asked. ‘Did he give a name?’
‘Yeah, Kern MacKinley. Shall I send him in? You’ve ten minutes before your next appointment. And Mrs Flutter and her Dobermans are always late.’
Ruby nodded. Perhaps he had a problem with Evie? Or wanted to rearrange their dinner date? Maybe share more of his wonderful kisses?
Just the thought set off fizzles of delight inside her stomach. She liked kissing Kern very much. In fact, she struggled not to think about his lips and his mouth and how they’d sent her skin tingling and warmed all her intimate parts...
Awakening His Shy Vet Page 14
