by Julia Derek
I shook my head. “Not really. I did when I was a kid, but as I got older, I wanted to be like all the other kids—all American—so I refused talking any more Russian with my mother.”
“How about to your father?”
I blinked. “My father left us right after we got to America, when I was five. Haven’t seen him since.”
“Oh. That’s too bad.” Dylan cleared his voice. “Well, it would have been cool to be able to talk Russian. Russia is a fascinating country. I’d love to go there sometime.”
“I can’t say I do.” I smiled. “America’s so much better.” A moment of silence followed during which we got lost into each other’s eyes. I could hardly believe how comfortable he made me feel, how much I actually liked him, the way his voice sounded, gentle yet so manly. Was this the same guy I went out with the last time? It almost didn’t feel like it.
“Are your parents pure Americans?” I said.
He laughed. “You mean are they native Indians? Aren’t those the only pure Americans these days?”
“I guess that’s true.”
“My grandparents on both my mother’s and my father’s side came from England. There might be some Dutch in there as well, but mostly we’re all Brits.”
“Is your father a lawyer like you?”
“Yes. Well, he was.”
“He changed profession? Being a lawyer bored him to death? I can imagine doing that kind of work would be a real killer!” I grinned at him, pleased with my little joke.
Dylan smiled a little. “That might actually have been why. Cancer is often due to stress.”
My mouth flew up to cover my mouth as I realized what I had done. How could I not have at least suspected what he’d meant? In hindsight, it had been pretty obvious. “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. That was really tasteless of me.”
“No worries. He died a long time ago. I’ve dealt with it already. Talking about it or even joking about it doesn’t bother me any longer.”
A hostess came to tell us our table was ready. We followed the black girl to a table in a corner on which a single candle was lit. I was grateful that Dylan was walking behind me and not able to see my face, which flamed with embarrassment.
By the time we were sitting down most of the blood had left my cheeks.
Dylan
I snuck peeks at Nina while we were both studying the menu. The soft candle light made her skin glow and her hazel eyes glitter invitingly. I liked the way she had put her long hair in a loose bundle on her head and imagined the silky tresses tumbling down over her shoulders later, when we were done with dinner. If she was willing to go home with me again, that was. Maybe she wouldn’t feel like it. She seemed a lot softer tonight, not as mischievous. Certainly not as belligerent, which I liked. I was determined to end this date on a whole other note than our first one. So, if she didn’t give me signs that she felt like repeating what we had done that night, I wouldn’t press the issue, just thank her for letting me take her out and then leave. The way my groin currently pulsed with lust, this would not be easy, but I’d find a way to do it.
She suddenly met my gaze. The flash of hunger I spotted in her eyes, the same kind I was experiencing, told me I had nothing to worry about. Not all things had changed between us… I relaxed, allowing the feeling of wanting to have sex—hot, animal-like sex—to spread in my stomach.
I wondered when the best time would be to bring up what had made her dash out of my apartment. Probably not until the end of dinner. Or maybe I should wait until she brought it up herself. Maybe it had to do with something that embarrassed her and she wanted to forget it had ever happened. Yes, she needed to bring it up in order for us to talk about it.
She never brought it up. By the time dinner was over, I’d forgotten about it. As we walked to get our cars, she surprised me by taking my hand. I smiled at her and we walked in silence to where her car was parked. She fished for her keys, but before she could find them, she looked up at me.
“Will you come home with me? My roommate’s gone.”
I cupped her head and bent down to kiss her first softly, then deeper, with more hunger, caressing her tongue with mine. I felt her melt into me. When I pulled away several seconds later, she was gasping, looking pleased. I looked deep into her dark eyes, pleased myself with her strong reaction to my kiss.
“Do you think that’s a yes or a no?” I said.
Discreetly, she reached toward my crotch and felt me on the outside of my pants. Her unexpected move made me harder than I had already become from kissing her.
She gave a little smile, then bit her lower lip. “Definitely a yes. A big yes…”
“That’s right. And you better get in that car right now or I might not be able to control myself around you any longer.” At the sight of the playful streak that had lit up her eyes, I added, pretty sure she’d like it, “I’d hate to have to violate you out here in the public eye. Well, part of me kind of likes that idea…”
She giggled, found her car keys, and slipped into the driver’s seat. After getting her address, I walked as fast as I could to my own car. Shortly thereafter, we were driving toward her place in West L.A., both going far above the allowed speed limit.
We had barely reached her apartment before we were all over each other, kissing and tearing off each other’s clothes. Somehow, we managed to work our way into Nina’s bedroom where we collapsed on her bed.
I began tracing her neck down to her chest with kisses, mumbling, “God, I’ve missed you, Nina. You don’t know how much I’ve been thinking of you. I never thought I’d see you again.” I squeezed her large breasts together, contemplating her where she lay before me on her back. “You’re so fucking sexy.” I bent down to suck her nipples, make them harder, bigger. I ran a hand down her stomach, toward her erotic center and found it already wet, receptive to my probing fingers that I’d slipped under her panties. She gasped as two of my fingers entered her. She grabbed my upper arms and looked deep into my eyes.
“I need you to fuck me now, Dylan. Right now.”
I reached for my pants and found a condom that I rolled on. Then I pulled her legs wide apart and entered her slowly, very slowly, watching her as she was squirming with pleasure under me.
“Oh, yes, Dylan,” she murmured. “That feels so good. So fucking good…”
It was only with the sheerest amount of willpower that I managed not to come as I finally entered her fully. I began to thrust into her hot, wet tightness, going faster and faster, harder and harder until she arched her back and screamed my name out loud. Soon after, I came myself, my only regret the fact that I didn’t connect with Nina by looking into her eyes as all the tension left my body; she still kept hers closed. Only when it was over did she look at me, rewarding me with a gorgeous, lazy smile.
“Wow, that was great… I think I passed out there for a few seconds. Literally.”
“I know.” I bent down to kiss her. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Nina
Rays of sunlight finding their way behind the purple shade in my small bedroom woke me. My entire body ached in the most delicious way. I stretched and yawned, then rolled over and found Dylan lying on his side, already awake, watching me.
“Well, hello there, handsome,” I mumbled, pleased to find that he had stayed and lay so close to me in all his naked glory. There were worse sights to wake up to.
He smiled and removed a tress of hair that was finding its way into my eyes.
“You’re so cute,” he said. “I’ve been lying watching you here for the last ten minutes. Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”
My mouth dropped open. “No! What did I say? Anything I should be embarrassed about?”
“You told me you love me.”
I laughed. “Yeah, right I did. What did I really say?”
“I really couldn’t tell. You were talking gibberish. Or maybe it was Russian.”
“Hmm.” I smiled at him, feeling playful. “Maybe I was saying I loved th
e way you fucked me yesterday…”
He put a finger on my lips. “You mean the way I made love to you yesterday.”
“Same shit.”
He pulled me into his strong arms and whispered into my ear, “No, it’s not. It’s way different. I’ll only make love to you from now on.”
I twisted around so that I ended up facing him. “From now on? What makes you think there will be a repeat of this night?”
He smiled, but more with his beautiful turquoise eyes than with his lips. “Because you know you want it as much as I do.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Absolutely.” Slowly, slowly, he traced my lips with his index finger, holding my gaze all the while. The simple act had me captivated. Then he bent down and parted my lips with his tongue, finding mine. He touched it only lightly, teasingly. Gently, but with determination and utter precision. I felt myself get so hot I couldn’t stop myself from moaning.
He pulled away and laughed softly. “You like that, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I gasped.
“Good. Well, I think you’re gonna like this even more…” He slipped down my body, tracing it with kisses until he was between my legs. Spreading them apart, he began licking me expertly until I came hard in a toe-curling release, moaning his name. Allowing myself to catch my breath a few seconds, I grabbed his head and pulled him back up.
“God, that was good,” I said and kissed his mouth, tasting myself. “Who taught you that?”
He grinned, a devilish glint in his eyes. “You don’t wanna know.”
Rolling out of my bed, he got to his feet and walked out into my living room. When he didn’t come back after I heard him go to the bathroom, I called, “What are you doing?”
“Looking for my clothes. As much as I want to stay with you here all day, unfortunately, I have to leave.”
I threw a glance at my alarm clock. “But it’s only eight. You have an early morning meeting?”
“Yes. Pretty much every damn morning.”
“Wow, that sucks. The lawyers I’ve known can come in pretty much when they feel like coming in, it seems like.”
“Not at my office. But eventually I’ll become partner and then my workload’ll ease up.”
“Let’s hope that’s soon,” I said and yawned. “Like tomorrow…”
“Yeah. Not likely unfortunately.” There was a pause. “Hey, who’s the girl on the photo with you? The one with the curly, brown hair you’re hugging. She looks so familiar to me.”
And just like that, all the playfulness that had been filling me was gone. It was with the utmost effort that I managed to make my voice sound light like before. “That’s Hannah. My best friend when I went to school.”
“Oh. You guys still friends?”
“No. She’s dead.” Saying those words still made my stomach feel like it was full of ice, exactly like the day Hannah died. I realized then that I hadn’t said them in a long time. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for Dylan to leave, this guy who was treating me so well. I didn’t deserve this kind of treatment from him—or anyone else for that matter.
“Oh,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”
I cleared my voice. “It’s okay. She died a long time ago. Like your dad. So you have a busy day then? I have so much to do today! I really should be getting up.”
I cast the covers aside and sat up.
Dylan appeared in my doorway, fully dressed now. He gazed at me appreciatively. “You’re so damn beautiful…” Smiling, he came over to my bed where he sat beside me and caressed my cheek with his fingertips. “When can I see you again?”
I returned his smile, even though the last thing I felt like doing right then was smile. I was not beautiful at all. Hannah had been truly beautiful. But I was in no mood to discuss this; sooner or later, Dylan would realize this for himself anyway. Meanwhile, I might as well enjoy myself. I opened my mouth to suggest Saturday for our next date. No words came out.
Dylan
“Nina?” I said. “Are you okay?”
Nina cleared her voice. The smile on her face died. “Um, yeah. I’m just feeling a little funny. Dizzy.”
She stared into the distance for a moment. Then she wrapped a sheet around herself and stood up. “God, I’m so thirsty. Do you want something to drink before you leave?”
She started walking toward the living room.
“Sure, I’ll have some water,” I said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
She threw a glance over her shoulder as she walked out of the bedroom. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just need some liquids in my body.”
I stood up as well and walked into Nina’s cluttered, colorful living room again, just in time to see Nina disappear into what looked like a little kitchen. Dozens of strings of tiny glass pearls covered its small vaulted entryway.
While I waited for her to return, I took a closer look at my surroundings. Nina’s living room was filled with the most random furniture, all of them fitting together in an odd way. The bookshelves and brightly colored side tables must be from IKEA. The large wheel-shaped coffee table, the arm chair and the rug looked more expensive. The green velvet couch in the middle of the room with is curved back and wooden details seemed to be antique, just like the crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling, but were probably good replicas only. A black cat lounged along the back of the couch now, watching me with sharp golden eyes. I realized the way Nina had decorated the place reminded me of her, hip and edgy yet classic, in your face yet cool and mysterious. A surprisingly attractive oxymoron.
I walked up to the side tables that held all the photos, some of which contained Nina with different people. My eyes went to the one with the young girl I thought I’d recognized, the girl with the shock of brown curls beside a younger Nina. Both of them were smiling big, their arms around each other. I contemplated the girl. Yes, I had definitely seen her before somewhere. She had the kind of face you remembered, not quite pretty, but certainly not ugly. It was just… distinct.
The cat jumped down from the couch back and landed right in front of me. It sidled up to me, rubbing itself against my legs. I bent down to stroke its back, an action that immediately turned on the cat’s pleasure engine.
Nina came into the living room with two glasses of water in her hands. “Wow, he really likes you!” she said, looking surprised. “Sam’s not too fond of people in general. The only ones he allows touching him are me and Lorna.” She paused. “Lorna’s my roommate. You must have been a cat or something in your previous life.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I laughed. I wasn’t too fond of cats either, but I kind of liked this cat. It seemed more like a little friendly dog than a cat to me. I scratched its neck and the purring got louder.
“Here,” Nina said and handed me a glass.
“Thanks.” I emptied half of its contents. I had been thirstier than I’d thought. Nina only sipped on her water, smiling at me.
I looked her deep in the eyes. She seemed like she was feeling better now. I cupped her head with my free hand and kissed her lightly on the mouth.
“So when can I see you again?” I murmured into her ear.
“How about Saturday? I’m not working and I have no shows that night.”
“It’s a deal.”
Nina
“How did it go?” Ricki said in my ear. I had called her up as soon as Dylan had left. She was in her car, on her way to work.
“Well, he just left, so I guess it went well.”
“You guess? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It did go well. From the moment I saw him at the restaurant yesterday till I woke up this morning with him beside me I was feeling great. But then he saw the photo of me and Hannah in my living room and started asking about her.”
“What did he want to know?”
“Who she was and why she seemed so familiar.”
“And what did you tell him?”
My stomach twisted and I had to push the words out of my mouth. “That she used to be my
best friend in high school and that she’s dead.”
“Okay. And why did he think she seemed so familiar?”
“Not sure. But it’s not so strange. Most people saw photos of her in the papers.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I sure remember seeing them.”
“Exactly. Fortunately, he didn’t push the issue. I definitely don’t feel like talking about Hannah with him. I—-” My throat closed and my eyes filled with tears then. Soon, they were streaming down my cheeks in hot rivulets.
“Nina? Are you crying?”
I sobbed quietly into the phone, unable to answer.
“Nina.” Ricki’s voice was gentle. “You really have to see someone about what happened in school. It’s obvious that you need it. Can’t you see that?”
I dried my tears with my fingertips and the tightness in my throat loosened. “No, I’ll be fine. I just miss Hannah and I haven’t thought about her in a long time, that’s all.”
“That’s not all, Nina. I know that’s not all.”
“I’ll be fine.” Unlike Ricki, whose mother was a psychiatrist, I did not believe in therapy. Therapy was only for weak people and I was not a weak person. Definitely not a weak person. “You were right that it was a good idea for me to see Dylan again. Thanks for pushing me to do it. I’m seeing him again this Saturday. Hey, maybe I’ll end up marrying him!”
I let out a giggle that didn’t sound genuine even to my own ears.
“I hope you do, Nina. I really hope it’ll work out great between you two. He seems like a good guy.”
“Yeah, you’re right about that. He does seem like a good guy.”
Dylan
The following evening I walked into a restaurant in Beverly Hills and told the hostess with the bluntly cut bob that I was there for dinner. The reservation was under the name “Whitman;” most likely, everyone else in my party had arrived already.
