“Hayden…” I began, trying to soothe him.
He held up a hand to cut me off. When he spoke next, his voice was shaking with rage. “We’re not staying under that fucked up monster’s roof a minute longer. Pack your things, Daniella. We’re leaving.”
Hayden’s reaction wasn’t completely unexpected. I’d known he’d be angry. But I hesitated to do as he said. Instead I sat on the bed watching helplessly as he began to haul armloads of my clothes out my gigantic walk-in closet. I struggled to come up with something to say, something that would calm him down just enough to listen to reason. Meanwhile, he tore our room apart.
“We can’t take all of this with us tonight, so pick your favorites,” Hayden instructed as he deposited a pile of designer clothes on the bed next to me. “I’ll send for the rest later. Henrik’s employees are far more loyal to me than him. I’m sure they’ll pack up anything we leave behind and get it to us even if Henrik forbids it.”
The fact that Hayden was now calling his father by his first name wasn’t lost on me.
“Hayden. You have every right to be upset, but do you think you might be overreacting?” I ventured. “Why don’t you come back to bed? You’re exhausted and still trying to wrap your head around all this. Sleep on it and we’ll talk more in the morning.”
“What happened to the woman who said she’d follow me anywhere?”
I sighed. Sometimes we were both just too strong-willed for our own good. “Let’s just talk –”
“No, I won’t stay under his roof another minute.”
“Hayden, you’re being impulsive.”
“You sound like him.”
“Well maybe he’s right.” I was trying to be as patient as I could, but I was getting a little annoyed. “There are two of us in this relationship, Hayden. I know you’re used to calling all the shots and vanishing at the drop of a hat just to get under your father’s skin but –”
Hayden stopped his rummaging and spun around to look at me. “What did you say?” he interrupted, his eyes narrowing. “How do you even know about the disappearing? I never told you about that. You’ve been talking to him, haven’t you? You’ve been talking to Henrik.”
“Yes. Hayden, I know he’s a messed up guy. He’s got all sorts of emotional problems and entitlement issues but he’s not evil and twisted like you say. I think if you’d just give him a chance then maybe…”
I trailed off when I saw how upset Hayden looked.
“Who’s side are you even on?” he demanded, sounding deeply hurt. “I thought I knew. I thought it was a given and I could count on you to have my back no matter what. But I have to say now I’m not so sure.”
“That’s not fair. I’m on your side, Hayden,” I reassured him, having to make a conscious effort to reel my temper in as best I could. “Obviously,” I couldn’t help but add, irritated that he had the nerve to question my loyalty. He was being melodramatic and a little unreasonable. Though I was trying to take it all with a grain of salt, it was starting to really get under my skin.
“Then don’t talk to him!” Hayden ordered. “Don’t ever talk to him, you understand?”
My eyes narrowed. “You don’t own me,” I reminded him, bristling at the way he was trying to control me. “Just because I like you to take charge in the bedroom doesn’t mean I’ll take orders from you the rest of the time. We don’t have to like all the same people but you never, ever get to tell me who I can or can’t speak to.”
He ran a hand through his thick dark hair. I could see the vein in his forehead sticking out like it did when he was really emotional. “You’re right,” he finally agreed, sounding a little sheepish. “Sorry. I’m just tense.”
“I know you are,” I agreed, calming. I reminded myself that I should cut him some slack given the news he’d just been confronted with. His mind must be reeling. He didn’t need me to add to the drama. “Come sit down and I’ll rub your shoulders,” I offered, patting the bed.
“No thanks. Let’s go,” he insisted, grabbing my purse and tossing it on my lap. It fell open as he did and its contents tumbled to the floor. I scowled and began to collect the various items. Hayden didn’t seem to even notice what he’d done.
He was too busy searching for something. His back to me, he opened and slammed shut a few dresser drawers. He scanned his surroundings and, evidently not having any luck, asked, “Where’s the jewellery I gave you?”
My heart sunk.
He knew I’d want to take the jewelry set with me. Of course I would. It was precious to me, not because it was worth a small fortune but because of what it represented. But he wouldn’t find it tucked away in a drawer…or anywhere else, for that matter.
“It’s gone,” I told him, my chest feeling tight. “I pawned it.” I hadn’t wanted to tell him like this. It wasn’t the right time. But he’d left me no choice. I could see the hurt in his eyes and quickly added, “I pawned it for a good reason, I promise. I can explain, Hayden.”
“I’m sure you can,” he said in a voice that was flat and emotionless. “You have an explanation for everything, Daniella. You twist everything around so you end up looking like the rational, noble one. Hell, you’ll probably tell me I should make amends with Henrik because you only get one father, right?”
I didn’t like his tone. “I do think that,” I replied cautiously, “but Hayden –”
“Look at yourself!” Hayden cut me off, sounding exasperated. “You have the audacity to lecture me about fixing things with my father, but what about you? You only see your family twice a year and hardly keep in touch with them the rest of the time! You act like you’re so strong and mature, yet you’re so jealous of your sister it’s like you’re still in high school. You’re hardly a poster child for having a well-adjusted family life. Where do you get off telling me what to do when you don’t even take your own advice?”
“That’s not fair. My relationship with my family is different,” I insisted, stunned and hurt that he’d make our argument so personal. It felt like he was on the attack and I just happened to have stepped into the line of fire.
“Is it?”
I was at a loss for words. Finally I hissed, “You have no right treating me like the enemy when the truth is you’re just too scared to take my advice.” My words were designed to cut. When attacked, I fought back. I defended myself. I went on the offensive. I was Daniella James and good or bad, it was what I did.
“I’m not scared,” Hayden retorted, his ego probably a little wounded by the suggestion.
I crossed my arms and stared at him defiantly. “Aren’t you?”
We were both silent for a moment, our eyes locked and conveying emotions I didn’t much care to try to decipher. It was almost reminiscent of the way we’d maintained eye contact as we’d had sex except instead of passion and love, all that existed between us was anger and hurt.
When he looked away, I felt abandoned. I’d rather fight with him than have him leave. My heart called out for a truce but my pride wouldn’t let me say the words. I stood there, frozen, as I watched Hayden struggle to make a decision. Usually I knew what he was thinking but this time I had no clue.
“Maybe I should go,” Hayden said quietly, sounding utterly defeated and very, very tired.
Oh, so that was what he’d been deliberating. The words were like a knife plunged straight into my heart, but I kept up a brave front. If he wanted to go, so be it. I wasn’t going to beg him to stay. “Maybe you should,” I managed to reply, my voice trembling just a bit. I tossed a pillow at him just for good measure.
He caught it easily and walked out the door with no goodnight kiss or acknowledgment of any other kind. It was as though I didn’t exist. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to burst into tears or scream. All I knew was that the beautiful future with Hayden I’d been looking forward to suddenly seemed a million miles away. In its place was a mess I didn’t quite know how to clean up. Every time I tried, I only seemed to make it worse.
Chapter 09
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br /> I slept alone that night. But really that’s a lie.
Truthfully, I didn’t sleep much at all. Instead I tossed and turned, going over our argument in my mind until I’d psychoanalyzed it to death. I realized Hayden had touched a nerve when he’d said those things about my family – maybe because deep down I knew he was probably right. I also realized I’d probably pushed him too hard too fast to try to reconcile with his father. My intentions had been noble but my execution had been way off.
Just as dawn was breaking, I decided I’d had enough. Pride was an ugly thing and I wasn’t about to let it come between us. We’d had our spat and now it was time to apologize.
I climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of Hayden’s flannel pajamas because after the mess he’d made of my closet, I had no idea where anything of mine was. I padded down the hall in my bare feet, expecting to find him asleep in one of the many guest bedrooms in the mansion.
They were all empty. Confused, I wondered where he’d gone. Then the aroma of turkey cooking captured my attention. Of course! Hayden’s passion was being in the kitchen, so maybe he’d decided to let off some steam by doing what he loved most. I hurried down the hall, eager to make up and be in his arms again.
Then I stopped short in my tracks. The live-in head chef was standing there in the kitchen peering through the window of the oven at a giant turkey that was cooking. He turned around when he heard my bare feet on the tile floor.
“Oh good morning, Ms. James,” he said. “I hope I didn’t wake you? I had to put the turkey in bright and early to make sure it was ready by lunchtime. I was just checking on it.”
“You didn’t wake me, and you’re welcome to call me Daniella,” I reminded him, not particularly comfortable with the verbal hierarchy. “Have you er…you haven’t seen Hayden by any chance, have you?” I could hardly hide my disappointment.
“Sorry.”
I sighed and decided to retreat to the bedroom. On the way there I ran into Henrik. He was shuffling along in his housecoat and slippers, a newspaper tucked under his arm and a pipe sticking out of the corner of his mouth. He looked every part a rich old billionaire.
“You’re up early,” he commented when he spotted me coming down the hall toward him.
“So are you.” I pulled Hayden’s baggy pajama top closer to my body as though it was armor. Then I told myself I was being unreasonable. It wasn’t Henrik’s fault we’d had a fight, even if the fight had been partially about him. No, the way things had escalated and gotten so ugly had been our own doing, not his.
“I’m always up at the crack of dawn if not before,” he replied, taking a puff of his pipe. “I haven’t slept past six o’clock in the morning in years. It’s one of the joys of getting old, I suppose,” he added wryly.
The small talk didn’t interest me. “Do you know where Hayden is?”
“I thought you knew,” Henrik replied, looking perplexed. “He left late last night. That was right after he threw his phone at me…but I guess I deserved that. He missed me, anyway. I don’t think he was even aiming for me. I think he just wanted to prove a point.”
Henrik’s words sounded hollow to my ear. It took a moment for their meaning to sink in and when it did, anxiety welled up in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed hard and then asked, “Do you know where he went?”
“The streets,” Henrik shrugged. “That’s all I know. I expect he’s back to his old tricks again. I’m trying not to meddle so I didn’t try to stop him or have him followed,” Henrik said with some measure of pride. “But I must say I’m surprised he didn’t tell you where he was going. I take it he didn’t react well to the news that I was behind the death threats?”
“You could say that.” I felt numb. Flashbacks to the first time Hayden had left me were attacking my brain left, right and center. Sure, he’d had his reasons for doing it that time, but that didn’t make the pain and humiliation I’d experienced as a result any less real. Now those feelings were all coming flooding back.
Taking his pipe out of his mouth, Henrik studied it thoughtfully for a moment and then frowned. “I shouldn’t have made you tell him,” he said simply, showing more insight than I’d ever seen from him before. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I said, blinking back tears. This was what I’d wanted: for Henrik to learn how to be humble and maybe even to apologize. But the timing was all wrong. It was too late. Hayden was already gone. How could he just leave me in the middle of the night?
“I should go.”
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like,” Henrik offered generously.
I shook my head, not trusting my voice.
“Where will you go?”
The answer came out of my mouth automatically, without me even having to think of it. It was what I’d wanted all along…but not like this. Not without Hayden. Squaring my shoulders, I raised my chin and looked Henrik right in the eye. When I spoke next, my voice sounded clear and calm even if inside I felt dazed and panicky. “I’m going back to Burlington.”
Chapter 10
My return to Burlington was bittersweet. It felt good to be back in my tiny one bedroom house in my comfortable, sleepy neighborhood. It was far from a mansion but it was home. I just wished Hayden was there with me. The house had never felt emptier. I had never felt emptier.
I’d left all my fancy, expensive clothes behind at Henrik’s mansion. He’d offered to have them sent to me, perhaps out of guilt, but I’d declined. Instead I’d made him promise he’d donate them all to charity. He’d grumbled about that a little, wondering what on earth a poor person would do with a designer gown or thousand dollar boots. But I’d insisted and he hadn’t put up as much of a fight as I’d expected. He was slowly but surely coming around, it seemed.
Now that I was back in Burlington, it was back to my skirt suits and sneakers – or at least I hoped so. Walking into the head of the Sociology department’s office unannounced wasn’t as daunting a task as one might have expected. I was still reeling from Hayden’s second abrupt departure from my life, so a confrontation with Clancy the Snake didn’t faze me one bit.
Or at least it didn’t after I got a pep talk from Mina.
I didn’t tell her about the argument with Hayden. That was still far too raw to talk about. I couldn’t even think about it because I knew if I did I’d fall to pieces and be far too much of an emotional wreck to fight for my career.
Instead, I called her up and explained that I was back in town and hoped to reclaim my job.
“You were always the smartest one in our study group,” she said with a touch of wistfulness in her voice as we chatted on the phone. “I bet you’re the best damn instructor that department has ever seen. You march right into that dimwit’s office and tell him he’d be lucky to hire you back! Oh, and also, I hear Mark finally quit so he could be a full-time video game nerd or something.”
That was great news. If both Mark and I were gone from the department, then there would almost certainly be at least one job opening if not two. And even better, if I got hired back I wouldn’t have to see him day in and day out. At least something was going right for me.
So I put on my sneakers – no uncomfortable stilettos for me this time – and off I went.
“Daniella,” Clancy said when I barged into his office, looking up from a stack of papers on his desk. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” The trace of sarcasm in his voice wasn’t lost on me but I didn’t let on I’d noticed. I wasn’t about to give him that satisfaction.
“I want my job back,” I told him, my gaze firm and unwavering. It was hard to not wipe the smirk off his face, but I’d once heard you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I, personally, wasn’t convinced – mostly because it didn’t seem fair to the flies to lump Clancy in with them. But I was going to give it a try.
“You resigned – and with no notice, might I add. We don’t take kindly to that.”
“Is there a vacant position or not?” I demanded, getting right
to the point.
He let out a wheeze of laughter as though my demand was somehow comical to him. “That’s not exactly how it works,” he said as though he was talking to a two year old. “You don’t get a job just because we’re hiring. First you have to qualify and after your rather unprofessional conduct, it’s highly unlikely that you’d ever have a contract position here again.”
Okay, vinegar it was, then.
“Oh spare me your bullshit,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You and I both know I’m more than qualified to teach. You’d be lucky to have me back,” I said, remembering Mina’s excellent pep talk. “Come to think of it,” I said thoughtfully, “There’s one other thing you and I both know.”
Clancy’s beady little eyes narrowed. “You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”
“Well that depends,” I said, smiling brightly just to piss him off. “If you think I’m saying I’ll go over your head and tell the dean and the ethics committee what you’ve been up to, then yes. Because that’s exactly what I’m saying!”
He glared at me but I just ignored it and kept right on talking.
“I hear the college’s strange financial problems were miraculously sorted out. Right now it’s thought that some mysterious oversight caused the budget crisis and I suspect it won’t be probed too closely due to mismanagement fears…but I could easily tell everyone the truth.”
Clancy was sweating now…sweating like a pig. It felt good to make him squirm, not just for my own satisfaction but for all the instructors whose jobs he’d endangered when he’d stolen money from the college and nearly caused widespread budget cuts. He swiped his hand across his forehead nervously. “If I give you your job back, you’ll keep your mouth shut?”
I pretended to consider the question for a long moment, secretly enjoying making Clancy squirm. “Yes,” I finally agreed. “I suppose I will…on the condition that you understand that from here on out I do not take orders from you no matter what your job title. And believe me when I tell you I’ll be watching you to make sure you don’t pull any stunts like this ever again. Do we have a deal?”
His Forever (His #3) Page 6
