by Ravenna Tate
Right. Good luck with that.
Except that she’d spent a restless night dreaming about him. And now, even after a long shower and some food, she still couldn’t get those eyes or that grin out of her damn head. This wasn’t like her. Not by a long shot. And she hated herself for it.
There was no time to be weak, despite what Donny had said. She knew he’d meant well, but he didn’t understand. He’d grown up in a big family, surrounded by people who loved him and supported him. Liz had no one. Everything she’d acquired had been because of hard work and self-sacrifice.
When the downstairs buzzer sounded, she ignored it at first. No one ever came to see her, and she had no packages coming, especially on a Sunday. It wasn’t unusual for someone to buzz the wrong apartment. She flipped through the TV channels, trying to find something that might take her mind off Rahab, when the damn thing buzzed again, for longer this time.
What the fuck? If it was Russell with more work for her on those fucking contracts, she’d scream. Even as she walked toward the intercom, she knew it wasn’t Russell. He’d call first, not simply come over.
“Who is it?” she asked, using the rough voice she always used in this building. Because it wasn’t exactly safe here.
“Rahab.”
What? “Rahab?”
“Yes. It’s me. Can I come up?”
Oh my God… “Of course.” Liz pushed the button to unlock the door and tried to keep breathing. She wished there was time to change into something more attractive than her damn PJs, but his boots already sounded on the stairs.
Why was he here? And how the fuck did he know where she lived?
She opened the door before he knocked and stared at him. All six-foot-four, muscled, tattooed biker dude of him. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah. Sorry.” Liz stepped aside and closed the door behind him. “How did you find me?”
“Don’t be mad when I tell you.”
“I won’t be.”
“Donny showed us a database once. We can find pretty much anyone.”
“Why are you here?”
His expression grew hard. “Because I wanted to hear it from you in person.”
“Hear what?”
“Why you blew out of the club last night by the back door.”
Are you kidding me? “Because it was very crowded in the club by the time Donny and I finished his contracts, and it was easier for me to go out the back. Donny walked me to my car, and then he went home, too.”
He looked confused for a second. “So you didn’t leave that way to avoid me?”
“No. Of course not.”
“I assumed you were so bitchy to me because you didn’t want to fuck me again.”
“Oh, shit. Rahab, I’m really sorry. I was bitchy. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want to fuck you again.”
“What was the reason, then?”
If she told him, would he understand? It wasn’t something she went around telling the men she fucked. She didn’t want him thinking she was a cold-hearted bitch, but clearly, she’d hurt him, and that upset her. She’d made assumptions about him that weren’t true.
“I didn’t think it mattered to you if I fucked you again or not. I’m not the first woman you’ve done that with. Fucked her almost as soon as you met her. I assumed you’d simply move on.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for long moments. The emotional rollercoaster inside Liz’s head confused her. The very last thing she’d expected was to find Rahab standing inside her apartment, asking about last night.
“Don’t make me ask, Liz.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when the conflicted tone in his voice finally registered. He was an MC member. Coming here, asking her to have sex with him again, was completely against his nature. He likely hadn’t told anyone what he was doing, either. This was very hard on him, and was probably something he had never done before.
Hell. She’d told Donny about her past, and there was no possibility of a sexual relationship between them. Didn’t she owe Rahab the same consideration? Obviously, he wanted to be with her again, and there was no point in pretending she could simply forget him.
Maybe Donny had a point? It was time to let someone else inside her tight little world. Maybe what she feared wouldn’t happen, or at least she’d be able to control it, now that she’d identified it to another person? At the minimum, Rahab would have the explanation he deserved.
“Rahab, have a seat. There’s a story I’d like to tell you.”
Chapter Nine
“I didn’t mean to come across as bitchy, and I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was trying to be determined.”
“Determined to do what?” He sat next to her on the sofa, but not too close. That was too much for any man to bear.
“Not to cave and have sex with you again.”
“I thought you said that wasn’t why you left?” He’d come all the way out here to hear this? Fuck it.
“No. I mean, I did say that, but that’s not what I mean.”
She ran a hand through her hair, which only made Rahab want to grab it and use it to pull her on top of him. His fucking dick was as hard as a rock, merely from seeing her again. Especially with messed up hair, no make-up on, and those soft-looking pajamas. She looked like she’d just crawled out of bed. This had been a huge mistake.
“I’m doing a lousy job of explaining this. Let me start at the beginning. You want something to drink?”
“No.”
“Okay. Rahab, I have a past I’m really ashamed of. I hide it from people. It also makes me determined not to let anyone or anything interfere with my plans and goals.”
“I’m not trying to do that.”
“I know you’re not. But … I don’t know how else to say this, so I’m sorry if it comes across as blunt. You’re not my first one-night stand, but I don’t usually sit and think about the guys again. If it’s a one-time thing, I’m fine with that.”
Well, at least he finally had a definitive answer. “I didn’t think it was a one-time thing.”
“I know that now. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted it to be or not, until I realized that there’s something about you I can’t let go of.”
What?
“But I can’t let that happen. I can’t get attached to you. I’m going to law school. Again, I don’t mean to sound cruel, but getting tied up with a guy isn’t in those plans. If I let that happen, it will derail everything I’ve worked so hard for.”
Rahab struggled to make sense of this, because she sounded so damn conflicted. “We don’t have to get tied up, as you call it, just to have great sex.”
“No, we don’t.”
“So what aren’t you telling me? Because now it’s my turn not to sound cruel, but you aren’t making much fucking sense.”
“I know. I need to start at the beginning. I want you to understand what I’ve gone through. I never knew my father, and my mother gave me up when I was born. She was raped by someone she knew, and she was only fifteen when she had me.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah. I’m sure it did, for her. I was raised in the foster care system. I saw shit I can’t even talk about. Things that make me wonder whether having such a system is even worth it.”
“Did someone rape you?”
“No. But several times it came close to that. I learned to be a fighter. And, I got lucky a few times. But it wasn’t only the attempted sexual abuse. It’s the fact that you aren’t their kid. Never will be. Some of them make sure you don’t forget that. I’m not saying all the families I was placed with were assholes, or really shouldn’t be taking in foster kids, but it’s not a way to grow up. I’d never wish it on anyone.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.”
“I went to so many different schools that I couldn’t even name them all. I’d have to really think about it. I made no friends. Not ever. I was never in one place long enough to try. My mother never tried to find me, and neither di
d her family. When I wanted to find her, I was discouraged from doing so by everyone I asked.”
“Why?”
“She didn’t want to be found. That’s what I was told. So I’ve stopped trying. I’m sure there’s a reason why. I have to try to understand and respect that.”
“Liz, I’m really sorry. I can’t imagine growing up knowing that. Did you get through school?”
“Yes. But even after I turned eighteen and graduated from high school, I had nothing. I hadn’t worked yet, so I had no money. I didn’t even have a place to live.”
“That’s a rough childhood you had.”
“I had no childhood. After I left the program, I got a job as a cashier in a grocery store near a halfway house they put me in. I was there six months before I could get my own place.” She glanced around. “This place. The neighborhood was already bad when I moved here, but it’s cheap.”
“Is that why you stay now?”
“Yeah. But it’s getting worse.”
“So move.”
“I’m afraid to. It’s like I can’t get past the fear that I’ll wake up one day and be right back where I was. I worked a bunch of crappy jobs and saved every cent I could until I had enough to pursue my paralegal degree. That took five years.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah. After a lifetime of being in and out of courtrooms for hearings, I knew that’s where I wanted to work, but law school was out of reach at the time. I barely saved enough to pay for a two-year degree, let alone pay for a four-year degree and then law school.”
He nodded slowly. While it wasn’t the worst story he’d ever heard, it certainly was a tragic one. No wonder she was so driven.
“It took me four years to finish what was supposed to take two years, because I worked all the way through it.”
“That’s impressive.”
“I suppose it is, but my point is that this is who I am. I’ve had nothing handed to me, and I’m not where I am because someone took care of me, or made it easy for me to do what I wanted to do. I did this on my own, and by sacrificing every step of the way.”
Which meant she had a huge chip on her shoulder, but he understood why.
“My first paralegal job wasn’t full time and it didn’t pay much, but it gave me practical experience. I stayed two years until I saw the opening for the job I have now. I’ve been with them for about a month now. Five more months, and they will pay my way through law school, as long as I keep working for them.”
“Wow. That’s great.”
“Yeah. But that’s exactly why I can’t let anything or anyone fuck it up for me.”
“Liz, like I said, I’m not trying to fuck up your life. I’m not asking you to stop being who you are or give up anything for me. Your story is impressive as hell, and I’m flattered you shared it with me, but this still comes down to one question, and one question only. Do you want to keep having sex with me or not?”
God, he fucking hated having to ask it.
“I didn’t think so until I saw you again last night.”
The most unfamiliar sense of relief coursed through him. This woman had crawled under his skin in the worst fucking way. “Why didn’t you tell me all this yesterday?”
“Because I don’t talk about it.” She averted her gaze. “Well, not until now, anyway. I’m ashamed of it. It’s like having strikes against me right from the start, and I don’t want anyone’s pity.”
He grinned. “Okay. You don’t have mine. Does that help?”
She almost smiled back. At least the confusion had left her eyes. “Yes, it does. Thank you for listening, and for understanding.”
“You aren’t the first person I’ve met with a shitty past.”
“So what do we do now?”
As he opened his mouth to speak, the thumping beat of some fucking loud music stopped him. Liz laughed. “Yeah. That’s exactly how I feel every damn day of my life.”
“Where the fuck is that coming from?”
She pointed toward the far wall. “Asshole who lives next door. He turns it down at ten, though, so at least I get some sleep.”
“Jesus Christ, Liz. Surely you can afford a nicer place by now.”
“Yes, but then what if something happens with my job?”
“Well, okay, but fuck. This is a really bad neighborhood, and this building is rundown as shit.”
“I know.”
“My room is a lot nicer.”
Her grin made his dick hurt. “Yeah, it sure is. Give me ten minutes.”
“To do what?”
She laughed, and his heart soared. He shouldn’t care so much, but the simple truth was, he did. “To change into clothes.”
“You look fine.”
“I’m not going out in public wearing PJs.”
Rahab shrugged. “Fine, but hurry the fuck up. I want to fuck you now.”
Her grin increased as he eyed the wall. “Fuck it. So do I.” Rahab’s jaw went slack as she peeled off her pajamas, revealing the ripe, lush body that had given him so much pleasure two nights ago. “Shit. My condoms are all the way down the hall in the bedroom.”
He pulled one out of his jeans pockets. “Never leave home without it.” She laughed again, but he silenced it by pulling her close and shoving his tongue into her mouth. His groans joined hers as they moved their mouths over each other’s in a kiss so hot, he expected the building to catch fire. The fucking music was forgotten as Rahab pushed her down on the sofa and slid his tongue to her tits.
“I’ve missed these.” He grasped the mounds of flesh and kneaded them in his hands, loving the way she arched her hips toward him. Her beautiful dark eyes were all soft and filled with lust, just the way they should be.
Rahab donned the condom and slid two fingers into her pussy, groaning again to find it so wet. “You want me as much as I want you.”
“Yes. Yes, I do. Fuck me, Rahab. Fuck me hard.”
“Goddamn.” He lifted her hips and plunged his cock into that wet hole, crying out as he filled her to the brim. Each hard thrust forced another loud moan from her. His balls slapped her ass, and still he drove deeper. He never wanted to feel the loss he’d experienced last night and this morning again.
“We’re going to fuck every day.”
“Okay.”
“I’m fucking serious, Liz.” Rahab pulled out and turned her onto her side, bending her legs at the knees and lifting her top leg slightly. He rubbed her clit until her moans told him she was close to coming, and then he sank his dick back into her pussy and lowered her leg.
“Oh fuck! Oh my God, that feels so fucking good!”
“I want you to come.”
And that was all it took. She exploded in a climax that rocked him to the core, but he wasn’t ready to let go of his own orgasm yet. He fucked her hard and rough now, possessing her body. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“I won’t,” she whispered.
“We’re going to fuck when I say we will. You got it?”
“Yes. Oh God. Please don’t stop.”
Rahab leaned over and kissed her, shoving his tongue into her mouth again. When he released the kiss, he withdrew once more and turned her onto her stomach. “Get on your hands and knees.”
She did, and then he swiveled her torso until she faced the back of the sofa. He stood behind her and smacked her bruised ass cheeks, hard. “You look so fucking sexy like this. When we get to my room, I’m going to introduce you to my paddle collection.”
“Oh God…”
“Yeah. That’s right. You have been a very bad girl, and you’re going to be punished for it.” Rahab slid his dick into her pussy from behind, and grasped her hips so he could slam into her hard and deep. Her moans turned into one long, continuous noise as he gave it to her good.
“You like this? Fucking like this?”
“Yes. I love it.”
“Good. Because this is what I love to do, too.” He grunted as his climax grew closer, and when he reached the point o
f no return, he thrust as hard and fast as he could before finally exploding in a mind-numbing orgasm that left him breathless and panting.
When he withdrew, she stayed that way, and the sight of that bruised ass and her dripping-wet pussy almost made him hard again. Time to get her back to the club where he could paddle her and fuck her again. He’d never get enough of this woman. Never.
Chapter Ten
Liz packed her bag with work clothes, shoes, and her personal items in case she ended up spending the night and needed to drive to work in the morning from the club. When they went outside and she headed toward her car, he protested.
“I drove my truck ‘cause I wasn’t sure if you’d ever been on a bike. I’ll drive you to the club.”
“But then you’ll have to drive me to work in the morning if I stay.”
He grinned, and her entire body tingled. “What makes you think I want you to stay?”
“Yeah. Right.”
Rahab pulled her close and held her. “Okay. You got me. I want you to stay. But it’s no big deal to drive you to work in the morning. What time do you have to be there?”
“Eight.”
“And what time are you off?”
“I can take a bus home. Well, two buses, actually, but I’ve done it before.” She’d done it a lot lately because her car was thirteen years old and broke down often.
“Liz.” he glanced down at her with an indulgent expression. “What time do you get off work?”
“Usually four-thirty, but sometimes I have to stay late.”
“Then let me know what time to come and get you, and I will.”
“This is what I meant before.”
“If you’re going to spend the night with me, I’m driving you to and from work.”
“Since when are MC members such gentlemen?”
“I’m not a gentleman. I just don’t want you leaving in the morning before I get a chance to fuck you again, or at least get a damn blowjob.”
At first, she thought he was joking, but nope. He was dead serious. The images racing through her mind had her horny as hell all over again. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”
