by Kieran Scott
Back in the ’90s, her brother’s best friend’s mother’s sister committed suicide in Dreardon Lake. One day the girl was happy—nominated for prom queen, girlfriend of the hottest guy in school, bound for Michigan State—and the next, she was dead. None of her friends or her family saw it coming. It was like one day she was perfect and happy and FINE and the next she was gone. She didn’t even leave a note. Just walked out in the middle of the night and drowned herself.
Yes, you read that correctly. She DROWNED HERSELF. This is what I can’t stop thinking about. According to P, this girl walked up to some lookout point over the lake, tied her father’s 25-pound dumbbells to her legs, and JUMPED OFF! The police, who found her body, like, five days later all bloated and veiny and NIBBLED AT BY FISH, said she must have dropped like a stone and never resurfaced. AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT is this poor girl, tied to these weights at the bottom of the lake, sucking in all that water, realizing what she was doing was insane and wanting more than anything to get free and not being able to see anything because it was all dark and terrifying and panicky and heart pounding and gasping for air and—
I can’t. I’m crying. Even right now I’m crying just imagining it. And I can’t stop imagining it. And I don’t know if it’s my stupid brain and I can’t shut it off or if it’s that P spins a really good yarn, as Grandma would say, but I wish I’d never heard that stupid story. Because I don’t think I’m ever going to stop reliving it.
Hannah woke up before everyone else, which was always the way. It never mattered what time she went to sleep—she was up with the first sunrays of dawn. At home it could be irritating, because she often didn’t know what to do with herself until everyone else got going. If it was nice out, she would sometimes go for a run to get her cardio in, but then ten minutes away from her house she’d remember she hated running and stop, breathless, achy, and irritated, and drag herself back home. Sometimes she’d read or watch TV or do some extra homework, but she could never do the one thing she wanted to do that early, which was swim. The Y pool didn’t open until eight a.m. and the swim club didn’t open until nine, so even now that she had her driver’s license, doing laps was not an option at six or seven a.m.
But here at the lake, she could swim whenever she wanted.
Hannah rolled over quietly, not wanting to wake Katie, who was snoozing beside her in the king-size bed. Katie must have been exhausted from the whole boat ride trauma of yesterday, because she’d pretty much crashed as soon as they got upstairs last night. Hannah had been surprised that she’d fallen asleep easily as well. The thunder had died down in the night, which definitely helped.
Hannah automatically picked up her phone from the bedside table, but the screen was black. She remembered that she’d turned it off last night, after shooting a few texts back and forth with Theo about car-pool plans for the first day of school. She’d also texted her father to say good night. She hadn’t even waited for him to reply, worried that she’d be tempted to tell him what was going on.
Instead of turning the phone on now, she placed it back on the table facedown and jumped out of bed. She knew she couldn’t avoid her dad forever, but she could avoid him for now. He was probably still asleep anyway.
Hannah grabbed her Speedo and went to the bathroom to change. The whole house was quiet; Jacob and Colin must have been dead to the world, too. Hannah’s footsteps creaked on the stairs down to the living room, but Alessandra didn’t stir on the couch. Her face was planted nose-first into a cushion and she had one leg elevated behind her while her arm trailed to the floor. So maybe Hannah had lucked out bunking with Katie after all. Smirking, Hannah slipped outside, keeping the screen door’s squeal to a minimum by barely opening it wide enough to slide through sideways.
The morning air was cool, and a fine mist clung to the lake’s surface after last night’s storm. A tremor ran through Hannah’s body from her toes to the top of her head as she remembered the race yesterday and the hand that had tried to drag her down.
Yes, it had felt like an actual hand—she could at least admit that to herself now.
But she had decided to pretend it had never happened. Because it couldn’t have, really … right? The lake monster stories, she was sure, had been made up by bored locals with nothing better to do.
Hannah snapped on her swim cap and goggles and walked to the edge of the dock, swinging her arms front and back to loosen up her shoulder muscles. She kept her eyes averted from the island. The water lapped quietly against the dock posts. Everything was so … completely … silent.
It’s just a lake, she told herself as she did some quick butt kicks to warm up her thighs. There’s nothing out there but fish and turtles. Maybe a few frogs. Nothing to be afraid of.
Shaking her head at herself, Hannah let her toes curl over the edge of the dock. She stared down into the dark blue water. Nothing out of the ordinary.
She took a breath and dove straight out. The cold shocked her, but she shook it off. The lake had been chilled by the rainstorm and the sun hadn’t gotten strong enough yet to warm it up. Hannah surfaced and swam away from the shoreline freestyle. Stroke, stroke, stroke, breath. Stroke, stroke, stroke, breath. She lost herself in the rhythm of her movements until she started to feel her muscles warm up, then she paused and treaded water.
She’d swum out pretty far. If she had to guess, she’d say she was about halfway between the dock and Mystery Island. She glanced at the side of the island with the creepy burnt trees, wondering what had happened out there. Had someone lit a campfire and carelessly, but innocently, forgotten to douse it? Or had it been more sinister than that? Maybe someone had gone out there with the explicit intention of ruining the island. She couldn’t imagine why, but people had done more awful things than that for reasons she could never understand.
Yesterday, the island had seemed ominous and threatening, but now, with the trees on the healthy side stretching overhead against the rapidly brightening sky, it wasn’t so bad. It looked more injured than anything else. More sad than scary.
Breathing deeply in and out, Hannah tried to measure the span of lake between herself and the island. No, she wasn’t a long-distance swimmer, but she could make it there no problem if she took her time. Maybe she should give it a try. It could be kind of cool to explore Mystery Island. And there was something about doing it on her own—ignoring the NO TRESPASSING signs and breaking the rules—that sent a rush of adrenaline through her. She’d show Jacob and Katie and the others that she wasn’t completely lame—that she could be daring and fun. She was about to go for it when the front door of the house opened. Hannah turned around in the lake and saw Jacob stepping outside in his pj’s.
Jacob. Alone. My Jacob.
With one last glance at the island, Hannah started swimming for the dock. Now her heart was pounding harder, more in anticipation of having Jacob all to herself than from any exertion on her part. Her body was used to this sort of exercise, and she loved how strong and confident she felt in the water. She swam faster and faster, both wanting to get to Jacob before anyone else woke up and sort of wanting to impress him with her speed. Her pride refused to let him believe he’d actually won fair and square yesterday. She was faster than him and they both knew it.
In far less time than it had taken her to swim out, she was touching the dock again, flinging her arms up to hang off the sides. Jacob walked over, a big, fluffy beach towel in his hands.
“Nice form,” he said, rubbing the sleep from one eye.
She squinted up at him. The sun was rising just behind his head, casting his face in shadow. “Thanks.”
She reached a hand up and he hoisted her from the water. She tripped into him, and his T-shirt was still warm from being cuddled under his covers. Jacob wrapped the big towel around her and gathered it together at her front. She expected him to release her then, but he didn’t. He held her there, just inches from his chest, his shoulders, his face. There was no breath inside of her. In the distance, birds chirped. Hanna
h’s skin prickled.
He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her!
And then, the screen door slammed.
“Woooo-hoooo!” Alessandra shouted, running for the dock. Colin was right on her heels. Both wore swimsuits, and Colin’s hair stuck straight up in the back as if he’d just rolled out of bed and into his swim trunks. They barreled right past Hannah, knocking her into Jacob again, but this time her forehead bumped his chin and he took a step back, rubbing at the spot.
Moment officially crushed.
Colin and Alessandra both cannonballed into the water, splashing Jacob and Hannah from head to toe. Jacob ripped his shirt off, then followed.
“Cowabunga!” he shouted as he threw himself off the end of the dock.
Colin and Alessandra screamed and screeched as he splashed them, and Hannah stood there, watching, feeling like she could cry.
It was going to be her first kiss.
Her first kiss, from Jacob.
So close. She’d been so very close.
“Come back in!” Alessandra shouted, splashing Hannah’s feet.
Hannah shook her head. “No, I’m good. If I stay in any longer I’m going to prune.”
“I thought you were a swimmer,” Colin said matter-of-factly.
“I am, I just … don’t feel like swimming right now,” she lied.
Hannah turned and walked back toward the house, suddenly wanting more than anything to be alone. She needed to think. She needed to figure out what, if anything, had almost just happened.
Hannah only paused when she saw Katie on the porch, scowling at her in her pink boy shorts and white Oak View Softball sweatshirt. Hannah scowled back. What exactly had Katie seen?
Whatever. It didn’t matter. There was no way Hannah was going to let Katie get to her. Not now. It wasn’t as if Katie had some claim on Jacob. If anyone had a claim on him, it was Hannah, who had known him since they were both in diapers. Her stepsister opened her mouth to speak as Hannah walked by, but Hannah just kept right on walking, letting the front door slam behind her, completely cutting off whatever it was Katie had to say.
* * *
Hannah could feel herself blushing as she headed back into the master bedroom. The sun streamed through the windows, cutting long swaths of light across the hardwood floor. She sat down on the messy, white duvet and the bedsprings squeaked beneath her. The air felt close and warm. She hugged the towel tighter around her damp skin.
He almost kissed me. He really almost kissed me.
She realized then that Jacob hadn’t mentioned anything about taking her back into town for her car.
And she realized that maybe that was a good thing.
Her fingers fluttered up to touch her lips just as Katie sauntered through the door.
“Oh my God. What’re you doing?” Katie demanded.
Caught, Hannah immediately stood up. She yanked her duffel off the floor and unzipped it. She started to pull out the hastily folded clothes, keeping her back to Katie.
“Nothing,” she said. “Unpacking.”
“Unpacking? I thought you were leaving,” Katie said with a sniff, taking a few steps into the room. “Don’t tell me you’re going to stay just because of that pathetic little show out there.”
Hannah whipped her favorite plaid shorts down on the bed and turned on Katie. She hated confrontation with every fiber of her being, but if she didn’t say something right now, she was actually going to explode.
“You’re just jealous,” she stated.
Katie’s jaw dropped. Hannah noticed she had a tiny bit of dried saliva next to her mouth—she must have been drooling in her sleep—and decided not to say anything. A tiny revenge.
“Jealous?” Katie snapped. “Are you kidding me?”
“Jacob and I have been friends forever.” Hannah was shaking as she continued in her task, ripping out underwear and tank tops. “You’re jealous because we know each other so well and we have something the two of you could never have.”
“Oh, please. Who’s the one he’s been texting with until two a.m. every night?” Katie shot back. “The only reason he doesn’t want you to go home is because he knows you’ll have to take me with you. Jacob doesn’t want me to leave.”
Hannah tossed her now empty duffel into the corner with a clatter so loud it startled even her. “You are so conceited!”
“And you are so selfish!” Katie replied. “You don’t get to have everything, Hannah. Your school, your house, your friends. What about me? Why am I the one who has to leave everything behind?”
Hannah stared as tears—real, shining tears—filled the usually cold-as-ice eyes of her stepsister. Katie had never said anything like this to her before, and if Hannah was being honest with herself, she’d never really thought about it. When Katie’s mom had married her dad, it was just obvious to the world that Mylin, Katie, and Fred would move in with Hannah and her father. Hannah and her dad had more space. Hannah went to the better school. And their house was closer to the hospital where both her dad and Mylin worked.
For weeks, Hannah had silently ruminated and occasionally outright complained about having to change up her habits. About sharing her bathroom with Katie and Fred. About the Wi-Fi slowing down because their devices crowded the signal. About her dad having to split his time between Katie’s softball games, Fred’s karate matches, and Hannah’s swim meets.
But she’d never really thought about everything Katie was giving up. She’d had to move in the middle of her sophomore year. Leave her friends, her team, her home. Clearly, that had sucked for her. But still …
“I’m not being selfish,” Hannah said quietly. “He’s my best friend. He always has been. That shouldn’t have to change just because my dad got married.”
“Ugh!” Katie threw up her hands and stormed out of the room, slamming the door so hard the windowpanes shook.
Hannah took a deep breath. She felt bad for not empathizing with Katie back when their parents had gotten married, sure, but that didn’t mean she was wrong now. Katie couldn’t just sweep in here and steal the guy she liked and expect Hannah to be happy about it. Did she expect Hannah to—what? Call it even? I get to keep my school so you get to take the love of my life? That didn’t make any sense.
Hannah heard the screen door bang shut, and she went to the window to see what her stepsister would do. Katie walked over to the dock, a rolled-up magazine in her hand, and sat down on the edge, dangling her feet into the water. Maybe her fear of the lake was abating. But instead of reading, she shouted something to the others and they replied, splashing her until she screeched. The sun shone down on the water, making it glitter like a blanket of diamonds.
It was all so idyllic, and Hannah was struck with the sudden sensation that Katie belonged here, and she didn’t. She tried to shake this feeling off, but she couldn’t. There was something about the way Jacob was looking at Katie that Hannah didn’t like.
Then, Hannah saw something move in the corner of her vision, far from where Jacob and his friends were swimming. Behind them and off to the right, something rose up out of the water. At first Hannah thought seal, but that was impossible. There were no seals in mountain lakes. As the—thing—showed a bit more of its body, Hannah saw that it was wrinkled—black and gray and mottled—but it was too far away to make out any actual features.
What is it? Hannah squinted. It was too big to be a turtle, too slow to be a lake trout, and it hovered there for far too long, like some sort of alien being.
That thing wasn’t natural. Whatever it was, it didn’t belong out there.
The answer came to her then.
Lake monster.
Hannah’s blood was roaring in her ears. She grabbed for the window latch, but it wouldn’t budge. She wanted to bang on the pane and scream.
Katie! Turn your head! Hannah thought, wishing she had psychic powers. Turn around!
But Katie wouldn’t. Because she was too busy flirting with Jacob.
Hannah’s
palms started to sweat and she fumbled with the window lock, which seemed to have been painted shut. It finally cracked and opened, and Hannah fought to throw up the window. She was ready to yell down to the others, but when she looked out at the lake again, the thing was gone. All that was left of it was a series of tiny ripples in the water.
She stared at the spot where the strange creature had surfaced, both desperate to catch another glimpse and terrified that it would return. Had she really just seen the lake monster Colin and Alessandra had talked about? The longer she stared, the more her head began to pound, and she started to wonder if she’d simply imagined it. Maybe it had been a turtle. Or a piece of trash surfacing? An old, sunken boat bobbing to the top of the lake? But then, where had it disappeared to?
With a deep breath, Hannah turned from the window and began changing out of her bathing suit. One thing was for sure—she wasn’t going swimming in that lake again anytime soon.
“So if you want to buy a cute top or a pair of vintage jeans, go to Suzie Lee’s,” Alessandra explained. She was walking backward down the busy sidewalk and somehow not tripping over the barrel planters, decorative light posts, or random benches. It was like she had a sixth sense. Hannah was impressed. “But avoid Dreardon Styles at all costs.”
Hannah, Katie, Jacob, Colin, and Alessandra had all come into town for the afternoon. Katie had braved the boat ride across the lake, white-knuckled, while Hannah had kept her eyes peeled for the thing. But it hadn’t appeared again.
Now, Alessandra was giving them a quick tour while Jacob and Colin strolled along behind the girls.
The town was as busy as it had been when Hannah had first driven through it yesterday. Motorists drove slowly to avoid shoppers and strollers and bicyclists. Half the cars on the road towed a boat, or had kayaks or mountain bikes tied to their roofs. Little kids trotted along beside their parents, struggling to eat huge ice cream cones as streaks of chocolate and colorful sprinkles melted down their arms.
