“Miss Butler,” he hesitated. “I am not supposed to get too close.”
“But we could become friends,” she said, dismayed. “Friends are allowed, right?”
“Of course,” he agreed, checking his watch.
“And friends talk?”
“Touché,” Aiden admitted with a grin that should have melted her heart.
Riley stared at him. The smile on his face didn’t look right. It wasn’t personal. It wasn’t John’s smile. It was just as cold as any other stranger’s. That dimple that enchanted her was missing. That’s okay, Riley-girl. John didn’t know you either at first. Give him time.
“Tell you what,” he said politely, “I’ll will come back after rounds.”
“Ha! I’ve literally heard that one before from you,” she snorted indelicately and stared when his cheeks actually turned pink. Had her John ever blushed before?
“I guess I deserved that,” he said egregiously.
“I’m not trying to be mean. I think you are nice looking and want to get to know you,” she said politely. That line worked on her before and she was willing to try anything. “Let’s chat for a few and see how it goes.”
“Fraternization?” he reminded her.
“Nope, none. If we have to talk about my health and hobbies, so be it,” she countered with a smile. Please smile at me! Please look at me like John did! Except all he did was nod and leave the room. No smiles, no promises, no stolen looks. He left the room and didn’t look back.
Aiden avoided her room the next few days. It was obvious. She had been encouraged to walk the hall to get some exercise and she saw him helping someone onto the elevators. She wanted to shout his name. Instead, she bit her tongue. She wasn’t going to beg and felt like she was borderline getting there already. Riley was due to be discharged tomorrow under strict orders to rest, so time was of the essence. Either talk to him, give him her cell number or give up and pray she ran into him again. If there was any hope or chance, she was fully prepared to stalk the hospital in hopes of seeing him. Pathetic!
Grabbing a pen off the nurse’s desk, she wrote her name and number on a napkin. With a smile, she returned the pen and folded the paper napkin up, tucking it into her robe pocket. Thank goodness, the hospital provided robes or her rear end would have been hanging out the back as she took her daily jaunts around the hallways. Did they have robes in 1845? Did John even own one? Riley pictured him in a terrycloth robe and shook her head sadly. It just didn’t fit his personality. He wasn’t a pampered man. He was a rugged, brusque, “I want to lick caramel off his six pack” kind of guy… and those guys didn’t wear robes. Nope, they strode naked from ponds showing the world what they have.
Why in the hell did she leave? she thought wildly. Her heart hurt so very much just thinking about John.
Aiden walked in with two cups of Starbucks coffee at that very moment and Riley’s heart leaped out of her chest. “You came!” she exclaimed, shocked and filled with hope.
“Shhh,” he said carefully, looking around. “Seriously, you are going to get me fired.”
“Sorry,” she whispered, instantly contrite. She held her finger over her lips in an imaginary pinch as she promised to be quiet.
“I thought you might like some of the real stuff,” he said politely.
“Oh yes, absolutely,” she said smiling. “Have a seat?” She frowned when he refused. “You don’t want to sit?”
“I honestly can’t stay long. You wanted to talk. Do we know each other? I’ve been thinking about it and you look like you know me but I can’t place it. Did we go to school together?” he asked, confused.
“Do you recognize me?” Riley asked, trying to keep the desperation from her voice. John had to be in there somewhere. She just had to reach him.
“I seriously don’t. Should I?”
“Maybe not,” she hedged.
“Do you know me from somewhere?”
“I thought I did,” she said softly, lost in thought. “Maybe not. Shall we start over?”
“Miss Butler, what do you want from me?” he asked politely.
“Honestly, I’d like to go on a date with you,” she announced, placing all her cards on the table at once.
“Your discharge is set for tomorrow and you need to spend some time resting,” Aiden replied.
“Yes, yes. I know. But going to a movie or having coffee isn’t stressful.”
“Again, you win this fight,” Aiden admitted politely.
“Does it have to be a fight?”
“No, I guess not,” he said with an odd expression.
“You really aren’t interested, are you?” she said suddenly, comprehension dawning. “You have someone else?”
“No, I don’t. This is just different from my normal routine so it’s a bit unnerving.”
Riley stared at him, growing desperate. There was simply no desire and no recognition from him at all. It was like looking at a stranger and it hurt her. Then it struck her.
“Oh, I think I have something in my eye,” she said suddenly covering it up. “It hurts really bad!” she said, squirming around. “Oh my gosh!”
“Let me see! Stand still,” he said firmly and grabbed his flashlight pen.
Riley held her eye open as he shined the light in her eye, looking around. She stared at his beautiful eyes that had looked at her so many times in so many different ways but the distance she saw was crushing and painful, more so than the accident she had been in.
Surging forward, Riley tried to kiss Aiden and failed miserably. She expected a result, any result. But what happened horrified her. Her lips touched his and it was like kissing a mannequin. He simply wasn’t there! Not only was he lifeless, he was definitely not interested in her in the slightest. As much as she lunged forward to initiate the contact, he surged backwards in disgust. Losing his footing, he fell onto the floor staring at her in abject horror.
“You’re freaking nuts,” he said, shocked. “I barely know you and you are molesting me?”
“I’m not molesting you,” she yelped, moving back from him. He may look like John but he was far from it! The idea of John being gone from her… literally gone, was horrifying.
Riley’s breakfast came surging back upward causing her to violently vomit straight on Aiden’s legs that were sprawled out in front of him. He screamed like a little girl, got up and ran from the hospital room. If it wasn’t so traumatizing, she might have laughed hysterically. Right now, Riley wanted only to curl up and die. John was gone. She made a whopper of a mistake and was overcome with grief and remorse.
Gone.
Riley let out a god-awful wail of pain and gripped the cold, steel rail of the hospital bed to keep her from collapsing in her own rancid vomit. She didn’t care. All that rang through her mind was that John was gone and she had made the biggest mistake of her life. An irreversible mistake.
Or was it?
Grasping at that thin sliver of hope, Riley pulled herself along the furniture of the room, not trusting her shell-shocked brain to carry her through her plan. The mind was willing, the body would fight it for self-preservation. Riley had been in a car accident before, that was what had sent her to John. She would take it upon herself to get sent back again or end this agony. It was simply decided. Miss Riley Butler was going to go play in traffic during rush hour until she went home to John.
Riley could hear Aiden’s horrified voice screaming like a banshee that she had ruined his favorite pair of scrubs. Puh-lease, scrubs get all sorts of things on them. Boo-effin-hoo, you pansy. She could see that now. Her John, her husband was a man. This guy was a shell that mimicked a man. She wanted her husband and would do anything to get there!
Slipping out the door, she picked up a doctor’s lab coat and slipped it over her gown. It worked in the movies. She was certainly going to try it here. Probably be able to pull it off if she wasn’t wearing hospital socks with the grippies on the bottom. Fuck it, she thought, relishing the foul language. I don’t care w
hat kind of shoes I wear anymore, nor do I care who I offend.
Racing down the hallway, she heard a commotion behind her as she darted into the elevator. As the doors pulled to a close, she gave Aiden’s angry face the one finger salute as he ran down the hall with security. You’re a mockery of a man, stealing my guy’s sexy looks! Take that!
Whistling that ditty that John always seemed to hum, she waited for the elevator doors to open. As they did, Riley put her hands down in the pockets and casually walked out. Trying to look casual, she gave a mock salute to the security guard at the information desk. Behind her, the other elevator gave a ding signifying its arrival and her much needed immediate departure unless she was going to be thrown in the looney bin!
Time to go!
Riley raced silently out the front door and gave silent thanks for the fact the grippies on the bottom of the cheap socks were simply awesome! No slipping whatsoever as she ran like hell from the screaming throng of employees behind her. Pushing her way past a few pedestrians, Riley hesitated and then skipped carelessly out into oncoming traffic. Horns blaring, cars swerving, she waited for the first strike of a bumper.
I’m so fuckin done with this place! You hear me, Eve? FUCKING DONE! she thought as a black Lincoln Town Car screeched to avoid hitting her.
“Are you happy you snarky, foul, mealy-mouthed idiot?” Eve snarled from the sidewalk. “I’m here by direct order, so let’s have it. What do you want now?”
“I want to go home,” she admitted quietly.
“You are home!” she roared. “By your own request!”
“No, I’m not, she said softly, feeling the admission torn from her.
“Tough ca-ca,” Eve said flatly, crossing her arms.
“I know,” Riley whispered, horrified at how badly she had screwed up.
“So, are you expecting some help? Some offer of kindness? Some pity?” Eve yelled scathingly as Riley stood in complete defeat awaiting her end. Saying nothing, she heard Eve’s tirade continue as she screamed, “Then what are you doing in a hospital gown and coat in the middle of Broadway?”
“You are delaying me,” Riley admitted quietly. “Why’d you freeze everything?”
“Because you weren’t supposed to die,” Eve said adamantly. “Everything has a purpose and a reason. You have a purpose, you are just misplaced.”
“Send me back!” Riley interrupted suddenly, the pain almost too much to bear. “Or snap your ever-loving fingers and let’s get this over with!”
“No! Why in the world would I?” Eve asked bluntly.
“I’m suffering,” she whimpered, dropping to her knees on the asphalt, uncaring at the pain it caused to her tender skin.
“No, you are selfish and wanting things your own way. John is the one suffering,” Eve said flatly. “You knew his first wife left him and what it did to him. What did you think having his soulmate abandon him would do?”
“Soulmate?”
“You moron,” Eve said dejectedly, slapping her forehead. “No wonder your soul is misplaced! You are dumb. D.U.M.B.,” she spelled out slowly. “Yes! Soulmate! The spic to his span? The salt to his pepper? The yin to his yang – and you enjoyed his yang very much before you decided to come back!” she said with a half-smile. “Man, that was some fun times you two had.”
“You watched us?”
“Heck no, that’s peeping. You were broadcasting it mentally, baby girl!”
Riley shook her head, confused, “Focus, Eve. Soulmate?”
“Yeah,” she said, changing suddenly. “Little one, you’re lost. You weren’t supposed to be here. That’s my job to guide you where you are supposed to go. Your puzzle piece is in the wrong box. I put you in the right box, but you took the first chance to leap out. The puzzle is incomplete. You are needed in 1845. John needs you. I said you had a purpose… you were his.”
“And I need him,” she said desperately, her lip trembling as tears rolled down her face. She couldn’t imagine not seeing his tender smile ever again. The thought of him being alone, missing him hurt so much.
“I know you do. No takebacks sweetie. This time, it’s permanent,” Eve said sympathetically, raising her finger and snapping them. The traffic surged forward directly into Riley’s body.
Chapter 11
Surging upward with a desperate gasp, Riley felt her body fall into itself yet again. She recognized the crippling cramping sensation and the tingling to her skin. Cracking open an eye, she saw that she was laying in the grass once again. This time, instead of in her business suit, she was still in the hospital gown and lab coat. Sitting up, her head spun wildly and she had to catch her breath. No takebacks, permanent Eve had said.
Thank you, God.
She tried sitting up again and was able to manage to get to her knees. She could see the marks on her skin where she had knelt on the asphalt. The scrapes were nothing compared to how she felt without John.
John!
Riley scrambled up and ignored the vertigo, walking wobbly to the cabin in the distance. She thanked her lucky stars that she hadn’t been dropped near the middle of town once again. That cabin in the distance looked like their home. Home! She prayed it was theirs and that John was home.
As the spinning subsided, Riley picked up the pace, attempting to jog the distance in the hospital socks. All sorts of brambles and sticks were getting caught up in the cheap cotton socks, stabbing at her feet. She simply didn’t care. Hopping on each foot, she yanked off the offending socks and dropped them on the ground. As she came up to the house, she opened the door and raced to the bedroom. Empty. Stepping out on the front step, she looked wildly around and headed for the barn.
Walking inside, she saw how dark and gloomy the interior was. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the shadows inside. Where it felt warm and alive before, it now felt empty. Lost. Broken.
The lone figure in the shadows ahead scared her. Her heart hammered in her chest as she looked at him. She could see John’s outline as he sat slumped over in a chair, his arms forward on his knees. His head hung low as if he was already gone. The ragged, desperate sigh that escaped him broke her heart. But the gun in his hands stopped her in her tracks.
“There better be two rounds in there, because if you shoot,” she whispered brokenly, scared he would pull the trigger before she could stop him. “Where you go, my love, I go.”
His face jerked upwards and stared at her. The devastation in his eyes was damning and she wished she could take it all back. The agony in his face would haunt her for all time!
She felt something surge forward from her body as she looked in his eyes and saw what had been missing from Aiden. The spark she had once seen in his eyes looked lifeless, until he saw her. That dim spark suddenly flared as he realized she was standing there. That tender gaze when he looked at her before must be his soul calling to hers. She loved the idea of having a soulmate. And she was so glad to have been put in his path. She couldn’t imagine life without this man ever again.
“Riley?” he whispered, confused. “Have I lost my mind?”
Riley was shocked at the change in him. He looked scared and afraid that she was a figment of his imagination. The beard had started to reappear and he had lost weight since she left. No one can take care of my guy like me, she thought.
“Is it my turn to ask you if you are insane,” she whispered, giving a watery smile as tears ran down her face. “I think we should have a discussion of what insanity is and how crazy in love with you I really am.”
John dropped the gun and she felt her breath whoosh from her as she realized she had been holding it. He stumbled for a moment as if he were dazed. Then she saw the flare in his gaze. He stood tall and walked with purpose, grabbing her desperately and crushing his lips against hers. She couldn’t help but wrap her arms around his neck and twine her legs around his waist, practically climbing up his tall form. He didn’t seem to mind her clinging to him in the slightest. Instead, he grasped her tightly to hold her against him.
>
Gasping for air, she broke the kiss and smiled at him. Brushing his hair off his face, they just looked at each other for several minutes and Riley swore she could feel the bond she had fought so long snap right into place. She missed her bearded wonder, she thought affectionately as she rubbed his chin, tugging on the bristles.
“What is this?” she teased, seeing him smile widely.
“Riley is a man’s name, you know?” he whispered reverently, shutting his eyes for a moment and resting his forehead against hers.
“It’s a beautiful family name that I think our son should have,” she retorted affectionately, ruffling his dark hair. Her shaggy bear of a man she loved!
“Or daughter,” he said tenderly. “A little girl with your temperament and blond hair would look like an angel.” Riley practically purred as he kissed her ever so tenderly. He carried her over to one of the horse stalls. He placed her down in the hay and quickly joined her. His hands shook as if he was afraid she would disappear. The need to reconnect was overwhelming. Their reunion was swift and desperate, filled with words of love and promises.
“I am so sorry, John,” Riley finally apologized as she caressed his brow that lay against her breast. She barely felt the straw on her back. It was poking her as a gentle reminder that she was home and this wasn’t a dream. Her sorrow, his pain, their lost time was all her fault. Her choice had been the biggest mistake she had ever made. She knew that now. It took her finding him, loving him and losing him to realize just how important he had become to her.
“Where did you go?” he asked, wrapping his arms tightly around her.
“I had the chance to return home, to my time,” she answered simply. There was no reason to go into details because it simply didn’t matter. Although she might tell him how she puked on Aiden. That was just funny looking back now. It wasn’t at the time. But it definitely was now!
“Why did you come back?” he asked. Riley could see that he needed to hear the words and the security those words brought. His tender heart had been torn out and stomped on. It was up to her to mend it.
A Lifetime with You: Timeswept Soulmates Page 12
