by Tara Lee
“I’m sorry, Daddy, I’ll make more of an effort, I promise.
“Have you reconsidered school?” He asks.
I sigh.
“Daddy, not now okay, I just want to take some time off.”
“I know, cupcake, but I want you to get out there and get a degree, work towards your dream. It's what your Mom would want.”
“Gah, I hate when you bring Mom into this, Daddy. You don’t know what she wants because she isn’t here anymore.”
I didn’t mean to snap at Daddy, but he knows I’m taking a year off to find myself after losing Mom. It just doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right anymore. I need air. I need time to myself before I go off to college and study my ass off for a job I probably wouldn’t get anyway.
“Luna.” Daddy’s voice was firm.
“I know what your mother wanted because it’s what I want, too, cupcake. We were a team, we just wanted you to be happy.”
I hear him move about and I know what’s coming next.
“How are you feeling, nauseous at all?”
“No, Daddy, I will tell you if I feel even slightly off.” I’ve been in remission for a little over a year, but it doesn’t stop Daddy from worrying. Little does he know, I worry every day about getting sick again.
“I know you want me to be happy, Daddy. Look, I’m in line getting coffee so I’ll have to call you back later.”
He sighs, and I know he’s not done with this conversation.
“Okay, cupcake. You're set for money, right?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I roll my eyes.
“Just checking, cupcake I love you.”
“Love you, too.” I say, and we hang up.
Once my hot coffee is in my hands, I make my way out of the coffee shop. I look around, but the guy is gone, so I assume he’s moved on and let me be . I turn the corner and bump into a hard wall of chest.
“Shit, you okay?” The guy who grabs my arm so I don’t fall flat on my ass asks me.
“Um, yes, thank you.” I scurry past him, not even looking at him, and make a dash back to my apartment.
By the time I make it to my building, Ethan is standing there waiting, his arms crossed over his chest, leaning on the wall. As soon as he sees me, he smiles, and I am pretty sure angels just sang above me. God, why did his smile have to be so damn sexy?
He frowns when I get closer and reaches for me. “Luna, you okay?” His voice is laced with concern.
I nod and smile, getting my key to open the door. He follows me, keeping close. His hand softly touches my lower back, as if he needs to touch me, even if it’s just barely.
“Luna, what’s wrong? You look scared out of your mind, so tell me what happened.” He stands in front of me once we’re in my apartment, he reaches out to grab me by my shoulders, holding me at a distance so he can look into my eyes.
My breaths have become panicky, and Ethan brings me into his arms and holds me so tight. I feel so safe I grab on to his back, wrapping my arms around him, my head lays on his chest, and then the tears fall. God, I’m so pathetic, but that man really frightened me.
“Baby bird, you need to tell me why you are so frightened?” He looks down at me but doesn’t move me from his hold.
I'm thankful for that small reprieve.
“A man,” I start.
“What about a man?” He asks.
“Was staring at me when I came outside, then he followed me to the coffee shop.”
Ethan pulls me back now. “What did he look like?”
“I-I don’t know. Tall, dark hair he wore jeans and a jacket. I swallow; realising my throat feels like it’s closing up.
“Fuck.” Ethan curses. He takes me to the sofa that sits in the entrance and sits with me.
Ethan looks torn, like he has something to say but doesn’t want or know how to say it.
“Do you know who it is?”
“What?” He looks at me.
“Of course not, Luna.”
I can tell he’s lying, I have a feeling, and my gut never lets me down.
“I just hate that that fucker followed you, Luna. New York isn’t safe. Maybe you should go home?”
I frown at him.
“Excuse me?” I stand abruptly.
Ethan stays seated, looking up at me.
“Luna, I just think maybe it’s for the best there are psychos all over New York. What if that guy comes back? What if he hurts you? Because if he does, I’ll hunt the fucker down and slit his throat.” He stands and paces, his chest rapidly rising and falling.
“Ethan?” My voice is soft ,because I’ve never heard Ethan talk like that, ever.
I place my hands on his chest, and his eyes go to where my hands rest.
He places his hands over mine and says,
“I won’t survive if I lose you, Luna, I just won’t.” His eyes hold pain and from the look on his face, the pain is deep, maybe even brutal.
“Ethan, what aren’t you telling me?” I ask.
He shifts, and my hands drop from his chest.
“Nothing, okay, just be careful. Maybe get some Mace or something. I can’t watch you twenty four seven.”
I huff out a laugh. Is he serious right now?
“I never asked you to watch me at all, Ethan, I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to be my hero,” I almost scream at him.
He moves towards me again. We’re so close, both breathing heavily, waiting for the first move to be made.
“No, you didn’t ask me, Luna, but that’s what I’m doing, okay, it’s my job as—”
“As what?” I throw my hands in the air.
“We’re not together, Ethan and I don’t need you to watch me like I’m some kid. I can take care of myself. Please leave.” I turn to the door, opening it to let him out.
He stands there, not making a move. Clearly not in any hurry to either. I sigh and lean my head back.
“If you care about me at all, Ethan, you will do what I asked you to.”
My eyes meet his, and he shakes his head and walks— no,— charges towards me. His hand rests on my hip, and I hate that it sends tingles over my skin.
“This isn’t over, baby bird, not by a long shot.”
He walks away, leaving me frustrated and confused as hell.
What is going on with him? He’s become all macho man. I mean, he had caveman tendencies before, but this is out of control.
From him comforting me to practically telling me what to do. I don’t understand what is going on in his head. Maybe I don’t want to. Ethan has always been broken. Maybe time didn’t heal him at all. Maybe he’s not fixable?
I stormed out of Luna’s apartment, pissed at myself for losing control. As soon as she mentioned the man following her, I lost it. Fucking Lorenzo, trying to intimidate her.
I went there to see if she wanted to catch a movie or something, and instead we fought. Typical us. It’s how we’ve always been. Some of the best sex we’ve had is from yelling at each other first, it always ended in fucking the anger out of each other.
I curse and slam through the doors. My phone rings. The number I hate, the one I dread when he calls, the one I wish I didn’t know, is on the screen.
“What?” I snap through the line, my anger clear in my tone.
“I’d watch your tone with me, boy unless you want to lose your tongue.” He hisses on the end of the line.
“Did you do this?” I ask my anger getting the better of me.
“Please do tell me, what I did?” He says with a hint of sarcasm.
“Send someone to spy on Luna?”
He lets out an exasperated sigh.
“I have better things to do with my time than have your so-called girl followed.”
I clench my teeth and take a deep breath. No point losing my shit over the phone.
“The answer is still no,” I tell him, getting ready to hang up.
People brush past, me minding their own business as I stand in the middle of the wal
kway, eager to get Lorenzo off the phone.
He chuckles, and I hate how he finds this shit funny.
“One month, boy. No longer. I’m being lenient with you as it is.” He says as if he’s doing me a favor.
“Over my dead body.” I growl. Fuck, Ethan why poke the bear?
“That could be arranged, Ethan.” He’s serious now.
“Fuck you.” I glare at someone when they frown at me while they walk past.
Lorenzo is silent, and it only means one thing: I’ve pissed him off.
“Listen here, and you listen good, boy. You are my son ,the heir to my fortune, to my wealth, the man who will one day own New York just like I have.”
I growl through the line. “You don’t fucking understand, I want none of it! give it to one of your goons for all I care. I don’t want any part in that fucking world, and I don’t care what you do to me, I’ll never say yes.” I hang up on the man that is my father, knowing I’ve rubbed salt on the wound because he’ll come for me, and it will be sooner rather than later, and I know if he really wants to, he’ll go after Luna just to spite me.
I throw my leg over my bike and speed off down the street. The roar of the engine blocks everything out as I ride. I need a fucking drink, because if I don’t, I’ll take something worse, and after that fight with Luna, and now Lorenzo, my sanity is fading. Fuck, I need to fucking drown out everything. But it’s a temporary high that will never take the pain away.
I needed to stay cool around Luna and stop losing my shit it’s hard when she knows how to push all my buttons.
Fuck did she know all my buttons.
If I wasn’t careful, she would figure out my secret or that I’m keeping one from her. The one I’m fearful to tell her. How would she look at me, knowing who my father is, knowing she fell in love with a man who’s destiny is to run the biggest drug ring in New York fucking City? My future doesn’t have space for her, but I’ll be damned if he thinks I’m losing her again. How the fuck do I get out of this?
Would Luna love me anyway? Fuck, no she won’t.
By the time I’ve made it home, I’ve cooled down a bit, but thoughts of lying to Luna and not being able to share my deepest, darkest secret with her kills me. Especially since I’ve told Bishop, and his ugly mug means nothing like Luna does.
“Fuck.” I bite out, going for my fridge. I pull out a beer and gulp it down in a few sips. I take out two more, and within ten minutes, they’re gone. My head is a little clearer, but I still have no clue how to fix this. Fix it so Lorenzo leaves me out of it, wealth and all, and I get to spend my life loving Luna.
I sink back in my chair, and an idea pops into my head, but I know it won’t work.
There is no way I could make it happen, he’s too heavily guarded, and the moment they suspect what I’m up to, I’ll be shot down.
Plan B, Ethan, because that shit won’t work. You need to come up with a plan where you get out of your father's grasp and you get the girl.
Only thing is, I have no plan B. Fuck!
Tonight, we are going out. Callie told me she isn’t taking no for an answer. I rolled my eyes at her protest earlier to see why it would benefit me to go out dancing. The last thing I wanted to do was go out after my fight with Ethan yesterday and the feeling I got that he was hiding something from me. Okay, to be fair, I’m hiding something from him, too, but his secret had to be way worse, right?
I want him to tell me. This secret was troubling him, I could tell. I sigh, eager to get this over with so I can curl into bed and maybe not think of Ethan for one night since he came barreling back into my life.
Fat chance of that happening.
“You ready, chicka?” Callie asks as she comes into my room.
“Yeah, I guess.” I pick up my purse and throw it across my body and over my shoulder. It’s one I could wear on my side for easy access.
“Damn, babe, you’re hot as fuck.” She whistles at me.
I feel my cheeks heat with her remark.
“Geez, thanks, you’re smoking yourself.”
She waves me off, because that’s how confident Callie is.
We walk into a bar a few blocks from our apartment. The music is loud, and lights flash all over the place. It’s enough for you to have a seizure with how much strobe they have going on.
Callie walks to the bar, pulling me behind her. She starts to flirt with the bartender as she asks for two cosmos. Geez, she really is trying to get me drunk. I’m not a big drinker, so it doesn’t take much for me to get a little tipsy.
We sip our drinks and sit at the bar, talking back and forth, when my gaze rises above Callie’s head. Ethan’s sitting down the other end with a friend he hasn’t noticed us yet, and I duck, trying to avoid him. Why? I’ll never know.The man could probably sniff me out like a dog at the airport.
“What are you doing?” Callie questions my weird behavior.
“Nothing.” I say trying to keep hidden behind her.
She turns, and it takes a while before she spots him. She turns back around with a huge smile on her face and slaps my arm.
“Are you, Luna Hawkins, trying to avoid Ethan?”
“No.” I shake my head, still using her as a shield.
“Uh-huh.” Callie sips her cosmo slowly, hiding a smile behind her straw.
I roll my eyes, mostly at myself. Who am I kidding? I will never be able to run from him, he has this pull I can’t seem to escape. It just feels too soon.
Callie clears her throat. “He’s walking this way, act cool.” She spins in her chair and greets Ethan and his friend with a huge smile.
“Ethan. Well, hello there, and who is this handsome friend of yours?”
Always the flirt. Really, Callie? I want to roll my eyes again but I refrain.
“Baby bird,” Ethan says under his breath.
His hair is a disheveled mess, which I find too sexy for its own good, and I want to run my fingers through it. God, he even smells divine. How is that even possible? He’s so close, how did he get so close to me so fast? God, he’s like a thief in the night, swift and smooth, only he’s stealing my most prized possession—my heart. He’s bad for me. I know that I had to protect my heart. Because protecting my heart has become my priority. I just wasn’t sure how long I could keep it guarded for.
“Ethan,” I say calmly, trying to show him he hasn’t affected me in any way.
Why lie to yourself, Luna.
He smirks, and his lips lift in a sexy smirk that really should be illegal. It takes all of my strength not to stare at his lips.
“This is Bishop.” He nods to his friend.
Bishop nods at both Callie and me, and then she continues to flirt with him. She starts asking him about his tattoos, because like Ethan, he is covered in them.
“So how have you been?” Ethan leans closer to me as if he hadn’t seen me yesterday and walked out after we fought.
“G-good,” I stammer. God, get a grip, Luna.
Ethan knows just what he’s doing to me that spark, it’s still there. Even after all our time apart it's never left, and I’m pretty sure will never ignite for anyone else.
“You look amazing.” He drawls, biting his bottom lip, lifting his hand, touching my side.
His fingers graze over the material of my dress, and I know what he’s trying to do— he’s trying to touch me, to make me lose all my senses. Because Ethans touch is dangerous, deadly dangerous.
“Nice dress.” He smiles and gives me a wink.
I glare at him and continue to sip my drink. It’s so good but I can feel it going straight to my head. Light weight, I think to myself.
Ethan keeps close to me, not even making an attempt to move the slightest bit. His hand brushes across my stomach as he looks me over, I can see the heat in his eyes, he wants to do more than touch. I clear my throat and grab Callie’s hand. She has been so infatuated talking to Ethan’s friend, she hasn’t even noticed I need her help, because I can not push Ethan away with everything in m
e, as much as I want to try. I need someone to intervene. Callie looks at me and smiles.
“Bathroom?” I ask, but she knows it’s more of a request than me asking her if she actually needs to go.
“Yeah, sure. We’ll be back, boys, don’t go anywhere,''
She brushes her hand up Bishop's arm sexually, and the look they give each other nearly has me throwing up right there on the floor. Could they eye-fuck each other elsewhere?
“Oh my god, you want to screw him?” I whisper-hiss at her when we get a little distance between us and the guys.
“Um, have you seen him? Fuck, yes, I do he’s gorgeous, and trust me, I felt what he was rocking up against my leg, and the man is packing, if you know what I mean.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, practically drooling.
“Okay.” I put my fingers in my throat like I’m going to throw up. “Calm down, chicka, don’t be giving up the goods that easy.”
We reach the bathroom, and I actually have to pee so I head into an empty stall and Callie fixes her makeup in the mirror as I do.
“So,” She says. “You are so going to fuck Ethan tonight, aren’t you?”
“Callie,” I scream at her. God, we are not alone in here.
“What?” She replies. “Just speaking the truth, babe I mean he has not taken his eyes off you the entire time since he saw you.”
I roll my eyes at her, even though she can’t see me, and pull my underpants up once I’ve wiped. I flush and pull the door open to find Callie standing there looking at me with a smug smile on her face.
“Okay, calm your tits, okay, Ethan and I are so not fucking, FYI.” I tell her while I wash my hands. I check my makeup once I’m done.
Callie comes up beside me and raises her eyebrows, a “Come on, you can’t hide this shit from me” look.
“Girl, you can practically feel the sexual tension between you, and trust me, it’s even making me horny.”
“Good God, do you have a filter?” I laugh.
She shrugs. “Nope, and that’s why you love me.” She blows me a kiss and winks.
I shake my head as she walks towards the door. I really do love her.
I sigh and head back out. If Ethan is going to be around, I need another drink. Or maybe more than one more.
