Viv smiled a warm, comforting smile, and her eyes smiled along with her lips. “Exactly. Just like we are all washed whiter than snow when we seek God’s forgiveness.” She patted Rebecca’s arm with a wrinkled, spotted hand. “I think you’re ready for a real project now. Here’s how you can cast off. You’re finished practicing.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Have faith.” Viv patted Rebecca’s arm again.
Faith. Had she ever had faith? Rebecca wasn’t so sure. She had grown up learning about her family’s faith and obeying the rules—until she had hit her running-around time, that is. Could she find that faith, that assurance, that peace Viv possessed?
“Would you like to make a baby blanket, too? That yellow could work for a boy or a girl. And I have another big ball of that yarn, so you should have enough.”
“A baby blanket?” Rebecca resisted the urge to rub the soft yarn against her face. She could picture an infant swaddled in the fuzzy, lemon yellow blanket. Her infant. When she looked up, she found Viv staring at her expectantly, knowingly. Had the wise old woman figured out her secret? “A baby blanket would be nice.”
“That’s what I always think. Someone is always going to have a baby, so when I need a knitting project, I can’t go wrong with choosing a baby blanket.”
“That makes sense. I’m not sure I can manage such a fancy one as you’ve got there.”
“Well, it just so happens I have a plainer pattern etched in my mind. You’ll get the hang of it quickly, I’m sure.”
“Plainer”? How much had the woman figured out about her? Maybe she was an angel the Lord Gott had sent to help her. Nee. She definitely was not worthy of any angelic visitors. Rebecca returned her focus to Viv, who had again bent to prowl through her bag. Rebecca half feared the little woman would topple off the seat headfirst. She had a hand ready to catch Viv should that scenario play out.
“Here. You’ll need this size knitting needles, I think. I made sure that other ball of yarn was down there, too. You’re all set. Are you ready to cast on? I’m sure we can get through the entire pattern several times so you feel comfortable with it before we reach my destination.”
Rebecca picked up the different sized needles and mentally counted each stitch as she cast on. Following Viv’s directions, she began her boppli’s first blanket.
“You’re doing a great job, Rebecca. Are you comfortable with the pattern now?”
Rebecca finally looked up from the little yellow blanket forming on her knitting needles. She’d been concentrating so hard she hadn’t even realized how much time had passed. “I-I think so. I hope I don’t forget it.”
“Have no fear. I’ve written it down for you.”
“When did you do that?” Rebecca hadn’t seen the woman pull out a pen and piece of paper.
Viv laughed. “You were so intent on your stitches you didn’t even notice my squirming on the seat. Here. Look at this and see if anything is unclear or confusing. My penmanship is not the greatest.”
“It’s fine.” Rebecca skimmed the pattern quickly. “It makes perfect sense.”
Viv began poking her own project back into her bag. “Well, dear . . .
“Ach! It isn’t time for you to get off the bus, is it?”
“Yes. We’ve been in Delaware for some time.”
Rebecca bent forward to reach for her own bag. “Let me pay you for the yarn and needles.”
“Goodness, no, child.” Viv grabbed Rebecca’s hand and pulled it away from her bag. “I don’t want money.”
“You can’t go around giving yarn and needles to every stranger you meet.” Rebecca tried to reach for her bag again, but Viv’s grasp tightened.
“Seeing your delight with knitting and your enthusiasm and quickness is payment enough. I think I may have converted another lifelong knitter.”
Rebecca smiled. “I believe you have. I should have listened to my mother years ago.” About many other things, too.
“You weren’t ready then. Sometimes our preferences and interests change as we mature.”
“Are we almost at your stop?” A sudden panic seized Rebecca. She didn’t want her time with the kind, wise woman to end. Maybe she should get off the bus here, too. She could make Delaware her home. She could start over here. Surely Viv knew some place she could stay and work.
“Just a couple more miles.”
“I’ll miss you.” Rebecca’s voice came out so soft she didn’t think Viv heard her.
“You are a very sweet young lady.” Viv patted Rebecca’s hand. “Thank you for making my trip home so enjoyable.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You were you, dear. That’s all you ever need to be.”
Tears gathered in Rebecca’s eyes. How long had it been since anyone had considered her company enjoyable? She hadn’t treated people at home very well before she left, and she hadn’t been treated very well in the past few months. This one tiny woman had made a huge difference. “Danki, I mean, thank you for helping me and for being so kind.”
“I wish you all the best, dear. It was lovely meeting you. I know your family and all your people will be delighted to welcome you home. You and your little one.” With a final gentle squeeze of Rebecca’s hand the little woman hopped off the dark green bus seat and bustled down the aisle toward the open doors.
Rebecca, mouth agape, stared after her. Viv knew!
Chapter Three
Viv knew but didn’t judge. She didn’t condemn. Rebecca swiped at a tear and turned to peer out the window. Her eyes fastened on Viv’s back as she left the bus behind. Almost instantly, the tiny woman was swallowed up in the welcoming hugs of a middle-aged man and woman. It must be one of the daughters and sons-in-law Viv had mentioned. Two girls, maybe about ten or twelve years old, hopped about waiting for their turn to hug their returning and obviously revered grandmother.
Oh, to have such a homecoming reception. She imagined her homecoming would be quite different. No doubt she’d be greeted with scowls and frowns rather than smiles and hugs. She expected accusations and bitterness and harsh words instead of heartwarming endearments. Maybe she should get off the bus now, run after Viv, and beg for her assistance. Maybe she should stay on the bus until the end of the line and create a new life wherever she ended up.
Another tear slid silently down Rebecca’s cheek. To her surprise, Viv turned to scan the bus windows until she located the one with Rebecca’s face pressed to the glass. Viv smiled her big, beautiful smile, nodded once, and gave Rebecca a thumbs-up sign. Rebecca sniffed. She raised her hand and returned the sign. Viv had faith things would work out for the best. Rebecca would do well to find a little spark of this faith and try to fan it into full flame. She smiled and waved goodbye to her new freind, her angel in disguise, as the bus jerked forward.
Rebecca pressed her head against the high back of the bus seat and squeezed her eyes closed. If Viv believed she was a gut person, perhaps her family would believe she had changed. There was a slim chance Mamm and Daed would welcome her home, but the rest of the community—well, that could be a totally different story. Would she be able to live as an outcast if it came to that?
She could seek forgiveness, and she would. The people would forgive her because they had to. It was their way. But would they truly accept her back into the fold, or would they simply murmur polite words while keeping their distance? She could imagine Viv saying, Live one day at a time, dear. Don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. That’s what her dear grossmammi would say, too. Rebecca bowed her head and silently poured her heart out to Gott.
She flicked a wayward strand of hair from her face and tried to poke it into the elastic band holding her long hair back in a ponytail. She examined the few inches of the baby blanket she’d begun knitting. A new blanket. A new skill. A new Rebecca. A scared Rebecca, but a hopeful one.
Rebecca focused on her knitting as the bus rumbled along the highway, hoping the activity would settle the butterflies that stirred with incr
easing intensity every time she glanced out the window and realized she was another mile closer to home. She fought real fear when she glimpsed a Welcome to Maryland sign. Her heart rolled over itself, and her breath caught somewhere between her lungs and her nose. She patted her queasy stomach and thought of the tiny boppli riding the waves of nausea. Poor boppli. It didn’t ask for any of this.
Public transportation could not take her all the way to Southern Maryland. She’d have to find out other options and determine how far she could get on her own before calling an Englisch driver to fetch her. Thankfully, the phone number of Sherry Davis, an Englisch woman who often drove her Plain neighbors places, was burned into Rebecca’s memory. She certainly didn’t have enough money to pay a cab to take her all the way to St. Mary’s County. Besides, she’d feel safe with a familiar driver. Depending on the reception she got once she reached home, she might have to enlist the driver’s services to drive her out of Southern Maryland.
Rebecca gave her head a little shake. She wouldn’t think those negative thoughts. She wouldn’t panic. Yet. Her heart rate continued to increase, with an occasional erratic beat thrown in, too. Her breathing quickened, and she forced herself to breathe in slowly to a count of four and out slowly to a count of four. She read somewhere that was supposed to help calm a person down. Not true. Well, maybe if the person could stay focused on the breathing it would work. But when the person’s mind flitted about like it was skipping on stones across the creek, that relaxation breathing was a joke.
When the bus driver announced the upcoming stop near Baltimore-Washington Airport would be the only stop in Maryland before he continued on toward Northern Virginia, Rebecca folded her little blanket, jabbed the knitting needles into the ball of yarn, and carefully settled it all in the top of her big canvas bag.
She’d have to find out how she could get a little farther south before calling the driver. Should she change clothes now or wait? Despite Vinny’s ribbing, she had kept the blue dress and white kapp she’d worn when she made her escape from Maryland. Rebecca plunged her hand to the bottom of the bag to ensure the clothes still lodged there.
When the brakes squealed and the big bus rocked to a halt, Rebecca stood and hoisted her bag. She shuffled toward the front of the bus, one hand grabbing each seat as she passed to steady herself. She weaved and wobbled like she’d just stepped into a bobbing rowboat. She hadn’t realized how cozy and warm the bus had actually been until a blast of cold air slapped her as she clumped down the bus steps and set foot on Maryland soil.
A huge plane roared overhead so close Rebecca involuntarily ducked. If she strained her eyes a bit, she thought she’d be able to count the passengers on board since the plane flew so low as it approached the runway. Rebecca pulled her gaze from the plane and hurried into the combination convenience store and bus depot. After speaking with the clerk and arranging to board a small shuttle bus to Annapolis, Rebecca figured she’d better place that call to Sherry. Annapolis, even though it was more than an hour from her home, would be the closest she could get. She prayed Sherry would be available on such short notice.
Rebecca wandered to a far corner of the store and pulled a simple little cell phone from a pocket inside her bag. It was only a basic phone, not one of those smartphones she had never figured out how to use. Just the same, she’d have to get rid of the phone once she knew for sure she’d be staying in Clover Dale. She’d hang on to it for the time being, but it would need to be charged soon.
Please let her answer. Please let her be able to make the trip to Annapolis. Rebecca counted the rings. At five, she feared the thing would go to voice mail. Then what would she do? What would she do if Sherry couldn’t make the trip? It would be expensive to get a hotel room in Annapolis for sure and for certain. Her finger hovered over the end button, ready to disconnect, when a voice crackled across the line.
“Hello?”
“H-hello.”
“Hello? Is anyone there? I can’t hear you.”
Rebecca forced herself to talk louder, even if her voice did carry across the store. “Sherry Davis?”
“Speaking.”
“Hi, um, this is Rebecca Zook.”
“Rebecca? Well, what a surprise. Where are you, honey?”
Rebecca was sure news of her departure had run throughout the Amish grapevine and jumped clear over to the Englisch neighbors. She hadn’t elicited Sherry’s help when she had slipped away for fear Sherry would try to talk her out of leaving the community. Sherry was a gut freind to her Amish neighbors and cared about their well-being. Rebecca cleared her throat. “I-I’m going to be in Annapolis soon. W-would, uh, c-could you pick me up? I know it’s short notice and—”
“You bet, Rebecca.” Sherry jumped in before Rebecca could continue to stumble over her request. “I’ve got to change my clothes, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. You know it will take a good hour to an hour and a half for me to get there, depending on the traffic.”
“That’s fine. Danki, Sherry.”
“Oh, honey, I know your folks are going to be so happy to see you.”
Rebecca didn’t count on that, but since Sherry was a mother herself, Rebecca hoped the woman was right. They made arrangements for meeting before Rebecca ended the call. She dropped the phone back into her bag and made her way across the store to the restroom. According to the big clock over a sign advertising some new soft drink, she had time to change clothes before the shuttle arrived.
Chapter Four
Rebecca twisted her long hair into its familiar bun and pinned the white kapp on her head. She needed to pin her dress only a little looser at the waist. Her weeks of nausea had kept her from putting on the expected weight. An Amish girl looked out of the mirror at her before leaving the restroom; a pale, scared-looking girl with big, green eyes. She would have to wear the Englisch jacket, though. Since it had been summer when she left home, she hadn’t brought any kind of cloak with her.
Rebecca thought about leaving the other Englisch clothes behind but stuffed them into the bottom corner of the bag where the Amish clothes had been just in case she should need them again. She dragged in a deep breath and yanked open the door. A very different young woman emerged from the restroom. She hoped the store clerk wouldn’t comment on the change.
It was funny how the Amish clothes she couldn’t wait to throw aside now felt comfortable and right. Rebecca rushed to the front of the store to see if the shuttle had arrived. She didn’t want to miss it, for sure and for certain. She almost grabbed a package of crackers or pretzels or something dry and salty to soothe her upset stomach, but then she would definitely have to face the clerk.
A short, white bus, more like an extra-long van, screeched to a stop just outside the store’s front window. Big black letters proclaimed the vehicle was indeed the shuttle. Rebecca hurried to the door and out into the cold. She climbed the steps, handed the driver her ticket, and made sure the shuttle would let her off in the shopping center where the Amish market was located. Sherry was familiar with the place and had told Rebecca to try to get off the shuttle there.
With that settled, Rebecca scooted back to take a middle seat so she would be a little farther from the open door and the cold air blasting inside. She thought about knitting some more, but her fingers were too cold to bend. She briskly rubbed her hands together to get the blood flowing, but she suspected her ragged nerves contributed almost as much to the condition of her hands as the cold air did. She couldn’t rub away nervousness. Instead she thrust her hands under her legs, hoping whatever body heat she possessed would thaw them. When the bag she’d set on the floor between her feet began to slide as the bus started moving, she pressed her feet tighter together. Gut. No one sat beside her. She wouldn’t have to make polite conversation with anyone. She could decide what to say to Sherry Davis, who would probably not allow a silent ride home.
At least Rebecca didn’t feel out of place at the Amish market. She altered her plan to wait outside for Sherry when the wind
nearly ripped the kapp off her head. Now her fear was that Sherry wouldn’t arrive before the market closed and she’d be forced to stand in the cold. Heavenly scents wafted in her direction as soon as she pushed through the door. Rebecca wandered around checking out the various offerings. Her stomach growled and her mouth watered. Everything looked so tasty. Most of the cookies in her bag had cracked and crumbled during the long bus ride. She’d eaten the largest crumbs, but the sights and smells in the market stimulated her appetite anew.
On one side, a long glass case held all sorts of cheeses, lunch meats, rolls, breads, and sandwich fixings. Rebecca doubted her stomach could handle a big deli sandwich. Across the way, another display case contained shoofly pie, peach pie, apple pie, chocolate cake, fudgy brownies, oversized snickerdoodles, and oatmeal raisin cookies. An oatmeal cookie might be the best thing for her stomach.
The workers were dressed very much like her, except for the Englisch jacket. They nodded and smiled at her as she passed by. If she hadn’t been so cold, she might have shrugged out of the jacket so she didn’t feel so self-conscious. As it was, she’d have to endure her qualms rather than sacrifice the warmth of the jacket. She hoisted her heavy bag higher and quickly explored the rest of the market. Some of the workers had begun cleaning their work areas, so Rebecca assumed the place would be closing fairly soon. The market reminded her of the dairy back home, though the dairy was much smaller. It, too, sold a variety of cheeses and assorted baked or preserved foods.
When she spun around to return to the entrance to watch for Sherry, she spied a sign for big, soft pretzels. Her stomach let out a loud rumble. The pretzel would be dry and salty and filling. Surely her belligerent stomach wouldn’t revolt at that. She moved closer to ask for a pretzel but figured she’d better make sure she had enough money for a pretzel and a drink and still have Sherry’s fee, which would be pretty hefty since she had to drive so far. Rebecca set the canvas bag on the floor and began rummaging through it for her wallet when a soft voice made her look up.
The Reconciliation Page 3
