Beautifully Broken (The Beautiful series Book 1)

by Tara Lee

  “You always were a little cocky.” She tries to hide the fact that her smile is growing.

  “Baby bird, I still have no idea what you're talking about, because as far as I know, I am one ugly sonuvabitch that landed the most gorgeous woman on the earth. And I let her go two years ago but I won’t let that happen again.” I know I’m pushing the matter, but fuck it, she needs to know where I stand, and it’s firmly next to her.

  “Ethan.”

  Her voice is a warning, but I just smile and stand. I need to get going. As much as I want to stay and hold her all night, I know she has to work.

  “A-are you leaving?” She stands with me.

  I nod and wrap her in my arms. I need to leave before I either say something that will land me in deep shit with her or confess all my fuck ups and plead and beg with her to take me back.

  “It’s probably best. Luna, you need to get ready for work, and I know if I stay any longer. I’m just going to beg you to give us a second chance.”

  She goes to say something but I stop her by continuing.

  “I know your not ready, but I won’t stop loving you, Luna, not now, not ever, not for fucking ever.” I place a soft kiss on her cheek and make my way to the door. I take one look back at her, and my heart drops. I know it’s going to take time; time will heal all things, but Luna may never want to give me that second chance. I just hope I truly haven’t fucked everything up. Our story was only just beginning, we may have been broken, but together we were unstoppable. Her eyes hold mine, and fuck it, I can’t will my legs to start moving. I turn back around and sit back down. “Maybe I can stay a little longer.”

  She smiles and slides back to her spot next to me.

  “So anything new with you?” I ask as I make an attempt to get rid of the awkward tension between us.

  She swallows. “Um, no, nothing new.”

  I can see it in her eyes, she has her secrets and since I have mine, I’ll let her keep them for now. But one day she will tell me, just like I plan on telling her mine.

  “So your body is covered in tats now?” It’s a question, but she knows the answer even before I open my mouth.

  “Yeah, apart from my face.” I chuckle.

  She nods slowly, deep in thought.

  “I got some piercings, too.” I say.

  “Oh, you do? Where?” Her face lights up.

  I chuckle again.

  “Here.” I lift my shirt to reveal my nipple piercing.

  She can’t help but reach out and touch it. Her fingers feel good, and I hold back the groan that wants to burst free. She plays with the bar as my nipple hardens under her touch. She finally realizes what she is doing and drops her hand.

  She swallows, and her cheeks turn a slight pink shade. Yeah I’m turned on too, baby.

  “And the other?” She swallows again as she bites her bottom lip.

  “That one is in a more special place.” I raise my eyebrows and wiggle them.

  Her eyes widen, and her mouth drops open in shock.

  “You mean it’s...?” She eyes my crotch.

  “Yep, I have my di—”

  She slaps her hand over my mouth, stopping me from saying the last two words of that sentence.

  “You did not?”

  I chuckle some more.

  “I can show you if you want, baby bird.” I go to yank my trousers down, fisting the cotton of my boxers ready to show her.

  But her hand flies out and stops me.

  “No, I mean, I want to, but you shouldn’t.” I can see the curiosity in her eyes. She wants to see my dick piercing but at the same time she knows she shouldn’t.

  “Okay, maybe when you're naked and under me I’ll let you steal a peek.” I wink at her playfully, but she knows I will show her, and I plan on showing her how good it feels.

  Once Ethan closes the door to my apartment, I sit back on the couch, biting my bottom lip, deep in thought. What just happened? Was he flirting? Who am I kidding, of course he was flirting. Wait, does he really have his dick pierced? He’s joking, right? I mean wouldn’t that be painful? Or how would that feel during sex?

  My mind is plagued with questions. I don’t even realize how long I’ve been sitting there until Callie comes in and startles me.

  “Hey aren’t you due at work soon?”

  I snap my head toward her. She's carrying her backpack and a stack of books. I pick up my phone to check the time. Crap, I’m going to be late.

  “Oh, shit.” I jump up, run past her, and race towards my room to get changed. No time for a shower, that will have to wait until I get home.

  I’m slipping on my shoes when Callie walks in.

  “Okay, spill missy?” She leans against the door.

  “No time.” I grab my purse and walk past her to grab my phone from the couch.

  “Bye, love you,” I yell out as I open the door.

  “Don’t think you’ve avoided telling me what had you so deep in thought,” she yells after me.

  She knows me all too well, and I won’t even have to tell her Ethan is involved in my thoughts because she will just know.

  Work goes by in a blur. I don’t realize how out of it I am until I spill a tray of drinks over a table, dousing one guy all over his lap.

  “Oh my god, I am so sorry.” I reach for my towel and run it over his wet lap.

  He jumps back a little at my touch, trying not to touch me as my chest is so close to his face. It’s then I remember I’m topless and I jump back.

  He chuckles and smiles at me. “Well, it’s not every day a beautiful woman pats my lap like that after she soaks me in beer.”

  I bite my bottom lip, worried I’ll be in trouble. “I am truly sorry. I’m such a klutz tonight.”

  He winks at me. “Nothing to apologize for sweetheart, these things happen, and I’ve had worse things on my lap.” He winks again. Amusement on his face.

  Harris comes over. “Luna, what on earth happened?”

  The guy holds his hands up. “My fault. She was placing the tray down, and I moved my arm and knocked it from under her.” He winks at me again.

  Harris looks over to me and asks, “Is that true Luna?”

  He stares at me, and I go back and forth between him and the guy who’s lap I just dropped beer all over. “Y-yes,” I stutter, hoping he can't hear the uncertainty in my voice.

  He places his hands on his hips. “Make sure this is all cleaned up and then take a break, you’ve been off all night. Get your head in the game, Luna.” He stalks off and shakes his head.

  The guy whistles. “Damn, your boss is a right asshole.” He chuckles at my wide eyes.

  “What, is that not the right word? Maybe Jackass or bastard?” He leans towards me and smiles.

  His friend that’s with him finally speaks up.

  “Man, you smell like a fucking brewery.” The guy laughs and runs his fingers through his hair, his arm bulging under his t-shirt.

  “Look, Luna right?”

  I nod, and he continues.

  “Maybe you can come to dinner with me for, you know, making me wet,” He jokes, flintiness in his voice.

  “We’re not allowed to date patrons,” I say ,covering myself a little. It feels awkward just standing here topless.

  He looks down at my move and wets his lips.

  “A beautiful girl like you should never hide herself, darling.” He smiles at me.

  I give him a soft smile back.

  “You got a boyfriend, sweetheart?” He asks me.

  “N—” I stop because I didn’t know this man, and I mean, I had Ethan. We’re not together per se, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pretend for my safety.

  “Yes,” I say as casual as I can manage, like I hadn’t just been trying to decide about Ethan. God, I could just imagine what he would say or even do if he walked in right now and saw this guy flirting with me.

  “Damn shame, sweetheart.” He winks.

  I swallow, getting a little uncomfortable now.

  �
�I should clean this up.”

  I start to collect the glasses and sponge up as much of the beer from the table and floor as I can. God, I am such an idiot. Ethan has been running through my mind all night, and I was so deep in thought about what he said in my apartment, I tripped on my own two feet.

  Once I place the glasses and tray back behind the bar, I look over. The guy hasn’t taken his eyes off me. In fact, he follows me to the bar.

  He leans over it, smirking that ever-charming smile I’m sure he lands a lot of ladies with.

  “I didn’t mean to alarm you, Luna, it's just you’re so beautiful, and I thought to make it up to me, I could take you out for dinner.”

  “Since you saturated my jeans with beer and I will have to go home now or suffer being sticky and wet all night.” He smirks at his own joke.

  “I’m so sorry.” I say and give him a small wave and head to have my break. Once I’m away from his prying eyes, I lean my head on the wall, taking a deep breath.

  I turn my head around the corner to see if he is still there. He's back at his table with his friend but he must sense me looking and looks straight at me. He smiles and gives me another wink.

  I scramble to turn back around and head to get a shirt to cover myself.

  This guy may be charming as hell, but I get a strange feeling from him. My skin crawls with thoughts of what could happen if I was to say yes to his proposal,

  I sit for a few minutes, catching my breath and trying to get thoughts of Ethan out of my mind. It doesn't work. I give up after twenty minutes. He’s just permanently stuck there.

  I’m glad once I walk in the door. Ethan wasn’t there waiting for me. I guess he had other things to do, or maybe he’s already done trying to win me back. Is it sad I don’t want him to stop but at the same time I want him to? God, how can my mind be so unsure about Ethan? He’s hurt you too many times, that’s why. That little voice snaps at me.

  I sigh and slip my shoes off. I was a little worried that guy would be there waiting for me. I mean, maybe I’m just being paranoid, and he was just being nice, but something felt off about him.

  I turned the shower on, trying not to wake Callie. I half expected her to be waiting for me on the couch when I walked through the door, to serve me twenty questions. But I seem to have been too late for her, because she is fast asleep.

  I rinse the night off me, and can hear my bed calling my name. I slip into some sleep shorts and a tank and slide under my covers. It doesn't take long for my eyes to feel heavy.

  Morning light fills my room, and I stretch my hands above my head and let out a soft yawn.

  “Fucking hell, you look like a wet fucking dream in the mornings?”

  My eyes fly open, and I sit up so quickly that Ethan and I smash heads. I see stars.

  “Bloody hell, Luna, you trying to knock me out?”

  I hold my head from the pain. “What are you doing here?”

  I almost screeched at him. He gives me that panty-dropping smile and sits back down next to me.

  “I mean, I came to see if you wanted to have breakfast, but you were fast asleep. Callie wasn’t too keen on me staying, but I persuaded her into letting me stay.”

  “How long have you been watching me sleep?” I ask, frustrated.

  “Maybe half an hour you’re fucking adorable, you know that?” He winks.

  What is it about a guy winking that is so damn charming? Apart from that guy last night.

  I clap my hands over my face and fall backwards to my pillow. God, could this morning get any worse?

  “You do realize that is creepy as hell, don’t you?” I mumble through my hands.

  “What?” He asks, lifting my hands off my face.

  “Staring at someone while they sleep.”

  He pfffts and shrugs his shoulders.

  “I used to do it all the time, Luna nothing creepy about it.

  “There is plenty creepy about it, Ethan.” I moan, sitting up frustration clearly written all over my face.

  Ethan smirks, and it does things to me. Butterflies swarm inside me, and my heart beats faster.

  Calm yourself down.

  “You okay there, baby bird?” Ethan’s voice breaks through my daydreaming.

  “Huh?” I look up at him.

  He smiles again, and this time he reaches out and bops me on the nose with his finger. He used to do this when he wanted my attention. It used to drive me crazy because he wanted my attention all the time.

  “It’s adorable when you go off into your head like that and you think I don’t notice.” He chuckles.

  I can’t help but glare at him.

  “Will you stop noticing things about me,” I say flustered, and stand, swiping the covers off myself.

  Ethan’s eyes go wide, and his jaw practically hits the floor. I look down at myself. I totally forgot I wore skimpy shorts to bed last night and a tight tank top. My boobs have a mind of their own and are currently trying to break free from their enclosed space. I readjust myself and clear my throat, glaring at Ethan.

  “My eyes are up here, you know?” I state to him.

  He finally takes his eyes off my tits long enough to look me in the eyes.

  “Yeah, but fucking hell, baby bird, did your tits grow? Because fucking hell, what I wouldn’t give to take one of those cherry nipples of yours and go to fucking town.”

  His words send shivers through my body, and I try my damndest to not let him see the effect he has on me, but by his soft smirk, I’m guessing I failed terribly.

  “Do you have to be so crass? I mean, you haven’t changed one bit.” I say grabbing my gown from the floor beside my bed and trying to at least cover myself a little.

  Ethan chuckles behind me, and I want to kick him right in the face. I would even settle for his balls.

  “Calm your tits, baby bird, I’m just messing with you.”

  I cross my arms over my chest and give him a death glare.

  He holds his hands up in surrender.

  “Friends, I know, I remember.”

  “Good, now that that’s settled, please escort yourself out. I need to shower.” I shove him towards the door.

  He moves from my grip and spins around fully, trying to get free of me, but we get tangled in my Doona, and before I know it, Ethan is taking me down with him, and I land on top of him.

  He looks up at me with the goofiest and possibly the most sexiest smile ever known to womankind with hunger in his eyes that had my breath quicken, as I stare down at him. Our lips so close, centimeters apart, barely touching, a slight whisper of a touch really. He hardens under me, and that’s enough to snap my brain back to what I was originally doing before his sexiness fried my brain. Kicking him out.

  I jump to my feet, and Ethan follows standing inches from me.

  “You should go?” I say as I grab clothes for my shower.

  “Baby bird.”

  I still grab my clothes, ignoring him. Maybe if I believe he isn’t there, he will go away.

  “Luna.” His voice is raised enough to snap me out of daydreams.

  He reaches out and grabs my hand. His fingers lock with mine, and I try to remove them, but it’s no use, his touch ignites a fire deep inside my belly. All the strength I had slips away piece by piece.

  “Ethan.” My voice is a whisper, a plea to let me go.

  God, he can not touch me because as strong as I make myself out to be, I still love him, and he still sets my soul on fire. How can someone hurt you so many times and shatter your heart into a billion pieces time after time to still have that same heartbeat so strong, just for him.

  “Are you telling me, baby bird, that the thought of me kissing you hasn’t crossed your mind?” He smirks.

  The bastard knows I’ve thought of nothing else.

  “If you just say that one little word, I’ll shut up about it I promise.” He winks.

  I could lie to him to end this right now, my heart beats so fast as he leans towards me his lips are a brush away,
and God, it’s so painful.

  I close my eyes, ready to feel his lips on mine, but he moves away making my heart sink.

  He chuckles, and I almost glare at him.

  “Best to keep you waiting, baby bird, because you will want me to kiss you soon enough.

  Cheeky bugger.

  His lips touch my shoulder.I want him to kiss me. How pathetic am I? I slam my eyes shut as I force all those thoughts aside. He hurt you remember? he ripped your heart from your chest. You can’t let him do this again.

  “You need to leave,” I tell him, my eyes still firmly shut. I feel him move. I know he’s standing in front of me.

  “Why the hell would I leave, Luna?” He seems angry, frustrated maybe.

  God, aren’t we both.

  “Because it’s the right thing to do.”

  He cups my cheek. “Luna, look at me?” A plea is in his voice.

  “I can’t.” A sob breaks free. God, I am pathetic. I can’t even talk to him without tears falling.

  “Baby bird.” He lifts my chin.

  My eyes snap open. He's standing in front of me, so close—too close.

  I try to move back, but his hold on me stops me. His hands are warm on my skin, and I feel every ripple of electricity curse through my veins.

  “If you think for one second I’m walking the fuck out that door after what we just shared, than you’re fucking delusional.” His eyes are brimming with sadness.

  “Please, Ethan I can’t do this.” I sniff.

  “What, baby bird?” He cups my face harder, pulling me closer to him.

  My tears fall freely now, and I can’t stop the sobs that escape.

  “Us,” I simply say.

  Pain courses through my body at my own words. But I can’t say those words, I can’t say stay, I’m ashamed at how my body still reacts. Ethan has this power over me, one I can’t seem to free myself from it no matter how much I try or how much time has passed. What’s wrong with me? I’m so lost I’m fighting with myself on how I should act. My mind is telling me yes, but my heart screams no. Ethan makes me fight my feelings, the ones that keep rearing their head whenever he’s around. The ones that were dormant for a while but are now here to stay no matter how much I fight them.