Good enough to sneak around with, but not good enough to stand beside when life got demanding.
“Neither, Nic. I wasn’t thinking,” she said simply. “Not for myself. That’s the point. There was never any question you’d do the honorable thing, none at all. I knew you’d help in any way I needed you. I thought you might even suggest marriage.”
Another sucker punch. “That wasn’t good enough.”
She shook her head, sending dark waves trailing over her shoulders. “What I wanted had nothing to do with it. You have every reason in the world not to believe me, but I’m being entirely honest when I say it wasn’t about you at all. I was in love with you. I knew how hard you worked. I respected you for it. You made me feel spoiled and selfish by comparison. But I also knew how much you wanted a future, a chance to go to college. You didn’t need another family to support.”
“That wasn’t your call to make.”
“No, it wasn’t. But I didn’t realize that at first. I just reacted. You would have been able to handle the situation. I didn’t know how. I relied on my parents to make the decisions like I always had. What they said made sense at the time. They had their reasons—”
“Don’t bother telling me about your parents’ reasons. I don’t want to hear about how I was your dirty little secret.”
She paled in response to that verbal punch, her grip tightening on the cup until he thought the lid might pop off.
He gave a harsh laugh. “I never even questioned why you didn’t let me pick you up from your house. I suppose that should have been my first clue—”
“I’m so sorry, Nic.” Her words spilled out, a broken whisper. She let her gaze slide from his, couldn’t face him. “I am so, so sorry. If I could take everything back, I would. I never meant to hurt you.”
He couldn’t open his mouth. Simply didn’t trust himself. The past might have happened years ago, but the anger poisoning him was all about right now, about wanting to deny he’d ever given her that much of him.
“I have no excuses.” She shrugged, such a helpless gesture. “What I did was wrong on every level. I knew my parents didn’t approve of you, but I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to them, so I sneaked around behind their backs because I wanted to be with you. It’s really that simple. I handled my pregnancy no different. I listened to what I was told and let it make sense.”
She finally let go of the cup. When she faced him again, he saw resolve in her expression, and resignation.
“For the record,” she said, “I don’t blame my parents. Not for my choices. They did what they felt was right. Whether I understand or respect their reasoning doesn’t take away the fact I was responsible. What I did was unfair to you and our daughter. If I’d have been thinking, I might have realized it. But I panicked. By the time I’d figured everything out, I’d made a huge mess and didn’t know how to fix it.”
Even the hurt he felt didn’t touch the anger. And her apologies didn’t take anything away, didn’t explain why he was only finding out he had a daughter when she was nearly grown.
He brought the cup to his lips, more for something to do than the cooling coffee. At this stage of the game, caffeine wasn’t going to do a damned thing except wind him even tighter.
Nic was so aware of her standing across from him, that ridiculous neon bag by her feet. He heard what she said, but nothing was processing. He didn’t understand, was almost disbelieving that the girl who’d not only given him her virginity but who’d lain in his arms and claimed to love him would have handled things this way. God, it was like he was eighteen years old all over again.
That made him angry, too.
“Even if I wanted to believe you,” he finally said, “how does any of that translate into now? Every day you woke up with our daughter, every time you took her on a plane and moved her from one country to another, you chose to keep her a secret.”
“I did. And that was intentional, Nic, damage control, because the choices I made impacted Violet.”
“I’d say so.”
“If you’ll give me a chance to explain, this part might actually make sense.”
He sincerely doubted it, but nodded anyway.
“The minute Violet was born, I knew I couldn’t go through with the adoption. Everyone tried to reason with me—my parents, the people at the maternity home. Everyone said it was a knee-jerk reaction to giving birth. But it wasn’t. It was the first time in my entire life I actually thought for myself. I heard what everyone was saying, but I knew what I wanted. Strangers were not going to raise my daughter. That’s about all I knew. I didn’t have a clue how I was going to care for her.
“The agency is a reputable one. It’s a religious not-for-profit that operates in several disadvantaged locations around the world, places with high mortality rates from poverty and disease. This agency places children with stable families wherever they can find them. The maternity homes are for mothers who’ve lost husbands or whose families can’t afford to feed them. Sometimes these homes are the only chance an infant gets to survive. They really do a lot of good work.”
Keeping him in the dark was good work?
“Your mother took you out of the country so you could circumvent the law about getting my permission for the adoption?” He wasn’t sure why he asked when the answer was obvious. Maybe he simply needed to hold her accountable in some lame way, to feel the illusion of some control.
She nodded, that haunted look on her face not making him feel any better. “Since the agency isn’t based in the States, the legalities are easier to get around. But if I had admitted who Violet’s father was, you’d have been contacted. That’s the way it works to make adoption legal.”
She didn’t get a chance to continue when a woman with small kids passed, her stroller bumping Megan’s bag. The table rocked and Nic grabbed his coffee.
“So sorry,” the mother said, correcting the stroller one-handed while hanging on to a toddler with the other.
Megan smiled automatically, nudging her bag farther under the table with a foot. “No problem. You’ve got your hands full.”
The mother rolled her eyes and swept past with a smile. Megan watched her vanish into the crowd, looking thoughtful. She lifted the cup to her lips and took her first sip.
“It took me a long time to get on my feet, Nic. I had no job, no way to support us. I needed to get through college so I had some employable skill.”
“Your parents?”
She only shook her head. He didn’t ask, although now that he thought about it, Violet had been his first clue all wasn’t well in that quarter. She’d told him how she’d been stalking him at his condo before following him to Big Mike’s tattoo place. If she’d had a relationship with the Bells, she probably wouldn’t have been burning the night at Insane, Ink. She might have told Jurado to call them when she’d been picked up.
Nic wasn’t sure what he thought about that, except to admit he was surprised. “How’d you manage?”
“The maternity home let me stay for the first few months. They weren’t happy I reneged on my end of the deal, but they are in the business of helping people. They understand that things don’t always work out as planned.”
She sounded as if she was on more solid ground now. “My parents were waiting me out, convinced I would change my mind when the reality of being a single teenage parent set in. That wasn’t going to happen. Not when every second I spent caring for Violet only strengthened my determination to keep her.”
And yet she still hadn’t contacted him, hadn’t given him a chance to help her, or help take care of their daughter. She’d toughed out the situation on her own. He didn’t understand why.
“What about your job? Violet said you travel. You made it through school?”
“Finally. Took forever, I won’t lie. I took online classes in between taking care of Violet and working.” She met his gaze and he thought she was putting on a brave face for his benefit.
“What did you do?”
“I was fortunate. I became friends with a couple at the maternity home. They were like angels. He worked for the consulting firm I’m with now. His wife was a volunteer who liked to travel with him. He hired me as his administrative assistant, and I learned the ropes of dealing with not-for-profits. By the time I finished school, I’d been with the company so long, I stepped into a permanent position as a consultant. I worked my way up from there.”
Nic might not understand all the reasons for the choices she’d made, but he didn’t doubt what she said—that she’d had a long time to consider the effects.
He’d had a couple of hours. No damned wonder he felt like the top of his head was about to blow off. “Did you know Violet was coming here? She’s been sidestepping some of my questions, so I figured she wasn’t telling me everything.”
Megan shook her head as if still disbelieving. “Not a clue. As far as I knew she was at her friend’s house spending the night. I’d spoken to the mom beforehand and Violet texted me at all the right times. Then she didn’t come home…” Her voice trailed off, and he could see a suspicious glint in her eyes.
Nic knew this look. He’d seen it through the years in every frightened parent he’d ever had to face. Kids rebelling. Kids running away. Kids foolishly getting behind the wheel after partying in the Quarter. Sometimes kids guilty of nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time and winding up as tragic statistics.
For the first time since seeing Megan in the crowd at the gate, Nic felt his anger dull, enough maybe even to think past it.
“I am so sorry about everything.” Her voice hitched and she started again. “I never lied to Violet about you, and I was fully prepared to explain the situation when she was ready to hear it. She didn’t give me the chance. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me. But I respect however you feel, and how you choose to handle it.”
She inhaled deeply, shrugged. “I’m not sure where we go from here, but I do hope we can work together to figure out something. I trust that regardless of how you feel about me you’ll put our daughter’s best interests first. If you don’t believe anything else I’ve said, I hope you’ll believe that.”
Suddenly he could see how tired she looked, the bruised smudges beneath her eyes, the tightness around her mouth. She was running on adrenaline, and when Nic thought about it, he could guess what the past few days must have been like for her.
The shock of discovering Violet had disappeared. The worry. The uncertainty. The fear. Toss in the fact that she was going to have to face him and a really long flight, and it was a wonder she was still upright.
Nic didn’t know what to believe, wasn’t going to take the time to figure it out. Not when someone needed to be thinking here. Megan may have gotten off that plane ready to face her past mistakes, but there’d been no way she could anticipate the mess Violet had unknowingly stepped into at a tattoo parlor in the Quarter. But Nic knew.
Their daughter was now an eyewitness to a crime involving a judge on the criminal bench. Being an eyewitness could make Violet vulnerable anywhere, but especially in this city, ranked top in the nation’s criminal activity for a decade running. Nic knew all too well how eyewitnesses could run into trouble around here, which meant getting his head on straight, because he needed to resolve this situation fast.
As usual.
CHAPTER SIX
EVEN VIOLET WAS A LITTLE rattled by how fast her dad unloaded her. He’d wheeled his unmarked car into a handicap space in front of Angelina’s Hair Salon. She couldn’t figure out why they were here, but was going with the flow. Her hair was a wreck but, come on, even though she hadn’t taken a shower since leaving Chile, it couldn’t be that bad.
Jumping out of the car before her dad had a chance to get her door, she followed him inside. The salon wasn’t very big—only four stations—but it was decorated nice with big windows in the front. There was a lady cutting hair at one station and another shampooing at the sinks in the back.
But it was the woman behind the reception desk who caught Violet’s attention. She was an older lady, but really pretty in an older lady sort of way. Makeup and hair were perfect. Her shirt was summery and bright. She even wore matching earrings and necklace. Very put-together, Mom would have said.
She looked up as they entered, peering over her reading glasses, and said instantly, “Nic, what’s wrong?”
Violet couldn’t see her dad’s face, but he stepped aside, put his arm around her shoulders and drew her next to him.
“This is my daughter.” He blurted it out, drawing the attention of everyone in the place. “Can she stay here for a while? I have to pick up her mother.”
The woman behind the desk blinked. Everyone else was staring, too. Violet felt a little awkward, she wasn’t going to lie.
Her dad didn’t even wait for an answer. He looked at her and said, “This is your grandmother. You’ll be okay here until I get back.” Then he headed toward the door.
“She’s not going to be Mary Sunshine, FYI,” Violet called after him. Only fair to give him a heads-up. Mom was already steaming. Sending him to the airport hadn’t been one of the options in her last text.
“Got it,” he said before walking out.
Violet watched him hop in the car and speed off. “Good luck with that.”
She turned to find the whole place filled with people staring at her. Swallowing hard, she looked at the woman behind the desk.
Her grandmother.
“So, what’s your name, gorgeous?” her grandmother asked.
“Violet.”
“That’s beautiful. Matches your beautiful eyes. So you’re my Nic’s little girl?”
Violet nodded, still kind of embarrassed by the way she got dumped here. “I think I freaked him out when I told him Mom was about to land.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that. Big-time, I’ll bet.”
Violet didn’t think that was a bad thing because her grandmother was suddenly smiling. “He’s picking your mother up…at the airport?”
Violet flipped open her phone to check the time. “A flight from Atlanta. She’ll be landing in about ten minutes. Will he get there in time? It shouldn’t be too traffic-y, do you think?”
Her grandmother shook her head, didn’t seem to care that everyone was watching them. “He’ll use his light and siren if he’s in a hurry.”
“Oh, that’s right. He’s the police chief. He can do that.” Violet felt better already. If Mom got off that plane with no one to greet her… That hadn’t been an option, either.
“So you’re from Atlanta?” her grandmother asked.
“No, Chile. There’s a layover in Atlanta.”
Her grandmother looked surprised. “Well, that must be a long flight. And your mother is…?”
“Megan.”
For a moment her grandmother stared, then if possible, her smile grew even bigger. “Megan Bell.”
It wasn’t a question, but Violet nodded anyway.
“Imagine that.” She laughed, a really happy sound. “Well, there’s definitely a story here, Violet, and I want to hear every word.” Popping up from behind the counter, she addressed their audience. “I say we head to the house for lunch, ladies. I’ll whip something up. What do you think?”
She must be a really good cook because everyone liked that idea. The lady at the shampoo bowl said, “I’ll finish here and lock up.”
“Perfect. Lunch will be on the table in thirty minutes. Give or take.” Her grandmother glanced at the hairstylist who stood behind the chair with the scissors still poised over her client’s wet head and said, “Corinne, will you swing by Mauricio’s and pick up some bread?”
“Will do.” Corinne never took her eyes off Violet’s reflection in the mirror. “Want me to cancel your appointments for the rest of the day?”
“You’re a doll,” her grandmother said while circling the desk.
She was a teeny-tiny woman, Violet realized. Even with heels on her sandals, she was barely eye-leve
l with Violet, who wasn’t all that tall herself.
“Are you hungry, gorgeous?”
“Starving,” she admitted.
“Perfect.” Looping their arms together, her grandmother led Violet through the salon. Not toward the front door, but into the back. “I need to let Anthony and Damon know I’m cooking. I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t, and one of them needs to give us a ride home.”
Violet had no idea who Anthony and Damon were and honestly didn’t care. She had a chief dad, a doctor uncle and a really, really cool grandmother.
Did it get any better?
MEGAN WATCHED NIC TOSS his empty cup in the trash, recognizing their interview was over.
“Ready to get Violet?” he asked.
A no-brainer, but Megan nodded, determined to keep things moving as smoothly as possible. “I appreciate you picking me up and giving us a chance to talk privately.”
He inclined his head and led her in the direction of the airport lockers. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.”
She managed a smile at the understatement. “Once I collect Violet, I’ll start making arrangements for a place to stay while we’re in town.”
“Your parents?”
“No, a hotel, I think.” Her plate was brimming at the moment without heaping her parents on. She’d visit, of course, wouldn’t feel right about being in town and not seeing them. But only after she got things settled with Violet and Nic. So much was up in the air right now, and she didn’t have a clue what sort of working situation they’d come up with, couldn’t even begin to formulate a plan until she got a hold of her runaway. “Someplace central so it’s convenient to get around.”
Violet would want to see and do everything, and that would likely start with spending time with her father. Megan wondered how much time Nic would make for her.
“How long can you stay?” he asked.
“As long as it takes,” she answered honestly. “I’m afraid I don’t have a clue what Violet has in mind. And it’s only fair to give you a chance to wrap your brain around this and figure out what you want, too.”
Then There Were Three Page 4
