“I’ve never put a ribbon in a girl’s hair before. Do you think I can handle it?”
She laughed, “It’s as easy as tying your shoes, silly.”
“All right, I’ll give it a try. Dad, did you ever have to tie ribbons in Gwen’s hair?”
Giorgio chuckled, “I left that in your mother’s hands, but I’m guessing you can do the job.”
David fumbled and tied, untied and retied. “Mom,” he finally said, “You may have to show me how to do this.”
The whole thing seemed to fly right over the top of Giorgio’s head, but Celeste was clearly confused as to why David was even attempting to put a ribbon in my sister’s hair. She rose from her place at the table and stepped behind Kimmy.
“Give me your brush and ponytail holder, sweetheart,” she asked. She brushed the hair back, wrapped the ponytail holder swiftly around the bundle of hair and then slipped the yellow ribbon around the ponytail and made a large bow. “There you go. Pretty as a picture.”
“Thank you,” Kimmy said, turning to hug Celeste’s waist.
Celeste returned the hug, but the confused expression was getting deeper.
“You’re going to be a good grandma,” Kimmy stated and then took a seat next to David and hugged him. “Were you paying attention?” she said with feigned sternness. “I like wearing ribbons.”
“Grandma Celeste was a little fast, but I think I got the idea. We’ll see if I can do it next time.”
“I think someone has taken a shine to you, son,” Giorgio laughed.
“Well that’s a good thing, Dad, because when I marry Nadia, Kimmy will be my daughter.” He turned and looked at Kimmy, “Isn’t that right, kiddo?”
“Yup.”
David reached over and took my mother’s hand. Two pairs of eyes snapped to attention at the gorgeous ring on her left finger. “Dad, Mom—I hope you don’t have any plans for December 20th because you’ve got another wedding to attend.”
Celeste’s mouth was literally hanging open.
Giorgio wrinkled his forehead as he cleared his throat, “David, isn’t this going to make things a little—awkward for Micah and Annalisa.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” Micah tossed out and then took a big bite of Danish.
“It does make relations a little hard to figure out,” I added, “but they are so deeply in love that I think I can handle all the brother-in-law-step-father-uncle-grandpa, mother-sister-in-law-grandmother stuff.”
“I’m sorry,” Mom spoke up. “I know this probably wasn’t the best way to break this to you, but David and I started falling in love the first time we met. He’s been after me to marry him for six months, but it wasn’t until last night that I realized neither one of us would be happy without the other, so I said yes.”
“This is why you’ve been coming to Florida so much?” Giorgio asked.
“Well, look at her. She’s beautiful, and intelligent, kind and giving, and she has two very special daughters—and, I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. Don’t you two think it’s about time I settle down?”
The silence was so long at the table that Mom began to shrink in her chair. She had told me privately in the kitchen that she was afraid they would look at her as a cradle robber, though there was hardly that big of a difference in their ages.
“David,” Celeste finally spoke, “are you honestly in love with—with Nadia?”
He reached across the table and took his mother’s hand in his, “Mom, I’ve never been so absorbed into another person in my whole existence. She means the world to me, and it would mean the world to me to have you and Dad bless our marriage.”
“Nadia,” Celeste continued. “This certainly changes things between us. I hope you are sincere about how much you love my son.”
“I am. Truly, I am. He’s a wonderful man, but there was a reason I didn’t accept his offer months ago.”
“Nadia—it doesn’t—” David began.
“But they should know. I had tubal ligation after Kimmy was born. I told David he should marry someone who can give him a family of his own, but—”
“But,” David interrupted, then paused, “that never would have happened anyway because I’m not the type of guy to fall in love—it took a very special woman for that.” He lifted Mom’s hand and kissed the back of it. “And you are that special woman. I want to spend the rest of my life with you; nothing else matters.” He finished his statement by turning her chin toward him and softly kissing her lips. “I love you.”
Their poor parents sat and watched the transformation from David being an ice-cold, calculated, never-had-a-tender-bone-in-his-body hitman to someone that practically carved open his chest right in front of them so he could expose his heart. They were speechless.
“And you guys get to be my grandparents,” Kimmy happily tossed out, ending the awkward moment as everyone briefly laughed.
Giorgio pushed back his chair and stood, and it was like an invisible command as David and Micah followed, which brought Celeste, Mom, and I to our feet as well. David took Mom’s hand and brought her around the table to where his father was waiting.
“I’m happy for you, son—you have my blessing,” he stated, pulling him in for a handshake, but getting a brief embrace from David instead.
Celeste gave me a hug and quietly asked if I had known what was going on all along, why did I ask if David had ever been in love?
“She is still my mother. I needed to know if this was real. If you’d told me that he’d been in love a few times, I would have been worried.”
By the look on her face, my answer satisfied her. David glanced at us, but apparently hadn’t been able to hear our exchange.
About thirty minutes before it was time to leave the house for church, Micah asked me to come upstairs with him. I wondered if David had asked him to pull me aside to find out what his mother and I had been discussing, but when we stepped into the quiet stillness of our bedroom, his request took me by surprise.
He clasped my hands together, kissed them, and looked at me with those beautiful eyes, “Will you pray with me about the baptism?”
I went straight to my knees, taking him with me. With our heads bowed, I began to give thanks to God for bringing my husband to this point in his life. I knew that this symbol didn’t mean that all our problems were behind us, but it would mean that what was once behind us wouldn’t prevent us from the life He offered before us. I prayed for a new kind of strength for Micah, a strength that would help him see that he could keep his promise to be a new creature. I prayed that he would never have to take the life of another human soul and that God would give him the strength and wisdom to find ways around what may, at some point, seem impossible to avoid.
I wasn’t even sure where all the words were coming from as they welled up from inside me. Micah was speaking in soft whispers as I continued my feverish praying for God to hold us in His hands, to keep us safe from what was coming, to protect us when we are separated, to turn what is meant for evil into good, to help us so that what can’t be trusted with our eyes can be viewed through the heart of faith, to help Micah when I’m not with him anymore.
The silence from Micah stopped my prayers. I had been so deep into the moment that I didn’t know what I’d been saying and it was the first time in my life that I knew what people meant about the Spirit taking over when you don’t know what to pray.
“Baby?”
I slowly opened my eyes and quietly looked up at him.
“What’s coming?”
I just stared, trying desperately to remember what had been flowing from my lips before his silence interrupted me.
“Annalisa, you were saying we’re going to be separated again. You…” His voice choked up. “Do you even know what you were saying?”
I think he could tell by the look on my face that I was just as surprised as he was about my prayer. “I’m—I’m sorry, Micah. Something just took over and I’ve never… I’m sorry, but no I don’t k
now what I was saying. Did I hurt you?” I was thinking I may have uttered something that pierced his heart, or ripped it out might be more appropriate by the look on his face.
“Hurt? No. Scared? Yeah—it’s like you were telling me that something terrible is going to happen and I’m going to need strength to get through it. Does this normally happen when you pray?”
“No. I started to say a second ago that I’ve never had a feeling like this take over when I pray. It may sound a little crazy, but I feel like I just woke up. What was I saying?”
“Maybe we should stay home,” he said cautiously. “I think you may need to lie down for a little while.”
“No, Micah. I told you, I’m sorry. I don’t know what just happened, but I know I’m okay now. Please, don’t let anything stand between you and this baptism today.”
He rose slowly, pulling me up to my feet as he did. I didn’t want to tell him but I was incredibly lightheaded.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked gently.
“Yeah—let’s…” I glanced down at my watch and realized that we’d prayed for thirty minutes. Where had that time gone? It seemed that we’d only knelt down a few moments ago. “We’d better get going.”
All the way to church, I felt horrible for placing some kind of cloud over what was supposed to be a happy event. But his concerned and perplexed expression began to immediately lighten as we were welcomed into the church with open arms. Pastor Anderson had been doing some major damage control during the week and all those cold shoulders had melted into a warm and happy reunion of sorts.
The service was beautiful and I could tell by the end of it that Giorgio and Celeste were glad that they decided to attend with us. Pastor Anderson stated that we were having a baptism at the end, and if any of the church members would like to join our family in witnessing the event they were welcomed to stay. I was pleasantly surprised that no one got up to leave.
Before they took Micah behind the stage to prepare, I went up to sing my first song for him. I reminded everyone that when God forgives us, those things are separated as far from us as the east is from the west, and though there may be times when we feel like we’re just one mistake away from God abandoning us, He is always with us, always faithful to forgive.
The lights in the building were lowered. I listened to the first gentle piano cords and I couldn’t help but for my mind to drift back to the night my husband couldn’t sleep. The night I found him on the pool deck, drowning in his regrets.
“Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness. The chains of yesterday surround me. I yearn for peace and rest. I don't want to end up where You found me. And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight…but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way…I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again. In the arms of Your mercy I find rest…You know just how far the east is from the west; from one scarred hand to the other…”
I continued, without crying, all the way to the end. Micah seemed to be absorbing every word, and with every word a slow smile was working its way across his face. By the final chorus, he was singing silently with me and a look of relaxation replaced that small amount of tension that he had been feeling over his pending baptism.
One of the deacons had already started leading him away as I returned to where we had been sitting, so I wouldn’t get to give him a kiss before he went back to the baptismal, but that was okay because the look he had given me spoke volumes about how much he liked the song. I had two other deacons that I had armed with cameras waiting behind the stage to get several shots of the event from a different view, which allowed me to sit with our family and watch from the sanctuary. The curtain was drawn back and Micah was standing behind the half-glass wall in a white robe in slightly lower than chest deep water with Pastor Anderson. The pastor explained the significance of the baptismal ceremony and then showed Micah how to hold his arms as he continued. “I baptize you my brother, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Buried in baptism…” He was pushing Micah backwards and under the water, and then pulling him upward and out of the water. “…Raised to walk in newness of life.”
Everyone was clapping, Celeste was crying, Kimmy was cheering, and all I could do was smile as I headed back up on to the stage to finish with the final song I had chosen for him. They told me it would take several minutes before he would be ready to come out, but he would be able to hear the song as he was drying and re-dressing. And, although I hadn’t told him what the final song would be, he’d heard it before—on Remake. This time I cried as I sang, “Born Again.”
Pastor Anderson joined me on stage and thanked everyone for staying and then said we had one more ceremony to complete, but it would be private. As the auditorium cleared out, I saw someone sitting in the very back row that I hadn’t noticed earlier; Gwen. She was dabbing her eyes with a tissue as she smiled back at me. Micah had invited her, but she told us she most likely wouldn’t be able to make it. I felt a touch on my arm and Micah was standing there beside me.
“Look who made it,” I pointed out as she rose from the back and began working her way forward through the last of the people leaving the sanctuary.
Micah met her halfway and hugged her, “I was hoping you’d be here. We’ve got a surprise for you.” He had his arm over her shoulder as he walked her to where we were all standing. “You’re going to be an Aunt in six months.”
“I’m going to be an Aunt in three months, unless your wife is actually fat instead of six months pregnant.” She winked at me.
“You are going to be an Aunt in three months, but you’re going to be an Aunt again in December.”
“Unless I totally wasn’t paying attention in science class, that’s impossible.”
“You must not have been paying attention then,” David spoke up. “Because that’s what’s going to happen when I get married in December. You’ll be Kimmy’s aunt.”
“Well, I’ll be a son-of-a…” She suddenly remembered what establishment she was standing in. “You and Nadia? How long has this been going on?”
“From the moment I met her last June, but she didn’t agree to marry me until yesterday.”
“I knew it!” she said, but still clearly surprised. “Not that you two were…” She let her statement fade. “I knew there was something going on with you. I told Mom you were acting weird like you were on happy pills or something.” She sighed then reached out to hug my mother, “I don’t know what you did to him, but thank God somebody finally got through that rock in his chest that he called his heart.”
“So you’re okay with this?” Mom asked. Not that she needed Gwen’s approval, but she obviously wanted all his family members to be in agreement.
“Sure, I am—it might be a little funky for these two,” she said, pointing to Micah and me. “But after everything they’ve been through, they ought to be used to weird by now.”
Although we all laughed, Mom had no idea exactly how weird Gwen was honestly insinuating.
“Are we ready?” Pastor Anderson asked as he approached us.
It was all quite simple and unrehearsed. But there was a beauty in the gentle rejoining of our hearts to each other after so much pain had passed between us. Neither of us wanted to be the source of that pain. I never wanted to hurt him when D’Angelo forced me into leaving, but it did hurt him in the worst possible way. He never wanted to hurt me when the same horrid man filled Micah’s body with enough amphetamines and steroids to drive him to nearly kill me. None of this was spoken of course, but it was clearly on both our minds as we re-committed our lives to each other.
“Once again, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Micah Gavarreen. May God bless you both and protect the love you have for one another. You may kiss your spouse.”
All I could pray, as our lips met to seal our vows, was that we would finally have a chance to be happy together.
“I love you, baby,” I whispered as I
wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.
He couldn’t speak, his eyes were red and he was trying to mouth the words ‘I love you,’ when he buried his face against my neck as a small choked sound struggled free from his chest. We didn’t move from the spot that felt like we had been rooted to as he worked on regaining his control.
Pastor Anderson kept his hands on our backs and began to pray. Years of experience told him that he needed to do something to give us a little more time to compose. I felt Micah’s chest expand with an inhaled breath. He placed a kiss on the side of my head and nodded to the Pastor.
Micah found my mouth for one more tender kiss as the last thing we heard was the word, ‘Amen.’
We had a wonderful afternoon as Giorgio and Celeste treated everyone to lunch at Pistache’s French Bistro. With the exception of Micah, Kimmy, and me, it was wine all around. We had sparkling water with a twist of lime and Kimmy had lemonade, but they brought it to us in wine glasses because Giorgio informed them that there was going to be a lot of toasting going on at our table.
Giorgio started off with a toast to the newly remarried couple, the soon to be married couple, and (very surprisingly) for his son’s baptism. Gwen got up and toasted to the fact that her brothers finally got some sense in their heads (which I found hilarious). Celeste stood and toasted to her grandson and granddaughter. David toasted to first chances. I toasted to second chances, and Mom toasted to third chances. The last person to raise a toast was my very quiet and thoughtful husband.
“I have to agree with my wife on toasting to second chances, but since she’s already done that, then I have to toast to how second chances happen. I don’t know why she deemed me worthy for her love, but thank God there was enough love left for forgiveness. Here is to forgiveness.”
Mom and Kimmy were the only ones who didn’t know the true depth of this toast, but the Gavarreen family was very somber as they raised their glasses in agreement.
CHAPTER six
The days to our birthday celebration passed quickly. Micah had been snooping, prying, and prodding to find out what I had gotten him for his birthday. I’d just smile when I’d catch him looking around for it or asking Mom or Kimmy questions about it. The whole time, I kept getting text messages from Lyle telling me the next offer Micah was making on the property. Two days before our party, the final offer came in at forty million dollars. Even Lyle was begging me to let Micah buy it from me and pocket a thirty-two million dollar profit out of my husband’s bank account. I just laughed and told him to turn down the offer once again.
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