by Hannah Gray
I know Maverick’s mistake will have consequences for me and my relationship with my family. It sucks, but it is what it is.
When I return long after the sun has gone down, there is no sign of Savannah’s presence in my apartment, and as I push the door open to her bedroom, it’s evident that she is gone.
Me, I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life.
Which is pretty crazy, seeing as though I’ve been alone for most of it.
six
Mason
Beginning of Senior Year
I wipe the sweat from my face with my towel as we make our way to the locker room after practice. All of us whining like a bunch of pussies.
“Well, boys, that fucking sucked. Let’s go get drunk,” Lane says and smacks me on the back.
He’s not kidding. It’s the end of August, and it is fucking boiling outside. Coach wants to see our “pansy asses get back into shape.” His words, not mine. So, he’s been running us. Hard. Really fucking hard. I don’t know who’s more of a savage. Coach or Trent. Trent’s our team captain as well as my best friend. But I’ll be real; dude can be a dick. Not that I blame him. He wants to take this team all the way this year. It’s our senior year, and we are hungrier than ever to call ourselves champions. Both of us have a lot to prove.
“If we want to take it all the way this season, we can’t get drunk after every practice that your vagina can’t handle,” Trent grumbles.
He basically eats, breathes, sleeps football. Obviously, he parties his fair share and has as many one-night stands as any of us. But he takes football to a whole other level.
“Oh, come on, Kade. We don’t have practice until four in the afternoon tomorrow. Let’s go blow off some steam at The Atlantic,” Lane practically pouts.
Although, if I’m being honest, tipping back a few cold ones sounds pretty fucking nice right about now.
Trent—being his typical, grouchy Trent self—makes a few annoyed grunting noises before finally muttering, “Fine. But if you fuckers are hungover at practice tomorrow, there will be hell to pay.”
The guys all hoot and holler.
Grady, another one of my teammates, slaps Trent on the back. “Hells yeah, brother! I knew you’d come around.”
Trent’s jaw clenches, and his fists tighten.
Trent runs in a small group. He trusts very few of us. Women want to fuck him, guys want to be him, and the rest of the world respects the hell out of him. I consider myself lucky to play alongside him as his wide receiver and to also be one of his best friends. I’m one of the few he trusts. Same goes for him with me; he’s one of the few people I’ll actually let in on a personal level.
On our way to the bar, while riding with Trent and Lane, I open a text from my father.
Dad: We’d love for you to join us for dinner this week.
I groan to myself. I hate awkward dinners with my dad. Now that my half-brother, Maverick, left to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers, there’s no one else for him to make awkward small talk with. Not like I enjoyed dinners with Maverick any more than I do shoving my dick in a window and slamming it shut, but my dad and I are fucking just straight-up uncomfortable together, and my stepmother will likely be too boozed up to be present in the conversation. Also, getting under my half-brother’s skin and watching him get his balls in a bunch was pretty entertaining. Arrogant fuck.
I reply back, explaining I’ll have to check my schedule but that Coach has us pretty busy right now with practices. Which isn’t a lie. We’ve had two practices a day most days, not including getting our workouts in. It’s a full-time job, playing college football at a place like NEU.
But I’ll admit, I fucking love the rush of it. When the team comes together and makes a power play and the fans are all on their feet, chanting our names, there’s nothing like it. Or getting amped up before a game in the locker room with my boys and when we all head into the stadium together, ready to take on whatever the opposing team throws our way. The fans wearing our jersey numbers, the music filling the stadium, it’s a feeling I can’t even begin to explain. For a while, you feel invincible. You feel like somebody. I’m sure it all sounds cliché. But it’s about unity, it’s about teamwork, it’s about the spirit that NEU brings to each and every single game.
I decided against entering the draft early. It’s always been important to my mom that I get myself a college degree just to fall back on. She knows as well as I do that my end goal is the NFL, but she gave me everything she could for close to twenty-two years, so I can give her this one thing. Besides, Trent decided not to enter the draft early either. He swears it’s because he wants a degree, but part of me thinks he did it to go against his old man’s wishes. His old man is an asshole.
No matter what his reasoning is, we both know that, together, we can take this team all the way this season. Plus, you add a powerhouse like Lane into the mix, and no one should be able to stop us. That is, if Lane can keep his head in the game. Parties, drinking, and women have the ability to distract him pretty well. We all party, and we all sleep with our fair share of chicks, but sometimes, Lane parties too hard. During the off-season, he’ll go on benders. And when he goes off those rails, yeah, he’s a fucking train wreck. But when he’s focused, he’s a goddamn machine. A well-oiled one at that.
I have faith in all of us though. It’s our senior year, and we need to leave with a legacy. And that’s just what I will push to do.
seven
Anna
“So, you’re sure you want to do this?” my hairdresser questions for the third time while glancing down at the picture I brought her and then back up at my long brown locks of hair.
I take a sip of my iced coffee and answer flatly, “Yep. That’s why I’ve told you yes multiple times now.”
Classes start next week, and I’m ready for a fresh start, going into my senior year at NEU. New me, who dis?
Kate’s big blue eyes look down at the picture again, and she nods slowly. “Okay. I’ve just basically given you the same haircut and color since you moved here. This seems, well, drastic. Does this have anything to do with Maverick? I saw he was signed with the Dodgers.”
Though her response isn’t meant as an insult, it immediately pisses me off. I dig my nails into my palms. “This has nothing to do with Maverick. Good freaking God. Can’t a bitch have one thing for herself?” I snap back.
Why I want this change really doesn’t have a damn thing to do with him. I’m sick of pretending to be someone that I’m not. That’s why I moved out of my apartment, moved back on campus in a dorm, and gave my Audi back to my parents. Thankfully, I have a trust fund my grandparents left. I try not to dip into it, but if I want to do this independent-woman thing, I need to have a little money of my own. So, I bought a super-cool white Jeep Wrangler. And now, I am changing my boring, long brown hair to a dark red angled bob. And guess what. I couldn’t be more excited. Make way for the new and improved Anna fucking Eubanks.
“Okay then, let’s do this,” she says before walking off to mix the color.
I smile in the mirror. Here’s to finally being the Anna that I identify myself as. Here’s to finally being … me. Or at least, heading in the direction of finding out who me even is.
Three hours later, I make my way out of the salon with a little more pep in my step. I feel invigorated, alive, and free. My fingernails are painted a deep, dark blue, and my style is casual-edgy. My mother would shit her pants if she saw me. Literally shit her pants. She’d probably show up in her fitted, knee-length, sleeveless dress. Looking stiff and, quite frankly, boring. I have let people mold me into what they think I should be for my entire life. Well, now … now, it’s my turn to figure out who the hell I am. Not who everyone thinks I should be.
eight
Anna
My new roommate, Cameran, is awesome. Though I feel like she is maybe hiding something from me because she is sort of like a skittish kitten, but she’s awesome nonetheless. And talk about gorgeous. Long, wavy
blonde hair and a Cover Girl face, even without makeup on. And she’s, like, the sweetest thing ever.
In the past week, I’ve learned Cameran came here from California, she’s in the teaching program, and homegirl loves pizza. We hit up Antonio’s Pizzeria earlier this week, and tonight, that’s where we chose to eat again. Or she chose, I should say.
My mother’s voice echoes inside my head every time I go somewhere like this and eat junk and carbs. Anna, don’t you know that goes straight to your stomach and thighs? Do you really think you’ll attract the right kind of guy when all that fits you are stretchy pants?
I push the thoughts aside though. I work out multiple times a week. But not really because I am worried about staying in tip-top shape, but because it’s an outlet for me. I enjoy it. I suppose I do eat fairly healthy—for the most part. It’s been instilled in me for so long to count calories and look at labels. But I’m more relaxed about that stuff now that I’ve put some space between my family and me.
“How has your first week of classes been?” Cameran asks in between massive bites of her pizza.
I shrug. “Not bad. I mean, there are some cool art classes I’m taking for graphic design that I’m so excited about. But then there’s the required classes that I can tell are going to suck balls. Ya know?”
She begins to answer when, suddenly, Trent Kade—NEU’s very own football god—appears out of nowhere. He sort of saved Cameran from a pretty scary situation at a party last weekend. Some frat guy had gotten really handsy with her, and Trent had put an end to it real fast.
What takes me by surprise is Mason King. Which, in reality, it shouldn’t surprise me because Trent and Mason are best friends and teammates. Pretty sure they even live together. But I haven’t seen Mason since I was dating his brother. Come to think of it, the last time I saw Mason, my tits were on display in a hot tub. Good times. At least he called them perfect though.
I’m not sure he even recognizes me. I mean, I look different. My hair’s different, and my clothes are different. Hell, I’m even different. He looks the same though. Possibly even better. His dark hair has a black baseball cap pulled down over it, and his gray T-shirt is just snug enough that it jogs my memory of how sculpted his body is. It’s not too tight that he looks like a frat boy. That crooked smirk never ceases to light my lady parts on fire either. It’s like a Greek god’s but one that has the most charismatic, charming, yet goofy grin.
Once I snap out of ogling Mason, I realize that Trent Kade is trying to convince Cam to be his friend. Trent Kade doesn’t do shit like this. The campus knows that. He’s a fuckboy. Except a serious, sort of asshole fuckboy. Mason’s also a fuckboy with a capital F, but at least he’s funny.
I tip my chin at Trent. “Hey, this girl is my best friend, so find your own.”
In true Mason King form, he fires an obnoxious comment, “Best friends get to see each other naked. So, what do you say, Red? Want to be best friends for a few hours?”
I roll my eyes. “That sounds like I would rather slide down sandpaper with no panties on.”
But if I’m being honest with myself, he’s a beautiful specimen of a man. And I haven’t been laid in … well, too long. So, the idea doesn’t sound half-bad. But I’ll be damned if I let him know that.
“You want to come over for a bit and watch a movie then? We’ll be supervised, so I won’t be able to seduce you. Though,” he says, signaling a hand down his face and body, “I’m sure you’ll be trying to seduce me, sweetheart.”
“Vomit. Hard pass,” I quip back.
“Mason’s just kidding. He thinks he’s a hotshot. I promise he’ll leave you alone if you guys come over for a few hours,” Trent says, seeming to be surprised by his own words.
He must be really into Cam. Not that I can blame him. She’s incredible.
I glance at Cameran. “Up to you. After the last party and what you dealt with, this is your call.” I feel bad that I basically forced her to go to a party last weekend, and then she almost got sexually assaulted.
After nearly chewing off her own lip while deliberating on this decision, she decides that she wants us to go over there and watch a movie. Welp, this night just got more interesting.
Keep it together, Anna. Mason King’s ego is big enough without you giving away the fact that you feel like every cell in your body is on fire when he’s near.
Mason
I can’t believe Anna is here. Sitting next to me on this couch. My hand’s resting on her thigh, and it’s … comfortable. Except all I can think about is inching it up higher and brushing my fingers across whatever panties she’s wearing under that skirt. Just thinking about it makes my dick strain against my jeans.
The thing is, I’ve seen her entire body naked before. And it was phenomenal. Her tits, perfect-shaped. Her ass—holy fuck, I’d love to have her bent over with a better view of it right now.
I’ve always wondered what happened between her and Maverick. I honestly never understood what she saw in him anyway. Dude’s a douche bag. She seemed different back then. More reserved. She didn’t even seem comfortable in her own skin. Now though? She’s fucking owning who she is and serving it on a silver platter. A platter I’d love to take a fucking bite off of.
Jesus Christ, she smells so good. Like warm vanilla or some shit. I can see her chest rise and fall out of the corner of my eye. It’s taking every ounce of my self-control not to just take her upstairs and fuck her until the sun comes up. I think she’d be for it. She banters back and forth, but I know it’s all fun and games. No way does she hate me that much.
I take a leap of faith and rub my thumb up and down against her thigh. She doesn’t slap me, so I continue. The bad part is, it’s only making my jeans more uncomfortable, the more I touch her silky skin.
I’m about to dare myself to go a little higher, and that’s when the movie ends. I wasn’t even paying attention to know it was close to ending.
Trent’s girl is sound asleep against him on the couch. It’s so weird, seeing him like this. I can say I’ve never seen him act this way with anyone.
We almost have Anna convinced to stay the night—for her friend’s sake, of course. Because what friend would want to wake her best friend up? But unfortunately for me and my very hard dick, the blonde’s phone rings, waking her up and ruining any plans I had of having Anna naked in my bed. It’s just as well. Maverick dumped her. He’d never let me live down having his seconds.
The girls get ready to leave, and Anna gives me what might be the world’s most awkward hug. But I also manage to get her number, and I call that a score.
Once they are out the door and in Anna’s Jeep, Trent looks at me, his eyes narrowed and a smile on his face. “Well, wasn’t that cozy, you all cuddled up with Red?”
I roll my eyes. “Says the guy who just had Blondie curled up on you like you were a pillow. Quite the teddy bear these days, eh, Kade?”
He grunts something and takes off up the stairs. And I head to my bedroom to take a shower. A very long shower. Though I wish a certain redhead were headed into the shower with me.
Guess my imagination will have to do.
nine
Mason
Our first win of the season was today, and it felt fucking awesome. Every single one of us feels like a king. Even though we know the season has only just begun, it’s hard not to let a win go to our heads sometimes. We walk off that field, feeling like we’re the fucking shit. I can’t even lie about it and try to sound humble.
After I jump out of the shower and throw my clothes on, I shoot Red a text. I was a little bummed she couldn’t see our game today. But she had to meet her sister or something, so I get it.
Me: Your sexy ass coming to the party?
Anna: Negative, ghost rider.
I frown at my phone. What else could she be doing? Before I type a reply, another message comes through.
Anna: Joking. Don’t cry a river and drown in it. We will be there.
Me: Me crying? I kn
ew you couldn’t resist coming and seeing me, babe. But nice try.
She sends me back an eye-roll emoji, followed by a middle finger. I like a girl who can joke around. Although I have to say, I called her Red the other day, and she punched me—hard. Right in my fucking sack. I almost cried. So, I’ve done my best to call her Anna in front of her. She’s stronger than she looks, and I don’t really want permanently damaged balls.
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. I know I’m not looking for a relationship or anything like that. Besides, she was my tool-bag half-brother’s girl first. It drives me fucking insane that he already knows what it feels like to sink inside of her. Something I have yet to feel. And if I know what’s good for me, I’ll never know what it feels like. One taste, and I’d be hooked like a fiend in need of his favorite drug. I just know it.
If I’m being completely truthful with myself, at the risk of sounding like a big pussy, the thought of this chick hooking up with anyone who isn’t me irks me. I don’t really get it though. It isn’t like we have some long, complicated history. We knew each other through Maverick. I saw her perfect, naked body, which was like some fucking rare, magical unicorn. But that’s it. We haven’t fucked. Hell, we haven’t even kissed. Nothing. So, I have no idea what my pull is toward her. But it’s getting pretty hard to ignore.
I am enjoying having her as a friend though. I mean, she’s dope as hell to hang out with. She’s funny, chill, a bit crude at times. She is basically like one of the guys but with perfect tits and a sexy-as-sin face—oh, and a hot little body to top it all off.
