by Tiya Rayne
She took a sip of her lemonade and then placed the cup back on the table. “I know he’s going to be pissed, so not until after I’m enrolled. I don’t want him to talk me out of it. He doesn’t think I have what it takes.”
“Look, Devin, I’m no expert when it comes to relationships. I think we both know that.”
Devin laughed.
“But, I do know this, if your man isn’t in your corner, if he can’t support your dreams and encourage you to achieve greatness, then he isn’t worth your time. Life is about growth. Anything that doesn’t support that, doesn’t belong. And, if you want, I’ll be there when you tell him. Hell, I’ll even tell him for you.”
“No!” Devin laughed while shaking her head. “Oh no! You will only make it worse.”
Damn right I would. I’d tell his bum ass to kick rocks while I was at it.
I took a minute to look at my baby cousin. She’d come a long way. Everyone assumed she would never do anything with her life when she got pregnant with Kylie in high school and dropped out. I knew Devin had more in her. That’s why I encouraged her to get her GED and it’s why I made the offer to her in the first place. She was destined for greatness.
“I’m happy for you, Dev, and I’m proud of you. I always have been.”
“I know. You’ve always had my back. Thank you!”
The waitress came to the table and Devin and I dug into our food. I was half way through my broccoli and cheese bread bowl when Devin got my attention.
“Umm, Duck, do you owe someone?”
“What? No! Why?”
“Don’t look now, but to your right over your shoulder, there are two angry white women staring over here… Duck don’t look.”
Before the sentence was out of her mouth I was already turning in my seat to see who was checking for me.
Well look what we have here. Its Jackson’s little mousy ex. I would know her basic looking ass anywhere. She and her little blonde headed friend was in fact giving me the evil eye. I smiled at both of them and waved. They scoffed and turned away like I was the one being rude.
“Damn, did you spit in their drinks?” Devin chuckled when I turned back around.
“Nope! I just took her man.”
Another laugh from Devin. “I haven’t seen any one look at you like that since you were in high school.”
I shook my head, there was always some bitter girlfriend in high school. It wasn’t like I was trying to be with their men, trust, they could have had them back.
“Oh no! They’re coming over here. Duck, behave.” Devin warned.
I wasn’t worried about Jackson’s Ex trying anything. She didn’t seem like the type. Plus, she didn’t want this smoke. But I still moved my plate and drink to the side just in case a bitch got bold.
“You should be ashamed of yourself. How do you even sleep at night?” The blonde friend shouted drawing a little attention to my table.
Ok! So friend was going to run this show. Just like back in Jackson’s office, mouse was going to let someone else fight her battle. That’s fine with me.
I planted a smile on my face and leaned back in my chair to answer her question.
“Usually on my side after fucking Jackson to sleep.”
Both women scoffed as Devin choked on her lemonade.
“You are a despicable and classless woman.” Again blonde said after she recovered.
“And yet you are the one at my table causing a scene.”
The blonde friend looked around as if she’d just now noticed that we were in a public place.
She nervously pushed her long blonde tresses behind her ear, her demeanor calming.
“Karma is a bitch. If you think it’s okay to take a man away from his unborn child you are truly…”
“Hold the fuck up,” I held up my hand. “What unborn child?”
“I’m pregnant.” Mousy ass Vanessa finally found her voice. She placed her hand over her flat belly. “And now Jackson doesn’t want to be with me because of you. He told me to get an abortion.” Mouse got choked up and her friend placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Was my heart pounding in my chest? Yes! Did my head feel like it was going to explode and the temperature suddenly rise to a thousand? Yes! But I was not letting either of these chicks know. I was pissed beyond reason and as soon as I got out of here, I was going to have some words with Mr. Keller.
“Look, I have nothing to do with you and Jackson.”
The blonde scoffed and turned her nose up. I really didn’t like her.
“Anyway,” I said stretching out the word. “Whatever shit you two has going on, need to be dealt with, and you both need to leave me out of it.”
“You need to back off and allow them to be together.” Blonde lost her cool and pointed a finger at me.
I took a deep breath. I needed to count to ten or pray or something. This chick was about to make me act real hood. I was five seconds away from being on the 5 o’clock news.
“Rather I leave Jackson alone or not has shit to do with him being in his child’s life. Just because you are pregnant, doesn’t mean he has to be with you.”
“I don’t know how you people do it,” Blonde looked over at Devin and rolled her eyes.
I heard Devin mumble, “No she didn’t,” under her breath.
“But we aren’t like that. Jackson needs to be a man for once in his life and own up to his responsibilities.”
Ok! I was done with Blondie. I pushed my chair back, causing both women to take a step back. At least they had enough sense to do that.
“Only because I was in a good mood, did I allow you your five minutes of my time. However, my mood has changed and your time is up. Now you’ve been speaking to Charli, but in a few minutes I’m going to introduce you to Duck, and trust me you don’t want to meet her.”
Blondie stared me down for a moment as if she had it in her mind to say something else. However, my eyes told her she wasn’t ready for me. I was pissed and I had no qualms with dragging this bitch around this café. Even if Blondie didn’t catch on, Mouse did.
“Come on, Chelsea. She’s not worth it.” Mouse said with her hand still over her flat stomach.
Just the sight of that hand covering her non-existent belly made me furious all over again for more reasons than I wanted to admit.
Blondie, or Chelsea, squinted her eyes at me, she finally sensed the danger she was in because she backed away.
Once both females were gone, I turned back to my cousin and snatched my purse off the table in order to pay the bill.
“Duck,” Devin whined. “Don’t overreact. Give him time to explain himself.”
I was too pissed to hear her logic. I dropped more than enough money down on the table to cover the bill and a healthy tip. I didn’t even recall saying goodbye to Devin or making it to my car. I couldn’t even tell you what the traffic was like as I made it over to Jackson’s job. I was in a furious haze.
My Audi pulled up to a stop in front of Jackson’s company. I climbed out of the car and marched inside.
Jessica greeted me as I walked in.
“Hey, Charlice! You look amazing today, as always.”
I forced a smile on my face. I was pissed at her brother, but it didn’t mean I had to take it out on Jessica.
“Thank You, Jessica. Is Jackson in his office?”
“Ummm yeah, but he’s….”
I didn’t stick around to hear what else she had to stay. I was down the hall standing in front of his door before she could warn me. I opened his office door and walked in. The reasonable side of me told me to wait. It reminded me that this was his place of business and I had to respect that. However, damn all that. I needed answers and I wanted them now.
Jackson was sitting behind his desk talking to five men that all wore the red t-shirts with his company logo on it. The moment I walked in all men turned to look at me. Jackson’s eyes sparked when he saw me, that gorgeous smile sliding over his face, but when he noticed the look on my face his smile d
ropped.
“Char, what’s wrong?” He was on his feet instantly.
“We need to talk.” I demanded sauntering into the room.
I dropped my purse on his desk.
“Um, baby, I’m in the middle of something. Can we talk later?”
Again, a reasonable question.
“I just came from lunch with my cousin where I was verbally attacked by your ex and her bitchy blond friend.”
Jackson paused. His body going rigged. He knew that I knew the truth now. I watched him closely, I needed him to give me a sign, anything that told me that what I believed wasn’t true.
Without taking his eyes off me, Jackson said, “Fellas, can we finish this up a little later.”
Part of me crumbled. The only reason he would send them out was if he needed to grovel or lie, neither of which I was interested in. I hated this shit. I hated myself more for wanting Jackson to be different from what I knew men to be. I almost fell in that trap. I should have known better. I let my guard down, trying to believe I could trust a man. Damn, I knew better than this.
“You know what,” I stopped his guys from getting up. “Don’t worry about it. It isn’t worth it.”
I turned to leave and before I made it to the door, Jackson was standing in front of it blocking it with his body.
“We’re going to talk.”
“No- the fuck- we aren’t.”
“Guys, give me the room.” Jackson demanded of his crew.
“Ya’ll sit your asses back down.” I shouted.
The crew members were all standing around confused as if they had no idea who to listen to.
“I sign your gotdamn checks. Now get the hell out of here.” Jackson roared.
Each man scurried to the door and eased pass Jackson like he was a snarling guard dog. Once the last man left Jackson approached me with his hands out, I stepped away from him. His face fell and I could see how my actions hurt him, but who the fuck cares.
“Is it true?”
That’s all I wanted to know.
Did he get this chick pregnant and then refuse to be in the baby’s life because of me? I wasn’t even going to think about the abortion thing. Even the thought of him suggesting that to her turned my stomach.
“I can explain.”
At those words the back of my throat burned and my eyes watered. I didn’t need to hear anything else. I was done and nothing else he said mattered. I went to walk around him to leave and he grabbed my arm.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Jackson let my arm go and held his hands up in a surrender posture, yet he didn’t move from in front of the door.
“Char, baby! Please listen to me.”
“The only thing I wanted to hear from you was that she was lying, if that isn’t what comes out of your mouth then you have nothing to say to me.”
“She is lying. Will you please just listen?”
I didn’t want to.
My old self was telling me to walk out of this door and be done with Jackson, good sex or not. However, it was this new me that had me crossing my arms over my chest to hear what he had to say. I hated this new bitch.
“Vanessa is pregnant.” He said and again I went to leave but he blocked me. “But not by me.”
Damn I hated that little elation I got with that sentence.
“How can you be sure?”
“I’ve been fucking since I was fourteen, I know how to not get a chick pregnant. This is just the shit she does.”
Jackson walked away from the door and sat on his desk. He ran a hand through his hair. For the first time, I could tell he was exhausted. This had obviously been something he’d been dealing with for a while.
“When she and my brother showed up at my office that day, he wanted me to finally make an honest woman out of Vanessa. I told him I wasn’t and that I had moved on with you, that’s when she started talking about being pregnant. I didn’t take it serious at first, but apparently she has proven it to my sister in law and I am supposed to be the only man she’s been with.” He sighed. “Vanessa likes people to believe she’s this sweet helpless innocent girl. Her father is a pastor and she grew up in a strict religious household. On the outside she’s quiet and timid, but that is not who she is. Despite what she tells everyone, I was not her first. Instead of embracing the fact that she loves sex, she likes to play the innocent role. The only reason she is putting this baby on me, is because I’m the only guy her family has met. Plus, I’m the only one that she has been in a long term relationship with.”
“You admitted to going back and forth with your ex, how can you be so sure this baby isn’t yours?”
“Look at me, Char.” He demanded while pointing to himself. “As much as I love kids, you think I would deny a child if I thought it was mine? Besides I’ve never fucked without a condom and I always provide my own.”
Said every man ever.
“But you can’t be sure. There is no full proof plan to prevent pregnancy. Condoms break, Jackson. Birth control fails. If you fucked her any time in the time frame of her getting pregnant, you could be the father. So to tell her to get an abortion so you could be with me is disgusting.”
“What?” Jackson got to his feet. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I couldn’t do this with him. I was so not myself that I was starting to believe him. I wanted what he said to be true. All my alarm bells were going off in my head. They were telling me to run, to abort. I was losing my mind with Jackson, I couldn’t have that.
This was just the eye opener I needed. Better to do it now than when I’ve invested more of my time and energy to this charade.
I grabbed my purse off the side of his desk. He watched me carefully.
“This is why I don’t do relationships, Jackson. You need to handle your responsibilities. Lose my number.” I stated before swinging the office door open and walking out.
I heard a loud roar and what sounded like something heavy hitting a wall behind me, but I didn’t stop or turn around. That weak part of me wanted to turn. It was the part of me I buried a long time ago. It wanted me to go back in that room and hold him close to my chest and believe him. Yet, the strong part of me, the part I created one afternoon as I recovered in a hospital bed, knew that I had to cut ties. I was going down a rabbit hole with Jackson and it wasn’t safe for me. Nothing good could come from my involvement with him, this was for the better.
I wiped at my eyes as I backed out of his parking lot and headed back to my office.
NINETEEN
“Charli, come on baby. What are you doing in there?”
Howard’s voice called out from the other side of my bathroom door.
It had only been a few hours since that big blow up in Jackson’s office. However, I didn’t have time to waste mourning over something that never should have been. Despite my body and my mind telling me that fucking Howard was a bad idea, I was determined to get Jackson out of my system.
Howard was on my list for his stamina. He wasn’t exactly big in size, but he could go all night, and that’s what I needed tonight. I needed someone that could take my mind off earlier for a long time. And since Howard was a pilot, I lucked up with being able to get this time with him.
So why the hell was I still in this goddamn bathroom?
My hands were shaking at the thought of even going out there. When did this shit start happening? I looked in the mirror at myself, my make-up was flawless, my curls were bouncy, I was even looking delicious in this red Frederick’s eyelash lace bra set. Everything was set, but my nerves were all over the place and my heart was beating so fast, I might need some of Pop’s pills. Not even my body wanted this. I was as dry as a Popeye’s biscuit, no lower belly flutters or pebbled nipples. I could just as well be heading to a gynecologist I was so not in the mood. This shit never happened to me. I was always ready.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I said to the reflection in the bathroom mirror.
She had no answers fo
r me.
“Fuck it!” I pushed up from the sink where my hands were just resting. I straightened the underwire to my bra and stepped back. I took a deep breath and exhaled, before placing my hand on the bathroom doorknob.
“Char!!!” A booming voice came from downstairs.
Fuck!
I forgot to take Jackson’s key back. I’d been ignoring his text and calls all day, I should have known he would make an appearance.
I walked into the room and Howard was sitting up in the bed staring with wide eyes at my open bedroom door. He turned to me the moment I walked out and soon as his eyes landed on me, he forgot about the man in my house calling my name. That sexy smile came across his face, the one that got my attention the first time we met and fucked in the bathroom at the airport bar. Now that same smile made my stomach turn.
We were both so distracted, we didn’t hear Jackson’s heavy feet climbing up my stairs. I only noticed him when I could feel his presence at my door. He was wearing a t-shirt and his regular dark wash jeans. Nobody wore a pair of jeans like Jackson Keller. He looked the sexiest to me in just a simple shirt and jeans. That had been proven when for the first time tonight, my body woke up.
Jackson’s hazel eyes seared into me. I could see the desire, the anger, and the disappointment staring back at me. I wanted to cover up, but my robe was all the way on the other side of the room. Instead of covering I stated the obvious.
“Jackson, what the hell are you doing here?”
He completely ignored me and turned to Howard, still lying in my bed.
“I’ll give you to the count of three to get the fuck up and get out of here.”
“JACKSON!”
“One!” He announced without turning to me.
“Charli, who the fuck is this guy?” Howard demanded.
“Howard, I’m sorry, just let me talk to him.”
“Two!” Jackson continued to count ignoring us completely.
“Jackson, you can’t do this. You can’t just come in my house and demand that my company leaves. You and I are over.”
“You heard her, dude! Now get out.” Howard added.
“Three!” Jackson gave two short whistles and Lady ran into the room.
