She glanced around the room, delighting in all the eyes drawn to her as she waited to be picked up. She knew she looked good, dressed in a tight purple skirt that finished way above her knee, the cream sheer blouse showing the outline of her bra. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy but sexy manner, her skin tanned too from the unusually sunny weather they’d experienced for the past ten days.
A man at the back of the room waved for her attention. Keeping a smile in check, she walked over to him, putting on her own personal show as her hips swayed. High heels showed off bare legs to their maximum – it wasn’t the only thing bare that night. Ella tingled yet again in anticipation of what was to come.
‘Cassandra,’ he greeted her.
She nodded and he stood up, kissing her briefly on the cheek. She felt the slight stubble on his chin, breathed in the scent of him, masculine tones of wood and jasmine intermingled with the wild fragrances of his sex that she hoped to taste and smell soon. His eyes never left hers as she blatantly gave him the once-over. Short, sharp hair style, dark skin, pricey shirt above designer jeans, expensive-looking watch – and those blue eyes, the most passionate she’d seen in a long time. She was going to enjoy this one.
She slid into the booth next to him.
‘Do you come here often?’ he asked.
‘I come,’ she said briskly. ‘That’s all you need to know.’ She gave him a polite smile, realising there wouldn’t be any requirements for small talk, either. One of the reasons she’d joined One Night Only was for anonymity. Ella didn’t want to answer any questions about herself, nor did she want to ask any questions of her date. The less personal the conversation the better. Actually, Ella mused, the less conversation the better. It kept everything about the sex.
Wine was ordered and as they waited for it to arrive, almost immediately she felt his hand underneath the table, fingertips circling higher and higher, moving up under her skirt. She moaned slightly, opening her legs a little further as he moved aside her lace thong. While the waiter poured the wine, Ella tried not to gasp as Alex’s fingers pushed into her, his thumb kneading her most sensitive point. She felt every nerve respond in her body, trying to keep in the urge to groan at the pleasure he was causing. They stared at each other; it made everything all the more erotic.
Ella cursed loudly. This wasn’t going to plan. She felt like being in control tonight, yet in the crowded bar, while everyone chatted around them, he had her squirming in her seat. Realising she wanted more, she pressed down on his hand, urging him to stop.
‘I’m going to powder my nose. Follow me in a couple of minutes,’ she demanded quietly. ‘I want you here.’
‘Outside,’ he said.
‘Inside.’
‘Outside.’ He kissed her slowly then, lingering as his tongue ran across her top lip afterwards. ‘I’ll only have you outside.’
‘No.’
‘Do as you’re told.’ He stood up and downed his wine in one go.
Ella looked up at him, met his eye. They stared at each other, each wondering who was going to give in first. She knew if she let him have his way too early, he might think he could do anything to her. But then again, wasn’t that what she really wanted?
Ella followed suit with her drink and then picked up her bag.
Rendezvous was situated on the outskirts of the city centre, the streets around it mostly deserted apart from passing traffic. Hanley wasn’t a vibrant place at night time unless it was a weekend or student evening. In the warm air, they walked along the street, pavement dusty from recent road works. Just past the pelican crossings, Alex pulled her down a walkway between two properties. Ella grinned – it was an excellent choice as both businesses either side were now closed.
Day had started to turn into night, grey clouds casting shadows as they continued around to the back of the buildings. Behind a row of industrial bins, against a filthy wall that matched her mood, he pressed himself to her. His tongue explored her mouth, while his hands roamed her body. Ella threw back her head to expose her neck and he covered it in kisses as she entwined her hands in his hair. He continued for a moment longer. Then he took hold of her wrists and placed them either side of her head.
‘Do you like it rough?’
She stared at him, her breathing erratic.
‘Tell me what you want.’ One hand slid down her body to the hem of her skirt. He pushed his knee between her legs.
‘Tell me.’
‘I want you to stop talking and finish me off. Is that too much to ask?’
His brow furrowed for a moment.
Even so, up close, Ella realised he was even more striking; maybe she’d let him use her tonight. She kissed him again and he didn’t pull back. Her hands went inside his shirt. She could feel him hard against her hip bone. She reached down, undid the zip to his trousers and curled her fingers around him. Letting out a light groan, he nibbled on her bottom lip. Then she stooped down and took him into her mouth.
The stench from the bins was enough to make anyone gag but the faint sounds of traffic passing on the road a few yards away turned her on. No one could see them, yet she imagined that they could.
For a while she let him relax into it, anticipating the thrusts of his pelvis as she excited him more. But then he put his hands on her shoulders, urging her to stand. They kissed again. Inside his shirt, Ella ran her fingertips up and down his back. As she felt the passion building inside her, she dug in her nails.
‘Bitch.’ Without warning, he turned her round, bent her over and pushed into her roughly from behind. He moved so fast, so deep, that she gasped in pain but soon the pleasure was all hers.
‘Harder,’ she cried after a moment, using the wall to steady herself. ‘Come on! Do it.’
‘You act like a whore.’ Alex almost snarled, all the time pushing into her deeper and deeper.
‘No!’ Ella pulled away, turning to face him, anger flashing in her eyes. ‘You don’t ever call me that.’
‘But you are a whore, the way you give out,’ he challenged, the earlier twinkle in his eye replaced by a menacing look. ‘Every bitch who joins One Night Only is a whore.’
Ella stared at him. If only he knew the images it conjured up for her. Being held down, pushed into forcefully while the word was used over and over again.
You’re nothing but a filthy whore. A good-for-nothing stinking whore.
She was not a whore!
Her breathing accelerated; she glanced around. The sound of traffic came to her ears again. She reminded herself that anyone could happen upon them there. It still turned her on. But, aware her mood was turning black, she didn’t want to hurt him.
‘I am not a whore,’ she told him, looking down at his cock. It stood erect, if a little dejected. ‘But I am calling the shots tonight.’ She grabbed the collar of his shirt, trying to pull him close again.
‘Fuck you.’
Ella glared at him, not in the slightest worried about his turn of mood. Well aware of the darkness she could see in his eyes, she spoke again.
‘What’s wrong? Don’t you want to look at me as you come?’
Alex tried to overpower her, turn her round to face the wall, but she wouldn’t budge.
‘Do as you’re fucking told!’
‘No.’
Relishing the challenge, she tried to break free when he grabbed her. Knowing he was too strong for her to stop turned her on more. He pushed her toward the wall with such force that she barely managed to stand up. Then he bent her over again, holding onto her shoulders so she couldn’t move. But by this time she let him do as he wished. It was part of the game. She pressed back into him as he pushed hard into her, talking dirty until she came.
Afterwards, there were no words. Alex straightened out his clothes, whispered cheerio. Then he walked away and out of her life. She watched him, for a moment longer enjoying what they
had shared. Post-orgasmic, her skin flushed, heart still racing, she felt alive again. She had made him happy.
Ella rearranged her skirt and reached for a mirror from her handbag. She flipped it open, and then snapped it shut. The all-too-familiar lurch in her stomach stopped her in her tracks. Tears filled her eyes, spilling down her cheeks, and she ran a hand through her hair, bunching it into a fist and pulling sharply. Often the high from the encounters could last hours, but more recently it had been minutes before the self-loathing began to appear. How could she degrade herself like that? Let any man have her, just to satisfy a need.
Alone in the alleyway, she cried. Repulsed by herself, she knew the only thing that would make her feel better. When she felt a little steadier, again she flicked open her mirror, this time wiping her eyes before reapplying her lipstick. Then she headed out of the alleyway and up towards Piccadilly.
The night was still young. Maybe she could pick someone else up later.
Chapter Four
Moving out of the home Charley had shared with Dan was every bit as harrowing as she had expected. With each room she emptied, memories of him came flooding into her mind: Dan spending an age cooking a meal in the kitchen, only for the plates to slide off the tray and onto the floor as he brought them through to the dining room; Dan trying to negotiate the stairs with crutches when he’d torn the ligaments in his knee, giving up and bumping up and down on his bottom; Dan ripping presents open on Christmas morning like an excited child in the living room; and the bedroom…that made her heart ache the most.
Once her belongings had been removed, Charley took one final walk around the house, tears pouring down her face. But driving away – the removal van in front and her parents in their car behind – she felt at ease with herself. She couldn’t turn the clock back, nor should she hang on to the past anymore. Even though it would be hard to let go of the old life, she had to think of the new.
Arriving in Warwick Avenue had felt just as strange. As she’d opened the door to the flat, she recalled how excited she and Dan had been to get the keys to the old house twelve years before. He’d carried her over the threshold, dumping her unceremoniously on the hall carpet complaining that she was too heavy, only to then roll around the floor with her. Tears welled in her eyes. She sniffed, blinking them away quickly.
If her dad noticed her watery eyes, he didn’t say as he came through with the first of many boxes. But he did take time to smile at her. ‘You’ll be fine here, petal,’ he said. ‘Settled in no time. It’s a beautiful place.’
From her vantage point behind the curtains at her window, Ella had watched Charley go up and down the front steps for most of the day. It had been fun, stopping the monotony of the long, empty hours stretching out before her. Ella didn’t go to work – not that she would ever be capable of holding down a job, even if she did have one. Luckily she was able to manage on the money her parents had left her when they died in the accident. Besides, who would have her anyway, with her records for shoplifting and prostitution?
Once Charley was settled, she couldn’t wait to start learning about her new neighbour, finding out where she worked and where she liked to visit. It would be great to spend some time with her. They would become firm friends, she was sure. Not like Susan Reilly, her last tenant, who had moved out as quickly as she’d moved in. Three weeks and two days, to be precise. Ella was so annoyed she’d wasted time on her. It had been obvious from the beginning that she wasn’t going to be friend material.
She looked down again. Ella could see the older couple were Charley’s parents. Charley was the image of her mother, as well as having the eyes of her father. Ella often wondered if she looked like either of her parents. She’d had a good childhood – loving mum and dad, enough money for her and her younger sister to be quite spoilt. Every once in a while, she’d reminisce about her younger years. A day trip out, a photograph being taken, borrowing lots of books from the library. Mum taking her to the hairdresser’s for the first time. Out for a drive with Dad in his new car.
Sadly, Ella’s memories of them were vague now. Often she’d embellish them, trying to bring them back to life again. She wondered if they too would have helped her to move properties if they were still alive. She hoped they would have supported her like Charley’s parents were doing.
While she clocked Charley’s curves, Ella wondered why there weren’t more people helping her to move. Why wasn’t she married with a husband and a couple of kids? Or at least if the husband had left, where were the kids? On the rent agreement she’d had drawn up, Charley had put her date of birth as August 1977, which made her just thirty-six – one year older than she was. It didn’t seem right that she’d be alone all that time. She made a mental note to find out her story, and then see if she could befriend her quickly. Charley was such a beautiful woman; she deserved a friend like her.
Who are you trying to kid?
Ella covered her ears, trying to block out the voice inside her head. She’d had a quiet day; she didn’t want to go out tonight. She was tired, willing to make her own entertainment if necessary.
Are you listening to me? You’re pathetic. You think anyone would want to be your friend?
‘Leave me alone.’
You’ll always be alone, stupid. She won’t want to know you either. You’re a fool to think otherwise.
Ella shook her head, her left eye twitching a few times. Focussing on something else, anything to stop the taunts, she could see nosy Jean sitting in her window across the road. She’d been watching for most of the day too. Ella failed to see the fun in doing it all day, every day. Weren’t things the same once you’d seen them for a week or so? Humans were creatures of habits, apart from her, of course. Ella hadn’t got a set routine to learn. She did what she wanted when she wanted – or rather when Cassandra wanted. Couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be tied to one place; hoped she’d never get to the age where all she did was sit and stare into a world she was no longer part of. Even though her life was shit, she had a life.
Although she’d grown up in the city, Ella hadn’t lived in one area for longer than a few years before she’d been on the move again. Often she’d been kicked out of somewhere, literally, during her earlier days. But maybe she’d settle this time. Her life was about to get better as soon as she got to know Charley anyway. She would be her new friend and they would go out for drinks together, go shopping together, to the movies. They’d have a housewarming party for the two of them, eat pizza and ice cream until they were sick, watch chick flicks and go gooey-eyed over the gorgeous men. They’d look out for one another, cry on each other’s shoulders, borrow each other’s clothes, go –
She won’t want to do any of that with you! You’re not worth spending time with.
As her belongings had been moved in, a sense of peace came over Charley. The flat was just as she remembered it, and everything fit as planned. Six hours later, once her parents and the removal men had left her to finish off, Charley took one of the few remaining boxes through from the hallway into the living room. To the sounds of Adele singing softly, she sat down to empty it.
Inside, she searched for her most treasured possession, rummaging around until she came to a parcel covered in tissue paper. She unwrapped it carefully to reveal a six-inch glass cube, with a photo of Dan on each side. He’d bought it for her because he thought it was unusual. Little did he realise how sentimental it would become.
Charley turned it around in her hands. The first photo she came to was one they’d had taken on a city break in London. Dan had been goofing about in the Tower of London, trying to make her laugh when everyone around her was quietly admiring the Crown Jewels. The one next to it was of the two of them dressed up for a friend’s wedding. Another showed Dan on his back in the snow, his arms and legs wide, making a snow angel.
A lone tear dropped onto the glass. Charley wiped it away quickly before any more joined i
t.
Ella came away from the window when she realised there was nothing more to see.
She won’t want to know you anyway. Who would want you as a friend?
She threw herself down onto the settee and covered her head with a cushion. Why wouldn’t she leave her alone? She was always going on at her. Nag, nag, nag. Never a rest.
Useless. Useless. USELESS!
‘Leave me alone!’
You don’t deserve a friend.
Ella sat up suddenly. She was stronger than this; no one was going to stop her from getting what she wanted.
I’m going to stop you!
‘No, you’re not.’ She stood up tall and decided to go downstairs and check things out a little more. Charley was going to be her friend – and nothing at all to do with Cassandra.
When I came out of hospital, I was taken to a children’s home. It wasn’t near to where I lived before so I knew no one and felt so alone. I had to share a room with a girl called Billie; she was twelve. I was wary about Billie from the start. Don’t you just get a feeling when someone doesn’t like you? I mean, she was great when anyone else was there but when we were alone, she’d give me hell. I was the little girl who got in her way. I was the one everyone felt sorry for due to my circumstances. And Billie didn’t like it, now, did she?
Billie was a bully. She was a big girl and used to thump me. I couldn’t stand up to her. Billie told all the other kids at the home not to talk to me. No one wanted to be my friend. I was never allowed to join in. I never fitted in anywhere, for the rest of my life after that.
Kids used to come and go in the home. Some were fostered out; some were adopted. I missed my family so much and every night, I cried myself to sleep – no matter how many times Billie laid into me for making a noise. Funny how bruises become invisible, isn’t it? Or don’t people want to see them? I must have been covered in the bloody things. Surely everyone didn’t think I was a walking disaster all the time?
Watching Over You Page 3
