by Tess Harper
“Wow. That’s unbelievable.”
“But during the Great Depression, this whole area was abandoned because so many industries went under. Now the only thing around this area is the Brewery two blocks down.”
I smiled. “That’s originally where I thought you’d be taking me.”
“You’re a sharp one, Emily.”
No, I just really love my booze. Not that I had to tell him that…“But then you dropped me off here and I started wondering if you were going to kill me and throw me in the river.”
Oh great. That response was so much better. What a way to lighten the mood.
He laughed. “I had no idea you thought of me like that.”
“Well, you were the senior tutor who flirted with the Freshman on the soccer team.”
He laughed harder. “I was not flirting.”
“Uh, yes, you were Peter. I mean, come on, no one in their right mind would have remained my tutor the entire semester of astrophysics unless they thought I was cute.”
He smiled and walked toward me. “Well,” he drawled, stepping closer so that he was only inches away from me, “there’s no denying that. You are cute.”
I blushed and looked up into his blazing green eyes. His toned shoulders and chest were just visible under his v-neck sweater. His clean shaven face from this morning was just starting to show his five o’clock stubble. He grinned and his eyes softened. He smelled like pine.
I felt my knees grow weak as he leaned in closer toward my face. His soft lips and strong neck were now only inches from me. I could feel his warm minty breath on my lips as he exhaled.
“Emily,” he whispered.
My eyes grew heavy as I inhaled his scent.
“I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time.”
I felt dizzy and the massive room around us grew hazy and dark. He put his hand on my bare shoulder and slid it delicately down my back, sending chills down my spine. My heart was pounding so loud in my chest I was afraid he could hear it. His hand on my back supported me as I felt myself fall into his arms.
His lips were so close I didn’t understand how they couldn’t be touching me already. I tried to inhale every warm wintery breath he exhaled on my face. My heart raced as I tilted my head up, every cell in my body screaming for him to kiss me.
I closed my eyes.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he whispered.
I was about to explode. Every inch of my body was on fire my hands slid from his chest to his back. I could feel his muscles tighten as I slipped one of my fingers under his navy cashmere sweater. My breath grew heavier with anticipation as one of his hands caressed my back.
His soft lips landed on mine. They were warm and tender. I opened my mouth and let his tongue gently graze mine. I felt my body grow weak, but he pulled me into his chest harder. His lips caressed my bottom lip and tugged on it, pulling it into his kiss. I exhaled deeply and dug my fingers into his back, bringing his body closer to mine. His mouth opened again. His kisses felt like fire, and my mind was lost in a wild haze.
Slowly, his lips drifted from mine. I looked into his eyes, still dazed. Peter’s fingers traced the curve of my cheek as he swept a strand of my hair behind my ear. “You’re beautiful Emily.” He smiled. “And you can count that as my zing.”
Um…“What?”
He grinned and turned on the car. “I promised you a zing.”
“That was a zing? You mean the other night when you walked me home, you wanted to do that with me?
He nodded.
My cheeks burned, I could feel all of the blood rushing to my face. Damn, I’m pinking! I quickly looked down trying to hide my crimson cheeks. Why do I always pink?
I could feel Peter’s eyes on me and I pinked harder. Mayday! Shit, I need to distract him…
“Oops,” I said, innocently dropping my purse on the floor.
Peter instantly fell to his knees. “Allow me.”
I quickly spun around and tilted my face toward the ceiling, taking deep, slow breaths, trying desperately to get the blood to rush out of my cheeks.
I heard Peter rustling with paper. I looked down. All of the contents of my purse were on the floor.
Oh fuck.
Peter’s hands were clumsily scrambling to put everything back in my purse: my compact concealer, lip glosses (yes plural, as in the six that are constantly floating around in my purse), and my Chapsticks (yes, there are multiple of them too), my dental floss, and…Oh God… I saw it: bright green cylinders with the words TAMPAX SUPER written in big block letters.
My face burned. I could see the hesitation in Peter’s hands as he fumbled with the last neon green items as he stuffed them in and zipped up my bag.
I am such an idiot. My smooth plan to de-pinkify my cheeks had backfired horribly. No, not even horribly, criminally. I wanted to run out of the building. I’d give anything to feel the cool night air on my face. I could feel my entire face flushed at this point, no longer just my cheeks. I gulped.
Peter stood up and handed me my bag. I smiled impishly.
“Err,” I cleared my voice, “Thank you. I’m sorry, I’m so clumsy.”
My cheeks flushed again. I looked up and noticed that Peter’s cheeks were slightly pink as well.
“No problem,” he smiled.
I smiled back, it was quiet for a moment as we looked into each others eyes. Slowly, I felt all the blood leave my cheeks.
A million questions and fears ran through my head. Did I screw everything up? How could I have ruined such a perfect kiss with such a stupid idea? Is he going to take me home now? Was that the last time I’d feel those buttery soft lips on mine?
A moment passed as we silently stood there together. Was his head racing with fears too? Like, why the hell did I take out this lip gloss hoarding freak with a heavy flow?
Ok, wow, I need to stop entertaining such depressing thoughts. Just as I was about to drop my head down to my feet in fear that I’d ruined such an amazing date, Peter opened his mouth.
“Hey, you hungry?” he asked gently.
I stood there for a moment, startled by his reaction. “Yeah. Starving.”
He flashed a big grin. “Good, me too. I know just the place.”
And just when I thought I had ruined our first date, Peter held out his arm and we walked out of that magical old hotel.
I looked up, smiling back at him. “So, what did you have in mind?”
Peter grinned, “You’ll see.”
***
Sophie was waiting for me on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn when I came home.
“How was it?” she shrieked, unable to contain her excitement.
I flopped down on the couch next to her with a sigh.
“Emily! Tell me now!”
“It was…” my eyelids drifted shut. “Amazing. Unbelievable.”
“Tell me!” she squealed.
My lips curled into a blissful smile. “I don’t even know how to put it into words, Soph. I don’t know if it’s the kind of thing you can put into words. There wasn’t any one thing it was just a perfect evening with a perfect guy and neither of us could stop smiling.”
Sophie fanned herself. “Damn. What are you doing home then, girl? Why didn’t you stay out with him?”
I swatted her. “Soph!”
“Hey, just sayin!”
I hugged a pillow. “I don’t know. It just felt right. Everything felt right. Even the kiss goodnight he gave me.”
Sophie smiled back at me. “Well, I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it.”
A pang of guilt sliced through my heart as she said it, but I swiftly pushed it away. I wasn’t going to dwell on the past anymore. I was going to fight for my future.
For the rest of the evening, I believed I’d moved past the toughest hurdles.
However, it turned out I hadn’t even attempted to jump them yet.
Chapter 18
Jack hadn’t come to class on Thursday. I was worried he’d drop
ped out. Missing a day of class was never good, but after the disaster that was Tuesday I couldn’t blame him for wanting to get as far away from me as possible.
There was a cowardly part of me that wished that he, this problem, and whatever it was between us would just disappear so I’d never have to think of it again. I hated the fact that I’d even had that thought because it was the absolute worst thing that could happen.
I was a teacher, and that meant I was responsible for helping my students learn and feel safe. Letting one of them take the fall for my inappropriate behavior was not the answer.
But my shame didn’t make Jack come back to class. Tuesday’s tutoring session was by far the largest I’d ever taught, which wasn’t surprising since midterms were just around the corner. Still, Jack wasn’t there. By the end of the session, I felt like the worst TA in the world.
After collecting the student’s midterm papers, I sat down and began to read. I got through four before I started to feel lightheaded. I needed fuel to continue, and more than that, I needed to stop thinking about him. Dwelling on past mistakes wouldn’t fix them. I had many students, and I couldn’t let them down too.
I packed my things and wandered towards Harvard Square. The cafeteria was closer, but I needed more than food. I needed to clear my mind. Soph didn’t get out of work for another hour at least. I guess I could microwave some pasta and wait, but it was hard going back to ramen when you had your own personal chef. The filet mignon she’d brought back from work yesterday was delicious!
Alright, I was a glutton, or at least I sounded like one. But I had to stuff myself before heading home so I wouldn’t stare longingly at the fridge and wonder why I ate all of her Madeline’s this morning instead of saving a few of them to hold me over. Besides, what could possibly cheer you up more than greasy, delicious pizza on the square?
I slipped into the pizza joint. The young, funky place was one of my favorites and filled with hipsters and artists, not rich, preppy kids. I’d had enough of rich and preppy to last a lifetime.
I was making my way to the back of the room when I heard someone call my name.
I squinted at the crowd, not recognizing the voice. So many people were crammed into the small space that I didn’t even see who was calling me until a man with sharp cheekbones started to wave both of his hands in the air like I was a lifeboat and he needed saving.
I grinned, hiking my purse over my shoulder as I walked over. “Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Molly, Mike, and Sarah sat at a table beneath a pizza clock and a poster of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
“We hung out after our session, then decided to get food,” Mike answered.
Molly hugged onto my arm as I sat. “Why does Professor Hepburn have to be so mean?”
“Seriously! I have so much more work in this class than any of my other classes. This should be counted as a writing intensive course,” Sarah added.
“Unfortunately that’s part of college life,” I explained with a sigh. “Always talk to other students before you sign up for a class with the teacher. It will save you so much grief in the future.”
“So you don’t like Professor Hepburn either?” Molly grinned.
Oh shit. “I think I need some water.”
“You totally don’t like him!” Sarah exclaimed. “Oh my god, is he mean to you too?”
“Did you see him the first day in class? It looked like he was going to throw her out!” Mike answered.
“It isn’t like that,” I explained, though truthfully I was kind of afraid Hepburn would throw me out too. What a way to start my academic career. “He’s just a strict teacher.”
“Yeah he was. I’m so happy you’re here,” Molly cried, hugging my arm tighter. “I would have totally failed the midterm test if it wasn’t for you. And instead, I got a B! I’m more proud of that grade than any other grade I’ve ever gotten in my life. I’ve never tried so hard before.” She bit her lip. “I just hope I do well on the midterm paper. I’m so glad it’s not due until the week after the test.”
“Well, that’s good,” I said. “You got that wonderful feeling of accomplishment.”
“Yeah. Kind of wish I’d chosen a different teacher, though,” Molly smiled. “I’m never taking another class without asking around first. I’m never taking a class with that asshole again.”
I just kept smiling as the waitress set down a large Hawaiian pizza and a beer.
Mike thanked her as she opened it.
“Oh, thanks Mike,” I said once she was done pouring. “I didn’t know you’d gotten me a beer!”
“That’s actually for—”
“Who is it for, Mr. 19?”
“My card says I’m 22.”
“And anyone who saw me sitting here with underage students as they drank would say I was fired.”
He scowled. “Damn. I shouldn’t have waved you over.”
“It’s okay Mike!” Sarah said, unlatching herself from my arm and hugging onto his. “We can go to Jimmy’s after this.”
“I’m pretending I didn’t hear that,” I said as I took a sip.
“Oh man, do you think Jack is gonna want to go to Jimmy’s?” Molly asked, blushing.
My heart stopped.
“Oh Molly, give it up. That guy is a saint,” Sarah said.
“A saint?” I asked, voice tight.
“Yeah. Jenny and a lot of the girls knew him before he got here, and he totally wasn’t like this before. He used to sleep around with everyone. And I mean everyone.”
“Everyone?” I whispered.
Sarah nodded. “He was a total manwhore. You know Kristen, that girl who is the head of our sorority? Okay, maybe you don’t know her. Anyways, he even banged her mom.”
The pizza fell from my hands. “Her mom?”
“Yeah. She walked in on them in the kitchen. He was like only 16 at the time, and she was 45. It was gross.” Sarah shook her head. “I know he’s hot, Molly, but come on. That guy is a total slut. He’d hit anything that moves.”
I shut my eyes. I really didn’t want to hear this.
“Hey, he just knows how to show a girl a good time,” Molly defended.
“Used to know how,” Sarah corrected. “Like I said, since he started school, he’s been a saint. Hasn’t even looked at a girl. It’s so weird.”
Molly sighed. “It’s so cruel, you mean. A guy like that shouldn’t hold himself back. He needs to give all of us a taste so we know what heaven feels like.”
“Whatever. Give it up, Molly. Who knows if he’s even still around? No one’s seen him since last Tuesday.”
My heart plummeted. No one had seen him since then? Really? Even though I knew it was stupid, I asked, “What happened?”
Mike shrugged. “No one knows.”
Molly pouted. “I hope he didn’t get a girlfriend.”
Just then, Donnie pulled up a stool and plopped down “You hope who doesn’t have a boyfriend?”
Molly pushed him playfully—or at least I hope it was playfully. “Jack of course! Not you. Jack is—”
She stopped as Bret and the other guy next to Donnie sat.
Two dark eyes studied me. They were just as intense as they’d been on Tuesday—just as blue and vibrant and devastating—but dark, purple, puffy patches decorated his perfectly chiseled face, making him look as rugged and dangerous as I knew him to be.
The girls squealed. “Oh my God Jack! What the hell happened?”
Jack’s eyes stayed on me, but he said nothing.
Donnie knit his hands behind his head and leaned back. “Got in a fight with some dude while scoping out some chick.”
Sarah gasped.
Molly pouted. “Oh, poor baby. You look awful. But why don’t you ever scope out us, Jack?”
“Because you don’t have an ass like that chick did,” Donnie said. “Damn, I’d totally tap that.”
