Wherever the Dandelion Falls

by Lily R. Mason

  Faye's reaction when she came to pick me up was, "Oh... wow..." as her eyes raked me up and down. I blushed a little as I grabbed my clutch and hurried her out the door before Justine could make any digs at me. But secretly, Faye's reaction made me light up inside.

  Faye chatted about her day and the weather and a few other ordinary things on the way to the restaurant. Something about the way we were now made me feel like we were finally the same height. Sure, I wasn't as successful as she was, and I didn't make as much money yet, but I felt that on the levels that counted, we were equals. I deserved her. Whether it was the promotion or opening up to each other, I wasn't sure. But I felt good.

  Maybe this was the beginning of the intimacy Kimi had with her fiancé. Maybe this was the real deal. If this was the real deal, I liked it.

  We settled into our seats and skimmed over the menus. Faye offered to let me pick the wine, but I deferred to her better judgment. She smiled and paused before ordering two glasses of champagne.

  "Are we celebrating anything special this evening?" the waiter asked with a professional smile and slight bend at the waist.

  Faye locked eyes with me and I swear they sparkled.

  "Just each other," she smiled.

  "Lovely," the waiter said, "I'll be right back."

  I beamed back at Faye, so grateful I hadn't shut her out. She was a good person who happened to have done an awful thing a few years ago. I could live with that. What mattered was where we were now.

  "Actually," I said, smile turning coy. "There is something to celebrate tonight."

  "Oh?" Faye asked, eyebrows lifting as she shifted in her seat. "Should we wait for the champagne, or do you want to tell me now?"

  I looked toward where the waiter had just disappeared and shrugged. "I can tell you now."

  "Okay." Faye leaned forward with an eager smile on her face.

  I mirrored her eagerness and rested my arms on the table. "I had a meeting with my boss today," I began.

  Faye blinked quickly and I was glad she didn't launch into how much she hated my boss. I wasn't a big fan of him either, but that wasn't the point.

  "He told me about a new project the company is taking on about neurological stress in commuters. He asked me to be a co-author on it." I paused and smiled, hoping Faye would be happy I was to be recognized for my professional ability. Her smile was tentative, so I expounded. "Full credit, full laboratory access, I'd be a full member of the firm, and my paycheck would almost double," I said.

  Faye's mouth spread in a smile, but something about her eyes stayed muted.

  "I'm excited," I said, dipping my head. "I mean, I was thinking about looking for something else, but now I have this opportunity I never thought I'd get. No more phones, no more data-checking... I'll be a real neuroscientist."

  At that, something sparkled in Faye's eyes and she reached forward to take my hand. She was happy, but it was a calm happy. "Congratulations, Riley," she said. "You deserve it."

  I nodded and squeezed her hand back. "I just wanted to tell you in person, since it's kind of a big deal, and I wanted to see your face..." I trailed off, feeling silly for expecting Faye to jump up and down for me. I knew she didn't like Turner, so she wasn't going to throw me a parade.

  "I'm glad you did," Faye said, squeezing my hand again. "I'm happy you're being recognized for that top-notch brain of yours." She winked and I was relieved that she wasn't balking.

  I realized that I had half expected her to, which was confusing. No matter how much she disliked my boss, she would never be so rude as to try to curb my happiness.

  And yet, neither of us were excited about my big promotion.

  After dinner she took my hand as we walked out of the restaurant. After a moment, she turned to me suddenly and said, "Is this okay?"

  Smiling, I squeezed her hand and nodded. I liked that her respect for my boundaries didn't change depending on whether we were in public or private. She was always polite and if she wasn't sure about something, she asked.

  "Good," she smiled. "Because I was hoping we could hold hands during the movie."

  "Slow down there," I said with a laugh. "Holding hands at the movies leads to other things…"

  I trailed off, realizing that I had brought up sex. She'd said she wasn't going to bring it up or push me, and while I appreciated the sentiment, being given total authority over something felt weird.

  Luckily Faye laughed. "Fine, we'll have to compromise on sharing a bag of popcorn, and maybe if you're feeling frisky we can go halvsies on a milkshake afterwards."

  I jiggled our hands between us, appreciating her easy humor. "No, you better snuggle me hard in that park," I said, as though I would be upset. "It gets cold."

  Faye's face smoothed, and she gently dropped the joke. "I brought sleeping bags," she said. "One for each of us."

  "Such a gentlewoman," I said, clucking my tongue.

  "One of my many charms," she said with a grin.

  And then it was quiet for a moment, and I wondered about Faye's past relationships; I knew about her crazy college roommate, and I knew she'd dated Callie Wilson, but other than that, I had no information about her past. I wanted to know, but at the same time, I didn't. I'd only ever been with one girl before, and we'd just hung out in our dorms and eventually started making out and taking off our clothes. This was a real adult relationship, and I felt very inexperienced. Not only in relationships, but in bed.

  I couldn't deny the fact that I was nervous about having sex with Faye because of my inexperience. Faye was so confident and had had so much more girl sex than I had. She would know what she was doing, and I would look like a fool. Being a woman, I was supposed to know what I was doing, but in many ways, I was still getting to know my own body. Sometimes my body still confused me. Faye, with her attention to the detail of even the wines she drank, probably knew every nuance of the female body. She would probably figure out things about mine that I didn't know yet.

  Avoiding the topic of past relationships and sex, I squeezed her hand and said, "I've never seen this movie."

  "Me neither," Faye said with pleasant surprise.

  Something about her cheerfulness and her easy presence reassured me. My worries about not knowing how to be with a woman could wait for another day; tonight, I was going to snuggle up in a sleeping bag next to Faye and watch a romantic movie with a thousand strangers. Somehow, that seemed like a perfect way to spend the night.

  We got to the park about twenty minutes before sunset. It was a beautiful time of day when you can feel stress falling away with the light. It was still warm, only requiring a light jacket, but I'd grown accustomed to the temperature plummeting as the sun sank, and I was glad Faye had brought us sleeping bags.

  And how sweet was it that she brought two? I had never met a more thoughtful and polite person. Given how much she seemed to want sex, I knew that her interest in me as a person was genuine, since she wasn't getting any yet.

  We found a small spot on the grass, not too far removed from the screen and speakers, and laid out a blanket. People around us were chatting and drinking. We'd already had a glass of champagne at dinner, but Faye offered to get me a beer. Smiling and wanting nothing more than to soak into her company rather than tipsiness, I shook my head. Instead she went and got us a bucket of popcorn and two fancy sodas. It was romantic. I wished we had one bottle and two straws so we could share like couples used to in the old days.

  Couple.

  That word struck me as new when I thought it. Faye and I were a couple.

  I hadn't considered myself part of a couple for a long time. Years. Being part of a couple changed so much. It changed my days and nights and how other people understood me in the world. I was tied to something, however loosely. And while that did strike me as sudden and strange, I took comfort in the fact that I didn't feel different about myself.

  But when I looked at Faye's beautiful face with its golden smile, I knew that I didn't need to feel different about myself. I
only needed to feel something about her. When I was able to strip away the anxiety and expectations and doubts, what I felt around her was the best feeling in the world.

  As the movie was about to start, Faye unrolled her sleeping bag and slid her legs into it — no doubt partially to make it easier not to flash people in her skirt — and I did the same. As soon as we were both snug and settled, I inched toward her, pressing against her shoulder with mine, tilting my knees into hers, tuning every part of my body to her. I wanted her to know how good I felt around her, and how much I liked dating her. She seemed pleasantly surprised by my sudden snuggling and smiled, shifting on the blanket so her body was more receptive to mine. She leaned back on her arms, offering to bear some of my weight on her shoulder. I knew that would be uncomfortable for her, but I snuggled in for a moment as to not rebuff her gesture.

  "I like dating you," I murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.

  "I like dating you too," she cooed, reaching with her free hand to run it through my hair. "I'm glad you gave me a second chance."

  "Me too," I said.

  Faye just smiled and ran her hand through my hair for a minute.

  "Tell me something about..."

  But at that minute, the opening credits for the movie blared on, and our conversation was cut off as our attention was directed toward the movie. We settled into our propped-up snuggle and stayed there.

  When the movie ended, I didn't move. Neither did Faye. We just stayed pressed together in our sleeping bags, warm despite the late night chill. We were sore from sitting unsupported on the ground for so long, but we didn't want to extract ourselves from where we were. As everyone around us began collecting their belongings and leaving, Faye didn't budge. She kept her body sympathetic to mine as though the movie hadn't ended.

  After most of the people around us had long since gotten in their cars or returned to their apartments, Faye broke the quiet. "I just want to stay here with you all night."

  "That sounds nice," I said. "We could watch the sunrise."

  Faye turned to me, as though she too was contemplating the idea. "We could," she said. "But the homeless people might try to steal our sleeping bags."

  I said nothing, just stayed in peaceful quiet. As if deciding to settle in for a while, Faye lay back, drawing me with her. My back relaxed, glad to not be supporting my whole torso anymore. I sighed and looked up at the cloudy sky above us. Its milky haziness was somehow just as beautiful as stars that night. Laying down meant I could snuggle further into Faye's side, so I did. Our sleeping bags felt bulky and restrictive between us, but the cold would have been overwhelming had we slipped out of them, so we maneuvered enough to accommodate having them between us. I rested on my side, head pressed against Faye's shoulder, content.

  "Admitting I'm scared made me feel closer to you."

  Faye reached across her body and pulled me closer in. "I feel closer to you too," she murmured. "And I'm scared too."

  "Why is liking a not-scary person so scary?" I asked.

  Faye shook her head. "I don't know." It was quiet for a minute.

  I slid my hand into hers. "I'm sorry I freaked out when you told me about Callie. We all make mistakes."

  "Not you," Faye muttered. "You're perfect."

  "Not in the slightest," I said with a gentle smile. "But I like you too much to not give this its best shot."

  Faye squeezed my hand and her eyes sparkled with what looked like hints of grateful tears.

  And because I didn't want to watch her cry, even if they were happy tears, I leaned forward and kissed her instead.

  There was only five minutes left in the beginning pole class I was teaching. I was sweating, but felt good and loose in my body. All my demonstration spins had been sticking, and the girls seemed to understand the basics. I reminded myself to use lots of praise with them and to make time to give feedback to every student.

  I had just demonstrated a basic Falling Fairy when something in the back of the room caught my eye. I looked over at the small leopard print couch and saw Faye sitting there, legs crossed as she watched the girls spinning. She seemed to be studying them, head tilted. I could almost hear her thoughts by the expression on her face. I loved how her mind worked in questions rather than answers.

  I was still for a moment, wondering what she was doing here. We'd said eight o'clock, right? It was only quarter to seven, so I'd have time to shower and change and meet her. But there she was, perched on the couch, watching me teach girls how to spin and swivel and point.

  She looked at me and gave me a smile that seemed shy, but calm. I tried to match her expression, but I was so surprised it probably came out as a grimace. Realizing I had twelve — well, thirteen — girls waiting for me to give directions, I shook myself back into focus and told the girls to try the Falling Fairy on their own, or just to do a swoop if their arms were getting sore.

  I gave Faye a curious smile, asking her what she was doing here. She gave me the same sneaky, shy smile back. I wanted to rush over to talk to her, but the girl to my right clattered to the floor with an oof and I felt obligated to help her. After gripping her pole, I told her it was too buttery and she needed to wipe it down. I told her to swing wide and keep her lower hand firm at belly-button height, pushing away from the pole. Then I walked to the next girl, praising her form and reminding her to point her toes. I made a final round before leading the girls in stretches and discussing what we'd be going over next week.

  Two girls came up to ask me questions about purchasing shoes, and another cornered me about a private lesson. I tried not to be impatient with them, but I wanted to talk to Faye and find out why she had come here instead of meeting at the restaurant. By the time I had answered all the questions and turned to Faye, we were alone, save for one girl fiddling with her shoes in the lobby.

  "Hey," I said, lowering my voice with a hushed smile as I walked over to the couch where Faye was sitting.

  Faye's smile widened. "I hope it's okay I came here," she said, as though she was uncertain I'd want to see her.

  "Yeah, of course," I chirped.

  "I wanted to see you dance, and I figured here would be better..." She trailed off, not needing to say that she didn't want to see me dance at Jez.

  I blushed and swept the sweaty wisps of hair that always came loose from my ponytail out of my face. "Aw," I said, trying not to look too embarrassed. "I'm all gross. It's so hot in here," I said, fanning myself.

  Faye stood, taking a few hesitant steps to my left towards a pole. "So... you give private lessons?" she asked. She reached out and touched the pole timidly, as though it might shock her. After a moment she gripped it and turned back to me.

  This was an entirely new girl from the one I'd met months ago, who had been almost too shy to take off her coat when she came to tour Jez. I loved her bravery so much, and her subtle flirtation was getting me flustered and flushed in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature in the room.

  "I do," I said, taking a step toward her. "Are you interested?"

  "What's your rate?"

  I took another step. "Dinner with me."

  Faye scrunched her nose affectionately. "I was gonna do that anyway."

  I shrugged. "Then we'll have to make it twice."

  "Deal."

  I realized that Faye was actually curious about spins, and decided to cater to her curiosity. It felt good to be treated like an expert in something, especially by her.

  "What do you want to learn?"

  "What's the easiest?" she asked.

  "Probably Fireman," I said, putting my hands on my hips. I studied her street clothes, trying not to make my ogling obvious. She wore a pair of dark skinny jeans and a fitting scoop-neck t-shirt. I could see all her curves, and she was excruciatingly beautiful to me.

  "Can I be a firewoman?"

  "You can be whatever you want to be," I smiled. "Just grip the pole like that..."

  I watched as she placed her hands in the brace position grips and
stood the perfect distance out from the pole. "Good. Now just take your outside leg and swing around... Then bring your right ankle to the front of the pole and tuck your left behind."

  Faye swung her leg out and tried to wrap it around the pole, but she stumbled and slipped, tipping to the side and catching herself awkwardly with her left foot.

  "Is there something easier than that one?" she asked, looking guilty.

  "Try a swoop. Kick your right leg out around the pole, but keep your left down and let the momentum bring you around the pole once. But stay grounded."

  Faye took another courageous swing and executed a beautiful swoop. She even added a flourish at the end.

  "Look at you, you're a natural!" I said. And I meant it. Her body just knew what to do when she let go.

  "I was stumbling around a second ago, I'm such a natural," she mocked.

  I brushed her comment aside, wanting to watch her body move more. Watching her dip and swoop, graceful as a ballerina, loose like jazz, I was overwhelmed to the point where I couldn't even move.

  "Like that?" Faye asked, doing another swoop.

  "Yeah..." I murmured, captivated by her.

  "And you're supposed to do it on both sides, right?" she asked, frowning at her feet, as though she didn't quite trust them to execute the motions in mirror image.

  "Yeah..."

  She reversed her position. Gripping with her non-dominant hand, she took a hesitant step, then stopped and shook her head before trying again. Then she swooped, and while it wasn't perfect, she didn't falter, and she again spun out, arm placed perfectly, raised foot pointed.

  "Perfect," I said, looking nowhere but her face.

  She gave me a sheepish smile and tucked her hair behind her ears.

  And then we were frozen. There was no scuffing of shoes or rumbling of engines outside. It was a shining, peaceful moment.

  I felt my whole body crescendo toward her, my heart and mind amplified as she stared at me. Her face was beautiful and happy and shy, like I was so used to seeing with her. But the most stunning thing about her was that, aside from a flicker of pulse I could see in her neck that indicated she was just as excited as I was, there was no trace of fear around her. There was no shame or guilt or angst. She was just open. She wasn't trying to fix or cover up or mould into anything. I wanted to preserve that moment with her forever.