by E. M. Foner
Last Night on Union Station
Book Sixteen of EarthCent Ambassador
Copyright 2019 by E. M. Foner
One
“In conclusion, it is the view of Union Station Embassy that by inviting alien observers to our upcoming Conference of Sovereign Human Communities convention, we will not only put to rest any lingering fears on the part of the advanced species about CoSHC’s mission, but will also increase the profile of and participation in this year’s associated trade fair, making it the biggest business event on humanity’s calendar.”
“Which calendar are you referring to?” the Stryx librarian asked the ambassador.
“It’s an expression, Libby,” Kelly replied. “I meant to express that it’s really important for us.”
“Would you like me to dub that in?”
“No need, thank you. Just go ahead and send the report.” Kelly glanced down at the replacement for her alien knock-off of a Swiss wristwatch. “Funny to think that it’s almost midnight at the president’s office on Earth. Life will be much simpler when we implement Universal Human Time on the stations, but I don’t look forward to losing seven hours in one go. Couldn’t we set the clock back instead of forward so everybody can sleep in?”
“We’ve been through this already, Ambassador. You would end up a full day behind the other locations adopting Universal Human Time. Moving your clock forward is the only logical solution.”
“Since when do humans have to be logical?”
“I can’t do anything about the fact that you’re going to lose seven hours, but if you’d like, I could start cheating the time forward a few minutes a day on the implants of our residents who live by your clock. By the date the change officially takes place, you’d be all caught up.”
“That would be great, but we’re up to nearly a half million humans on Union Station at last count. If we can’t get them all to go along with the gradual change, I’ll have to keep coming into the office on their schedules and I’ll end up stuck here fifteen hours a day.”
“I’ve done this in the past for other species who needed to adjust their clocks and the key to success is to synchronize entertainment offerings. When their favorite show is on the line, most sentients adapt in a hurry.”
“But how will that affect Aisha’s broadcasts?” Kelly asked. “I don’t want to be responsible for millions of little sentients around the galaxy missing her program.”
“The galactic viewership for ‘Let’s Make Friends’ is in the hundreds of billions, and none of the alien children live on your clock, much less a twenty-four-hour day. While the broadcasts do go out live over our Stryxnet, the vast majority of the audience watches it with a planned delay or on-demand.”
“You’re serious about this? All I have to do is say ‘Yes’ and you’ll start moving the time forward? What about all of the people who use your Stryxnet communication services for business conferences or to call family?”
“When you need to contact another ambassador or the president’s office, how do you figure out what time it is where they are?”
“I ask you,” Kelly admitted. “Do you mean I’m not the only one?”
“EarthCent Intelligence keeps a row of clocks on the wall that display the times in large human communities and key alien capitals all over the galaxy, but it’s strictly for the aesthetic. Everybody who uses our real-time communications services makes sure to ask what time it is where they’re calling first. The fees are too high to make mistakes.”
“I guess I’m spoiled by being a diplomat. Is Donna still here? I’d like to get her opinion, and Daniel’s too.”
“As it happens, your embassy manager is conferring with the associate ambassador about vendor invitations for the CoSHC trade show as we speak. I’ll let them know you want to talk as soon as she finishes explaining to him how the load-in scheduling works at the Empire Convention Center.”
“Dorothy is going to be running a booth for SBJ Fashions at the trade show. She’s displayed much more patience about returning to work after delivering the baby than I ever expected. I thought she’d rush back, but little Margie just turned six months old.”
“Dorothy’s alien friends would have been scandalized if she tried to return to work sooner,” Libby said. “Frunge and Vergallian mothers take a minimum leave of several years after having a baby, but your daughter talked them into prorating based on your abbreviated lifespans.”
“Abbreviated. That’s a nice way of putting it. Did you know that Jeeves actually gave Dorothy a raise went she went out on maternity leave?”
“I handle all of the back office work for SBJ Fashions. And it wasn’t so much a raise as an incentive to stay home with the baby.”
“Really? I didn’t know Jeeves was so sensitive to family issues.”
“I suspect you’re not aware of how much company money your daughter spends on developing new products while she’s working. The last six months have been more profitable for SBJ Fashions than all of the prior reporting periods combined.”
“That’s not a fair comparison. Dorothy told me that the markup on Baa’s Bags for role players is enormous, and it’s been the fastest growing part of the business the last year.”
“Magic sells,” Libby acknowledged.
“So, is there any chance you could find Margie with your security imaging while I’m waiting?”
A hologram of the baby asleep in a bassinet appeared floating over the display desk. The ambassador watched her granddaughter’s regular breathing before letting out a long sigh of her own.
“Daniel and Donna are finished,” Libby announced. “Will you meet them in here or in the conference room?”
“The conference room, of course.” Kelly removed her purse from the desk and reluctantly turned away from the hologram that she didn’t have the heart to wave out of existence. On exiting her office, she glanced toward the reception desk to see if Donna was still there, but the embassy manager had already entered the conference room, where the ambassador found her waiting with Daniel.
“Was there a problem with your weekly report?” Donna inquired.
“No, more of an opportunity. I was chatting with Libby about Universal Human Time and she offered to start creeping all of the clocks and schedules she controls forward so we don’t lose seven hours all at once. Since it will affect all of the humans on the station, I wanted to get your input first.”
“Makes sense to me,” Daniel said. “Do you realize that the only places on Earth that share the same time as us are a couple of uninhabited islands in the middle of the Pacific?”
“Are you sure?” Kelly asked, looking up at the beach-ball sized lacquer-on-copper globe suspended over the conference table.
“I was curious myself and I checked with Libby,” Donna confirmed, standing up and pointing at some tiny dots surrounded by blue on the globe’s surface. “She said that Dring exaggerated the size of the islands a little when he made the globe because they wouldn’t have been visible otherwise.”
“I miss Dring. He said he’d be back soon, but he left right after Dorothy had the baby, so it’s been almost six months.”
“Maybe he lost track of the time. The Makers are immortal, and I imagine their meetings can drag on for quite a while.”
“And he has plenty to report to his brothers,” Daniel pointed out. “Joe said that it’s Dring’s first real trip off of Union Station since revealing himself to the Stryx.”
“So both of you are sure about asking Libby to start creeping our clocks forward?” Kelly asked.
“The only problem I see is for visitors to my convention,
and I’ll just make an announcement at the opening session to remind people using dumb watches to move their own time forward,” Daniel said. “I’m sure that the Stryx can finagle the clock on anything that connects to the station networks.”
“Is that right, Libby?”
“It doesn’t even require intervention on my part,” the station librarian replied. “All of the tabs and other wireless devices used by your people automatically update their time from the network because it’s considered a trusted source.”
“And we’re going to lie to them.”
“It’s just an arbitrary number,” Donna pointed out. “That’s why being so far out of sync with Earth only matters to diplomats and businessmen who can afford real-time conferencing. And it’s only the human populations on Stryx stations and a few orbitals that are making the switch to Universal Human Time.”
“That’s right,” Daniel added. “The majority of delegates coming to the convention live on open worlds with suns, and all of them adopt the local alien clocks.”
“Alright, Libby,” the ambassador said. “Go ahead and start. How much time a day are we going to lose?”
“Just over seven minutes, you won’t even notice,” the Stryx librarian assured her. “I’ll tell Jeeves to come in and change the rotation speed on Dring’s globe to keep it from going out of sync.”
“Did you finish filling out our application for the Open University’s cooperative education program, Donna?”
“I sent it in this afternoon,” the embassy manager replied.
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your son changing majors, would it?” Daniel asked the ambassador while struggling to maintain a straight face. “I’d hate to have to report you for nepotism.”
“That’s the great thing about it,” Kelly said. “Because the Open University selects the co-op students to fill available positions, there’s no ethical dilemma.”
“If you need me to step in and interview the candidates, just say the word. I’m looking forward to having Samuel help me out with CoSHC.”
“There is no interview process,” Donna informed them. “The school administration, meaning you-know-who, assigns the students to their jobs. Vivian signed up for the program at the same time as Samuel. She’s hoping to work for her father at EarthCent Intelligence, but it’s not her decision. She could just as easily end up here.”
“How long has EarthCent Intelligence been offering co-op jobs?” Kelly asked.
“They just started after I told them about it,” Donna said with a grin. “Vivian originally planned to take an internship there, but the cooperative program pays the students.”
“The Open University funds it?”
“They handle the payroll, but we have to reimburse them. Didn’t you read the application?”
“I have you for that,” the ambassador replied. “Before I forget, do either of you want a credenza?”
“Is that what the Frunge currency is called?” Daniel asked.
“No, it’s a sideboard.” Kelly noted her associate ambassador’s lack of comprehension and added, “A piece of furniture, for your dining room.”
“You’d have to ask my wife. Shaina gets mad if I bring anything like that home without checking with her first.”
“Stanley and I have too much of our own junk to start taking yours,” Donna said bluntly. “We’re thinking of downsizing ourselves.”
“Tell Shaina it’s the one that Mike hid in the time that he and Fenna played hide and seek at our place and we had to have the dogs sniff them out,” Kelly said to Daniel. “Joe traded somebody for it before we got married, but we just don’t have the room anymore.”
“Because you keep adding bookshelves,” Daniel observed. “If Shaina doesn’t want it, should I ask around if anybody else I know does?”
“Would you? We have lots of stuff we’re trying to get rid of, I mean, place in a good home.”
“You should have a tag sale,” Donna suggested. “You have plenty of room.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Kelly mused. “I haven’t seen a tag sale since I was a little girl, but our book sale to raise money for Flower a few years ago was a great success.”
“Hey, could Stanley and I bring some of our stuff?”
“I’m trying to get rid of junk, not add to it.”
“But you need to achieve critical mass to get people interested,” Donna argued. “It’s not like mobs of shoppers are going to show up at Mac’s Bones because you list a credenza and an old sink for sale on one of the station boards.”
“Let me talk to Joe first,” the ambassador said. “He’s the one who will be stuck getting rid of everything if it doesn’t sell.”
“Don’t be surprised if it adds fuel to the rumor,” Daniel said.
“What rumor?” both women asked simultaneously.
“You know, the one about Gryph selling Union Station.”
“What? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Kelly said. “The Stryx haven’t sold a station since they began building them tens of millions of years ago. Why would they start now?”
“I’ve heard it from more than one person,” the associate ambassador said. “I know it sounds unlikely, but—”
“Union Station is Gryph’s home. I don’t know if you can even separate the two.”
“Libby?” Donna asked. “Is your parent really thinking about selling Union Station?”
“Certainly not,” the station librarian replied.
“Then where is the rumor coming from?”
“That’s competitive information.”
“You realize by saying that, you’re only giving the rumor mongers something to talk about,” Kelly said. “People will think that Gryph is shopping it around quietly to prevent a panic that could drive down the price.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Libby said. “Don’t you trust me?”
“We trust you, but we aren’t the ones spreading the rumors. You know that humans aren’t the only species that believes where there’s smoke there’s fire.”
“I just don’t want this interfering with my convention,” Daniel said. “It won’t have any impact on attendance from CoSHC members, but some of the alien businessmen I’ve invited to the trade show implied that they were taking a wait-and-see approach with everything on Union Station in case the ownership changes hands.”
“See what I mean about aliens and rumors, Libby?” the ambassador said. “They’re worse than we are.”
“I heard a rumor that you’ll be giving the keynote address,” Donna said to her friend. “Are you going to write a speech or wing it as usual?”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘extemporize’ and I already have a rough draft,” Kelly fibbed.
The conference room door opening directly onto the corridor slid open of its own accord and Jeeves came rolling through on his rarely used treads.
“Am I interrupting anything important?” he asked.
“Trick question,” Kelly warned Daniel and Donna. “He’s looking for an opening to debate whether anything humans do can possibly be important.”
“Actually, I’m here to adjust Earth’s rotational speed.” The young Stryx floated up from the floor and approached Dring’s globe. Then he extended his pincer to grip the motorized ceiling mount, flashed a few lights on his metallic casing, and declared, “All set.”
“You just gave me the chills,” Donna said. “Blythe loaned me one of her translated Dollnick romance novels in which the villain did some sort of high-tech voodoo with whole planets using globes he’d made to represent them. He could flick a drop of water at one of them and there would be a terrible flood, or hold a candle below it and cause a giant inferno.”
“What happened in the end?” Daniel asked.
“The hero killed the villain and got the girl. You wouldn’t like it. The Dollnick authors write really steamy sex scenes.”
“I heard mention that you’re planning a tag sale,” Jeeves said. “I might h
ave a few things that I’d be willing to bring by on consignment.”
“We were just talking about how rumors get started,” Kelly told him. “Don’t you think it would look funny if people knew that you were dumping possessions like you were preparing to move?”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“I’m talking about the rumor that Gryph is selling Union Station.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard today, and given the amount of eavesdropping I do, that’s saying something.”
“I have to get going, Kelly,” Donna said, rising from her chair. “We’re having the girls and their husbands over for dinner, adults only for a change.”
“That reminds me, it’s been forever since we had a get-together at Mac’s Bones,” Kelly said. “Why don’t we plan one for as soon as the conference is over. I’ll have Joe fire up the bar-b-que and everybody can dress casual.”
“How casual?” Daniel asked suspiciously. “Work-clothes-casual to help you set up for a tag sale?”
“All right already. You guys can bring the stuff you want to get rid of too.”
“I’ll ask Shaina,” the associate ambassador gave his stock answer. “The kids have grown out of a lot of their toys and it’s surprisingly hard to find somebody who wants them. Maybe adding a price tag will do the trick.”
“See you both on Monday,” Kelly called after her co-workers as they left the conference room. Then she turned to Jeeves, who showed no signs of moving. “Is there something you needed to talk about?”
“I’ll get right to the point. Dorothy is officially returning to work next week to start preparing for the CoSHC convention and I want to know if you think she’s ready to leave the baby at home.”
“You want me to get into the middle of an argument between you and my daughter? I don’t think so.”
“Great. See you later.”
“Hold on a second,” Kelly said, surprising herself with the speed at which she got between Jeeves and the door. “Did you just record our conversation to play to Dorothy?”
“I’m not aware of any law against it.”
