The couple just decides that their marriage will work. Maybe a union has a better chance of working if the two people involved just consciously commit to their relationship and making it work.
Failure is not an option. Imagine approaching a relationship with that level of commitment. Maybe it is a little too full-on, but our culture is so throw-away. Oh, if this guy doesn't work out, we'll just find someone else, someone new, break up, divorce; it's all so expendable these days. “The easy way out”, my mother calls our modern day mentality. It's always there at the back of your mind, so rarely will you be willing to work hard to overcome your obstacles and just get on with it.”
“You make a good point, maybe a little simplistic,” Rachel responded, “wouldn't you rather choose your own life partner, in person? I don't think a computer programme, however advanced, could necessarily choose the perfect partner. There's no accounting for that certain “je ne sais quoi”. I look at some people and I wonder how they have anything in common, but they do.”
“Of course, in an ideal world we'd all like to find our partner in a traditional way, through work or friends,” Liz agreed, “but it doesn't always work out that easily anymore. How many of us drift away from our old school and college friends?
We travel for work or even the long commute to and from work, most weekday evenings are a write-off. Especially us women, we want it all, and rightly so, but if you dedicate all your time to your career, where do you find the time or even the energy to meet new people, let alone someone who is a suitable relationship candidate. It's so tiresome to be constantly on the look-out for “The One”.”
“Actually, I don't like the concept of “having it all”. Of course women want it all,” Rachel argued, “but I don't think having it all is humanly possible. Something's got to give. You can't have a brilliant career and a perfectly happy, well-organised household. It's physically impossible.
If you want a career, then you are going to have to face the reality that your children will be spending a big part of their day, five days a week with a child-minder.
When you pick them up after work, your children are tired, you're tired, and all everyone wants to do is chill out and go to sleep. Where's the quality time? Your children will have spent most of their day bonding and interacting with a child-minder. I, personally, would rather forfeit my career, and have more time to spend with my children.
There's no such thing as having it all, it's impossible.”
“Interesting argument, Rach,” Liz said, “I guess if you have a supportive partner then it's easier.”
“It would probably be easier with the right person by your side,” Rachel conceded. “Just to get back to your question about arranged marriages. I suppose in a way, my relationship with Tony was almost like an arranged relationship, in that our parents are friends, we always spent summer holidays together. It was almost inevitable that we would get together,” Rachel mused, “but for all the comfort and ease of our relationship, I can tell you that I felt that there was something lacking, that I needed to have time alone and to experience life without a boyfriend, even to date other men.
I mean, Tony and I could easily have gotten married, had children and lived quite happily ever after, but I think we would both eventually have ended up wondering what we had missed by getting involved with each other at such a young age.”
“I see what you mean,” Liz said thoughtfully, “but would it really have been such a terrible thing if you and Tony had stayed together forever? He's a decent person-loyal, dependable, trustworthy, what more could anyone want? I think that's a lot of the problem with our society that we just cannot accept and appreciate what we have. We want more; we think there is something or someone bigger and better just waiting for us. Sometimes there is, but more often than not there isn't. No offence to you, Rach.”
“None taken,” Rachel replied, “ I definitely see your point and agree with you on some levels, but I think you are taking a slightly over-simplistic view of relationships, and I don't believe that most people would discard a relationship that they didn't think in their heart of hearts was in some way fundamentally lacking. Of course there are exceptions, but most people are intelligent enough to realise when they have found their soul mate.”
“Do you believe in soul mates?” Liz asked her friend.
“Hmm, yes, I do believe in soul mates actually. I think it's very rare that two people who are perfectly suited actually meet, but I think it can and does happen sometimes. However, I think there is more than one person in the world for each of us,” Rachel responded, “otherwise the world would be a very scary place. Imagine falling in love with one person, and something tragic happened to them so you lost them. Not only would you have lost the one person you loved but to know that you would never find anyone to love again would be unthinkable. I know that we have an infinite capacity to love, it's just hoping that you will have that love returned.”
“Did you truly not feel that you didn't have any of that with Tony?” Liz asked curiously.
“I knew he loved me, and I loved him,” Rachel replied, “it's just that I felt there was something lacking between us. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was lacking, I just knew there was something more to love and life. We were more like brother and sister than anything else. I know if we had stayed together that we would have had a happy, comfortable life together, but I want something more.”
“Do you think we should actively seek love or do you think we will find it naturally in good time?” Liz asked.
“I think there's no harm in going out and meeting new people and seeing what will evolve, but I believe that certain things are meant to be,” Rachel said.
“Maybe,” Liz pondered, “but I'm slowly starting to realise that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. You have to really know yourself before you can commit to being with someone else. Relationships are hard work, no matter how well-matched the couple involved.”
“I get quite annoyed when I think about all the films that we see in the cinema and on television. They perpetuate the fairytale that once you find your man, you will both live happily ever after in love. Well, it's just not that easy, however wonderful your partner might be.” “I learned that lesson some time ago,” Liz nodded in agreement.
“Even if you find an amazing man, there's always some compromise to be made, and I'm sure men feel the same way.”
“We're being very philosophical for such an early hour on a Saturday,” Rachel smiled at her friend as she poured herself another coffee.
“It's not even 10am,” Liz laughed, checking her watch. “What will be talking about by lunch-time?”
“Enough of the deep and meaningful chat for now, here comes Jen,” Rachel waved at her friend as she made her way to their table.
“Hey girl, how's the head?” Liz laughed, as one look at Jen's face told them she'd had a very enjoyable night.
“Oh, brilliant,” Jen smiled weakly at them both, the dark circles still visible under her eyes, despite several coats of Yves St Laurent Touché Éclat, “a little too brilliant maybe. I didn't get home to my beloved bed 'til about 5am, and then the birds chirping outside my window kept me awake for ages.”
“You had a good night, that's what counts,” Liz said.
“So tell us all about it,” Rachel said, “I'm sorry I left early but I just wasn't in the mood to stay out dancing and drinking and flirting. I'm so out of practice in the flirting department, I feel myself start to blush if a guy so much as looks in my direction.”
“Don't worry, girl,” Jen reassured Rachel, “there were lots of people from work there so I wasn't alone. It would have been more fun with you there, but I still had a great time. I love that club; I think it's going to be my new haunt for a while. The clientèle are absolutely gorgeous, even the bouncers are hotties. I felt like a kid in a sweet shop with all the eye candy.”
“Honestly, Jen, sometimes I wonder if you're not a man in disguis
e,” Liz teased.
“Oi, cheeky,” Jen smacked her friend lightly on the shoulder.
“Yes, I am a red-blooded female, but right now I need a very strong coffee and some food. My head is starting to pound and I need to be as wide awake as possible for our shopping spree this afternoon.”
An hour later, the three friends poured onto the busy high street, which was thronged with Saturday shoppers.
“Looks like everyone has had the same idea as us,” Rachel said, as she pushed her way through the crowds.
“Where are we off to first, ladies?” Liz asked.
“TK Maxx,” Jen said immediately, “best bargains, best selection. It's like a treasure chest; you just never know what you might find. I know it takes some sifting through the rails, but more often than not, there's a little gem waiting to be discovered. Last time I was in there I found the most divine pair of Calvin Klein pumps, reduced down to ninety per cent off.
“Wow,” Rachel said, “sounds like my kind of shop, especially when my poor credit card is about to explode after I bought those Louboutins.”
“You totally deserved them,” Jen soothed, “anyway, you need some sexy new outfits to go with the sexy new you.”
“Maybe not too sexy,” Rachel said, “I almost suffocated in that corset last night.”
“You need to get out of your comfort zone, Rach,” Liz piped up. “You need to shake things up a little. I know it's not easy, but you ended it with Tony cos it was all too comfortable, well you need to make more of an effort to get the rest of your life out of that zone too.”
“OK, OK, let's do it,” Rachel said.
Several hours and several pretty outfits later, the girls were finally all shopped out. Liz took Rachel's bags from her as they stopped outside Toni and Guys hairdressers.
“We have a treat for you,” Jen said, ushering her friend inside. “Lorraine,” Jen greeted a very slim, very tall hairdresser who was walking towards them, “this is my friend, Rachel. She would like a whole new look. Can you take care of her for me?”
“Her wish is my command,” Lorraine grinned.
“Right, Rachel, text me when you're done and we'll come back to see the results,” Jen instructed a somewhat startled Rachel, and with that she and Liz were gone, leaving Rachel all alone with the very cool Lorraine.
“So, did you have anything in mind?” Lorraine asked as she started to brush Rachel's long hair. “Well, I was thinking maybe a bit shorter, with a few highlights,” Rachel replied, “or maybe you have some suggestions?”
“Well, you have a perfectly oval face, so technically most hairstyles will suit you. She gazed at Rachel for a few minutes, and held several swatches of hair colour up to her face.
“You are quite pale skinned, so I'm thinking a cool-toned blonde shade would look great on you. A fringe would bring out your eyes, and if I was you I'd cut your hair much shorter. This long mop doesn't do much for you, to be honest. It just drags your face down and makes you look quite drawn.”
“I could do with something radical, I think,” Rachel said, suddenly feeling brave, “I'll leave it up to you.”
Lorraine's face lit up. “Really? This will be fun,” she said enthusiastically.
She gave Rachel a pile of magazines and a trainee hairdresser brought her a coffee and washed her hair while Lorraine whisked colours and gathered her scissors and combs together. Rachel thought it best to keep her head down and wait to look in the mirror until Lorraine was finished. Several hours later and Lorraine whipped the gown from Rachel's shoulders.
“Voilà!” she said, rather dramatically. Rachel looked rather tentatively in the mirror. She couldn't believe the face and the hair that was staring back at her in the mirror.
“Oh my goodness,” she breathed. Her hair was cut into a very symmetrical, dark blonde bob, interspersed with platinum highlights.
“Is that me?” she asked disbelieving her own eyes.
“It sure is,” Lorraine laughed, holding the mirror behind her head so she could get a three hundred and sixty degree view of her new hairstyle.
“What do you think?”
“I love it!” Rachel couldn't stop beaming at herself in the mirror. “Wait 'til the girls see me.”
“Speaking of the girls, here they are, right on queue,” Lorraine said as Liz and Jen pushed the door open.
They looked around the salon, not recognising Rachel at first, and then they squealed in unison “Rachel! Is that you?!”
“I can't believe it's me,” Rachel said, still staring at herself in the mirror. “Wow, you look fabulous!” Liz said, “fabulous enough to hopefully meet an equally fabulous man at the blind date evening they're having at The Boardwalk café tonight.”
“We're all going, by the way missy, and we're not taking no for an answer,” Jen interjected. “I'll be there,” Rachel smiled at her friends, “I'm really looking forward to it.”
She was genuinely looking forward to meeting new people, and of course to flaunting her hair and clothes at The Boardwalk. She felt full of confidence and was very much liking what she was seeing in the mirror, for the first time in a long time. Amazing what a new hairstyle and clothes can do for a girl, she thought, as she admired herself in the mirror for the hundredth time.
Chapter 7
The girls' evening at The Boardwalk turned out to be a roaring success. Rachel and even the usually confident Jen were in a little trepidation at the thought of talking to random strangers, in the hopes of finding love, but it had turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable evening. Liz was a bit of a veteran at blind dating, so she reassured the girls to just look on the experience as an opportunity to meet new people.
“The key is to think that it's just a date. Look on it as fun, practice your flirting technique, especially you Rach,” Liz advised.
“Hey, I'm not that bad, am I?” Rachel asked.
“You are that bad,” Liz and Jen replied vehemently.
“I'm just out of practice with all this flirting.”
“Waaay out of practice!” Liz and Jen chorused in unison.
“OK, OK, no need to give me a complex,” Rachel retaliated defensively, “so how does this blind date evening work then?”
“Well, it's based on an American concept,” Liz explained, “whereby men sit in one row and women in another row. You have three minutes to sit at each table and when the gong sounds you move on to the next table. Everyone has a pen and paper and if you like each other you can exchange details.”
“Three minutes doesn't seem like nearly enough time to know if you might want to go on a date with someone,” Rachel exclaimed.
“It's plenty long enough,” Jen said, “trust me, three minutes can often feel like a life time.” “Besides,” Liz continued, “it doesn't take long to make a first impression-good or bad.”
“Try everything once, that's my new philosophy,” Rachel sighed apprehensively, “so I'll give this blind date malarkey my best bash.”
“That's my girl,” Liz said, taking her friend's arm as they made their way into The Boardwalk.
There was a great buzz in the café. Everyone was standing around in small groups, chatting happily. There were two rows of ten tables located in the middle of the room, with a big bronze gong placed rather dramatically in the centre. A very dapper looking man suddenly began speaking.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you are all well this fine evening. Welcome to our Blind Date Bonanza, the first of its kind at The Boardwalk Café. If all you lovely ladies would queue in an orderly fashion on the left hand side and gents to the right, we'll let the fun begin.”
There was a slight scuffle while everyone got in line, but before long the seats were full and the gong was busily resounding every three minutes.
Soon, it was Rachel's turn to take a seat. Her first encounter was with Brian, a tall, rather attractive man. He was quite nervous, as was Rachel, but the gong chimed before they became too nervous and Rachel quickly and with much relief moved on to the next
table.
Her second encounter was with Frank, a loud-mouthed American, who completely dominated the conversation. Rachel just found herself smiling and nodding at Frank, who was still talking about himself when the gong chimed.
The evening picked up when she got chatting with Jonas, a very handsome Swedish man. She even found herself flirting with him and not too awkwardly, much to her own surprise. She was getting the hang of blind dating.
An hour later and the three girls were at the end of the table, their blind date evening at an end. “Well, how did you get on Rach?” Liz asked.
“I got a few numbers and a couple of email addresses,” Rachel smiled.
“Excellent,” Jen said, “I got a few numbers myself.”
“Me too,” said Liz, “some decent prospects there.”
“I wonder if they'll call,” Rachel pondered her list. “Course they'll call,” Jen said.
“Yeah, and there's nothing to stop you calling them, Rach,” Liz said, “this is the twenty first century after all, women can initiate contact.”
“Oh, I don't know, “Rachel worried, “won't that send the wrong message?”
“Don't be daft,” Jen said, “most men would be delighted if a woman asked him out, especially a woman as gorgeous as you, Rach.”
Rachel blushed at her friends kind words. “I suppose I could ask a man out on a date.”
Unforgettable Embrace Page 4
