by Rachel Hanna
"Yes, it is..." I heard Tanner say from behind me. I wasn't sure if he was commenting on the barn or my behind, and I wasn't about to ask.
"Tanner, you've got to stop coming into the house like this. This is my home now, and I need my privacy. Understand?" I said pointedly as I moved past him to check the coffee pot.
"Yes, ma'm. I understand. It's just that I noticed the front door was cracked open a bit, and I didn't want you to be alarmed. If you don't push on it real hard, it will just pop open even after you've locked it. It's a heavy door..."
"Oh, well thanks for letting me know that. I will be sure to push hard and check it when I leave," I said.
"You're leaving for the day?" he asked.
"Yes. I figured I better check out the town, get some groceries. Plus, I need breakfast, so maybe I will hit your Mom up for some good food," I said smiling. Why was I trying to get into his good graces? I had to remind myself that I wasn't looking for a date.
"Want some company?" he asked looking down at his boots as if he was a bit shy about asking. He was wearing a cowboy hat this morning and a gray t-shirt. How could someone look so good covered in sweat and mud?
"Sure, that would be great. I don't know my way around at all," I agreed.
"I'll drive," Tanner said pointing toward the back door.
"I have a car...." I said trying to regain control of the situation.
"Shannon, you're in the deep South now. We're not in the city. If I go into town with a woman driving me around, my buddies will never let me live it down," Tanner grinned and shook his head.
"I see... Well, I wouldn't want to destroy your manhood, so I guess you can drive me," I said smiling at him as I picked up my purse and walked toward the door.
We walked outside, and I started looking around for his car. Instead, he started walking toward a carport near the guest house.
"We're riding in that?" I gasped as I saw Tanner had a very tall black pickup truck.
"You don't like trucks, Shannon?" Tanner laughed as he walked backward looking at me.
"Well, it's not that I don't like them...." I tried to back pedal but he had already caught me at my most pretentious.
"City girls..." Tanner muttered with a smile and opened the passenger door. "There's a step right there so you can get up in there easier," he said.
My sandals had small heels on them, so when I tried to climb up, my foot slipped. I fell backward, but Tanner's large, rugged hands caught me before I hit the red Georgia clay. I landed with my back against his chest, and I could feel his warm breath on my neck as I tried to climb up again. This time, Tanner picked me up like a baby and lifted me into the truck.
"Uh... thanks..." I muttered as my red flushed face took over. I quickly turned my head so Tanner couldn't see how his spontaneous act of chivalry had lit my body up like a Christmas tree.
"No problem... You just looked like you needed a little help," he said shutting the door.
I looked around Tanner's truck and noticed a picture hanging from his rearview mirror. It was a little girl, about 5 years old. She had beautiful blond ringlet curls. Just then, Tanner climbed up into the truck and noticed me looking at the picture and smiling.
"She is beautiful..." I said, touching the edges of the picture.
"That's my daughter... Emmy..." he whispered. I could tell he was uncomfortable, so I didn't ask any questions.
He cranked the car, and that was the extent of the conversation about Emmy. I knew instinctively that something about her was upsetting to him, but I didn't know what.
We drove for a bit before Tanner spoke again.
"So, pretty lady, I assume you'd like to eat first?" he asked. I loved the way he said "pretty lady". I knew it was just a Southern term, but it still hit me right in the gut. No man had ever talked to me that way. John's pet name for me was "bitch" which was a far cry from "pretty lady".
"Sure. I am excited to see your Mom's place.... and the rest of town," I said.
"Well, there ain't much to the town. Just a small square. Carter's Mill is a tiny town," Tanner said looking up ahead at the long stretch of country road in front of us.
"Then we should be able to see a lot of it today?" I asked.
"We should be able to see all of it today!" Tanner said laughing.
Just as we pulled into town, my cell phone rang. It was Parker. I wasn't going to answer it, but I knew I may never get into touch with him again.
"Hello?"
"Shannon?"
"Hi, Parker. What do you need?" I said in a cutting tone that left no question about my feelings for him.
"I am just calling to make sure that you did take possession of the house in Carter's Mill..."
"Yes, I did. And thanks a lot for failing to tell me about Tanner James being there," I whispered into the phone turning my head. I could see Tanner smiling out of the corner of my eye.
"Oh, yes, I forgot about that. He's just a hired farmhand. Kind of a redneck, really. Anyway, I am also calling to tell you that your insurance money will be coming in a couple of months. I will have it deposited into your bank account," he said.
"A couple of months? How am I supposed to live until then?" I shouted into the phone.
"I guess you need a job, Shannon... Have a good day," Parker said as he hung up. I could hear the grin in his voice. John's meanness seemed to be wearing off onto Parker.
"Everything okay?" Tanner asked as I ended the call and put my phone back in my purse.
"Things haven't been okay for 18 years. Why would they be okay now?" I muttered as tears started to stream down my face. The stress of the last week had finally hit me hard. Embarrassed, I turned my head as far as I could from Tanner. Then I felt him pulling the car over in front of a tiny hardware store on the square.
"Shannon?" Tanner reached over and pulled on my shoulder. I swiveled in my seat until there was no way to hide my tears.
"I'm sorry. This isn't your problem...." I said, but the sobs just came anyway.
Instinctively, Tanner unbuckled his seatbelt, slid over and pulled me close into a hug. My face was pressed into his chest and I could smell his cologne. My God, he smelled good. I wanted to pull away, but I didn't have the strength to do it. I continued sobbing until his shirt was soaked with my tears.
Tanner had one arm around my back and used his other hand to stroke the back of my head.
"It's going to be okay, Shannon. It's hard to lose someone you have loved for 18 years..." he whispered. He thought the tears were for John. Any normal wife would be crying because her husband had died. Not me. I was crying because he imprisoned me in life, and now he was doing it in death.
I decided that part of my healing had to be about honesty. Tanner was my first friend in this town, and I was going to start with him. I pulled back and sat up, looking at Tanner's beautiful green eyes.
"Tanner, I'm not crying for John. I despised my husband," I said. The words cut me like a knife. I felt like he would judge me and think I was a terrible person. Instead, his face didn't change.
"Tell me more about it, Shannon. I am a great listener," Tanner said patting my knee.
"Where do I even start? Well, first, I've never told anyone this except my own sister... John and I met when I was young. I was only 21 when we got married. At first, he was attractive to me because he was a badboy. Once we got married, he totally changed. He went to law school while I worked to pay for it. He was extremely abusive to me... mentally and emotionally. Never physically, although he was close a couple of times. He called
me names on a daily basis. Cheated on me and flaunted it. And now, even in death, he is taunting me. He sold the home, traded for this one and gave it to his friend. He left me nothing but a small insurance policy. That phone call was Parker, his friend, telling me that the money wouldn't be available to me for a couple of months and that I should get a job," I said starting to well up with tears again. "It's not that I am opposed to working. I just don't have any skills because he made me stay
home and would never let me go to college..."
“Gosh, Shannon, I had no idea. I’m really sorry that your marriage was like that. But, if it’s a job you need… I can help you with that,” Tanner said opening the truck door and jumping down. He ran around to my side and opened the door.
I gingerly made my way down out of the truck. It was a heck of a lot easier to get out of it than into it.
“Tanner, where are we going?” I asked as he slammed the door behind me.
“Come on…” Tanner said as he automatically reached back and grabbed my hand. I pulled away out of protection. He stopped a moment and looked at me before continuing to walk.
“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t thinking…” he said.
“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean anything by it,” I said.
“Right. I didn’t mean anything by it…” Tanner responded. It was almost as if he was trying to convince himself by saying it.
Chapter 9
The town square was lovely. It was lined with trees and everyone waved when you walked by. People would say “hey” when we would pass them. I was amazed at how comfortable I felt there.
“Tanner, again, where are we going?” I asked as we continued to walk down the sidewalk.
“Right here,” Tanner pointed as we came to a diner on the right. His mom’s diner.
As we entered, I immediately felt at home. This was a true old fashioned Southern diner. There was a long bar at the front where patrons could sit and enjoy a meal. There were red, old timey booths lining the walls. The floor was black and white checkered. I thought places like this only existed in the movies.
“Hey, Momma!” Tanner yelled out as a woman who looked to be in her 60’s came out from behind the counter. Wearing a hot pink apron with a big poodle on it, the woman looked like she had just stepped out of the 50’s. It was like traveling back in time.
“Hey, honey!” The woman planted a big kiss on Tanner’s cheek. For a moment, I had a pang of jealousy that she got to kiss him. Where did that come from, I thought to myself.
“Momma, this is my new friend, Shannon Harris. She’s living at the house now. Shannon, this is my mother, Claire,” Tanner made the introductions just like a good Southern gentleman.
“Well, hi there, honey! Give me a hug, that’s how we greet each other up here!” she laughed a hearty laugh as she gave me one of the biggest bear hugs I’d ever had. It made me miss my own mother. There is nothing like a mother’s love.
“Nice to meet you, Claire. You have certainly raised a fine son. And quite a cook,” I said smiling as she continued to hold my hands in hers.
“Oh, yes, he definitely has my cooking skills. He’s a wonderful son,” she said letting go of my hands and putting her arm around his waist. She was a tiny, yet plump, woman with fiery red hair worked up into a bun.
“Thanks, Momma… Listen, do you still have an opening here for a waitress?” Tanner asked.
I could feel the fear welling up inside of me. Was he asking her for me? I had no waitressing experience, and honestly didn’t think I wanted any either.
“Yes, I do actually. I need someone part-time… about 20 hours a week. Why do you ask?”
“I think he is asking for me, Claire. And while I appreciate that, Tanner, I don’t have any waitressing experience…” I started.
“Oh, honey, you don’t need any experience! It’s not exactly rocket science,” Claire said with a deep belly laugh. “Shannon, if you need to think it over, you can just let me know in a couple of days. The pay is $9 an hour, and I would need you to work Monday through Friday from 11 to 3,” Claire said.
“Thank you, Claire. I will definitely consider it. I appreciate your generosity,” I said. She looked at me for a moment as if she was sizing me up.
“You ain’t from around here are you, Shannon?”
“No, ma’m. I am from Atlanta. My husband died recently, and he owned this place so I moved in…” I couldn’t figure out how to explain my strange situation. Suddenly, I felt Tanner’s hand on the small of my back, as if he was supporting me while I explained who I was. I didn’t pull away.
“Momma, you nosy lady, leave the poor girl alone. She may not like to gossip like you do,” Tanner playfully chided Claire.
“Claire! We need you over here. This stupid cash register is acting up again…” called one of the waitresses from behind the counter.
“Sorry, folks, gotta go. Duty calls. Tanner, hon, call me later. I want to get an update from you about Emmy, okay?” she whispered as she hugged Tanner. There was the name Emmy again. I wondered where his daughter was.
“Are you ready to eat?” Tanner asked.
“Yes, I am starving. Shall we get a booth?”
“Yes, we shall, my lady,” Tanner responded mocking my use of the word “shall”.
Tanner chose a booth in the corner of the diner. We sat down across from each other, and I struggled with what to say. I felt that I had already given him way too much information about me. But, it did feel nice to have a man actually listen and try to help me for once.
“Can I ask you something? I mean since I bared my soul to you in the truck,” I asked with a smirk.
“Sure. I’m an open book…” Tanner responded.
Just then, a waitress appeared to take our orders. Tanner ordered cured ham, two eggs over easy and a cup of coffee. I ordered hashbrowns covered in cheese, a waffle and orange juice.
When they waitress finally left, I worked up my courage to ask him about Emmy.
“Your daughter… does she come to visit often?” I asked without looking up.
Tension hung in the air like a thick fog for a few moments. I felt like I may have stepped over some invisible line that shouldn’t have been crossed with a man I had only known for less than 24 hours.
“My daughter is missing. I haven’t seen her in over two years,” he said in the saddest, most defeated tone I had ever heard. I wanted to reach out and take his hand. I wanted to comfort him, but I was too scared to attempt that.
“I am so sorry, Tanner. How… do you know who…” I didn’t know what question to ask him.
“My ex wife… we were divorced when Emmy turned two years old. Not a good situation. My ex got into drugs, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Anyway, we divorced and she got custody of Emmy. I fought her, but it’s hard. The judge thought the mother should have her…” his voice trailed off. I could see the pain in his face, the tears starting to well in his eyes. He choked them back down and continued. “About two years ago, I was supposed to be going back to court for custody. This time I had a good shot at it because Tina, my ex, had been in trouble with police because of drugs. Instead, she didn’t show up to give Emmy to me for visitation and I never saw her again…”
“Oh my, Tanner, I don’t know what to say. Do the police have any leads?”
“We’ve had a few here and there, but somehow Tina gets wind of it and manages to flee. I don’t even know if Emmy is still okay. It’s just very, very hard,” he said looking out the window off into the distance.
There was nothing else I could say at that moment. We sat quietly until the food came.
Chapter 10
Breakfast had been a little bit awkward after Tanner told me about Emmy. I felt so bad for him, this virtual stranger. I wanted to reach out to him like he had reached out to me in the truck, but I didn’t want to lead him on in any way.
Trying to be a friend, I asked him what his plans were for the rest of the day.
“Well, first we had better get you over to the grocery store so that you don’t continue looking for TV dinners in the kitchen,” he said, the smile returning to his handsome, chiseled face.
“Yes, please. I need some fruits and vegetables badly,” I laughed looking down at my less than healthy meal.
“After that, I have some stuff to do on the farm. Maybe you can hang out with me a bit, learn about your new home?” he said with a hopeful grin.
“Sure. I guess I’d better understand
about the horses. I know nothing about horses. I’ve never even been on one… Scared of them, actually. I think that’s why John…” I cut myself off not wanting to belabor the point that John was an ass.
“That’s why you think John got the horses? To taunt you?” Tanner asked knowing the answer.
“Yes. But, let’s not waste any more time talking about him. What’s done is done,” I said waving my hand in front of me as if that wiped away years of painful, emotional memories.
We finished our meals and headed back outside onto the sidewalk. Just as I cleared the door and took a step, my heel caught in the crack of the sidewalk sending me tumbling backwards into Tanner’s waiting arms.
