“I’m so relieved you weren’t hurt. How did you get out of there in one piece?”
“The cats just went after Karl. I clung to the cage, and they stayed away from me.” Joy fell silent then and looked at him in a strange way. “Why did you come back, Chase?”
“Because I was worried about you. I was at Sister Hannah’s when I got the word.”
“Yes, Travis told me. What were you doing there?”
“I needed some help, and I thought she was the one I needed. So I spent some time with her.”
“I miss her a lot. I’d love to go back too.”
“She’d love to see you.” He hesitated, then said, “I gave my heart to the Lord while I was there this time.”
Joy looked stunned, then said quietly, “I’m glad for you, Chase.”
“It’s a beginning, but as Sister Hannah says, it’s easier to become a Christian than it is to be the Christian you’ve become.”
A silence fell between them, each of them aware that something unpleasant lay ahead. Chase finally said simply, “I don’t want you to do the act alone with all these cats. You’re not ready for that, Joy.”
“I can get ready for it. Karl used to do the act by himself all the time. I can learn to do it by myself too.”
“Karl’s had a lot more experience than you have. When you’re alone in there you have to turn your back on half of them.”
Joy shook her head. “I can do it. I’ll just have to be careful.”
“Why do you want to do it, Joy? Do you just love applause so much—is that it?”
Joy’s face flushed. “That’s part of it, I confess, but Travis wants to go to Bible school, and my raise will help pay for it.”
“I doubt if he’ll take your money. He doesn’t want you to do it, and he’s got sense.”
Joy straightened up and said in a businesslike voice, “I’m glad you’re back, Chase. It’s good to see you again, and I’m happy for you that you’ve found God, but I’m going to do this act no matter what you or anybody else says.”
****
“I heard you were back, Chase.” Stella stood at the door of her trailer and put her hands out. When Chase took them, she gave him a firm grasp and smiled. “Somehow I thought you’d come back.”
“I guess you’ve got a pretty good idea of why I’m here.”
“Sure—you’re worried about Joy Winslow.”
“That’s right. Stella, you’ve been around circuses a long time. You know how dangerous that act is. I’ve been worried sick about her being in that cage with Karl, and here she’s talking about getting in all alone with fifteen lions and tigers.” He shook his head in despair, a pleading look in his eyes. “She can’t do it. It’s too dangerous.”
“You’re worrying too much about Joy, Chase. Come on in and sit down. Maurice is sleeping right now, and we have to talk.”
Chase sat down on the couch, and Stella sat beside him—so close that her arm brushed his. She looked at him with a searching gaze, which put him on the defensive. He had felt guilty about their last kiss, knowing it was wrong, and yet realizing too that she still had power over him. Their romance years earlier had been earthshaking for him, especially since he had been young and inexperienced. She was the first woman he’d ever been intimate with. He had been deeply in love with her, or so he’d thought. When he had returned to the circus and found her married to Colonel House, he had felt great disappointment, realizing then that he’d always hoped they would get together again. Now he was on his guard and asked, “Has Maurice been to the doctor?”
“Oh yes. He says he needs to retire—that circus life is too demanding—but he never will. He’ll die out there in his job as ringmaster.”
Chase was aware of her perfume. The familiar fragrance stirred old memories in him, but he firmly shoved them aside and said forcefully, “You just can’t let Joy do this thing, Stella. What if she gets hurt or even killed? You’d blame yourself. I know you would.”
“You can help her, Chase.”
“Me? I can’t get in that cage.”
“You could talk to her. You could teach her without getting in the cage.”
“That’s not the same thing, and you know it.”
Chase spoke earnestly, ignoring the pressure of her thigh against his as they sat close together. He knew she was sending a signal, and he desperately tried to ignore it.
When Chase finished with his impassioned plea, Stella said, “There’s something you don’t know, Chase. Before the accident, Karl had already made a deal with Ringling Brothers. He told me last week. He was going to finish the season out here and then go with them next year.”
“That’s hard to believe. He’s just not that good.”
“They thought he was. Right now there’s not a first-class cat-taming act in the country. Here’s something else you don’t know. If this circus doesn’t find a really big act—and soon—it’s going to fold.”
“But I thought—”
“Oh, we’ve had some good attendance and a few good months, but overall we just don’t have the drawing power.” Stella’s lips twisted bitterly, and she shook her head. “I’ve juggled the books and tried to come up with a way to save the circus, but it’s not looking good.”
“And you think Joy will do it for you?”
“I’m grasping at straws, Chase. Maurice is old and sick. He can’t live long, and I’m not getting any younger either. What am I going to do if this circus goes bankrupt? And another thing you don’t know—Karl was so sure he was going with the Ringling Brothers that he sold his cats to them. Now I find out that they still want the animals, even without him.”
Chase stared at Stella and shook his head. “That means no big cat act.”
“We have these cats for the rest of the season, but we’ve got to come up with a plan for next year.”
“Maybe you can find another act, but that settles it as far as Joy’s concerned.”
“Yes, for next year, but I’ve got to carry on this year.” Stella reached over and put her hand on Chase’s knee. It was an intimate gesture, one he could not mistake. He did not know what to do. To shove it off would be an affront she would never forget, but to allow it to lie there would be a surrender to an intimacy he could not agree to. He jumped up and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m stiff as a board from sitting all that time on the train. Could I have some water please?”
Stella hesitated, then rose and went to get the water. When she handed him the glass, he drank it dry, handed it back, and thanked her. Then he remained standing, walking back and forth within the limits of the trailer. “I wish you wouldn’t let Joy do it, Stella. I know you have to do what you can to save the circus, but—”
“I’ve got an idea, Chase,” Stella said. She stood before him, measuring him with her eyes. She suspected that the relationship they had once shared still had a hold on him. “Here’s what I’ve thought of. I’m ready to gamble everything on you.”
“On me!” Chase blinked with surprise. “What are you talking about?”
“Your name is still big, Chase. It’ll be a powerful draw. I need a great new act, and I need your name. You come back and do your act, and I’ll hock everything we’ve got to buy a complete stock of new cats. We’ll put all our eggs in one basket. If we get one headlining act, it could work.”
“Why, Stella, you know I can’t go in there with those cats.” Chase shook his head. “Even if I could, it would take two years to make them into a first-class act.”
“That’s why your name is important. People will come out just to see you at first. If you have young animals, you could train them to be the best in the world. You think I’ve forgotten how we used to talk about this back when we were together?”
Chase suddenly remembered his youthful enthusiasm when he had been in love with Stella. He had talked endlessly with her about working with brand-new animals and training them to do things no cats had ever done before.
Stella put her hand on his chest, an
d he could not avoid it. “You and I had something once. You know why I was so crazy about you?” She did not wait for his answer. “Because you had more courage than any man I’d ever seen. That’s why people came out to see you, Chase. They saw raw courage. A man not afraid of anything. I want to see that man again. If you really care about this girl, you’ll do it.”
“That’s not fair, Stella!”
“It’s the way it is, Chase. I’m hanging on by my fingernails. My whole life is tied up with this circus, and Maurice was good to you. His life is in it too. You say the girl’s important. Well, we’re all looking to you. You used to be a man without fear. I want to see that man again.”
Chase could not answer. A denial rose in his throat, almost making it to his lips. But instead he heard himself say, “I’ll have to think about it.”
“You’d better think fast because Joy Winslow’s going in the cage with those cats unless you do.”
****
For two days Chase wandered around the circus looking almost like he was in a trance. He said so little that people wondered what was the matter with him. Oz spoke to Travis about him. “That’s not the same Chase I knew. He hardly says a word now. What’s wrong with him, Preacher?”
“I don’t know, but something is bothering him. He won’t tell me about it. He won’t even talk.”
Oz shook his head sadly. “Everybody’s wondering why he came back at all. He won’t have anything to do with any of us.”
“I can tell you one thing, Oz,” Travis said, “he’s seeking God. I know that much. He’s got some kind of decision pressing down on him, and I know what that’s like.”
“Well, I liked him better the old way.”
“I don’t know, Oz. I’m praying for him, and once he makes his decision, I think we’ll see a new Chase Hardin.”
****
Joy was alone in her trailer. She had performed with the elephants and with Travis as the human cannonball. She had even done a stint selling tickets at the red wagon, but for two days she had wondered about Chase. He had said so little to her, she thought he must be angry with her, but it did not show in his countenance. He seemed preoccupied, and Joy wondered what was eating at him.
She had washed her hair and was combing it out, and as she looked down at the mother-of-pearl brush and comb, she thought of Sister Hannah and smiled. A knock at the door caught her attention, and she heard Chase’s voice. “Joy?”
She got up and opened the door. “Come in, Chase.” She stepped back and allowed him to enter. “Would you like some coffee? I can make some.”
“No, thanks. I’ve gotta talk to you, Joy.”
Joy stiffened her back and shook her head, a willful set to her lips. “You can talk all you want to, Chase, but it won’t do any good.”
Chase stared at her for a moment, thinking of all that had happened in the year and a half or so he had known her. He thought of the time he had first seen her in boys’ clothes, fighting off her assailants in the boxcar. He thought of the days she had spent nursing him back to health and how he had thought of her then as no more than a child. Now he saw the stubbornness on her face and knew that what he was going to say might hurt her and certainly would shock her.
“I don’t know how to say this any differently, Joy, but you’re not going into the cage with those cats.”
“Oh yes I am!”
“No, you’re not,” Chase said resolutely. “I’m going in.”
Joy stared at Chase in disbelief. “You can’t.”
“You may be right, or at least I may go in only once, but I’m gonna try to do the act again.”
“Chase, you know you can’t do that. You’ve told me those cats can smell fear. If you go in there afraid of them, they’ll jump you.”
“Then I’ll have to get rid of the fear. There’s no other way.”
Joy was shocked, even confused. “Chase, what makes you think you can do this?”
“We never know what we can do until we try. I’ve been running from myself for years now. It wasn’t the cats I was afraid of. It was myself. I was afraid to show fear.”
“That doesn’t make much sense.”
“I guess not. I don’t know how to put it, Joy,” Chase said slowly. “But here’s the situation. Do you know that the circus is about to fold?”
Shock reflected in Joy’s eyes. “What do you mean? I haven’t heard that.”
“You must have noticed that the crowds have been off.”
“Well, I suppose I have, but—”
“I’ve been talking with Stella, and she says if something big doesn’t happen, she’s going to have to shut down the show. But she has an idea. She says with one big headlining act everything can be turned around. Did you know that before Karl got hurt, he was planning to leave the circus and go to Ringling Brothers?”
“No, he never told me that.”
“Well, he told Stella, and he already sold the animals to them, so at the end of the season they’ll belong to Ringling Brothers.”
Joy stared at him in disbelief. “I never knew any of this,” she whispered.
“Stella made me an offer. She says my name will still draw the crowds. She wants to gamble everything on a brand-new act that will bring in the people, and I’m it.”
“But you’ve been out so long, and you don’t have any animals if these are going.”
“Stella says she’ll hock everything and buy a complete new set of cats, and I’ll train them the way they should be trained. I’ve never liked the ones that Karl has anyway. He wasn’t smart about buying them. Many of them had been pets, and pets don’t make good cats to train.”
Joy found she was trembling. “I don’t understand. You don’t even know if you can go in the cage, and she’s going to gamble on you?”
“For some reason she believes in me, Joy.” Chase hesitated and then said, “I wish you would too.”
Joy could not speak for a moment, but her dream seemed to be crumbling around her. She knew she was not good enough to go to Ringling Brothers with the cats, nor could she stop Stella from carrying through with this plan. If Chase went through with it, Joy would be left out. Despite her own disappointment, however, she felt a vague hope that Chase might regain his courage through this.
“Are you really going to do it, Chase?”
“Yes, and I want you to help me.”
Joy blinked with surprise. “What do you mean help you?”
“You don’t know how hard it is to train new animals, Joy. You’ve never seen it. You have to start from scratch, and you have to work with each animal every day. It’s a tremendous job, a hard job, and there are so many failures. Some animals don’t work out at all, but you don’t know until you start working with them. I want you to help me train them, and then you can be in the act.”
“I can?”
“Yes, we’ll work it out. It’ll be something we can do together.”
Joy looked into his eyes. “Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t really know. Maybe a lot of reasons. I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ve always wanted to prove that I was a man even after I walked away. I don’t know.”
“Are you sure you can face the cats, Chase?”
“If God gives me grace, I can. But listen, in the meantime, I don’t want you working with a whole cageful of cats. You can do the bit with Mabel like you used to, but no more. I’ll finish out the season if God gives me the grace. And then when we get the new animals, we’ll look to next year. Do we have an understanding, Joy?”
Joy Winslow felt she was at a fork in the road. She had made up her mind to do the act, but at the same time knew it wasn’t a good idea. Now as she looked at Chase, a myriad of thoughts flooded her mind. After several moments of silence, a smile touched her lips. “All right, Chase. You take over the act for this year, then after that we’ll do it together.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The Big Cage
Very few environments are as conducive to gossip as a circus
. The performers and workers that make the circus come alive twice a day are never very far from each other’s lives. They live in glass houses, and the most intimate parts of life that would be kept secret in the outside world are practically blazoned among circus people. Perhaps sailors confined to a small space and isolated for months at a time experience a similar climate of whisper and innuendo; girls’ schools situated far away from the hustle and bustle of civilization probably share a similar atmosphere. These people would understand how the circus is a cosmos of its own, with the constant traveling together, men and women with their families facing their co-workers morning and evening, day in and day out, their struggles and joys, victories and defeats intertwined.
In this small world the news that Chase Hardin was going to attempt a comeback in the cage was passed around so quickly that by the following morning, everyone knew exactly what was happening. Most of them were not optimistic about Chase’s decision. Mamie Madden, who had been with the circus all of her life, had simply shaken her head and said darkly, “He’s gonna get hisself killed. That’s what he’s gonna do!”
When Joy told Ella Devoe of Chase’s plan, she remained quiet for a moment, then shook her head to say, “I wish him well, but he’s been out of the cage a long time. I doubt if he can do it. Don’t get your hopes up, Joy.”
When Stella had told Maurice what the plan was, he had panicked. “We’ll lose everything we’ve got! You know once a man runs away, he can’t do anything else but run.” Stella had merely answered, “The circus is going under. Chase is our only hope, Maurice.”
Word had gotten around that Chase would have a rehearsal with the cats on Tuesday morning after breakfast. When Chase sat down at one of the tables outside the cook tent, the buzz of conversation fell off almost to nothing. Chase glanced around and raised his voice. “That’s all right. Just go ahead and talk about it.”
Frances Fairchild, one of the showgirls, sat down beside Chase as he was eating, her eyes big. “I hope it turns out good for you, Chase. I’d like to see your name all over the papers again just like it used to be.”
The Fiery Ring Page 23
