by Jade Winters
‘No, not really. I generally keep to myself.’
The shock of realising that isolation was another price she had paid due to fear saddened her. Bar Frankie, she didn’t have any real friends, no one she was really close to. Even after living in Paris all those years, Fiona was the only person she had really opened up to. Of course being a street photographer meant she talked to strangers daily but there was never any meaningful connection. Taking photos from afar and then asking permission to use the image sometimes perturbed people. As if their privacy had been invaded. Why did she choose that career? Because it gave me control back. In a sense she had become a stalker herself; capturing people going about their lives, in some instances photographing them when they were at their most vulnerable.
Emma shifted in her seat. ‘Is there an ex-partner in your life who doesn’t want to let go?’
That was easy. Fiona had been her only real partner. Yes, she’d had brief flings with other people but never anything serious.
‘Only Fiona, but I ended things with her over seven months ago. She only knows where I’m staying because my mum told her plus the burglary happened before she arrived. To be honest, I haven’t really done any serious dating, before or after.’
Lauren still couldn’t understand why she’d lowered her guard with Fiona, letting her into her life. Loneliness. I’ve got even more of it to look forward to once I leave London … and Emma.
Emma looked upwards, tabulating the information. ‘What about Fiona’s ex-partners? Are any of them on the scene? Could they be jealous of you?’
‘Nope. Not that I know of anyway.’
Lauren stared at Emma, contemplating a future without her. Could she really do it? Leave her again? What was her life worth merely existing in Paris? She’d felt alive since reuniting with Emma. Energy coursed through her veins and she couldn’t wait for dawn to break just to see her again.
‘She’s a very attractive woman,’ Emma said, eyes focused on the screen in her hands.
Lauren turned away. ‘Fiona? Yes, she is.’
‘How did you meet?’
The sky split open, releasing a torrent of rain that viciously battered the top of the car. Neither woman seemed to notice. Lauren could sense Emma’s eagerness to learn about her ex, and Lauren couldn’t believe that the woman she thought she had been in love with was only a blip in her memory. Sitting there with her, Lauren felt like Emma was the only woman who had ever owned her heart. The only one who could ever win it.
‘Fiona’s an artist,’ Lauren started, her eyes momentarily following people with bags overflowing with food as they dashed for cover from the downpour. ‘She was showing her work at a gallery I attended. I was impressed with her passion for her art. She said she’d never paint again unless I had dinner with her.’
Emma rolled her eyes. ‘I’ll have to use that line sometime—not.’
‘And the rest is history, as they say.’ Had she known how things would turn out, she would have happily let Fiona retire.
Emma closed the cover over her iPad and put it back into her bag. ‘If only the police could take the fingerprints from the letters and match them to Mike’s.’
‘Yeah, like that’ll happen. He’d have to be pretty stupid to send them with his fingerprints all over them.’
‘You never know.’
Lauren pressed her fingers to her temples. ‘So after that questionnaire, we’re back to square one.’
‘Yeah—Hey, hold on a minute!’ Emma’s excitement broke through the darkness. ‘We don’t have to wait for him to turn up here.’
‘We don’t?’
‘No. You know that saying about Google being your friend? Well, so is Facebook. It’s a long shot but there’s a function called “Friendship Map” which allows you to see your friends’ location.’
‘Are you serious?’ The thought of people willingly giving up private information without a second thought of what it could lead to appalled her. That was one of the reasons she didn’t have any social media accounts and why the phone she used was a cheap Nokia; its only function was to make and receive calls. Technology had gone too far in the way of allowing strangers to know your every move.
‘Very serious. I’ll add him as a friend, I’m sure he’ll remember me. If he accepts we should be able to see exactly where he is. We’ll even know his address.’
‘I don’t want to go to his house. It has to be somewhere public.’
‘Okay, don’t worry we’ll concentrate on his workplace then.’
‘What if he doesn’t accept your friend request?’
‘Then we stick to the good old-fashioned stakeout.’
Lauren liked it when Emma said ‘we’. It felt good to have someone fighting beside her.
‘Do you fancy a bodyguard for the night?’ Emma ventured.
‘Depends.’ Heat rose inside her, bringing her perilously close to saying something she might very well regret in the morning.
‘On?’
Lauren looked her over with raised eyebrows. ‘On whether she’s five foot eight and has smouldering brown eyes …’
Amusement danced in Emma’s eyes. ‘I think I can conjure up someone like that.’
Lauren liked Emma’s flirtatious nature—a lot.
‘That’s sorted then. I’ll get a takeaway on the way.’ Lauren put the car into drive and headed home. Having Emma nearby was reassuring, but it was also very tempting.
***
‘Just water for me, thanks.’
‘No wine?’ Emma asked, her face emerging from the side of the fridge door.
‘Nah.’ Lauren unpacked the Chinese silver containers and spooned rice and curry onto the plates on the table. ‘I’m not in the mood.’
Emma crossed over to the sink with a clean glass from the cupboard and put it under the tap. She flipped the lever and water spewed into the glass, spraying her face in the process. She yelped and stumbled back, straight into Lauren who had run to her aid.
‘I should have warned you about that tap,’ Lauren said apologetically and gently dabbed Emma’s face with a napkin.
Emma’s cheeks were stained red. ‘It’s okay.’
Does she know how gorgeous she looks when she blushes? As hard as Lauren tried not to, she imagined the flush on Emma’s cheeks in the afterglow of making love to her. Fire raced through her blood as she thought of what it would be like to lie naked with her. A slow, throbbing desire moved through her, but this wasn’t the best time to let her imagination run wild. She averted her gaze, afraid of what Emma might see in her eyes, then stepped away from her and gestured at the table.
‘We better eat before our food gets cold,’ Lauren said, ignoring the ache that had settled between her thighs.
‘I suppose we should,’ Emma said. ‘I’ll just get you that drink.’
Tentatively lifting the tap lever this time, she filled the glass with water and joined Lauren at the table.
‘You know, I’m getting used to this,’ Emma said, toying with her food.
Lauren noticed the sadness in her eyes and guessed what she was thinking; her own thoughts were the same. Time was moving so fast. In just over a week she would be back in Paris.
‘Me too,’ Lauren said, knowing full well she would be as hurt as Emma if, or when, the time came to say goodbye.
‘At least we saw each other again,’ Emma said half-heartedly.
‘Yes, there is that.’
They ate the rest of their meal in silence. Tiredness stung Lauren’s eyes, and despite not wanting to part with Emma so soon, the long day had caught up with her. She pushed her plate away and started to clear the table.
‘I’m taking a shower then calling it a night. I’m knackered.’
Disappointment flickered across Emma’s features. ‘Okay. Don’t worry about the plates. I’ll load the dishwasher.’
‘Are you sure?’
Emma scraped the remains of her food into the rubbish bin. ‘Yes. Now go. If it’s not too late and Mike accepts my
friend request, do you want me to let you know?’
‘Yes.’
***
After her shower, Lauren slipped between the covers, naked. The sheets were cold against her skin. She imagined entwining her body around Emma—
Don’t even go there.
By the time Lauren drifted to sleep, Emma hadn’t knocked.
Chapter Twenty
Emma had awoken an hour before and was on her second cup of coffee. The familiar sound of her Facebook notification had slid into her subconscious, rousing her from her slumber. Seeing that Mike had accepted her friend request, it had been impossible to go back to sleep. If it hadn’t been six o’clock, she would have woken Lauren right there and then. Instead she’d contained herself by keeping an eye on Mike’s location and tracking him to his workplace—just where they needed him to be.
At seven thirty, Emma couldn’t wait any longer. She hurried down the hallway, tapped on Lauren’s door, and thrust it open with more energy than she’d intended.
Lauren jerked awake with a start, the duvet falling away from her body, revealing perfectly formed breasts. Emma’s breath caught in her throat. Unable to tear her eyes away, she rushed her hand up to cover them.
‘I am so sorry.’
‘It’s okay.’ The sexiness of Lauren’s husky morning voice didn’t help the situation.
An unexpected throb below Emma’s waist made her grateful she wasn’t a man. Her instant desire would have been difficult to disguise.
‘It’s just that, um, Mike accepted my friend request.’
Stop thinking about her breasts, Emma repeated over and over in her head.
Lauren sounded alert when she asked, ‘Can you see his location?’
With her eyes still covered, Emma nodded. She heard the quilt ruffle and the sound of light footsteps. Two thoughts crossed her mind. One: Is she completely naked? Two: Will she notice if I peek?
‘You can uncover your eyes. I’m decent.’
Emma lowered her hand, disappointed to see a white dressing gown covering Lauren’s body, though the white fabric suited her slight olive complexion.
Lauren pulled her hair into a bundle on top of her head and expertly clipped it into place. Emma’s eyes were drawn to her cute ears, and she fought the urge to reach out and caress them as Lauren walked passed.
‘I’m going to take a shower,’ Lauren said. ‘Mike must be on an early shift.’
When Emma had first broached the idea of confronting Mike, Lauren doing it alone hadn’t been part of her agenda. ‘I really don’t like the idea of you going alone.’
‘I promise if I feel like I’m in any danger, I’ll scream like a banshee,’ Lauren said lightly.
‘Just make sure there are people around to hear.’
‘I promise.’ Lauren looked back at her. ‘I can’t thank you enough for doing all this.’
‘Please don’t get any ideas about me being Mother Teresa. I’m kind of hoping this gets sorted so I can persuade you to move back to London.’
Lauren smiled. ‘Let’s hope this is the beginning of the end.’
Emma left shortly after, the image of Lauren’s breasts foremost in her mind. Two hours later, the memory was still vivid as she sat in her office, gazing out of the window, daydreaming.
Gina walked in without knocking, and she wasn’t happy. Does she know about me visiting Louise?
‘Is everything all right?’ Emma asked innocently.
‘No. No, it’s not. You’ve got a visitor, he said he’s here to talk to you about Louise. I hope this isn’t the person who attacked her, Emma.’
Emma looked at the door then heard the familiar sound of Jay’s voice.
Shit, I forgot to call him. Which wasn’t surprising, seeing as Lauren had been occupying her every thought.
‘Gina. It’s a long story, but trust me on this I know what I’m doing.’
‘I don’t like this one bit, Emma. You shouldn’t be involved with this person, not while the situation with Louise hasn’t been resolved.’
Emma was about to say that Louise had admitted Jay hadn’t attacked her, when she realised she would be outing herself.
‘I’ll talk to him,’ Emma said. ‘And I’ll make sure he doesn’t come here again.’
With Gina’s anger sated, Emma grabbed her jacket and went to find Jay.
Emma spotted him in conversation with Jack in the corridor and told him, ‘Come on. Follow me.’
Outside, she waited until they were away from the building before stopping.
‘You look pissed off.’ Jay thrust his hand in his pocket and withdrew a packet of cigarettes. Tapping the packet, he took one out and shoved it between his lips before lighting it.
‘I am, to be honest. You shouldn’t show up at my workplace without—’
‘You said you’d call me.’
‘I know I did. I meant when I had something useful to tell you.’
She watched silently as he took a drag from the cigarette. ‘So you haven’t spoken to Louise then?’
‘Let’s talk over there,’ she said, pointing to a wooded area across the street. They walked on in silence until they reached a small bench under an oak tree with barren branches. Emma sat down, but Jay remained standing.
Jay flicked his cigarette on the ground. ‘So?’
‘So?’
A petite woman with dirty blonde hair walked by with her German Shepherd puppy. The dog lunged towards Emma and jumped up on her lap with large, muddy paws. Embarrassed, the owner tried to tug him away, but to no avail.
‘Sabre, bad boy,’ the woman said.
Emma laughed as Sabre nestled his head against her stomach. She didn’t mind getting dirty. It was only mud.
‘It’s okay,’ Emma said. ‘He’s absolutely adorable.’
The woman snorted. ‘Adorable? I’ve only had him a week and he’s managed to destroy my best pair of shoes and wrecked my sofa. And don’t get me started about him keeping me up all night.’
‘Sounds like a naughty kid,’ Jay said, reaching over and ruffling the dog’s fluffy fur.
‘And then some.’ The woman gave one final tug on the lead and Sabre leapt down. ‘Come on. Home time for you.’
The woman trotted behind Sabre as he dragged her towards a tree.
‘She’s got her hands full with him,’ Emma said, chuckling.
‘Yeah,’ Jay agreed, lighting up another cigarette.
Emma’s eyes narrowed. ‘They’re bad for you, you know.’
‘Yeah, I’m going to give them up once this situation with Louise is sorted,’ he said and took a deep pull. He slowly released a great plume of grey smoke.
Sitting there, she struggled to understand why Louise hadn’t felt comfortable enough to discuss Jay with her. She thought she’d provided Louise with a safe haven to open up in and speak honestly about her life. Obviously, Emma had been wrong. She studied Jay and wondered where he’d got the strength at his age to stand out in a world of conformists. To stand alone in a society that didn’t understand transgender people.
‘Sabre, come back here now! Sabre!’
The blonde-haired woman chased after her puppy, who had broken free from his lead and was legging it across the park. Her shrill voice faded as she disappeared into the woods.
Jay looked at the unfolding scene with concern. ‘Do you think I should help?’
‘They’ll be fine. The direction he’s going in doesn’t lead anywhere. He’ll have to stop a bit further up. She’ll catch up with him at the other end.’
‘If you say so.’
Emma pulled her jacket tighter around her chest as a cold gust of wind blew over her. Crossing her legs, she looked up at Jay, who was puffing on the cigarette for dear life.
‘Do you mind telling me how you met Louise?’ she asked, genuinely interested about their relationship.
A grin grew on his face, and Emma couldn’t help but smile too. She knew exactly what it was like to have the person you loved make you brim with happiness.<
br />
‘A few weeks ago at a party. She was with her friends, and I was alone most of the night.’ His eyes clouded over as though he were reliving the night. ‘I spilt a drink on her by accident. She was wearing a white silk top her mum had bought her. Any other person I know would have freaked out, but not Louise. She said the stain added character to the blandness of it.’
‘That sounds like Louise,’ Emma said, thinking back to the conversations they’d shared over the months. Louise wasn’t like most teenage girls whose main motivations in life pertained to boys, clothes, and iPhones. Louise was more interested in finding herself and exploring the world around her.
‘Do you mind if I sit down?’ Jay asked. He flicked his cigarette on the floor and stamped on it. ‘My ribs start hurting if I stand for too long.’
‘No, of course not.’ She shuffled to the edge of the bench and Jay slowly sat, wincing in pain. ‘You were saying?’
‘What? Oh yeah.’ Jay ran a hand through his hair. ‘Yeah, so after I spilt the drink on her, I said I’d walk her home so she could change. Her friends were over her like a rash, warning her off me and telling her she was a freak if she had anything to do with me. They said this blatantly in front of me, calling me a weirdo and shit like that.’
‘That must have been very hurtful,’ Emma said. So that’s why Louise’s friends were laughing at her and calling her names. Because of her association with Jay. Why didn’t she just tell me the truth?
‘Believe me, I’ve heard people call me worse, so what they were saying wasn’t worth jack shit.’ Jay laughed briefly. ‘If you could have seen the looks on their faces when she walked out with me. Man, it was priceless.’
‘And you became close after that?’ Emma asked.
‘Yeah. She’s the only person my age I can talk to.’ Jay took his cigarette packet from his jacket, but instead of taking one out, he repeatedly turned the packet over between his fingers. ‘She doesn’t judge or nothing.’
‘I can imagine. Louise is a very lovely person.’
