So I resolved that I was going to text her less often and limit our hanging out to once a week in a public setting. That would be enough distance to help me move on, right?
But of course, the universe had other plans.
The following night, a few hours before I was going to leave for my Private Pleasures Booth shift, Faye called me.
"Hey," she said. She sounded anxious and distracted.
"Hey."
"Are you busy?"
I should have said yes, but my Midwestern upbringing made it hard for me to lie. "No."
“Oh, thank goodness," Faye breathed. "I'm having a hard time choosing what to wear tonight."
Tonight was her anniversary date with Isaiah.
“Can you come over? Schro says you need to see the full effect of my outfits. And he wants snuggles."
Wincing and knowing I should decline, I agreed.
Twenty minutes later I was seated on Faye's bed with Schro in my lap. Having the cat in my lap made me feel like I wasn't a total failure at having boundaries. His purring helped me stay settled as I heard Faye dressing in the bathroom.
She emerged first in a little black cocktail dress with a satin bow around the waist. It complimented the shine of her hair.
But she wasn't sure, so she went into the bathroom and came out wearing a floor-length dress that was eggplant purple. It was pretty, but it was more formal than was appropriate for the dinner she was going to have with Isaiah.
"It's pretty," I said. "But it's like you're..." I paused, looking for the right words.
"Going to a wedding?" she asked. "I know. Let me try the last one."
She disappeared and I heard her shuffling before the door opened and she emerged again.
My jaw dropped.
She was wearing a fitted, vintage, knee-length red dress with a bateau neckline. She looked equal parts sophisticated and sexy.
When she saw my expression, she grinned and looked down at herself. "It's a little different from what I usually wear, but... I like it."
I gave a blank nod before collecting myself and forcing my eyes up to her face. "If you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, that's an excellent start," I said.
Faye's smile turned to a grimace and she turned to her desk, picking up a tube of makeup and applying something to her lips.
Seeing her in her dress, knowing she was going to have a romantic evening out with someone who wasn't me, hurt.
"Do you have your gift?" I asked, desperate to divert the conversation to anything else.
Faye nodded. "Right here," she said, tapping a small sparkly purse that hung on her desk chair. "I keep worrying I'm going to forget it."
I nodded and swallowed, feeling awkwardly rooted to the spot as her cat purred and she quietly put on makeup.
Then I realized I needed to leave before anything started hurting more. "My shift starts in an hour," I mumbled. "Are you good?"
Faye smiled and nodded. "Hope your night's easy," she said, putting her lipstick down on the desk.
"Me too," I said. And though it pained me to say it, I added, "Have fun with Isaiah."
Faye thanked me and I trudged down the stairs to my car. The image of her in her sexy dress, hair done up, lipstick wet and bright on lips that were reserved for Isaiah made something curl in my stomach and rest there, heavy. I hoped that Isaiah knew how lucky he was.
My shift passed without incident. One of my Private Pleasures Booth regulars wanted to do our standard role-play of boss and reluctant secretary. I played along, grateful he was generous with his money and didn't ask me to do anything out of our ordinary. A few other men came, came, and went, and after my shift I went home and crawled in bed.
I woke up to my phone buzzing at two in the morning. I cracked one eye open and saw it was Faye calling. I was instantly wide-awake.
I flicked the call open and tried not to sound too groggy as I answered, "Hello?"
"Hi," Faye said. Her voice was tentative and shaky.
"Hi," I echoed.
I heard Faye breathing, as though she were walking or crying. I couldn't tell which.
"Are you awake?" she asked.
"Um... Yeah," I said, sitting up as I willed myself to be more awake.
Faye didn't say anything as a few more shaky breaths rattled through the line.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
Faye didn't answer. After a few more breaths, she asked, "Are you home?"
"Yeah."
"Can I come up?"
Was she here? Waiting outside?
"Of course," I said.
I rose off my bed, feet soft and quiet on the ground as I pulled a sweater on over my Wonder Woman shirt. "I'll buzz you in."
"Thanks."
I walked through my apartment to the door, flicking on lights to make it seem like I had been awake. I unlocked the door and pressed the buzzer long enough for Faye to open it downstairs. I listened as Faye's footsteps crescendoed up the stairs and stopped in front of my door. Then there was silence for five seconds before Faye knocked. My hand was on the doorknob already, so I simply pulled, revealing Faye, radiant in a knee-length wool coat and heels.
But her makeup had been wiped off and her hair wasn't as perfect. Her polished exterior had a crack in it.
She rushed inside, trying not to make eye contact as she came to a halt in the middle of the room. She fiddled with the top button of her coat, but kept it on. After a few seconds of taking stock of my apartment, she whirled around, eyes wide and scared as she met mine.
"He asked me to marry him," she gasped. "He asked-," she choked for a second. "I thought he wanted to move in together, but he-" Her words caught in her throat and she stood frozen in the middle of my living room.
My heart dropped into my stomach. I couldn't move or say anything. I swallowed, trying to loosen my throat. As soon as I could think, my eyes flew to Faye's hands. They rested at her side, open and helpless. She wasn't wearing a ring.
"What did you say?"
Faye stared back at me, eyes wide as she shook her head. "I couldn't say anything. I just — I just left."
I nodded and a seed of hope buried itself inside me. "What did he say?"
Faye let out a breath, and her shoulders curled further up to her ears. "I don't know. I don't remember."
I heard a buzzing in Faye's pocket, but Faye didn't move.
"Are you going to answer that?"
Faye shook her head, eyes wide.
I felt so sorry for this unraveled, terrified version of Faye. I wanted to wrap her in something soft and lay her on the couch and stroke her hair. But she was too spooked. Instead, I took a few steps towards her and tried to radiate calm.
Faye flinched. "He's worried about me."
I nodded, thinking that if I were lucky enough to be Isaiah, I would be worried sick about Faye right now too. "Do you want me to get it?"
Faye swallowed and nodded.
Being careful not to touch Faye more than was necessary, I reached into her pocket until my hand met vibration. I pulled out the phone and slid the call open.
"Hi, Isaiah," I said, trying to make my words gentle and reassuring. "This is Riley. She's at my house. She's safe."
"Is she coming back?"
I looked up and met Faye's helpless, pleading eyes mere inches from my own.
"Not tonight," I said. "But she'll call you tomorrow. At noon."
Faye swallowed, loosening as she gave a faint nod.
"Will you tell her she can forget the whole thing? I just want her to be happy," he said. His voice was panicked and I could tell he was upset.
"Of course," I said.
I moved the phone away from my mouth and repeated Isaiah's words to Faye. Faye stared up at me, her eyes seeming deeper and more scared as she nodded.
"Is she upset?" Isaiah asked.
"She's calming down," I said.
"Okay. Tell her I mean it. We can keep doing what we've been doing and nothing has to change. And— tell her I love
her."
I looked at Faye, knowing Faye could hear every word.
"I'll tell her."
I saw relief pass over Faye's face as I ended the call.
Then, before I knew what was happening, I felt a strain in my neck as my head was pushed back, my lips melded against Faye's.
Faye was kissing me. Hard and fierce and sudden. The pressure of her lips on mine was the best feeling I'd had in years. I felt like I could jump up and fly.
The kiss softened and my eyebrows shot up as I took a step back. Our lips made a wet smack as I pulled away, stunned.
My mouth hung open as I searched for words. I had to pick the exact right ones so she wouldn't get spooked even further.
But before I could find the right words, Faye's face shifted into a look of panic. Her eyes opened wider than I had ever seen them as she gasped, hands flying to her mouth.
"Shit!" Faye gasped. She held her hands over her mouth for a second before she declared, "I'm drunk! I'm sorry, I have to go!"
She made a beeline for the door, reaching for the doorknob without looking back at me.
But I caught her wrist. I knew she wasn't drunk.
"Wait."
I looked at her, trying to tell her with my eyes that it was okay that she kissed me.
"You shouldn't drive."
Faye swallowed. "What should I do?"
Faye wanted guidance in so many ways. I didn't have guidance, but I had a couch and a need to make sure Faye didn't do anything else that scared her.
"Stay here on my couch. I have an extra toothbrush."
Faye's shoulders loosened an inch. "Okay," she whispered. She looked around the apartment again before covering her face with her hands. "I don't know what's happening to me."
"It's okay. You have a lot going on right now."
Faye kept her face covered for a moment before sighing and lowering her hands to clutch at her elbows.
If I acted like everything was fine, it would help her believe it. Although, let's face it, showing up at your stripper friend's house at two in the morning after a guy asks you to marry him and then kissing her is odd behavior.
"The extra toothbrush is in the drawer to the left. It's still in the package."
Faye shuffled into the bathroom as I started moving pillows off the couch. I spread a blanket over the middle section as I listened to her brush her teeth and rinse her mouth. When I was done, I looked up to see her leaning against the frame of the bathroom door.
"Do you need anything else?" I asked, gesturing towards the couch.
Faye shook her head, a loose strand of her hair swinging next to her face. "Just to not feel crazy."
"You're not crazy," I said with a tender smile. "You're under a lot of pressure."
Faye let out an exhausted sigh. She unbuttoned her coat and hung it over the chair next to the sofa. She was still wearing her dress from her date with Isaiah. Her very form-fitting, tight-in-all-the-right-places dress.
I swallowed. "Do you want a t-shirt or something?"
Faye looked down at her dress, as if realizing she was still wearing it. "Um... sure."
I smiled back and turned into my bedroom. I opened the bottom drawer of my dresser and took out the most comforting shirt I owned, a simple tee from my hometown coffee shop. I tucked the shirt over my arm, feeling the soft, worn cotton on my still sleep-warm skin. Hopefully the shirt would comfort Faye the same way it did me.
For a moment, I let myself imagine bringing Faye to my hometown coffee shop, watching her study the menu above the register before ordering the same thing she always ordered here. It was an exciting thought, but I tucked it away. It was no use fantasizing about a future that would never happen.
But then again, that kiss made it too easy to imagine holding her hand as I opened the door of the coffee shop, senses flooded with the sounds and smells of her and coffee.
I walked back out to the living room where she was perched tentatively on the edge of the couch, still in her dress. Her hands were clutched in her lap, knees pinned together as she stared at the floor.
"Here," I said, nudging Faye's shoulder with the shirt.
Faye took the shirt and tucked it in her lap with her hands. “Thanks.”
I stood for a second before saying, "Do you want sweats too?"
Faye shook her head. "No, this is fine."
I nodded, staring down at Faye for what felt like forever before realizing she wasn't going to change while I was in the room.
"I guess I'll see you in the morning."
"Yeah," Faye said, looking back at the coffee table.
"Okay. Goodnight." I turned and walked toward my room.
"Wait," Faye called suddenly.
I looked back. Faye didn't say anything, but stood and walked over to me. She held her arms up halfway before leaning forward and hugging me. It was tentative at first, but then she rested her head on my shoulder and squeezed her arms around me. "Thank you," she murmured.
She stayed like that for a moment while my heart raced. Our bodies were pressed together with only a few layers of fabric between us. I wrapped my arms around her waist and murmured, "Of course. You can always come here."
We stayed like that until I was sure we'd get stuck together.
Then Faye pulled away, calm as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Faye turned back to the couch and picked up the shirt, throwing one last smile over her shoulder.
I forced my feet to move towards my bedroom. As I settled back into my bed, I was certain I wouldn't get a wink of sleep knowing the most beautiful girl in the world was on my couch, only yards away.
Chapter 14: Letdown
I held Faye there for a long time, hoping she really believed I wouldn't pressure her to come out until she was ready. When the tension finally left her body, I pulled back and gave her a gentle smile before I said, "Can I kiss you?"
She exhaled with a shaky smile and leaned forward, kissing me before I could kiss her. It was a kiss of gratitude, of relief, and new intimacy. It lasted only a few seconds, but I felt as though time passed between us.
I took her hand and said, "We should do something fun. Justine told me there's a cupcake exhibition in Fort Mason tomorrow. Want to go?"
Faye paused for a minute, eyes flickering down to our hands. Sensing that being in public together would make her nervous, I let go of her hand, silently promising not to be too affectionate in public. "I'll behave," I said. "I need both hands to hold cupcakes anyway."
Faye's smile returned. "That sounds fun," she said.
"Justine might be going with Avery and some of her friends from work. You can invite friends too if you want."
"That's okay," Faye said hurriedly. "I'll probably want to focus on the... cupcakes." I thought her eyes flickered down to my cleavage for a minute, but I wasn't sure.
Glad that we were planning fun things, I leaned forward and pecked her on the lips again.
"Great," I said. "What do you want to do today?"
Faye took a few steps away, stepping over a pile of books on her floor. "I don't know..." She stopped next to her bed, then reached up and fiddled with her top button with a coy smile. "I'm sure we can think of something." Her eyebrow gave a subtle lift and I felt my heart pick up.
"I'm sure we can," I said, walking to join her.
Faye reached forward to pull me closer by my shirt before lifting it over my head and drawing me flush against her torso.
I couldn't help myself from smiling as I brought my chin to hers, pressing our smiles together as she continued undressing me.
Soon we were naked and she had pushed the covers off her mattress and she was on top of me. Everything was slower this time. She still gripped my head and hips and breasts with just as much fervor, but she took time to breathe. I loved this slowed-down version of her. She even made some eye contact throughout, which I realized wasn't something she usually did.
Once she worked me up until I
was groaning and panting and writhing beneath her, holding me tight and firm as I came, she rested on top of me, satisfied and sweaty. I brushed her hair out of her face and smiled up at her. The intensity of her adoration overwhelmed me. I closed my eyes and took a few more moments to catch my breath before I opening them again.
"You ready for me?”
"Always," she said.
Tilting my chin up to kiss her, I wrapped my arms around her back and drew her into me. I slid my feet through the sheets and propped my legs up so I had some leverage with my hips. Then, suddenly, I pushed off the mattress, turning us over so I was on top of her, straddling her. At the same time, I grabbed her arms and pinned them next to her head.
She looked stunned, then jerked her hands to free herself, but I held firm. She tried once more before she exhaled in surrender.
I set about ravishing her. Hands still trapping her arms, I burrowed into her neck, nipping and sucking on the tender skin, never hard enough to leave a mark. I rocked my hips into her, setting a rhythm, feeling how our breasts rubbed together, sticky with the sweat she'd worked up between us. I started humming as I trailed lower, kissing her breasts before sucking her nipple into my mouth. She drew in a quick breath and arched up into me. My body was still humming with the orgasm she'd given me, but I felt myself starting to get aroused again. I wondered if I would ever be completely satisfied in her bed; she was saltwater to my thirst, and every touch, every breath only made me thirstier.
She shivered and tensed, and when I brushed my fingers against her sex, she whimpered. I kept playing with her gently, never delving inside. Her legs tensed and her feet pointed a few times, brow crinkling over closed eyes. Finally she was so frustrated, she muttered, "Stop teasing, Riley."
At that, I relented and pushed inside her, watching her mouth open silently in relief. From there, I worked her up until she was clutching at me and straining back with her orgasm. I watched her roll through it and smiled down at her. When she came down, she immediately flipped me over, burrowing into my neck as she recovered.
I chuckled in satisfaction, feeling her weight on top of me, elated to be close to her. We drifted towards sleep, awaking only to untangle ourselves and go to the bathroom before settling in for the night. I slept soundly, comforted by the sound of Faye's soft breathing next to me.
Wherever the Dandelion Falls Page 29
