Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3)

by L. L. Collins

  “What brought you here?”

  “Work,” he answered.

  “Not a woman?” Sam bumped him playfully.

  He looked at her, that feeling in his chest again. “No.” He said it with finality, so she knew he didn’t want to go down this road.

  “Hey, we are going to have a fire tonight after the video shoot with the crew. Would you like to invite some friends?”

  Ellis stared out at the water. He knew that the girls would love coming to meet Sam, especially Jessica. Thinking of her made his stomach clench in guilt. While they weren’t anything official, and he wasn’t planning to be serious with her or anyone else, it still made him feel bad to think that he hadn’t even thought about her once since meeting Sam. He cared about her; he just knew he was no good to anyone.

  “I’ll call them and see if they can come out. I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”

  When Sam grinned, he knew he said something wrong. “They would, huh?”

  Ellis laughed. “Who wouldn’t? You are Sam Kerrigan, world famous country singer.”

  “Ha,” she scoffed. She stood up and brushed sand from her backside. “I need to go shower and get ready. I’ll meet you back out here in an hour, okay?”

  He stood up, noticing he was eye level with her since she was standing on the first step. And he was too close to her. Again. She smiled softly, her eyes searching his face. Oh no. He couldn’t do it again. Stepping up next to her, he smiled back. “Yep. One hour.” With that he walked into the house with her and to his room, eager to escape her all-knowing eyes.

  Ellis leaned over the railing, looking out at the scene on the beach below. It had been a long day, and he knew she had to be tired. They were on their last take, and she had done amazing, just as he figured. Even though she was on the beach, she looked stunning in a soft white dress, her hair loosely hanging over her shoulder, and her feet bare. The dress blew lightly in the breeze, and the energy around her was tangible. She had a gift that was for sure. They had attracted quite a crowd outside of the shooting area, many of them figuring out who was there very early in the day. Brian had relegated Ellis to the balcony so he could keep watch on the outsides of the marked off area. He was dressed in bodyguard attire, a black shirt and dark pants, dark shades, his handgun hidden from view. So far today there had been no sign of any trouble, but they weren’t taking any chances. Local police stood guard around the area. They were as safe as they could be with her out in the open. It wasn’t going to get any easier tonight as the sun went down, especially with the fans knowing where she was, but Sam was determined to have the bonfire on the beach. She was going to kill him.

  Cameras surrounded her, and the fans stood on the edge of the partitioned area, watching her. Suddenly, her eyes connected to his, and the rest of them disappeared. A bomb could’ve gone off and he wouldn’t have had any reaction. He felt the pull of her, even this far away. He wanted to deny it. He needed to deny it. But he wasn’t sure how much longer he could.

  A voice in his earpiece shook him back to reality, and he turned his eyes from her. “Ellis? You have guests here. Just approving that they are indeed here for you.” The guard at the entrance to the beach house rattled off Ben, Kayley, Rachel, Devin, Emily, Trevor, and Jessica’s names. He approved their entrance and he then radioed to Brian, telling him he was going to go meet them and lead them to the back entrance.

  “We’re wrapping up down here anyway,” he answered.

  Ellis walked through the house and they were being let into the front door by the time he got there.

  “Ellis!” Devin boomed, clapping him on the back. “Nice place! It’s beautiful out here!” He held his sleeping son’s car seat, while Rachel had their daughter’s. Ben and Kayley held the hands of their three children, as did Emily and Trevor. Jessica walked behind them, helping Rachel with diapers bags and supplies for the babies.

  “Hey Jess,” Ellis said warmly, hugging her.

  “Hey yourself,” she answered. “How’s it going?” He looked at her, noticing that something seemed off with her.

  “Are you okay?”

  Jessica laughed, but it sounded forced. “Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? I can’t wait to meet Sam! Where is she?”

  “Goodness, Jess, are you fangirling or what?” Rachel teased, taking the diaper bag from her and setting it on the table.

  The group laughed. “She’s outside finishing her video. Want to go watch the end?”

  The friends made their way out to the large deck overlooking the beach, laughing and catching up. Kayley’s daughter Alexis begged to hold one of the babies, and Rachel helped her, keeping her hands around him at all times.

  “How’s dad life?” Ellis asked.

  Devin turned to him. “Amazing, man. Like nothing I could’ve ever imagined. Those little babies are just everything to me. You need one or two of those,” he teased, ribbing him.

  Ellis laughed. “I most certainly do not.”

  “Oh that’s right,” Devin continued. “You need one of those first.” He indicated Jessica, sitting and holding Faith.

  Ellis shook his head. “Give me a break. Hey, can I ask you something?”

  “Always.”

  Ellis looked around to see if any of their friends were listening. “I have a problem.”

  “What’s that?” Devin looked concerned.

  Ellis looked down at the sand, where Sam was talking and laughing with the producer of the video. For a moment, he forgot what he was going to talk to Devin about as he watched her throw her head back in carefree laughter.

  “Uh oh,” he heard Devin say from next to him. “It’s her, isn’t it?”

  Ellis looked back at him, narrowing his eyes. Never mind. He couldn’t do it. No matter how great of a friend Devin was, he just couldn’t make the words come out.

  “What are you talking about?”

  Devin looked down at Sam, over at Jessica, then back to Ellis. “You like her, don’t you?”

  “Like who?” Ellis knew he was screwed. Why had he even thought he could ask a simple question to Devin? If there was anyone other than Carl who could read him, it was Devin. Years of working together would do that.

  “Don’t bullshit me, man. I see it, and I’m sure that’s what you were going to ask me about. What I want to know is, what are you going to do about it?”

  Ellis thought about denying it. He should. Saying it out loud was like admitting that he felt something, and he wasn’t someone who felt something. But the problem was, he really wanted Devin’s help and advice.

  Looking back at the group, enthralled with the new babies, he let out a breath slowly. “I have no idea what’s wrong with me.”

  Devin laughed, leaning his forearms on the railing. “What’s wrong with you, El? There’s nothing wrong with you. She’s a beautiful woman, who just so happens to be very successful. You would be blind if you weren’t attracted to her.” He looked back out to the sand, and Ellis followed his gaze. Sam was looking at him, noticing that he was standing up there with the group. She waved and smiled, and he felt Devin’s gaze on him as he smiled and waved back.

  “It’s more than that, isn’t it?” Ellis wanted to groan out loud, to tell him he was ridiculous and no way did he feel anything for anyone after just meeting them. But he couldn’t make his mouth form the words. When he didn’t respond, Devin whistled. “What about Jess?”

  Ellis flicked his eyes to Jessica, cooing at Faith. “It’s not like that, Dev.”

  “What isn’t? You don’t care about Jess, or you don’t care about Sam?”

  Ellis felt anger pulsing through his veins, and he didn’t know why. “I just met her,” he snapped. Devin raised his eyebrow at him, but didn’t respond. Ellis ran his hands through his hair, pulling slightly as he exhaled. “I’m sorry. It’s been a stressful two days, and I’ve spent the whole day today looking to see if anyone was trying to come get her on the beach.”

  “Any leads on that whole stalker thing?” Devin asked, tha
nkfully changing the subject. As much as Ellis thought he wanted his friend’s advice, he wasn’t willing to admit that he needed it anymore.

  “Nothing. And of course the flowers yesterday were a dead end. It’s so crazy to think that whoever this is doing this, he’s slick. I swear that there has to be someone on the inside helping, but no one seems to be able to break anyone. I’m determined I’m going to be the one that figures this out. This is her first tour. She should be enjoying her new fame, not scared to death of some crazy freak out to get her.”

  Devin studied him silently. “I’ll be damned.”

  “What?” Ellis needed to get away from him. He should’ve never invited them here.

  “You guys leave tomorrow, right?” Rachel walked up and linked one arm with him and one with Devin. He wanted to kiss her for interrupting right then.

  “Yes, we are going to the East coast for a few concerts, then to Orlando, then I’ll be back because her Florida tour will be over.”

  “We’ll see about that,” Ellis heard Devin say under his breath. He gave him a look, then turned back to Rachel.

  “You guys ready to go meet Sam? I think she’s done.”

  The group all murmured their excitement, and the kids led the way down the stairs, eight year old Alexis leading the pack, holding her brother and sister’s hands like the little mommy she was.

  As they made their way across the sand, Sam saw the group and started walking towards them. He watched as she looked at all of them, a big smile on her face.

  “You guys must be Ellis’ friends,” she said in her adorable Southern accent.

  “We’re so glad we got the chance to meet you,” Rachel piped up. “Thanks so much for inviting us. We’re big fans.”

  “I love your songs,” Alexis agreed, her blonde pigtails bobbing up and down as she jumped. “My mommy let me get your album right after it came out. We loved watching you on TV. I want to be a singer like you when I grow up.”

  “Well aren’t you just the cutest little thing,” Sam crooned. “What’s your name?”

  “Alexis Kayley Carson Nichols, but my mom and dad call me Lexi,” she said, holding out her little hand. Sam took her hand in hers, and Ellis could tell she was suppressing a laugh. Alexis was a character. He knew that from the few months he had known her. “This is my mommy, Kayley, my daddy, Ben, and my little brother Benji, he’s five, and my little sister, Cierra. She’s three. And my mommy is pregnant, too!”

  Kayley shook her head, and Ben ruffled Alexis’ hair. “Well, now that you know the whole family,” Kayley laughed. “It’s nice to meet you, Sam. As Alexis said, we’re big fans. You have a wonderful voice.”

  “Thank you,” Sam said, a blush creeping over her cheeks. Ellis watched her, amazed that even with all of this fame, regular people admiring her could make her blush.

  “I’m Rachel,” Rachel stepped up. “And this is my husband, Devin. He and Ellis have been friends for several years. These are our babies, Chance and Faith. I’m also a big fan of yours. I forced Devin to watch the show.”

  “True story,” Devin agreed, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you, though.”

  As the rest of the group introduced themselves to Sam, Ellis sat in a lounge chair, watching them. She was so at ease, at home with people she had just met. He had never been like that. Acting the part had always been just that—acting.

  The group settled around what would become the campfire when the sun went down and continued getting to know each other. Trevor and Emily’s daughter, Cate, sat right next to Sam, peppering her with questions. She took it like a champ, answering every question they had with the upmost patience.

  Jessica reached over and touched his hand, and he jumped. His eyes met hers and she smiled. “You okay?”

  “Great,” he answered. “Just getting a kick out of listening to the kids hammer Sam with questions. They really are something, aren’t they?”

  “She’s taking it well.” Jessica stood up. “Can we walk for a minute?”

  Ellis looked over at Sam, then scanned the crowd for Brian. “Just a second. I need to see if Brian can watch Sam.”

  “Watch Sam? Is it that dangerous?”

  “We have no idea how this person gets to her, so yes. We have to be extra vigilant, especially since we’re outside.” Spotting Brian in the crowd, he walked over to him and asked if he could take a few minutes. He agreed, and Ellis walked away with Jessica.

  “What’s going on?”

  Jessica laughed. “Am I that transparent?”

  “I can tell something is on your mind. I’m a cop, remember? I’m good at reading people.”

  He could tell she was nervous, so he took her hand in his. “What is it? Are you okay?”

  Jessica nodded. “I don’t know how to say this.”

  “Just say it. Whatever it is can’t be worse than what my mind is coming up with.”

  She nodded, indicating she wanted to sit. After they settled in the sand, she turned towards him, her eyes shining with tears.

  “Jess,” he started, but she held up her hand.

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” she started, looking out at the water.

  “Jess, look at me.” Her eyes met his. “What’s going on?”

  “When I lived in Michigan,” she began, her voice wavering. “I had a serious boyfriend for a few years. We broke up a few months before I moved to Florida. It wasn’t an easy break up and we hadn’t talked since. A few weeks ago, he emailed me out of the blue, said he missed me. I emailed him back, and we started talking. He said he wanted to explain what happened so I heard him out. A few days ago, h-he showed up.”

  “In Florida?” As much as Ellis wanted to feel anger, or sadness, or something, he didn’t. He felt bad that Jessica seemed upset, but that was all.

  “Yes. He said he didn’t want to live without me anymore.”

  “And?”

  “And I haven’t slept in two days. We talked everything through and I…” her voice caught, and a tear slipped down her cheek. “Don’t think I’m a terrible person. I know we haven’t been officially anything, but I still feel like I’ve done something wrong.”

  Ellis put two and two together, and a sense of relief so strong washed over him. “You two got back together.”

  Jessica put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Ellis. I never told you that we were talking again, and now I feel like I’ve been cheating on you or something. I never thought this would happen, and you’re such a wonderful guy…”

  “Jess,” Ellis interrupted. “I’ve never been fair to you. While I know I never led you into believing we could have a relationship, I knew you wanted more than I could give you.”

  “I knew that. You were honest with me. While I don’t understand why, I get that you aren’t ready to share your reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship. Still…”

  “Are you happy?”

  “Happy?”

  “Does he make you happy?”

  Jessica sighed. “I don’t want to hurt you, Ellis. You’re a great guy.”

  “Does he make you happy?” Ellis repeated.

  “He was always the one,” she admitted, looking away. “The things that broke us up were enough for me to think that we would never be together again.”

  “I’m happy for you,” Ellis said. “You deserve someone who will treat you like the amazing woman you are. I hope we can still be friends, because you are one of the most genuine people I’ve ever known.”

  Jessica’s mouth dropped open. “You aren’t mad?”

  “Why would I be mad? You deserve better than me, anyway.”

  “Ellis,” Jessica’s voice warned. “I don’t know why you think that about yourself, but it isn’t true. You’re a great guy. There’s someone out there for you, if you believe in it.”

  It was his turn to look away, but she wasn’t done. “I know you don’t believe me, but you should. You’re worth way more than you think you are. I hate whoever made you feel that you shouldn’t
or can’t love someone. But you want to know why I knew that tonight was the night to tell you about Blake?”

  Now he was intrigued. “Why?”

  “I watched Sam for the last hour. She hasn’t stopped watching every move you make. When I sat next to you and put my hand on your arm, I swear fire came out of her eyes. She doesn’t know what I am to you, but she wants to know. Everything happens for a reason, I’m a firm believer in that. And I don’t know if you have any feelings for Sam, but I know what a woman looks like when she’s interested, and she sure is. I was planning to talk to you about him anyway, just not tonight around everyone. But when I saw her around you, I knew I needed to let you go now.”

  “Let me go?”

  “Even though we weren’t a couple, I know you were hanging on to me as part friend part something more, so you didn’t have to try to find someone that you can’t breathe without. As much as I wanted to be that for you, I wasn’t. What you need to find out now is if she is that person for you.”

  She watched Ellis walking back down the beach towards them, Jessica walking by his side. He had walked away without as much as a glance in her direction. He had asked Brian to cover for him, to watch her, and then he just walked away with the beautiful girl. They had been gone for thirty-eight minutes. She knew because she had felt every single one of them.

  She knew she was being ridiculous. She had known him for two days. But that kiss they had shared was seared into her memory. There was just something about him. She wasn’t sleeping, dreaming only of those serious green eyes that felt like they could look through her.

  “Be patient,” a voice came from next to her. She jumped slightly, turning to see Ellis’ friend Devin settling in next to her, a sleeping baby on his shoulder. Her heart pounded at his simple words. He knew.

  “What?” Sam knew she needed to be careful.

  Devin nodded his head towards Ellis, almost back to the group now. “He doesn’t love her.”

  Sam opened her mouth, then shut it. Should she really talk to his friend? She didn’t know him well enough to know how much she could say.