"Right up until you blew my cover, you mean?"
He shrugged noncommittally, as if to say, Who me?
She's a hack," I muttered. Then what the hell does that make you?"
"A has-been, evidently." I brushed back my hair and sighed.
He stood and grabbed his coat and gun off the kitchen counter. "You want a pity party, you can have it by yourself."
"I'm not… this isn't… I'm not looking for your pity."
"Good. 'Cause you're not getting any. If you're a has-been it's your own damn fault."
"Where are you going?"
"Guard duty. If I see any gutted rabbits I'll let you know."
Bang, he slammed the front door behind him and that was that.
I let out a frustrated growl, grabbed the blanket, and cocooned myself on the sofa.
I wasn't a has-been. I wasn't.
Yet.
Chapter 7
I woke, startled, and sat up on the sofa. I hadn't heard anything, nothing specific had jolted me awake, but I felt like someone had slammed a door or fired a gun.
Cormac.
He was asleep in a chair, which he'd pulled over to the living-room window. He'd been keeping watch, just like he'd said. But I never thought he'd fall asleep on guard duty. It just wasn't like him.
Whatever had shocked me awake hadn't affected him. He even snored a little, his chin tipped forward so it almost touched his chest.
Outside, the sky was gray. Light, so it was past dawn, but still overcast, like it was about to snow. I had a queasy, stuffy-headed feeling that told me I hadn't gotten enough sleep.
"Cormac?" I said.
Immediately he sat up and put his hand on the revolver he'd left sitting on my desk. Only after looking around, tensed at the edge of the chair as if waiting for an attack, did he say, "What happened?" He didn't look at me; his attention focused on the window and the door.
"Something woke me up," I said.
"I hadn't meant to fall asleep," he said. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep." His hand clenched on his weapon like it was a security blanket. He didn't pick it up, but I had no doubt he could aim and shoot it in a heartbeat. Speaking of heartbeats, his had sped up. I could hear it, and smell his anxiety. He wasn't used to getting caught off guard. His fear fed mine.
"Something's out there," I whispered.
"You hear something?"
"I don't know." I concentrated, trying yet again to remember what my senses had told me, what exactly had fired my nerves awake.
I smelled blood. It wasn't new blood, fresh blood. It was old, rotten, stinking. And not just a little, but a slaughterhouse's worth. A massive amount, and it was everywhere, as if someone had painted the walls with it. No—no—
Get a grip. Keep it together.
"Do you smell something?" I said, my voice cracking. Of course he didn't. Not like this. How could he?
"I assume you mean something out of the ordinary."
"Blood."
"Are you okay?"
I went to the door. Get out.
My hand on the knob, I squeezed my eyes shut. There wasn't a voice. I hadn't heard anything. I cracked open the door.
The smell washed over me. I'd never sensed anything like it. The odor was hateful, oppressive, like it was attacking me. Could a smell be evil?
"There's something out there," I said. And it hated me. It had left all those signs that it hated me.
"Move over." Cormac, gun raised, displaced me from in front of the door. "Stay back."
I did, holding my clenched hands to my chest. He opened the door a little wider. His gun arm led the way as he stepped out, the weapon ready to face the lurking danger.
Sheltered behind the door, I watched his face. His expression never changed. It stayed cold, stony—his professional look. Then he froze.
"Jesus Christ," he said, his voice filled with something like awe. He didn't lower his weapon.
I slipped out the door to stand next to him on the porch and looked out.
All around the clearing in front of the house, carcasses hung from the lower branches of trees. Skinless—pink and bloody, wet with a sheen of fat and flesh, the dead animals were hung up by their hind legs, so that their front legs and heads dangled. Their teeth—the sharp teeth of carnivores—were bared, and lidless eyes stared. There must have been a dozen of them. They swayed a little on their ropes, ghosts in the dawn light.
I moved forward, like that would help me see better—like I even wanted to see them better—and leaned against the porch railing. They looked alien and terrible, so that I couldn't identify them at first. Four legs, straight naked tails, slim bodies with round rib cages and narrow hips. Heads with narrow snouts and triangular ears.
They were dogs. Some kind of dogs. Canines. Wolflike.
I made a noise like a sob.
I had to get out of here, but I couldn't, not yet, not until I'd gotten Ben through the full moon. But the walls were closing in. And there weren't even walls out here. The dead eyes all stared at me. Get out.
"Kitty?"
"Who hates me this much?" I started crying. Tension, exhaustion, uncertainty—in the space of a few days my whole life had fallen apart, and I didn't know what to do about it. It all just came out.
I stumbled back, away from the mess, and bumped into Cormac. Then I leaned into him. He was close, and I needed a shoulder, so I turned to his. Eyes leaking and nose dripping on his T-shirt, I let it all out, feeling profoundly embarrassed about it even as I did. I didn't care.
He put his arms around me. He held me firmly without squeezing, moving one hand to stroke my hair. For some reason this made me cry harder.
I didn't like being an alpha. For the last couple of days, I'd been pulling out alpha left and right. Now, though, Cormac was willing to take care of me, at least for a little while. I was profoundly grateful.
"We'll figure it out," he said softly. "After tomorrow, we'll work on figuring this out."
Tomorrow. After the full moon. After we got all that sorted out. I held on to him.
Arm around my shoulder, he guided me inside, shut the door, and set his gun on the desk. I stayed close to him. I didn't want him to pull away, and he took the hint. We stood there for a long time; I clung to him, and he kept his arms around me. I felt safer, believing he could actually protect me from the horrors outside.
"You're being very patient with me," I said, murmuring into his T-shirt.
"Hm. It's not every day a woman throws herself into my arms. I have to take advantage of it while I can."
I made a complaining noise. "I didn't throw myself into your arms."
"Whatever you say."
I chuckled in spite of myself. When I tilted my head back, I saw he was smiling.
"You'd better be careful," I said. "You're getting to be downright likable."
I could kiss him. Another two inches closer—standing on my toes—and I could kiss him. His hand shifted on my back, flattening like he was getting ready to hold me steady, like he wanted to kiss me, too. Then the hand moved away. He touched my cheek, smoothed away the tears. He pulled back.
"I'll start some coffee," he said, and went to the kitchen.
Part of me was relieved. All of me was confused. I covered up the confusion with my usual lame bravado. "There, you're doing it again. Being nice."
He ignored me. Cormac, back to normal.
We discussed the situation at the kitchen table over cups of fresh coffee.
"Whoever's doing this doesn't want to kill me," I said.
"But that's some pretty twisted stuff out there. It's all aimed at you, and it's escalating."
"What's next, if I don't listen to it now?"
"Listen to it? What's it saying?"
"Leave. Get out of here. Someone doesn't want me to be here. You'd think they could just write a note."
"Just because they haven't tried to kill you yet doesn't mean they won't. If you don't leave, and if they get desperate enough."
&nb
sp; "Could it be that simple? They just want me to leave town?"
"That probably means it's somebody local," he said. "Shouldn't be too hard to track down somebody local who practices that sort of voodoo."
Ah, the charm of the small town. Everybody knew everybody. We just had to find out which ones were the squirrelly ones. Besides, you know, everybody.
I smiled grimly. "I think I'll give the sheriff a call. Have him clean up that mess."
Sheriff Marks was not happy. In a really big way, he was not happy. He only gave the hanging carcasses a cursory glance, wearing a stone-faced tough-guy expression to prove he wasn't grossed out or unduly disturbed.
I sat on the porch steps and watched him survey the clearing—this involved standing in the middle of it, circling, and nodding sagely. He didn't even bring along Deputy Rosco—I mean Ted—to take pictures of my car this time.
Cormac stood nearby, leaning on the railing. Lurking.
I ventured to speak. "We think it might be somebody local trying to scare me off."
Marks turned to me, his frown quivering. "How do I know you didn't do this? That this isn't some practical joke you're playing on me?"
I glared back in shock. "Because I wouldn't do something like this."
"What about him?" He nodded at Cormac. "What did you say your name was?"
"I didn't," Cormac said, and didn't offer.
Marks moved toward him, hands on hips. "Can I see some ID, sir?"
"No," Cormac said. I groaned under my breath.
"Is that so?" Marks said, his attention entirely drawn away from the slaughter around us.
Cormac said, "Unless you're planning to write me a ticket or arrest me for something, I don't have to show you anything."
Marks was actually starting to turn red. I had no doubt he could come up with something—harassing a police officer, loitering with intent to insult—to pin on Cormac, just out of spite.
I stepped between them, distracting them. "Um, could we get back to the dead animals?"
Marks said, "If I'm right, I could have you up on a number of cruelty to animal charges."
"Should I call my lawyer?" My lawyer who was inside, asleep, recovering from a werewolf bite. "Recovering" was my optimism talking.
"I'm just giving you an out, Ms. Norville. A chance to 'fess up."
"I didn't do it."
"I'm still looking for the hidden cameras," he said, peering into the trees.
"Oh, give me a break!"
He jabbed his finger in my direction. "If you think being famous keeps you safe, lets you do whatever the hell you want, you're wrong."
If I'd thought this situation couldn't get any worse, I was obviously mistaken.
"Sheriff, I'm being harassed, and if you're not going to help me, just say it so I can find somebody who will."
"Good luck with that." He started back for his car.
"Hell, I could do a better job than this clown," Cormac said. "At least I can admit when I'm in over my head."
He didn't even try to say it softly, so Marks couldn't hear. No—he raised his voice, so Marks couldn't help but hear.
Marks turned around, glaring. "What did you say?"
Cormac scuffed his boot on the porch and pretended he hadn't heard.
"You'd better watch yourself," Marks said, pointing. "You so much as breathe wrong and I'll get you."
The hunter remained slouching against the railing, as unflappable as ever. He wasn't going to be the one to shoot first in a fight. I wasn't sure Marks knew that.
Marks started back to his car.
"Sheriff, what do I do about them?" I pointed at the dogs. Some of them were swaying gently, as the trees they were tied to creaked in a faint breeze. A garbage bag or a quickly dug hole wasn't going to clean this up.
"Call animal control," he said. The sound of his car door slamming echoed.
I fumed, unable to come up with a word angry enough for what I wanted to hurl after him.
Hearing steps in the house, I turned around. Ben emerged, standing just outside the doorway and staring out. "Holy shit, what's this?"
"Curse," I said.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"I don't suppose anyone's up for breakfast," Cormac said.
"Are you joking?" I said. He smiled. My God, he was joking.
"You two go inside. I'll take care of this."
"Sure you don't need help?" Ben said.
"I'm sure."
Ben hesitated, like he needed convincing. I pulled his arm, guided him inside. He said, "Does this sort of thing happen to you a lot?"
It was starting to seem like it. "I don't know."
"Is it because you're a werewolf or because you're you?"
Now that was an excellent question. I didn't really want to know the answer.
When my phone rang later that day, I almost screamed, because the noise was like claws on a chalkboard. Mom's call.
Cormac hadn't come back yet from taking care of the mess outside. Ben had gone back to bed. I didn't know if he was sleeping.
I curled up on the sofa. "Hi, Mom."
"Hi, Kitty. Are you okay? You sound a little off."
A little off. Ha. "I'm about the same as the last time we talked. Things could be better, but I'm hanging in there." Hanging. I shouldn't have said that. Didn't want to hear about anything having to do with hanging.
"What's wrong? I wish there was something I could do to help. You'll let me know if there's anything I can do—"
"Thanks, Mom. I can't really think of anything. Unless you know something about blood magic?"
She thought for a couple of beats, and I couldn't guess what kind of expression she had. "No, I really don't."
"That's okay."
"Kitty, tell me the truth, are you all right?"
My eyes teared up. I would not start crying at Mom. If I started I wouldn't stop, and then she'd really worry. And she was right to worry, I supposed. I took a deep breath and kept it together.
"I will be." Somehow… "Things are kind of a mess, but I'm working through it."
"You're sure there isn't anything I can do?"
"I'm sure."
"Are your friends still with you? Are they helping?"
"Yeah, they are." In fact, if Cormac hadn't been here to take care of the dog thing, I might very well have run screaming and never come back.
"Good. I'm glad. You know I worry about you."
"I know, Mom. I appreciate it, I really do." And I did. It was good to have people looking out for you.
"Well… please call me if you need anything, if there's anything I can do. And don't be afraid to come home if you need to. There's no shame in that."
"Thanks, Mom." Couldn't think of anything else to say. Just… thanks.
Chapter 8
Then came the day.
According to the Farmer's Almanac, the full moon in January was known as the Wolf Moon. This was the time of year, the deepest part of winter, when people would huddle together in their homes, build up their fires against the cold, listen to the howling of hungry wolves outside, and pray that they were safe. The cold seeped into people's souls as well as their bodies, and their fears multiplied. Summer and safety seemed farthest away.
Maybe being cursed was really only a state of mind.
I decided that I wasn't going to let Ben die. If I had to tie him up with silver to keep him from hurting himself, I'd do it. If tomorrow came and he still wanted Cormac to kill him, I'd stop him. Somehow, I'd stop Cormac. Hide his guns, fight him, something.
Maybe I could knock Cormac out in a hand-to-hand fight—I was stronger than I looked, and maybe he'd forget that. If Cormac had a gun, though, I'd probably die. At least then they'd know how strongly I felt about the issue.
But I was getting ahead of myself. I had to get through today before I could worry about tomorrow.
I woke up at dawn—still on the sofa—but lay there for a long time, curled up and wishing it were all already over. Wolf knew what day
it was; a coiling, wriggling feeling made itself known in my gut, and it would get stronger and stronger until nightfall, when it would turn to knives and claws, the creature trying to rip its way out of the weak human shell, until finally it burst forth and forced the Change. In the bedroom, Ben was feeling this for the first time. He wouldn't know what to do with it. He'd need help coping.
I'd meant to check on him, but he emerged first and went to the kitchen, where Cormac was already sitting. I wasn't sure Cormac had ever gone to bed. I stayed very still to try to hear what they said, but the cabin remained quiet.
Finally, I sat up and looked into the kitchen.
Ben sat on one chair, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and Cormac sat on the other chair, facing him across the table, arms crossed. They might have been like that for hours, staring at each other.
They'd been best friends since they were kids and now they were wondering if this was their last day together. Had Ben told Cormac about the monster waking up inside him?
I had to break this up. I marched into the kitchen and started making noise, pulling out pots and slamming cabinet doors.
"Who wants eggs?" I forced a Mrs. Cleaver smile, but my tone sounded more strained than cheerful.
They didn't even turn, didn't even flinch. At least it would all be over, after tonight. One way or another.
I cooked bacon and eggs, way more than I needed to, but it distracted me. This was going to be a long, long day.
I didn't notice when the anxiety-laden tableau between Ben and Cormac broke. I heard a noise, and turned to see Cormac getting up, going over to put a fresh log in the stove. Ben bowed his head and stared at the floor.
"Food's ready."
Cormac wandered back to the kitchen table and accepted a plate. The eggs had come out scrambled rather than over easy. I didn't much care. I wanted one of them to sa y something.
He smiled a thin, strained thanks. That was all.
"Ben?" Carefully, I prompted him.
He shook his head. "I can't eat. I hardly ate yesterday and I still feel like I'm going to throw up."
"Yeah. It's usually like that. You get used to it."
He glared at me, his lips almost curling into a snarl. "How? How do you get used to this?"
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