by A. C. James
“Could be like that again with the three of us,” Toren said to Arie’s retreating back but he kept on going, ignoring the remark.
I had to give Arie credit. He’d kept his cool; but I supposed he had a lot of experience dealing with Toren, who I was beginning to think enjoyed being an almost perpetual source of conflict.
“You shouldn’t tease him,” I said.
“Why not? He makes it so easy.”
Obviously common sense should have dictated that if you didn’t want to get your teeth knocked in you might not want to tease your vampire brother or hit on his girlfriend. But somehow I knew it would be pointless to explain that to Toren when he clearly didn’t care one way or the other if he pissed Arie off. In fact, he’d goaded Arie throughout most of our meal.
“It’s not a good idea. Don’t play games with him,” I said.
“I’ve been playing games with him my whole life.” He paused and the fire in his eyes made me want to look away, except I couldn’t. “But I’d rather play games with you.”
My intake of breath was audible.
“I can’t and you shouldn’t want to.”
“Oh, but I do.”
“Don’t you get it?”
Toren grinned. “Oh, I get it plenty.”
I shook my head and ignored his innuendo. “I’m with your brother.”
“Do you want to be?”
Those green eyes regarded me intently and he seemed to be studying my face as he waited for my response.
My forehead creased into a frown. “Of course.”
“Do you love him?”
I stared at him. I couldn’t believe his audacity.
“Do you? Because if you did then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
He smirked. “Ah, but you didn’t answer my question. And somehow that tells me everything.”
Right then I wanted to hit him. I didn’t like sparring with Toren. So I decided if he thought he could play games with me I’d give as good as I got. I flung at him the first thing I could think of that I thought would get under his skin.
“I didn’t have to. Those cute little noises I was making last night should tell you everything you need to know.”
I took a sip of coffee to hide my smile behind my mug. For a second I even felt triumphant at my comeback.
Except the only reaction he gave was to put down his fork and then cross his arms as he leaned back, that smug smile curving his mouth. He’d looked amused, and this only served to infuriate me more. My comment wasn’t meant to be funny. I was trying to make a point, and if I was being honest I deliberately wanted to irritate him as much as he’d pissed me off all through breakfast.
“Only thing it told me, darlin’, is that you like to fuck.”
-And I’m guessing that you’re good at it.-
He added the last bit telepathically and I didn’t like how intimate it felt. His words seemed to reach inside my brain like a psychic caress. I sat there trying to think of something witty to say when Arie approached our table. He looked dazed. He’d looked the same way yesterday when he’d forgotten who I was.
Shit.
When he reached the table and looked at me, he seemed pissed to see me sitting there. “Why are you here?”
My mouth dropped open. What the hell was I supposed to say to that?
“Hey, the diner was your idea…” Toren trailed off as he looked up and realized that Arie wasn’t himself.
Arie had suggested going to breakfast to get Toren out of the loft. Now that he’d gotten what he came for—information on Katarina—there wasn’t much reason for him to stick around, and we could send him on his way. At least that’s the way Arie saw it. Now I wasn’t so sure. Even as much as I wanted to throttle Toren half the time, the Arie that stood glaring down at me was terrifying.
“You’re scaring me,” I whispered.
Arie scoffed. “That’s rich, Kat.”
Oh. My. God.
“You’ve never been afraid of anything,” he persisted.
All the air pushed out of my lungs. My heart ached to hear the venom in his voice. I looked down and twisted the promise ring he’d given me. The man I loved was lost to me, and I wondered if I’d ever get him back. If this kept happening, I didn’t know if I could handle the way he looked at me like I was nothing more than a pebble in his shoe.
“I’m not Katarina,” I said quietly.
My throat tightened and the coffee in my stomach churned. I had to hold it down, or else I’d be throwing up blood along with the bitter brew. That would turn some heads.
Arie looked from me to Toren and then back again.
“Do you know who I am?” Toren asked.
Toren looked more serious than I’d ever seen in the short time that I’d known him.
Arie shot him a look. “Don’t be ridiculous. I know exactly who you are. You’re the same cocksucker you’ve always been.”
Toren laughed. “Well at least he knows who I am.”
I choked back my pain and tried to get through to him. “Look at me. I’m Holly. Don’t you remember me?”
-Please, Arie.-
Arie’s gaze dropped to mine and he staggered. I pulled him back into the booth next to me.
“Look at me long and hard. Tell me that you remember who I am. Think about the first time we met…”
His eyes searched my face. “I—”
“Arie, please…”
“Holly…” Arie reached out to brush the hair out of my face and he tucked a stray strand behind my ear like he’d done a million times before. “You were eating a marshmallow fluff sandwich behind the counter at the Coffee Grind. You were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I knew the first time I laid eyes on you that I had to meet you and make you mine.”
-I love you. I can’t lose you now.-
His telepathic words meant everything.
“You know me,” I whispered.
“I will always know you.” Arie kissed my forehead.
I closed my eyes.
God, I wanted to believe that, but right now I didn’t understand why this was happening. All I knew was that it scared the shit out of me, and I couldn’t imagine a world where the man I loved didn’t even know my name. It hurt worse than my grandmother, worse than a knife to the heart. But I couldn’t let the deep emotional cut show at the moment. I had to be strong. I had to do everything in my power to help him. I’d fall apart later, when he didn’t need me to be the strong one.
I opened my eyes and looked across the table at Toren. “You have to help me.”
I wasn’t happy about it, but I knew it was the only way.
“How long has this been going on?” Toren asked.
“Right when you showed up,” I said, as I folded Arie’s hand into mine.
I needed to hold on to him.
“Well something had to trigger it,” Toren said.
Arie’s laugh was harsh as he glared across the table at him. “Yeah, you.”
“Not now. We have to work together to figure this out,” I said. “Kill each other once we figure out why this is happening and how to stop it. You can bicker all you want then, but in the meantime I can’t take the two of you going at it.”
“Holly’s right,” Toren said. “Regardless of how you feel about me, right now you need more help than she can manage on her own.”
Arie sighed. “Why did you have to come back? I mean, what was it about that twisted woman that you just couldn’t let go of?”
Toren scowled. “She wouldn’t have been nearly as twisted if you hadn’t turned her. She couldn’t take the visions and being a vampire.”
“There was no way I could have known that—”
“This isn’t doing any good. We’re wasting time sitting here arguing over the past,” I said. “And none of it matters anymore.”
Toren sighed. “You have to let me help you. Whether you like it or not, the two of you need me.”
“Let’s just be clear. If you’re sticking aro
und, then you will stay away from Holly.” Arie was firm. Uncompromising.
“Kind of hard if I’m helping—”
“The only thing that’s going to be hard is how hard I hit you if you touch her,” Arie said. The conviction in his voice and the deadly threat brooked no argument from Toren, who raised his hands in surrender.
“All right, all right. You win,” Toren said.
“Are we quite done here?” I asked.
Toren shrugged. “Yup. On my honor as a choir boy—I’ll be good. Saintly.”
Right now the only thing that Toren seemed good at was turning my world upside down, and somehow I didn’t think Toren had been a choir boy a day in his life. But the temporary truce was better than the two of them fighting. Certainly better than almost coming to blows, which would have been the case if we were anywhere other than a diner.
I looked out the window and saw a flash of blonde curls bouncing down the sidewalk. When the woman turned, it wasn’t who I thought it was—but now I knew where we had to go. The sensation knotted in my gut was as clear an indicator as if the Sight were guiding me, even though I hadn’t had a vision.
“Come on. Let’s go,” I said as I nudged Arie to slide out of the booth.
“Go where?” Arie asked.
“We need to see Rue. If anyone will know what to do, it’ll be her,” I said.
“Rue? Who the hell is Rue?” Toren asked.
“My godmother. She’s a witch, and so am I.”
Toren arched an eyebrow and then looked at Arie. “You don’t say.”
I knew he was taking a dig at Arie because Katarina had been a gypsy witch and the similarities between us were uncanny. Before Arie could respond, I took his hand and pulled him to the front of the diner and out the door into the windy Chicago street. The gust that greeted us whipped my chestnut hair, rippling out behind me like a river.
“Don’t even bother,” I muttered as I squeezed Arie’s hand.
“Trust me. I haven’t bothered with him in years.”
“Let’s just get through this, and then you can go back to hating one another if that’s what you’re so determined to do.”
Arie sighed. “He makes it impossible to do anything else. Believe me, I’ve tried. I really have.”
“Just remember…” I paused. “He’s still your family.”
“And he’s an asshole.”
I laughed. “I suppose every family needs at least one asshole to keep things interesting.”
“I heard that,” Toren muttered.
Again, I didn’t turn around to engage him. That was exactly what Toren wanted, and I wasn’t about to give it to him. He made me nervous, but I knew with Arie’s fluctuating memory loss and how he felt about Katarina, that having Toren here was a necessary evil. It just didn’t help that he made me feel unsure of myself, unsure of my relationship, when he spoke to me more directly than anyone ever had. I couldn’t answer the questions in my heart when Arie needed me to focus on finding out what had caused this alteration, which seemed to be getting worse. I hoped that I was right and Rue would know what to do.
* * *
Armed with the only plan I could come up with, we piled into my BMW and drove to Rue’s Attic – Goddess & Goth, Thrift & Gift. Why did it seem like every time I saw Rue I was dropping a big stinking mess right on her doorstep? I’d mentioned it on the drive back from Lake Springfield, but she’d shrugged and said ‘Isn’t that what godmothers are for?’ to reassure me. It did help a little, but I still wished that for just once that my visit would be the milk-and-cookies variety.
“So how far is this place?” Toren asked from the backseat.
Arie met his eyes in the rearview mirror but didn’t answer.
“It’s not far. We’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said.
“Why do you think she can help us?”
I couldn’t admit that I didn’t have anything to go on other than my gut instinct, which was warring with my doubt that I wouldn’t be able to help Arie at all.
“I just know.”
Toren scoffed. “How very intuitive of you.”
“Look, do you have a better idea?” I snapped.
I worried my lower lip with my teeth and was glad Toren couldn’t see me from his vantage point in the backseat.
“She has the Sight,” Arie said.
“Well, Miss Clairvoyant, care to share your vision with the rest of us?” Toren’s tone indicated an interest in this nugget of information.
“I didn’t see anything. Sometimes it’s more of a feeling.”
“A feeling?”
Again, what I felt like doing was hitting him, but instead I looked out the window and took a deep breath, using my last reserve of patience to answer him through gritted teeth.
“Yes.”
“And her gut instinct has almost always been right,” Arie said as he reached across and gave my knee a squeeze.
I smiled in thanks, glad to have Arie come to my defense.
“Let’s hope she’s right this time around,” Toren said, but now there wasn’t an ounce of insult in his voice.
No, unless I was imagining the whole thing, it sounded like he was just as concerned for Arie as I was. I didn’t understand Toren at all. He’d mock you and tease you, then turn around and respond to the gravity of the situation like you’d expect any reasonable, sane person to do. If I didn’t think that Toren would’ve taken it the wrong way or that Arie would be jealous I’d have said something, because the edge to his voice spoke volumes about how he really felt about his brother. I bit my lower lip as Arie pulled up in front of Rue’s Attic.
We fell out of the car and the bell chimed as we entered her shop. The earthy vibe of the thrift and goddess tradition store made me feel at ease. Grounded. Toren huffed behind me.
“You mean to tell me that a witch hangs out here. Could you get any more obvious?” Toren asked.
“Well you weren’t expecting to find a little old lady with green skin flying around on a broomstick, were you?” I asked as I turned in his direction. “Real magic hides, and most people look past it every day.”
Toren grinned. “Wrong again, darlin’. I’m looking right at you.”
I found him exasperating, but somehow sexy in a way that made me uncomfortable. I’d never been a bad-boy type of girl. Well, I suppose that wasn’t entirely true. I was head over heels for my hot vampire boyfriend. It didn’t escape me that whatever I felt for Toren couldn’t be good, or even worth acknowledging. He continued to grin and look sexy at the same time. I crossed my arms as I frowned back at him.
Arie sighed. “Do you ever stop flirting?”
“Sorry.” But he didn’t sound sorry. “I can’t help myself sometimes.”
“Try,” Arie said. “If you were paying attention instead of pestering my girlfriend, then you’d realize how perfect it is. Rue hides in plain sight just like we do.”
“Come on,” I said, as I grabbed Arie’s hand and pulled him down the center aisle to the glass case where the register sat. Rue’s part-time employee was looking bored as usual, and it occurred to me that in all the times I’d been here I’d never caught her name.
“Hey, is Rue here?” I asked. “Sorry, I’ve never really introduced myself. I’m Holly.”
“I’m Jen. I know who you are. Rue’s doing a reading right now, but you can wait if you want.” She shrugged.
I nodded. We all stood around the register, the pungent smell of incense wafting through the air.
Toren leaned against the case. “Hey, Jen. I dig the necklace.”
But he was really checking out her cleavage where the necklace dangled. Arie groaned and I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. He really did hit on everyone. It wasn’t just some infatuation with me because I looked like Katarina. Somehow I found that mildly comforting. If that was just the way he was, he’d get bored and move on if I ignored him long enough. Working at the Coffee Grind had taught me to ignore cheap tips and the men who left them, insisting on hitting
on me while showing me how stingy they were at the same time.
Jen met his eyes, which still weren’t focused on her face. “And I don’t dig vampires,” she said, dropping her voice as she looked toward the bookshelves across the store where a customer was flipping through a book about astrology.
Toren shrugged. “I wasn’t asking you out. You have the most magnificent vein that runs right across your right breast and I really want to tap that.”
Right when it looked like Arie was about to throttle him and Jen was going to say something, Rue stepped through the beaded curtain that led to the back, along with a person I assumed was the customer she’d been doing a reading for.
“Here, drink this before you go to bed,” Rue said, and handed the woman what looked like tea.
The woman smiled. “Thanks,” she said before she turned to walk away.
“Holly, it’s so good to see you.” Rue pulled me into a tight hug. Then she looked Toren up and down. “And who is this impertinent young man who’s been giving Jen a hard time.”
I knew better than to question how Rue could have even known that. She’d taught me to believe what you couldn’t see and question the things that you thought you knew. Your eyes have a way of tricking you into seeing only what you want to believe.
“Toren.”
“Well, I assure you, Toren…you’ve come to the right place if you want to help your brother,” Rue said.
Toren smirked.
“How did you know?” he asked.
“I had a dream about all of you last night and I’ve been waiting for you all morning. Took your good sweet time with breakfast,” Rue said. “Follow me and I’ll have Holly gather what I need to do a divination.”
Toren grinned. “I think I’m going to like you.”
Rue muttered something sounded like it remained to be seen whether she’d like him or not as we followed her through the beaded curtain to the back of the store. I just hoped that her divination would bring us some good news, because we could have used it at a time when I was stuck dealing with Toren in order to help the one I loved hold on to his memories and hold on to me.
Chapter 4
We trooped to the back of the store and Rue sat at the round table covered in satin where she usually did her readings. A deck of tarot cards rested on its surface. I expected her to pick it up, but instead she turned toward me.
