The Pretty Committee Strikes Back

by Lisi Harrison

  Alicia responded by biting her bottom lip and nodding slowly.

  “Why did you two stop walking?” Massie called over her shoulder.

  “We have to keep moving east if we're ever going to find our way out of here. It looks like we're losing light,” Kristen added.

  Claire and Alicia ignored them and continued staring into each other's eyes.

  “Oh yeah?” Claire wanted to stop herself from saying what she was about to say, but it was too late. Common sense was no longer the gatekeeper of her words: anger was. “Well, I have the memory of kissing Josh and Cam to keep me warm.”

  Everyone stopped.

  “Really?” Alicia folded her arms across her chest and shifted her weight to one leg. “Well, at least I have hair on my forehead to keep me warm.”

  Claire resisted the urge to tug on her short blond bangs.

  “That's just great, because I haaaave …” Claire stalled while she searched for something bad to say about Alicia's looks. But it wasn't easy. “I have … I have room in my sweater to keep me warm.”

  “Well, you won't have room in those Gap jeans if you keep eating those sours when you think we're not looking.” Alicia looked at Dylan when she said that.

  Claire's body shook with rage.

  “You have food?” Dylan was too excited to be resentful.

  “Hand it over.” Massie held out her palm.

  Claire reached into her pocket and pulled out the bag. She felt a pinch behind her eyes and begged herself not to cry. They would think it was because she was giving up her secret food stash, but that wasn't it at all. Claire didn't want them trivializing Cam's gift by calling it food. The gummies and sours were so much more than that. They were love tokens—her love tokens.

  Massie stuck her open hand under Claire's nose. Claire slapped the bag in Massie's palm and looked away.

  “Seriously, Claire.” Kristen sounded disappointed. “How would you like it if I led myself out of here and left you all in the dirt to die?” She dug her hand into the open bag Massie passed around.

  “I'd love to see that.” Dylan chomped down on a green gummy.

  “See what?”

  “See you find your way out of here.” Dylan chewed. “Because I think you're just as clueless as we are.”

  “Really?” Kristen took a step toward Dylan and pointed a finger in her face. “Then you lead.” She sat down on a fallen log and crossed her legs.

  “No way,” Alicia pleaded. “Dyl, I love you to death but you can't get us out of here. You don't even know which way east is.”

  “No one does.” Massie twirled her necklace around her finger.

  “You do,” Claire said softly.

  “Huh?” Massie looked annoyed.

  “You know which way east is.”

  Massie put her hands on her hips. “What's that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you have a compass around your neck.” Claire pointed at the gold chain Massie had been tugging on all morning.

  “What?” Massie looked down. “Oh yeah.” She giggled.

  Claire wanted to remind everyone it was the third time she had saved them, but it was too late. The girls were already hugging Massie and jumping up and down, calling her their hero.

  “Okay, okay.” She pushed them away. “Let's not break it.” Massie pulled the necklace over her head and closed her palm around it.

  “Lemme see it.” Kristen was obviously anxious to see if she had been leading them in the right direction.

  “Not until everyone makes up.” Massie held her closed fist behind her back.

  Everyone's smiles quickly faded.

  “Go on.” Massie pointed her chin at Dylan. “Why don't you start?”

  “Why me?”

  “Because you were the one who ran out here in the first place.”

  “Yeah, well, no one told you to follow me.”

  “Fine.” Massie smirked. “Then I'll start. I'm sorry I followed you out here. I really, really am. Be-lieve me.”

  Everyone giggled. Even Dylan cracked a smile.

  “Dylan, I'm sorry I said you didn't know which way east was,” Alicia offered. “I'm sure you do.”

  “Forgiven.” Dylan waved her away like it had been no big deal.

  “Now can I please check the compass?” Kristen said

  “Not yet.” Massie looked at Claire and Alicia.

  Alicia turned away.

  “Kuh-laire.” Massie folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot impatiently.

  “Fine.” Claire knew Massie was right. It was time to end this feud and she certainly had a lot to apologize for, so why not go first? At least if they died out here, she'd go with a clean conscience.

  “Alicia, I'm sorry I kissed Josh, but I honestly thought you said you were over him.” Alicia didn't say anything, so Claire continued. “And I only did it because I was upset about Cam liking Nina. I was never trying to steal him away from you. I swear.”

  “Why didn't you just tell me? I spent all week acting like a total LBR trying to figure out who he liked.”

  “I guess I was scared you'd be mad.” Claire lifted her eyes to meet Alicia's, even though she was deathly afraid of what she might see in them. “Or that you'd try to get back at me.”

  “Puh-lease, that's so unlike me.” Alicia batted her eyelashes with exaggerated innocence.

  Claire looked to the others, hoping for a little backup. Everyone looked away. “Is it really so unlike you to seek revenge?”

  Alicia giggled nervously. Her cheeks turned bright red.

  Claire could tell she was making Alicia uncomfortable. It felt too good to stop. “I would have gladly told you about Josh if I thought for one second you'd try to understand. But that's not something you like to do, is it? You'd much rather plan and plot and—”

  “That's enough.” Alicia held her palm in front of Claire's face. “What did you expect me to do, Kuh-laire? Thank you for stabbing me in the back? Hand you your knife back in case you ever wanted to use it again?”

  Alicia was totally right. Claire had betrayed her friend and had been more concerned with the punishment than the crime. Was it because it seemed impossible to, imagine the beautiful and popular Alicia as a victim? Or had Claire been too busy thinking about her own feelings to even try? Either way, she knew she had been wrong.

  “I'm really, really sorry, Alicia. I didn't mean to hurt you.” The puddle of tears in Claire's eyes proved that this time she actually meant what she said, and for all the right reasons.

  “It's okay.” Alicia's voice was forgiving. “I'm sorry for using Cam to get back at you.”

  “Friends?” Claire looked up. She held out her arms.

  “No way,” Alicia snapped. “Not after that underwear thing you pulled.”

  Claire had forgotten all about that.

  “Alicia Rivera's underwear-a,” Dylan chanted.

  “It's not funny!” Alicia stomped her foot.

  “It kind of is.” Massie covered her mouth.

  Everyone laughed except Alicia. But the tops of her lips curled up like she wanted to.

  “You have to promise to tell everyone it wasn't mine,” Alicia insisted.

  “Promise.”

  “Then forgiven.” Alicia smiled.

  “Thanks.” Claire smiled back.

  “World peace?” Massie lifted her little fingers. The girls gathered around her and stood in a tight circle, linked by their pinkies.

  “World peace,” they echoed.

  “Can I see that compass now?'“ Kristen was bouncing up and down on her toes.

  “Yup.” Massie handed it to her.

  Kristen examined the needle, then tilted the round face from side to side. “Oops,” she said under her breath. She turned her body to the left. “Everyone ready?”

  “Were you trying to get us lost on purpose so you wouldn't have to go back?” Dylan asked.

  “I may be scared of my parents, but I'm more afraid of starving to death,” Kristen said.


  “Don't worry,” Alicia assured them. “My father will fix all of this.”

  “So will mine,” Massie offered.

  “Mine too,” Claire lied. The only thing her father could do was cheer them up by doing a funny dance or singing with a mouthful of Double-Stuf Oreos.

  “Great, then off we go.” Kristen wiped her eyes and led them back the way they'd come.

  “Look, high-heel prints.” Alicia pointed to the soft ground. “Dylan, do you think your mother is out here looking for us?”

  “Those are deer tracks.” Kristen rolled her eyes.

  “People eat deer, you know.” Dylan perked up.

  “I'd rather eat my arm than eat a cute little deer.” Massie held her hand to her heart.

  “I wouldn't mind eating your arm either,” Dylan said.

  “What?” Alicia giggled.

  “It's true,” Dylan said. “If I had to eat one of us for survival, I'd pick Massie.”

  “Thanks.” Massie smiled with pride.

  “Why her?” Kristen sounded offended.

  “Because there's no fat on her but she's not too skinny either,” Dylan explained. “She'd be like a quail or a small chicken.”

  “What's wrong with me?” Kristen whined.

  “A little too muscular.” Dylan quickly dismissed her absurd suggestion. “You'd be too gamey.”

  “Fine with me,” Kristen said. “It's not like I want to be cooked.”

  “Sounds like you do,” Massie teased.

  “And Claire.” Dylan tapped her temple. “You'd make a nice little dessert.”

  “Thanks.” Claire wasn't sure if she had just been complimented or not, but she was grateful to have been included.

  “Hey, doesn't anyone like breast meat?” Alicia opened her jacket and flashed her tight-fitting sweater.

  They all burst out laughing.

  “Ehmagawd, I'm so going to pee in my pants.” Alicia doubled over and held her bladder.

  “Just squat,” Kristen suggested.

  “Ew, no way.” Alicia rolled her eyes.

  “Pee in your pants,” Dylan suggested. “They'll dry.”

  “You're disgusting.” Massie playfully slapped her friend on the arm.

  “Maybe.” Dylan smiled. “But at least I'm warm.” She lifted her long, olive green DKNY cardigan and revealed a massive wet spot around her crotch.

  “Ew!” They shouted and took off; even Alicia ran away.

  “Come back and give me a hug.” Dylan stretched out her arms and chased after them. The louder they screamed, the harder she laughed. “You can't escape the pee-pee monster!” she shouted over and over again. “Urine trouble! Get back here.”

  The girls ran as fast as they could. They were choking on their laughter and tripping over each other as Dylan chased them right out of the woods.

  All of a sudden they were back in camp, not even knowing how they'd gotten there.

  “Urine for it!” Dylan shouted from a few feet behind them. She had no idea her victims were now standing by the fire pit while Mr. Myner stared at them in” disgust.

  He kept his eyes on them as he spoke into his walkie-talkie. “I have a twenty on the missing girls, over.”

  “Are they all safe and accounted for? Over,” the voice said back.

  Mr. Myner was about to answer when Dylan shot out of the woods. She was running on her toes, her arms stretched out over her head and her legs splayed out to the sides like she was doing the funky chicken dance.

  “Come give the pee-pee monster a big hug,” she shouted. She stopped the second she realized everyone was staring at her.

  Kristen's phlegmy laugh was the only sound anyone heard after that.

  Finally, after a long, uncomfortable stare-down, Mr. Myner broke the silence. “Do you have any idea how many people have been looking for you?”

  “Pickles.” Merri-Lee hugged her daughter as hard as she possibly could.

  “Ew,” Alicia said under her breath.

  The girls lost it at the thought of Merri-Lee pressed up against the pee-pee monster.

  “Where's my crew?” She pulled away from her daughter and looked around the campsite. “Why wasn't anyone shooting our reunion?”

  “Are you okay?” Cam rushed over to Claire.

  “Yeah.” Claire relaxed her eyelids, trying to look weak and forlorn.

  A group of girls surrounded Massie until Derrington arrived. Then they stepped back to give the happy couple some private time to reconnect.

  “Girls, hurry to the dining pavilion and get some food before it's all cleared away,” Mr. Myner ordered.

  “Awesome, you're the best!” Dylan blurted out, temporarily forgetting the grudge she had been holding against him.

  The other girls hugged Mr. Myner and thanked him endlessly for his compassion.

  “Please meet me in my quarters in twenty minutes,” he said, refusing to hug them back. His stiff, stoic posture reminded Claire of the tall trees that had been staring down at them all morning.

  “You got it,” Massie shouted.

  The girls raced toward the dining pavilion, salivating for whatever scraps they could salvage from lunch.

  “Maybe it's a good thing he's in love with my mother,” Dylan said.

  “I know,” Alicia agreed. “He's so going to let us off the hook.”

  “I bet if you start calling him Dad, he'll forget the whole thing ever happened.” Massie giggled.

  Claire laughed too, knowing the worst was behind her. She'd kissed Cam, made up with Alicia, and was finally out of the woods.

  Or so it seemed.

  LAKE PLACID, NEW YORK FOREVER WILD CAMPSITE MR. MYNER'S QUARTERS

  Wednesday, February 25th 2:11 P.M.

  “Kill me now.” Dylan found her mother's green-and-yellow silk twill Hèrmes pocket scarf behind the leather pillow on Mr. Myner's couch.

  “Ew.” Alicia winced when she saw it.

  Massie found more than Merri-Lee's scarf unsettling. It was creepy in general being in Mr. Myner's quarters. It smelled like a combination of Irish Spring soap and burnt coffee.

  Behind them, in the center of the room, was his four-post bed. It was half-made. His navy-and-red plaid comforter had been haphazardly pulled up but had not been smoothed out or tucked in. And the pillows still had dents in their centers from where his big head and thick hair must have lain all night. Ew! Even though he was better looking than most teachers, the image of him sleeping was borderline repulsive. Did he drool? Snore? Have brutal morning breath? Massie shook those thoughts away as quickly as they'd come. She longed for the powdery, perfumey fragrance of the girls' cabin.

  “Do you really think he's outside calling our parents?” Kristen sniffled.

  “I know he's been in close contact with Dylan's.” Massie couldn't help herself.

  “Shut up.” Dylan whipped the scarf at Massie's face.

  Claire twisted the empty candy bag around her hand. Her fingers started turning different shades of purple and Massie looked away.

  “Can I use that?” Kristen sniffled and reached for Merri-Lee's scarf. Massie handed it to her without a second thought.

  “Relax, Kristen.” Dylan rubbed her friend on the back. “We are not going to get into any trouble. He's just trying to teach us a lesson.”

  Kristen dabbed her eyes. “So you don't think he's really calling anyone?”

  “I bet he is,” Alicia speculated. “But my parents will blame him, not me. He lost us. Remember that.”

  Kristen burst into tears. “Yeah, but I wasn't even supposed to be here. My mom thinks I'm at a soccer match.”

  The five girls crossed their legs and sat up straight when they heard Mr. Myner clomping up the steps outside his quarters.

  “Shhhh.” Massie leaned across the couch and slapped Kristen on the thigh. “Dylan's dad is coming.”

  “Daaaaad,” Dylan burped.

  The girls were cracking up when he walked in.

  “That's good, ladies, get it all out.” He clos
ed the door behind him. “Because you may never laugh again.”

  He poured himself a cup of coffee from the black cappuccino maker on top of his mini-fridge. Then he lifted the brown ceramic mug to his nose and savored the aroma like he was in a Maxwell House commercial. For a minute Massie wondered if he'd forgotten they were there. His casual demeanor was starting to make her nervous.

  Mr. Myner set the mug on the mantel, unlaced his hiking boots, and set them neatly by the door. The steam from his coffee rose in ribbons and swirls, floated away, and vanished. It had no idea how lucky it was.

  Finally, he hooked his palm through the handle of his mug and settled into the tan leather club chair by the fire-place. After a loud, slurpy sip, Mr. Myner uncrossed his legs and angled his body toward the girls on the couch.

  “What you did today was very dangerous,” he began, sounding like a concerned father. He wasn't mad, just worried. Massie felt the tension in her shoulders melt away. The worst was over.

  “But what also concerns me is how long it took you to find your way back to camp.” His eyes narrowed and the muscles on the sides of his jaw pulsated. “To think that we've spent the past three days learning how to navigate in the wilderness, and you lost your way on a marked trail.” He wiped his brow with his hand. “It sickens me.”

  Massie raised her hand. “I think we would have had an easier time getting back if you hadn't taken our cell phones and two-ways.” She looked at the others for reinforcement. They nodded their heads in agreement. “I mean, we totally would have called—we just couldn't.”

  “The idea, Ms. Block, was to teach you how to survive without these things,” he spat. “Which just furthers my point. The whole lesson was completely lost on you.”

  “I studied the map trails,” Kristen offered. “I knew we had to go east.”

  “Then why did it take you five hours to find us?” Mr. Myner ran his hand through his hair. “If you'd gone east, it would have taken you five minutes.” He paused. “And what exactly are you doing on this trip anyway?”

  Kristen dabbed her eyes with the Hermes scarf.

  “I warned you about the consequences if any of you took off into the woods, did I not?”

  No one said a word.

  “If anything had happened to you girls, OCD would have been faced with so many lawsuits, the school would have had to close its doors forever.”