Minutes later, in the dusky dark interior of the bedroom, Mariah pushed everything from her mind except Finn. With his mouth fastened over hers and the thrusts of his hips driving into hers, thinking became impossible. Tiny bolts of lightning were exploding, creating a glorious network against the stormy swell of her emotions. Inside and out, from her head to her feet, every feminine cell in her body was glowing and aching for the man in her arms.
Pleasure was pouring through her and she wanted to give it all back to him. She wanted to thrill him more and more. She wanted to love him until their hearts had merged so tightly together that years of time could never untangle them.
Suddenly his mouth lifted from hers and his hoarse voice whispered against her cheek. “Oh, Mariah, Mariah—my sweet darling. I can’t get enough of you.”
“Love me, Finn,” she breathlessly pleaded. “Keep on loving me.”
With a needy groan, he rolled them over until his back was against the mattress and Mariah was riding the urgent thrusts of his hips. Gripping his shoulders, she hung on, matching his rhythm even though her lungs were burning, her heart pounding out of control. Like tangled threads, her body grew tighter and tighter until she was wrapped in captive knots.
She was crying his name, searching for relief, when he suddenly crushed her to him and buried his face in the side of her neck. In the next instant his warmth began to spill into her and suddenly she felt everything at once as sensations rocketed through her, blinding her with an ecstasy so great it momentarily stopped her breathing. And like a cornflower beneath a hot, hot sun, she bowed, then wilted completely.
It was long moments later before Mariah realized her cheek was resting against the sheet rather than the cool, grassy ground and the heat of the sun was actually the warmth of Finn’s chest pressed against her back.
Turning into all that delicious warmth, she wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder.
With a contented groan, he lifted a hand to her hair and slowly stroked the thick strands lying against her back.
“Do you know how it makes me feel to have you here in my arms like this?” he asked.
His voice was still husky with desire, and the sound touched her as much as the calloused tips of his fingers. Both sent shivers of pleasure through her that knew no bounds.
“No,” she whispered. “How does it make you feel?”
“Perfect. Absolutely perfect.”
“Nothing is perfect,” she said drowsily.
He chuckled softly. “You’re wrong. I’m holding perfection in my arms.”
Tilting her head back, she studied his face in the growing darkness. “You must have a bottle of wine or something hidden out at the horse barn. You’re thinking is a little cockeyed.”
Groaning, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “My thinking has never been better.”
“Really? This evening during dinner you seemed pretty mixed up about something.”
His expression softened as his hand gently cupped the side of her face. “Hmm, I think I’ve been mixed up ever since I came to Stallion Canyon and laid eyes on you for the first time.”
Her heart slowed as she anxiously tried to read the emotions on his face. There was a serious intensity in his eyes that she hadn’t seen before. And she was suddenly afraid to guess what it might mean.
“That’s understandable,” she said. “Learning about Harry—that he was most likely your son, then coming up here to meet us—that had to be traumatic for you.”
“I’m not talking about Harry now. I’m talking about you. And what you’ve done to me.”
Lifting her hand, she pushed her fingers through the crisp burnished waves above his ear. “And what is that?” she asked softly.
Bending his head, he rubbed his cheek against her. “You’ve made me fall in love with you, my darling.”
Mariah desperately needed to breathe, but her lungs seemed to have suddenly quit working.
“In love?” she whispered. “Is that what you just said?”
Drawing her closer, his hand made wide, sweeping circles across back. “That’s exactly what I said. Why do you sound so surprised? Haven’t I pretty much been saying that to you every night this past week or so?”
She’d wanted to believe the eagerness in his kisses and the urgency of his fiery touches were born from love. She’d even let herself imagine him saying those words to her. Yet she wasn’t that same naive girl who’d once been duped by promises and pretty words. Once Aimee and Kris had betrayed her, she’d closed her heart to believing and hoping she would ever be truly loved.
Her throat suddenly tight, she said, “What you’ve been saying to me these past several nights is that you enjoy having sex with me. That’s something very different than love.”
He pulled back far enough to study her face. “I understand the difference, Mariah. And I can assure you that what I feel for you isn’t just—raw desire. Yes, I want you. Yes, it’s thrilling to have sex with you. But what I’m feeling goes way beyond that.”
Not daring to believe the conviction in his voice, she sat up in the bed and drew the sheet over her breasts. “I don’t know what to say, Finn. I wasn’t expecting anything like this from you.”
He scooted to a sitting position and once he was facing her, reached for her hand. As he wrapped his fingers around hers, she tried to still her racing mind, but it was impossible. What was the matter with her? Why couldn’t she listen to her heart, wrap her arms around him and tell him that she loved him with every fiber of her being?
“Mariah, I’ve thought about this over and over. What I feel for you isn’t going to end. And I—well, I don’t want us to ever be apart. I realize that the first day I was here I asked you to go back to Nevada with me. But I don’t want that now.”
Trembling now, she stared at him. “You don’t? But why? What—”
Before she could finish, he reached for her other hand and drew her closer. “I want us to be married, Mariah. I want the three of us to make our home here.”
Her mouth fell open as she forced herself to breathe. Him and her and Harry together as a family. It would be a dream come true. If she could only believe that weeks and months from now, he’d still be wanting her. That she’d be enough woman to keep him happy.
“I think—you’re getting way ahead of yourself. You haven’t thought this through, Finn. Not completely.”
“What have I not thought through? Marrying you?” he asked wryly. “Or making my home here?”
“Both. We haven’t known each other that long and—”
“Long enough,” he interrupted. “I’ve had plenty of time to realize how much I love you. And this evening, after I read the DNA letter, it dawned on me that everything was coming together. That I couldn’t wait to tell you how I feel.”
Her heart was aching to believe every word he was saying. For days now she’d been wondering how she could possibly go on living once he and Harry moved to Nevada. But she’d been too cautious for too long to simply let herself fall into his arms and promise to marry him. She’d done that once before and ended up getting her heart stomped. But this time there was more than the risk of breaking her heart. Harry’s welfare had to be considered, too.
“Finn, you’re suffering a memory lapse. This ranch is up for sale. You just saw Mr. Larson looking things over this afternoon. He could decide at any moment to put money down and—”
“I want you to contact Ella Clark in the morning and tell her that you’ve changed your mind and you’re not going to sell Stallion Canyon.”
The shock of his words actually caused her to rear back. “Not sell? Finn, the ranch is going under!”
A patient smile curved the corners of his mouth. “Only because it needs someone with money and the experience to run it. I certainly fall into both those categories.”
“But why? You already have a prestigious job—a fancy home back in Nevada. Your family and friends are there and—”
�
�But I want you to be my family, Mariah. You and Harry. The three of us here on Stallion Canyon. You’ve already said that Harry should eventually inherit this ranch. I can make that possible. Even though willing it to Harry might prove to be a problem later on,” he added with a sly grin.
“What do you mean?”
“Our other children might feel like they deserve a part of the ranch, too.”
Other children? Oh God, he was going too fast for her. She couldn’t think beyond this moment. She hadn’t yet been able to completely grasp the notion that he could possibly love her and want to marry her.
“So what about your family? Your work on the Silver Horn? You can just turn your back on all that and stay here? That would be a huge change for you, Finn.”
His hands closed firmly over her shoulders. “For a long time I’ve been thinking I could never be truly happy unless I branched out on my own. This argument I’ve had with my father and grandfather about the mustangs has been going on for a long while. Now I actually own some of them. And this is the perfect place to raise them, to do the kind of work I’ve always dreamed about doing. Can’t you see, Mariah? Everything is just perfect. All you have to do is tell me that you love me. That you want to marry me.”
Perfect. Yes, she thought sickly. It was all too perfect. He couldn’t take his mustangs home to the Silver Horn, so he’d decided that keeping them here and using this ranch for his personal plans would be far more convenient.
“I’m sorry, Finn. I can’t.”
Tears were already gathering at the back of her eyes as she quickly scooted away from him and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
She was pulling on her robe when she heard Finn leave the bed, then the faint rustle of clothing. The next instant, he was standing in front of her, wearing nothing but jeans and a deep frown on his face. And as Mariah’s gaze wandered over his perfectly carved torso and the thick hank of hair falling over his blue eye, she wondered if she’d lost her mind.
To have this man as her husband, under any circumstances, would be enough to make most any woman happy. But for as long as she could remember, she’d settled for less. Aimee had been the one who’d been loved and adored by every male who’d gotten within speaking distance of the two sisters. While Mariah had been grateful for any crumbs of affection that were left over. But she was finished with being grateful. Of selling herself short.
“Can you give me one good reason?” he asked gruffly.
Lifting her chin, her gaze defiantly met his. “I want a man to marry me because he loves me. Not because it’s convenient. Or gives him everything he wants in one neat little package. No thanks, Finn.”
“Then you’re turning me down flat?”
He sounded incredulous, and anger spurted through her. No doubt he’d figured she was so weak-minded and besotted with him that the idea of her refusing his proposal had never entered his mind.
“Not only am I turning you down, but I think you need to start making plans to leave here. The sooner, the better!”
A muscle jumped in his jaw and for a split second, Mariah would’ve sworn she saw pain shadow his eyes. But as he silently turned and left the room, she couldn’t be sure about anything, except that her heart had just splintered into a pile of painful pieces.
Chapter Eleven
The next morning Finn made sure he was out of the house before Mariah appeared in the kitchen for coffee. It would’ve been unbearable to sit across from her at the breakfast table, sharing a morning meal as though they were still a couple.
A couple. Had they ever been truly that? he wondered dismally. He’d thought so. Ever since that night the filly had been born and the two of them had first made love, he’d believed something rich and real had happened between them. And last night, before he’d proposed to her, he’d been sure he felt love in her kisses, heard it in her sighs.
But now she wanted him gone. She wanted nothing to do with marrying him. She refused to consider the three of them making a home on this beautiful ranch. Why had she twisted his hopes and dreams? His plans for their future together?
I want a man to marry me because he loves me. Not because it’s convenient. Or gives him everything he wants in one neat little package.
In spite of the long, miserable hours that had passed since she’d said those words to him, they were still echoing through him, tormenting him with frustration.
Oh God, why would she think he was using her just to get a ranch? Hell, all it took to get a piece of land was money. And he had plenty of that. He’d have no problem acquiring land for his mustangs. But he couldn’t come up with another woman. Not one that he loved to distraction. Not one that he wanted to be with until his life on this earth was over.
So what are you going to do now, Finn? She’s ordered you to leave. Maybe you ought to head back to the house and put up a persuasive argument.
The cynical voice in his head had him groaning as he paused beneath the shed row. If he had to argue and plead to get a woman to marry him, then she clearly wasn’t the wife he needed.
A black rubber feed bucket was sitting at the gate to one of the stalls. Finn flipped it over and once he’d taken a seat, pulled out his cell phone. At this hour of the morning, Sassy had more than likely fed the kids and headed out to the barn.
His sister answered on the second ring, and the sound of her cheerful voice caused his heart to wince. She was the one person who seemed to truly understand him.
“Finn, how did you guess I was just about to call you?”
“I have telepathy with my sister. But I can’t guess what you were going to call me about. You sound happy about something.”
“Oh, I am! And you’re going to be the first to hear. After Jett, that is. I’m pregnant!”
Her announcement almost had him forgetting his own problems. But not quite. Just the mention of the word had him envisioning Mariah carrying his child.
“Pregnant? Again? Are you kidding me?”
Sassy laughed. “Why, no. Why do you sound so amazed? You knew that Jett and I wanted a big family. This one will only be number three.”
“Well, yes, I was aware that you two wanted more kids, but little Skyler was only born a few months ago! Don’t you need a rest?”
His question brought another crow of laughter from her. “Me rest? Finn, I’ll do that when I get old. Besides, Gypsy is a wonderful nanny. When I’m out working with the cattle or horses, I don’t have to worry one second about the kids. I know she’s taking care of everything.”
Yes, Sassy had been lucky in finding the young Shoshone woman to care for her children. If only he could be that lucky in finding a nanny for Harry, Finn thought. Because it was quite obvious that Mariah wasn’t going to be around to make sure his son had the care he needed.
“Well, if you and Jett are happy about the coming baby, then I’m thrilled, too.”
“Awww, thanks, dear brother, I knew you’d be happy for me,” she said with affection, then swiftly changed the subject. “So what were you calling about? You got news about the DNA?”
Oh Lord, it seemed like it had been days ago since he’d opened that letter, instead of last night. So much had happened that his head was still spinning. And his heart—well, the pain it was causing him was so excruciating it was indescribable.
“Last evening. I’m Harry’s father, all right.”
“Oh, Finn. That’s wonderful. Are you happy about it?”
“I’m happy and relieved. I think I loved him from the moment I held him in my arms.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “So we’ll be coming home—probably tomorrow. That’s why I’m calling. I need your help.”
“Sure. Anything.”
He looked over at the mares milling about in the paddock. The two that had already foaled were now out to pasture with their babies. The other three he’d kept confined so that he could keep a close watch on their progress.
“I’ve bought ten mustangs plus two new babies and I need to find a place to put t
hem for a while. Until I can come up with a permanent spot to keep them. I thought—maybe you had a few acres I could use. That land on the north edge of your ranch is still empty, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but there’s no water there yet. Unless it rains. And God only knows when that might happen. But forget about that. You can use the section on the west side of the ranch. We don’t have any cattle on it right now. And the windmill is in good working order. You might have to feed them a bit, but I think they’ll find a little to graze on.”
“But you might need that pasture soon, Sassy. Jett might not like the idea of me using it.”
She laughed as though his suggestion was ludicrous. “I run the ranch. Jett runs his law office. Whatever decisions I make about the livestock or land are fine with him. Besides, he loves you. He’ll be glad we could help.”
Finn swallowed at the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. “Thanks, Sassy. I really appreciate it. What with Dad and Gramps—”
“You don’t have to explain, Finn. You and I have talked about this before. Frankly, I’m really happy that you’ve taken this step. It’s something you’ve always wanted to do. And you’re going to do great with the mustangs. I just know it.”
“Hearing you say that means a lot to me. Especially—”
He broke off as his gaze strayed toward the house. Now wasn’t the time to explain his broken relationship with Mariah. Maybe later after he’d gotten back to Nevada, he could talk to Sassy about it.
“Especially, what?” she prompted when he didn’t go on. “Is anything wrong, Finn? You don’t exactly sound like yourself.”
“I’m fine. What with getting Harry ready to go and making arrangements for the horses to be shipped, I have a lot to deal with.”
“Dealing with a thousand things at once has always been easy for you, Finn. And you do it with a happy grin. But you don’t sound exactly happy to me right now. Having a new son without any time to prepare to become a dad would be pretty overwhelming. If you need me to help, Finn, just tell me. Gypsy can handle one more baby…if you’d like to come stay with us for a while.”
Daddy Wore Spurs (Mills & Boon Cherish) (Men of the West, Book 32) Page 15
