So many relatives, what happened to them all?, where are they all?, where do they live? surely some of them must still be alive, maybe, I was thinking. I sat in front of the computer for hours, infact the time flies so fast when your sitting at the computer, one minute its mid afternoon, the next its dinner time, looks like beans on toast again for tea.
I now had great grandparents George and Carolyn and Pop now has brothers and sisters, this is so exciting I thought, I continued in this vain going back another two more generations, checking every census from 1881 back to 1841.
Pop’s parents and siblings are all from Croydon and London, even his grandparents are from London, before I knew it I was back to the 1780’s with Pop’s family originating from a place called Shifnal in Shropshire. I had never heard of it before, had to look it up on a map.
Then one day I had a brainwave, I do not know why I had never thought of it before it occurred to me to try and find people who might be related to Pop’s family, surely there must be other Lello’s or people related to Pop’s siblings, but where are they? I put my family tree online but not one person had contacted me about my family and I did not find anyone else researching the same family, obviously they were not doing their family tree to know about me. So what did I do? I looked at the Telephone Directory online and searched for anyone with the surname Lello in or around the London area. I found one listed living in Tooting in South West London, I noted down their address, I thought it best to send a letter rather than just ring them, and tried to pen a letter to them.
Dear Mr or Mrs Lello,
I have just began researching my grandfather’s family tree, his name is William Clarence Lello, would you happen to know of that name within your family?
Look forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Lindsay Harrison
Short and sweet I thought would be best but not much to show in my letter, so decided to add Pop’s siblings names and his parents names thinking they might recognise someone’s name amongst them all. I re-wrote my letter to Mr or Mrs Lello and off I went out to my local post office and posted the letter.
A week later I received a reply to the letter I had sent to Mr or Mrs Lello, I put the kettle on to make a cup of tea and sat there for several minutes just holding the envelope, admiring the neat handwriting, not sure I wanted to read what it might say, I think I felt a bit nervous, not sure why.
Dear Lindsay,
Gerald Lello is my grandfather, my father John might be able to help you further with the family tree so I enclose his address, also my fathers cousin Kate Davey might be of assistance too so enclose her address as well. Good luck with your searching.
Regards
Daniel Lello
How exciting, a relative at last! Daniel Lello is who to me, I wondered, and if Gerald Lello is his grandfather then John Lello must be my grandfather’s cousin and Daniel is like a cousin as well so Daniel is cousin to me then or something like that, it all sounded rather complicated, I need to write this down.
I decided to write to John and thought I would write to Kate once I knew how she was related as I had not come across a Kate in the family yet and did not know who she was.
A few days later whilst giving the flat a bit of clean and tidy up on a Saturday morning, my phone rang and who should it be, but John Lello who I had sent a letter to.
“hello is that Lindsay Harrison”
“yes this is Lindsay, who is this”
“this is John, you sent me a letter about the family”
“oh my, John, I was not expecting you to ring me, um how are you? Nice of you to ring me, I don‘t know where to begin” feel somewhat flustered that John had called me.
“now what can I tell you about the family” said John, “my father was Gerald Lello, he was the eldest of George and Carolyn’s children, he married my mother Mary just before the first world war, he joined up you know”
“joined up, joined up what John?”
“the Army, he served in France during the war, he never talked about it though, never mentioned what he did there”
“what do you know about my grandfather William, your uncle?”
“he used to be called Billy, everyone called him Billy or Bill, he joined up too”
“really Pop, I mean my grandfather, I call him Pop by the way, he was in the army too”
“yes he went to France as well, heard he got wounded in the war, they make us Lello’s tough you know”
“oh I’m sure they do”
Whilst talking to John my brain was trying to scramble any questions I could possibly ask him, but my brain was refusing to work, I could not think of anything to ask, other than telling myself “think Lindsay think”
“John what do you know about your grandfather, Gerald’s father George”
“Oh” says John with a bit of a laugh, “he was a bit of a lad”
“what do you mean”
“George was a bit of a ladies man, he and my grandmother Carolyn, they split up because he had an eye for the ladies”
“oh really when did they split up then??”
I quickly walked over to my desk and sat down and grabbed a pen and paper to make notes of what John was telling me.
“sometime after when their youngest daughter Annie was born they split up, he met another lady”
“gee that would have been hard for Carolyn looking after all the children”
“yes she found work as a dressmaker, used to take in people’s clothing and do ironing”
“so what happened to George then? as I found George on the 1911 census with Carolyn, but Annie was born well before then”
“apparently he and his lady friend split up too and Carolyn took him back, god knows why, but that did not last long, his eyes were wandering again and my father Gerald had enough of how he treated his mother so he threw him out of the house, told him to never come back, he was never seen again after that”
“oh my, I bet that caused a scene”
“no doubt it did, but my father had enough of his womanising ways”
“so you don’t have any idea what happened to George after the split for the second time then?”
“no, but apparently my uncle Howard said he saw his father during the war, he bumped into him in a pub up London, they arranged to meet again and next time Howard took my father with him and they went up to meet their father, but after this meeting they never saw him again, so no we don’t know what became of George”
“well that’s a mystery then John, I will see if I can find out anything about what happened to him, and keep you posted if your interested”
“be nice to know what happened to him, close the book so to speak”
“well John it has been lovely talking to you, can I call you back sometime if I have any further questions?”
“yes that would be nice, sometimes I forget things at times, so you might have to jog my memory a bit, but sometimes I remember things like they happened yesterday”
“oh we all forget things sometimes John, even I do, so don’t worry about it”
We ended our phone call and I sat for a few minutes trying to take in all what John had told me, but damn I totally forgot to ask about his cousin Kate, never mind, another time.
Chapter 4
It was a rainy day, one of those grey days that made everything look bleak and dismal, having braved the weather in the morning to go out and get some groceries all I felt like doing was curling up on the sofa and sitting and reading a good book on my kindle but instead I switched on my computer and logged into a genealogy website, this research is addictive.
I don’t actually know when my grandparents married, let’s have a look, I thought to myself. This genealogy hobby was starting to become an obsession, it is a bit like doing a jigsaw puzzle except you don’t have all the pieces, you have to go and find them but sometimes you can never find the pieces, kind of frustrating but in a good way.
In I typed both Pop and
Nan’s names, William Clarence Lello looking for his marriage to Grace Antoinette Milligan, Nan always told me she was married on the 1st of April, April Fools Day, but god bless her she is no longer with us so I cannot ask her any longer where she married, I assumed in Croydon but who’s knows, maybe not, never thought of asking her whilst she was still with us where the wedding took place, but seriously who would want to get married on April Fool’s Day?, clearly my grandparents.
The search proved fruitless, no marriage listed for a Lello to a Milligan., Ok now what?, no marriage, but Nan had said previously she was married on 1st April, April Fool’s Day, so let’s try another search then, I thought to myself.
I decided to just do a search on Pop’s name to begin with and would try Nan‘s afterwards, and entered William Clarence Lello into the search box for marriages, and found one entry listed
William Clarence Lello, Sept Quarter 1920, Croydon
That is my Pop’s name alright, I was thinking to myself, but he is married, oh my god, bloody hell, excuse swearing, he is married! How did he get married?, well I know how he got married, but how did he get married? When?, where?, to whom? ran through my mind. He could not of married my Nan in 1920 as Nan was only born in 1914, so who on earth could he be married too?.
I did not expect to find him married, well I did but not married to Mrs Whoever She Is, I had already decided that I did not like her, this woman, this witch, this person who is MARRIED to my Pop, who does she think she is?, I needed to know who she was, right then and there but I had to order the certificate first, knowing who she was will have to wait. I do not like waiting, I get impatient, another one of those things I think about.
After I calmed down I started to think maybe it was someone else with the same name, of course that is what it could be, but Croydon, well the area is definitely correct, oh my god Pop’s got a wife, bloody hell, was not expecting that, well I was but not to someone else, there you go, just when you think you know someone, you do not know them at all, crafty Pop, I wonder if Nan knew about that?
Excuse swearing, sometimes it just comes out, and anyway this is a bit of a shock to find your Pop married to Mrs Whoever She Is, times like this when receiving a shock or even stress, I think your allowed to swear, but only at those times, other times well there really is no excuse for it so I think.
A few days later I received Pop’s marriage certificate in the post, I put on the kettle for a cup of tea and sat staring at the envelope too scared to open it. Lindsay do not be a chicken just open the envelope, I told myself, I really did not want to look, but at the same time I just wanted to rip the envelope open and find out who Mrs Whoever She Is was.
Opening the envelope I read:
At Croydon Parish Church on 6th June 1920, William Clarence Lello, age 26, a bachelor, living at 12 St John‘s Road,, Croydon, father’s name George Lello a Butcher, married his wife Clarinda Cecilia Clay age 25, she was living at 10 Whitehorse Road, Thornton Heath, spinster and daughter of Ebenezer Clay a Road Sweeper, married by Banns.
Oh my god Mrs Whoever She Is is Clarinda Cecilia Clay, that is Pop’s wife, he actually has a wife, no wonder I could not find him married to Nan, he has got a bloody wife!, I was thinking to myself. Excuse swearing, this is a shocking moment you know.
Then it hit me, why had I not thought of it before, they could not of could they?, did they? I did not think to check and now it just occurred to me, my god, they might have had babies, is that why Pop married her? She got herself pregnant, tricked him, back in those days if a girl got herself pregnant, the man did the right thing and married her, no love was involved, it was just a man being a man and a woman being silly enough to get herself a bun in the oven.
My heart felt like it was racing, oh my god, surely not, children, bloody hell, excuse swearing but times like this you need to swear I think.
I went straight to my computer, logged in and went to the website I had been searching on, and typed in under Births, mother’s maiden name Clay, surname Lello, I almost did not want to look at the screen, too scared of what I would see, but there it was three children listed.
Charles William Lello born in 1922, Margaret Clarinda Lello in 1924, and Julia Catherine Eliza Lello in 1930, all born in Croydon.
I sat in shock, I could not believe what I was looking at, I have an uncle and two aunt’s that I never knew existed, why did we not know about them? Where are they? Are they married or have children? I wanted to know, I wanted to know everything, I wanted to ask Pop “why did you not tell us about the other family?” Pop trust you to be dead just when I need to have words with you., I thought to myself.
I felt I needed to tell someone, but who?, how do you tell your family something like this? Then I realised maybe they already knew but had been told to never talk about them, maybe Nan did not want me to do the family tree years beforehand because she knew all along about Pop’s wife, Nan must of known, surely she would have had to known he had a wife and children, I was thinking to myself.
I thought of my cousin Natalie, maybe I could tell her, Natalie is good at keeping things to herself, I know she would not let on to anyone, lets see what she thinks first, might try ringing her to see if she can pop around.
“hey Nat its me Linds”
“hi how are doing?”
“great, are you free anytime today or tomorrow or like very soon?”
“yeah what’s up?
“rather not tell you over the phone, any chance you could pop over”
“I can come over now if you like, only got housework to do but that can wait, I will see you soon”
Half an hour later there is a knock at my door and Natalie walks in carrying bags of food, I think she knows I do not cook a great deal for myself, other than beans or spaghetti on toast, or something that goes two minutes in the microwave.
“thought you might like some lunch too, the bakers shop nearby do some great sausage rolls, and I got us a vanilla slice as well, so lets put the kettle on and have a cup of tea and you can tell me what you could not tell me over the phone”.
My cousin Natalie is four years older than me, she is married to a lovely man, Gary, who is a plumber, they have three children all grown up now, but no grandchildren yet, she is what I call the sensible one in the family, always trying to do the right thing by everyone, never speaking out of turn and never puts a foot wrong according to the family, is there a hint of jealousy there?, I do not think so, Nat is just Miss Dependable and Miss Reliable who would do anything for anyone.
Natalie’s mum is my Aunt Eleanor, we call her Ellie for short and is sister to my mum Barbara. Natalie gave up years ago asking if I have met anyone nice lately, she just accepts me as I am and accepts people how she finds them, maybe that’s why everyone loves her, occasionally she will tell me “I can hear your brain thinking from over here” and then has a laugh and I will laugh with her and say “yeah have you got the key to turn it off”.
As we sit down and drink our tea and munch on our lunch, I tell Nat about the family tree and how I could not find a marriage for Pop and Nan and how when I kept searching I discovered Pop already had a wife.
“your kidding? Pop was married, who too? Said Natalie.
“her name is Clarinda Cecilia Clay, but that is not all, they have three children as well, a boy and two girls“.
Natalie sat their dumbstruck, I suddenly felt like maybe I should not of told her, but then Natalie piped up and said “Oh my god where are they? Where do they live”
“I don’t know, do you think I should try to find them? I have no idea if I should tell the rest of the family about this”
“I think maybe we could try and find our uncle and aunts first, and find out how much they know, they might not know about our side of the family, why did Pop not tell us?“
“do you think our mum’s know about them?“
“if they did, they have certainly never let on about them”
“do you think Nan knew about them?“
&nb
sp; “surely Pop must of told Nan, not that she ever said anything about them or much else either, she was always good at keeping things to herself, how do we find out more information?”
“well I could look to see if they were married and then check to see if they had any children”
“maybe we should keep this to ourselves for now until we have more information” said Natalie, being sensible as always, keeping things to ourselves seems to be a family trait.
“to think they could be living next door to us or even in the same street and we would not even know it, I wonder what they look like” I said to Nat.
I logged back into my computer and with Natalie sitting beside me I went to the website I had been searching on, and searched for a marriage for Charles William Lello, I found three possibilities, one in 1945 at Beckenham, one in 1948 at Reigate and the other in 1952 at Sutton
“I wonder which one he his” said Nat
“all those places are near Croydon, could be anyone of them, might have to get all three Certificates” I said as I noted down the Index numbers.
The next search for Margaret Clarinda Lello, gave one result, in 1949 in Croydon, husband’s surname Berry.
The final search for Julia Catherine Eliza Lello also produced one result, in 1958, husband’s surname Overton.
With another quick search I found Margaret was married to Graeme Berry and Julia was married to Leslie Peter Overton.
“I can look for the children of the two aunt’s but cannot look for Charles’s children until we know which marriage certificate is his” I said to Nat.
I then switched from searching for marriages to searching for births, I typed in surname Berry with mother’s maiden name Lello.
“Nat are you sure you want to know anymore”
The Other Family Page 2
