“Watch it, Mom!” Myles said.
She braked just in time to miss the deer dashing across the highway in front of her. The pounding doubled.
Dear Lord— She cut the involuntary prayer short.
“That was a close one.”
“You’ve got that right. Thanks, I didn’t see it.” What was wrong with her? She’d lived in the North Country long enough to be on alert for deer darting into the road. Driving Myles to his first confirmation class shouldn’t have her so rattled. She shuddered thinking what could have happened if she’d hit the deer. She had all of the kids with her.
Jamie parked at the back of the church lot, since she wouldn’t be staying. She scanned the sparsely filled lot for Eli’s truck before getting out. She couldn’t help it. She hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks. Rose had come down with some kind of bug the Friday before last, and Jamie hadn’t made bowling. Eli never showed this past Friday. She should be glad he was honoring her request to limit their contact. But she missed him. Missed his strength, his smile and even his take-charge manner that bordered on bossiness.
The click of Myles’s door opening pulled her from her thoughts. “You need to come in and sign me up. Pastor Joel said so when I talked to him at youth group.”
“I know.” She got out and opened the back door for Rose and Opal.
“Can I go say hi to my Sunday school teacher?” Opal asked as they entered the church hall. Former Sunday school teacher, Jamie silently corrected her daughter. “No, stay with me. We’re early. She’s probably not here yet.”
Opal pushed out her lower lip and followed Jamie to the room where Myles’s class was. Jamie hated saying no. Opal had adored her teacher and hadn’t seen her since they’d left Community Church. But she knew Opal would want to stay for class. And she wasn’t up to that confrontation. She’d had her reasons for the break, and they hadn’t changed.
She looked at Myles. He was older, old enough to choose for himself. Rose and Opal could have that choice later when their choice wouldn’t drag Jamie back into participating at church.
“Myles, Jamie. Good to see you.” Pastor Joel met them at the classroom door. “And Opal and Rose. Are you staying for Sunday school?”
Jamie’s heart sank. She should have expected this. She’d explained to Rose and Opal why they weren’t going to Sunday school anymore. That it was all a lie. But they were only five and seven when John died, and she’d been emotionally distraught. Who knew what they had gotten out of the explanation. She’d put them off when they’d asked again until they’d stopped asking to go.
“No, Mom won’t let us. Only Myles,” Rose said.
She liked Joel. But he wasn’t playing fair. She was the parent. It was her decision whether or not they attended Sunday school. Her shoulders drooped. And it was Joel’s job to gather his flock.
“I’m sorry,” Pastor Joel apologized. “I assumed, or I should say, hoped.”
“That’s okay. Myles said you need me to sign something.” Maybe she could get the girls back out to the car before they ran into anyone else.
“Yes.” Pastor motioned her to the front of the room. “I’m asking all of the parents to sign a pledge that they will support their child in his or her decision to explore church membership.”
Jamie read through the pledge. It seemed innocuous enough. She supported Myles learning more in hopes of helping him see the folly of blind faith and save him from the heartache she’d experienced. She wouldn’t be lying by signing it. An abyss opened in her chest that stretched to the pit of her stomach. She pressed the pen to the paper so hard she almost tore it and scratched her signature.
“The class is done at ten fifteen?”
“That’s the plan.”
“I’ll be back then. Meet me outside, Myles.” Everyone would be arriving for service then. The fewer people she ran into here, the better for the tenuous inner peace she’d built over the time since John’s death.
Pastor Joel walked with her to the door, greeting the other arriving students. “You’re sure you don’t want to stay for Sunday school?” the pastor asked.
Opal and Rose looked at her with expectant eyes.
“You know a lot of the adult class members, Ted and Mary Hazard, Neal and Anne, Drew and Emily, the Hills, Becca Norton, Edna Tiffany, Harry Stowe and Leah Summers.” Pastor Joel ran through the rest of the names like he was doing class roll call. “Leah’s son, Eli, is leading the class now. Harry thought it was time to give someone else the opportunity.”
Pastor Joel’s mention of Eli tugged at her. He’d probably be a dynamic class leader. She pictured him, his wide shoulders and broad chest filling out a crisp dress shirt tucked neatly into sharply creased slacks. Jamie shook the picture out of her head. She couldn’t believe she’d actually been considering attending the class just to watch Eli.
Pastor Joel misinterpreted her headshake. “I had to try. When you’re ready, we’ll welcome you back.”
Her throat clogged. She’d yet to find something to fill the void that leaving Community Church had created. But she couldn’t live a lie of pretended faith.
She touched Pastor Joel’s arm. “That means a lot to me. But I can’t. Come on, girls. Let’s go.”
Rose and Opal dallied walking back to the church hall, probably in hopes of seeing some of their Sunday school friends. Jamie fought the almost suffocating longing that had plagued her since she’d set foot in the church building. She stopped at the door to the hall and waited for the girls who were now several paces behind her whispering to each other.
“I can’t explain it,” Rose said in exasperation. “Ask Mom.”
“Ask me what?”
“Rose said that Katy told her at school that Mr. Payton is Brett’s father.”
Jamie glanced up and down the hall. When she saw they were alone, she breathed a sigh of relief that did nothing to slow her racing heartbeat.
“How can that be? Brett already has a father. Or is Mr. Payton going to marry Katy’s mother now that her father doesn’t live with them anymore and be Brett’s stepfather? I hope not because then Mr. Payton couldn’t take me to the dinner-dance at school. And if he were Brett’s stepfather, wouldn’t he be Katy’s stepfather, too?”
“This isn’t the place to have this conversation. We’ll talk about it later.”
Opal grimaced. “Okay, I guess. I just don’t get it.”
Jamie herded the girls to the side door where they’d be less likely to run into anyone. Leaning against the bar to open the door, she almost lost her balance when her push met no resistance.
“Excuse me. Jamie!” Eli’s mother, Leah, stood in the open doorway.
Jamie placed her hand over her heart. “Hi. You startled me. I didn’t expect anyone to be coming in this door.” She glanced over Leah’s shoulder.
“Looking for Eli?” Leah tilted her head back and to the side where Jamie had glanced before stepping inside and closing the door behind her.
Yes, so I can avoid him. Her cheeks heated. “We missed him at bowling on Friday. I hope he hasn’t come down with that bug that’s going around. Rose was sick week before last.”
“Oh, no, he’s fine. Last weekend was his Air Guard weekend. He’s probably in the classroom setting up for adult Sunday school.”
“I didn’t see his truck in the parking lot,” Jamie said, digesting what Leah had told her. Eli was in the National Guard? He hadn’t mentioned that to her. But why would he have? She swallowed hard. That meant he could be called up. Neal Hazard had served a year in Afghanistan with his Army Guard unit. All the more reason to keep some distance between her and Eli.
“It’s at the parsonage,” Leah said. “Pastor Joel bought firewood, and it was a lot cheaper if he didn’t have to pay to have it delivered. Eli volunteered to pick it up and some of the kids are going to unload it for Pastor Joel after confirmation class.” Leah tilted her head toward the door Jamie had been trying to exit. “I take it you’re not joining us this morning. Or were
you running out to the car for something?” Leah added with a hopeful uplift to her voice.
This was why she wanted to run into as few people as possible at church this morning. Too many memories of good times spent with friends warring with bitter betrayal and loss. “No, I drove Myles over for the confirmation class. He wanted to take it, and I thought he was old enough to make that decision.”
“Oh. I have to put these cookies for coffee hour in the kitchen and get to class. But before I do, I want to thank you.”
“Thank me? For what?”
“For convincing Eli to do something I’ve wanted him to do for years.”
Jamie had no idea what the other woman was talking about.
“He’s taken a paternity test to stop Charlotte Russell from suing him for whatever she has in her head these days that she can sue him for concerning Brett. That poor boy.”
Opal’s question ran through Jamie’s mind and her heart sank. Eli had promised to let things die out on their own. The test would put a definitive end to speculation about Eli being Brett’s father. But Jamie had a bad feeling that having the test now, after refusing to for all those years, would only antagonize Charlotte and, if she thought Eli was doing it for Jamie, possibly cause the woman to lash out against her and her family again.
“I didn’t have anything to do with Eli’s decision. In fact, I asked…” Jamie shook her head. She was being selfish, thinking of herself. It was Eli’s decision. “Never mind. You want to get to class.”
“Yes, I won’t ever hear the end of it from Eli if I’m the last one there. Maybe we’ll see you next week. The confirmation class is meeting for the next couple of months, right?”
“Through the middle of March.” Jamie sidestepped Leah’s invitation to the adult Sunday school class.
“I’ll tell Eli you were asking about him.”
Jamie mumbled something about getting the girls home, although now they’d spent so much time here that once she got home she’d almost have to turn right around to come back and pick up Myles.
She pushed the door open again and welcomed the chill of the day on her heated skin. She knew she shouldn’t have come to church. It only caused her heartache.
When Jamie returned an hour later to pick up Myles, he was nowhere to be seen. “I told him to meet me outside.”
“Do you want me to go in and get him?” Rose offered.
Jamie had been talking to herself, not thinking about the girls in the back.
“I’ll go, too,” Opal piped up.
Jamie weighed letting them. When had she become such a coward? “We’ll give him five minutes and if he doesn’t come out, we’ll all go in.” No matter how many people we may see and how many of them might ask me if we’re going to service.
* * *
Eli approached the driver’s side of Jamie’s vehicle. She rolled down the window and frowned at him. “Looking for Myles?” he asked.
“Yes, he was supposed to meet me by the church hall door.”
“You weren’t here yet when his class let out.”
Her frown deepened.
“I couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes late.”
He weighed whether to say he hadn’t meant that as a criticism. He was glad she was late. But he had a feeling that saying so would get him deeper into whatever quicksand he was already sinking into.
“Myles went over to the parsonage with Drew and a couple of the other guys from the youth group to unload Pastor Joel’s firewood. I told Pastor I’d be on the lookout for you and let you know where Myles was.” At the time, it had seemed like a good way to see Jamie and talk with her without violating any of their agreed-upon rules.
“Fine. Thanks. I’ll drive over and get him.”
“Mind if I tag along and pick up my truck? I lent it to Pastor Joel. Getting it now would save me some time. After service, I want to pick up a sub at the General Store and be home in time for kickoff.” Hoping to garner a smile from Jamie, he teased her. “The Buffalo game is on since the Giants have a bye week. Not that I’ll be watching that game.” The smile didn’t materialize.
“No, I…”
He stilled. Obviously, she wasn’t in a teasing mood. But what he’d said didn’t warrant not giving him a lift.
“I don’t mind.”
Or, from her tone, she didn’t mind so much that she’d say no. He crossed in front of her vehicle to the passenger side.
“Eli.”
He looked across the parking lot to see his mother waving at him from the church hall doorway.
She hurried across the pavement. “We need some help rearranging the table for coffee hour after service.”
“Jamie was going to give me a lift over to Pastor Joel’s house so I won’t have to walk over later.” Of course, any number of other people, including Mom, could, and would, give him a lift. But he hadn’t seen Jamie since the evening her car had broken down and he’d reluctantly agreed they should avoid each other for a while. He’d missed her more than he’d thought he would.
“Oh, sure, you go ahead. I can find someone else.”
He reached for the door handle.
“Wait.” She motioned to Jamie to open the passenger side window so she could hear her and stepped over to vehicle. “Since you’re not going to service…” His mother paused. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Then why don’t I take the girls in to get some cookies to take home with them while you drive Eli over to get his truck? I made more than enough cookies that a few of them won’t be missed.”
His mother wasn’t being very subtle, either in her desire to have Jamie attend service or in her matchmaking.
“Can we, Mom?” Rose and Opal asked in unison.
He waited for Jamie to come up with an excuse as to why they couldn’t.
“Yes, I guess it would be all right.”
Eli hadn’t expected her to give up the buffer between them that having the girls in the backseat provided. Maybe she’d missed him, too.
Opal and Rose tumbled from the vehicle.
“You stay with Ms. Summers.”
“We will.”
“I’ll send Myles in to get you when I come back.”
Eli opened the door and climbed in. His knees were almost touching the dashboard. “Mind if I move the seat back?”
“No, go ahead.”
He felt her gaze on him as he adjusted the seat. When he’d finished, she put the vehicle in gear and pulled out of the parking lot.
“I let the girls go with your mother so we could have a couple of minutes to talk.”
He settled into the seat with satisfaction. She had missed him, too.
“Your mother told me.”
His mother could have told her any number of things, but the edge to Jamie’s voice told him that what Mom had said wasn’t something good.
“About the paternity test. She thanked me for encouraging you to do it. Except, as you know, I didn’t. I’m trying to distance myself from anything to do with Charlotte and you.”
Eli swallowed hard. When he’d told his mother, it hadn’t occurred to him that she would share the information, especially with Jamie.
“Why now?” she asked.
Before he could answer, she put her hand up, palm out. “No, I don’t need to know. I understand having this dredged up is difficult for you. But you need to realize and consider what Charlie is doing to my family. Rose can’t see her best friend, except at school. Myles is getting in fights. And Opal is asking me questions a seven-year-old shouldn’t be asking.”
Her cell phone chimed, halting her torrent of words.
“I have to check this. It could be the birthing center.” She pulled over to the shoulder of the road and tapped her phone. Her face paled. “And now this.” She shoved the phone at him, and he listened to the message.
“This is a warning. For your own good, stay away from Eli Payton. He’s not the wonder boy everyone in Parado
x Lake seems to think he is. He’ll leave you behind, just like he left me behind, like your husband left you.”
Eli squeezed the phone so hard he feared he’d break it. Charlie had gone way too far. He dropped the phone into the console between them and instinctively reached for Jamie. She leaned forward almost into his arms before jerking back. Wiping her eye, she shook her head.
His chest tightened with helplessness. “I’m having the test done to put an end to Charlie’s machinations once and for all. Everything will be fine if things go as planned.”
“As who planned?”
He could mention the conversation with Brett, but, when they’d met at the library, he’d given his word to the teen that he wouldn’t tell anyone what they were doing. Not yet. “Trust me. I have everything under control.”
“Trust you.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, as if she were talking to herself. “Like I trusted John when he always said he’d come home safe and when he’d said his tour in Afghanistan would be his last. I found out after that he’d reenlisted without telling me. I trusted God to watch over all of us. See where that got me?”
She finished with a dry bark of a laugh that ripped through Eli’s insides. He wasn’t John. “My word is good. I always take care of my unfinished business.”
Jamie blinked and tapped her gloved finger on the steering wheel. “You do that. Just make sure my kids aren’t collateral damage.” She pressed her lips together and lifted her chin, ready to confront the world one on one.
His heart twisted. But she didn’t have to do it all alone. She could let others help her. She could let him help her.
As they rode in silence to Pastor Joel’s, Eli gave up a prayer for help in doing right by Jamie and for her to realize that God hadn’t forsaken her. She just had to open her heart again to Him.
“Where’s your truck?” she asked, as the house came in sight.
“Out back. The guys are stacking the wood on the deck.”
She pulled to the end of the driveway, and he opened the door. “I’ll tell Myles you’re here.”
“Thanks.”
Eli strode over to Myles. “Your mother is here to pick you up.”
Small-Town Mom Page 11
