If I’d been looking for food, I probably would have taken the emptiness as a sign and gone elsewhere. But the lack of audience actually turned out to be a good thing. Because as soon as my butt hit a seat, my vision dimmed and I was abruptly looking out through someone else’s eyes.
***
The scene before me wasn’t a repressed memory. Surely I would have recalled facing down an irate circus performer in an effort to steal his prize possession—a half-grown wolf.
I could smell the dung of caged elephants, though, and could almost taste the sickly sweetness of cotton candy melted onto the pavement. In front of my eyes, the collared beast growled menacingly, baring his teeth in a display of solidarity with his owner.
Or rather, in solidarity with his captor. Because the one-body facing off against me kept a tight hold on the animal’s leash. And the animal wasn’t an animal after all, but a bloodling werewolf.
Hunter?
I breathed the word into our joint mind as soon as I realized where I must be—back inside the shared consciousness that I hadn’t been able to call upon for the last few weeks. Stretching those cramped mental muscles also helped me realize that our recent lack of rapport had been entirely of my own choosing. I’d pulled away from our ever-increasing intimacy and our mate bond had suffered as a result.
Perhaps my strange weakness last night came from Hunter trying to tune into that bond without my permission? The hypothesis made perfect sense. After all, I could tell I was affecting my mate’s physical body now, his vision dimming slightly before he jolted himself back into his present.
“Fen?” Hunter asked aloud. Startled, his head—my head—swiveled to look over one shoulder. And in that instant, the wolf lunged.
Quicker than I would have imagined possible, Hunter had shrugged out of his sports coat, bunching the fabric around one forearm. So when the wolf’s teeth closed around his limb, it met cloth rather than flesh.
Still, the pain from the vise-like jaw clenching shut around his forearm was excruciating. And the danger was far from over since the animal’s eyes nearly glowed with rage and with a hint of madness. This rogue bloodling was even more messed up than the one I currently hunted in a one-body classroom, and he wasn’t planning to release his grip anytime soon.
I’m making things worse here. I should go. I thought the words as if speaking them, and this time Hunter seemed to fully understand that I’d taken up residence behind his eyes. Because he pushed the pain in his arm aside and let his mouth curl up into a smile.
You never make things worse. I’ve missed you.
The words were simple, but I could feel the depth of my mate’s emotions as I drifted inside his brain. And I couldn’t resist taking a moment to revel in his solid presence in the process. It seemed like much more than thirty-six hours since Hunter’s skin had warmed my own and I ached to be held in his arms once again.
For an instant, in fact, I almost let the L word slip out of my own lips. Why not relax into the simplicity of our shared bond without bothering to build walls back between us? After all, Hunter and I were clearly linked already, whether or not I was willing to admit that fact.
But I had a bone to pick with my mate before we got all mushy. I’ve missed you too, you big lout. But disappearing on me? Foisting me off on your secretary? What’s up with that? I get where you’re coming from. You felt like I needed to mend fences with my mother—and you were right about that, by the way.
I could almost taste the uber-alpha’s smug reaction to my admission, but I steamrollered right on through before he could come up with an “I told you so.”
So you were right about that one thing. But you went about it in exactly the wrong way. If we really are mates, then you don’t get to decide what’s right for me and then push me off a cliff to make sure I fall in the right direction. We face the world together as equal partners or we don’t face the world together at all. Do you understand?
Okay. Hunter wasn’t verbose at the best of times, but I’d hoped for a little more from him than a simple “okay.”
Okay? Does that mean no more unilateral decisions from you? No more “I know what’s best so you’ll do as I say”?
Before my mate could answer, we were both yanked back to the present—well, to Hunter’s present—by the circus trainer tugging on the rogue bloodling’s leash. “Shit!” the one-body exclaimed. “Down, Butch! You’re going to get me sued and you put to sleep.”
Just a sec, Hunter whispered toward me, as if he were a busy CEO placing his girlfriend on hold while he sorted out some executive snafu. Then, to the one-body: “This isn’t the first time he’s bitten a customer, is it? And it definitely won’t be the last.” My mate spoke calmly, as if the wolf’s saliva wasn’t soaking down through his sports coat to lie clammy against his aching skin. “You can’t control him any longer. But I can.”
The one-body possessed a third of Hunter’s bulk, but he still puffed himself up as if he were a shifter preparing to go into battle against a lesser opponent. “No. You threatened him, so of course he bit you. It won’t hold up in a court of law.”
“I’m not going to harm him.” Hunter’s whole body pulsated with the power of the alpha compulsion he exuded. Before us, Butch whimpered and relaxed his jaws before dropping to the ground in a submissive crouch. “How much?”
I expected the one-body’s eyes to light up greedily as Hunter pulled out an overstuffed wallet. Look who went to the bank to bait his trap properly. But, instead, the circus performer didn’t back down. “What’re you planning on using him for?”
“I’m not going to use him for anything,” Hunter said softly, crouching down so he could scratch behind the confused bloodling’s ears. Butch cowered away from the advancing hand at first, then leaned into the touch. “I’m going to give him the life he deserves, a sanctuary.”
The one-body wavered, but it was clear to all of us that he would eventually make the right decision. Which gave me and Hunter the leisure to return to our interrupted conversation.
Yes, you’re right. My mate’s deep rumble surrounded me as if we really were lying side by side on a rumpled bed rather than separated by who-knew-how-many miles. I was pissed off so I screwed up. I’ll try not to screw up again. And I might even manage that if you’ll stop pushing me away.
Abruptly, I remembered that passion-filled day when Hunter and I had first declared our feelings for each other. The woodland episode had occurred only four weeks in the past, but the distance between now and then felt like an eternity. “If you let me in, I’ll stay there,” Hunter had promised as he cradled me against his solid chest.
If I was being honest, I’d have to admit that the uber-alpha had never broken his word. Instead, I’d been the one pushing him away. Not out of my bed, but out of my heart. I’d worried that my mate would abandon me, so I’d emotionally abandoned him first.
It just felt safer to run away than to give Hunter yet more power over me than he already had.
But the time for safety had come and gone. Being separated from my mate for two long days had proven that the potential for heartbreak later was dramatically outweighed by the exquisite agony of losing him in the current moment. So I agreed.
It’s going to take me a while to get there, I told him honestly. I felt stripped bare by the admission, far more exposed than if I’d simply been walking naked through the busy circus I could hear in my mate’s background. It was so much easier to act tough and deal with life alone than it was to expose my soft underbelly to the dangers of the world.
But the safe path wasn’t nearly as satisfying. It was pretty lonely too. So, I added: I’ll do my best. Just so long as you come back to me. Soon.
Bodiless, I still managed to hold my breath. I’d never called upon my father for assistance after he left me because I didn’t think he’d answer. But, with this uber-alpha who I’d barely known for half a summer, I felt willing to offer my unguarded heart up for his perusal.
And my courage was rewa
rded. I’ll always come back to you, Hunter murmured. I love you and you’re my mate. I’ll be there Monday if not before.
Chapter 15
Before I could reply in kind, I was pulled back into my own life with a jolt. My thumb throbbed with a sudden burst of pain and a droplet of blood welled up from a tiny wound on the tip.
Blinking away the remnants of the circus scenery, it took me a moment to notice that Robert had slid into the booth across from me while I’d been lost in another world. Now the one-body was pulling his own hands back to the other side of the table, his furrowed brow and concerned eyes clearly meant to suggest that he’d merely been trying to shake me out of my trance by reaching toward me. To that end, the one-body backed up the illusion with a muttered explanation: “Darn cufflinks.”
But no part of my companion’s apparel appeared sharp enough to have pierced my skin. And my wolf noted a smug curl to Robert’s lips that promised the pinprick had been intentional. No, this drop of blood on my thumb was anything but innocuous.
Fool me once....
One month ago, I’d trusted unwisely and been drugged and kidnapped as a result. Worse, I’d dragged innocents down along with me. No way did I plan to make that same mistake again, not when an untrustworthy stranger had just pricked my thumb while I was looking in the other direction.
Adrenaline flooded my body even as I yanked my favorite knife out of its boot sheathe. Exit strategies? I pondered.
My mind was racing too quickly to think in complete sentences. Instead, car, locks, highway whizzed through my brain.
I didn’t know how much time I had before the wooziness would set in, but there were no other viable alternatives beyond flight. Hunter was too distant to come to my aid, I’d relinquished my pack, and I certainly wasn’t calling in the human police.
So I pushed out of the booth in one inelegant motion, overturning my cup of ice water onto the human’s lap in the process. “Stay away from my mother,” my wolf growled between human lips, wasting half a second to stare down the opponent who had shown his hand at last.
Then we were running. Out the front door, across the parking lot, toward the rental car.
It was hard to sprint and disentangle a key from my pants pocket at the same time. I swore as the fob fell to the pavement, bruised one knee as I dove to scoop it back up. I almost dropped the knife, but managed to keep its hilt clenched in one sweaty fist.
I could barely breathe by the time I reached the vehicle. Was that the drug kicking in or just the aftereffects of overexertion? I neither knew nor cared. Just screeched out of the parking lot as if the devil was on my heels.
But he wasn’t. As I turned left onto the main road, I caught a glimpse of Robert staring after me from the open doorway of the pizza parlor. The one-body was leaning against the door jamb, as relaxed and confident as if he already had what he wanted and was willing to let me escape...for the time being.
I’ll have to ditch the rental. Get Celia out of town for a few days while I figure out what the one-body wants.
As I blew through stoplights without catching sight of any obvious tail, my pounding heartbeat slowed and I took stock of my body at last. I was shaky from adrenaline and my knee throbbed. But otherwise I felt normal. Clear-headed, alert, undrugged.
But if I hadn’t been injected with any noxious substances, then what had Robert wanted from me? And why was there a maroon circle of clotted blood on the tip of my right thumb?
***
I drove aimlessly for half an hour before I calmed down enough to go home. Because I’d promised my mother that she could show and tell as much as she wanted tonight as long as she acceded to my overprotectiveness during the preceding power outage. Celia had given in despite her better judgment this morning and I wasn’t inclined to go back on my word now.
Okay, so yes, I was inclined. But I was still going to do the honorable thing and take my lumps like a wolf. Just as soon as I sucked down a huge chocolate milkshake to make up for that missed pizza, and once the last shivers finished working their way out of my tensed muscles.
Still, while I fully expected to be blindsided as soon as I pulled into Celia’s driveway, I didn’t expect it to happen in precisely this manner.
“Ginger?”
I would have recognized the redhead anywhere. After all, she’d been as close to me as a pack mate could get until a few short weeks in the past.
Now the young woman was seated on the hood of a black SUV that I thought for a moment was Robert’s Escalade. But no. This one was a little smaller, a little less shiny.
And full to the brim with members of my ex-pack.
The first to approach was my steadfast second. Glen unfolded his long legs from the driver’s seat, strode across the gravel, and lifted me off my feet with a tremendous bear hug. The male was like the brother I’d never had, and I didn’t realize how much I’d missed his stable presence until he was beside me once again. So I squeezed Glen back as hard as I could to make sure he was real, keeping my eyes wide open despite the resultant dizziness as he twirled me around in a joyful werewolf reunion.
When my second finally released me to stand under my own steam, Cinnamon moved in to rub his furry head up against my left leg. The wolf’s reddish fur hinted of shared genetics with his two-legged twin, the latter of which had also hopped down to join the fray.
And now Ginger was impatiently tugging me away from her brother so she could enfold me in an embrace of her own...one that I was relieved to discover was entirely platonic.
“I’m over you,” the trouble twin whispered in my ear. Then, a little louder: “There’s a new woman in my life. Amelia is twice as adorable and ten times as tough and I think I’m in loo-ove.” Despite the teasing lilt Ginger gave to the final word, I received the distinct impression that she was 100% in earnest.
“Amelia is also entirely human,” Lia teased, pushing her way into our little huddle. “And you haven’t told the poor human your deep, dark secret. So maybe you’d better not send out those wedding invitations quite yet, huh cuz?”
Lia was just as beloved as the rest of the crew, but I found myself cringing back from this final shifter’s approach despite my best efforts to the contrary. Because if I was being honest with myself, I’d have to admit that Lia was the reason I’d spent the last month packless and alone.
Okay, so sure, my loner status was technically Hunter’s fault since he’d been the one to banish me from my ex-pack’s home territory a couple of months prior. But the quartet and I could have met in the middle. Or at least stayed in touch by phone and email. Anything was better than the aching emptiness that roiled through my gut whenever I thought about the young adults who had been my stalwart partners in life, play, and battle earlier that summer.
Lia was my companion at arms and I failed her.
That was the root of my problem right there. The youngest member of my ex-pack was one of the innocents who had been harmed as a result of my ineptness the month before. And my guilt colored every memory I had of the teenager who stood before me now.
Even before being kidnapped and nearly sacrificed on a crazy shifter’s altar due to my misplaced faith, Ginger’s cousin had been timid and shy. Which was my excuse for returning Lia to the safety of Haven after her near-death experience. If anyone could put the girl back together again, I’d hoped my former alpha would be up to the task.
Yes, I’d returned Lia to Wolfie because I hoped he would help her...and because I was afraid of further breaking what had already shattered beneath my touch. Perhaps that was why the girlish face that floated up into my dreams far more frequently than I liked to admit was terrified and angry by turns rather than open and cheerful as Lia had actually been during our time together. I’d been certain that my failure to protect the sixteen-year-old had scarred her for life, if not externally then at least deep within her psyche.
“Not quite what you were expecting, am I?” the girl asked now. She turned in a slow circle, her posture relaxed, erect
, and strong as she gave me time to soak up the unexpected changes.
And she was different. Unlike the kid who had gamely followed her cousin into a bar only to require rescuing by stronger shifters half an hour later, this young woman exuded poise and confidence from every pore.
In fact, my lapse seemed to have been her gain. Lia was an inch taller than when I’d seen her last, but her real growth spurt had come from within. And after watching the kid banter with her charismatic cousin then meet my eyes with newfound maturity, I had to admit that my mistakes hadn’t managed to squash the spark of joy in the youngster’s eyes after all.
Before I could dig into the amazing transformation any further, though, the teenager gestured with her chin, turning my attention around toward Celia’s front porch. “I’m packed and ready to go,” the house’s owner greeted us as she turned away from a newly locked front door.
I cringed, expecting an exclamation of horror to emerge from my mother’s lips as she took in the four additional shifters arrayed across her front lawn. Three appeared human, but Cinnamon was still resolutely sticking to fur form. And surely even one-body senses could pick up the calm power radiating off Glen, the animal magnetism of Ginger, and the new star that was Lia’s maturing wolf?
To my surprise, Celia didn’t seem cowed by my guests. In fact, if the rolling suitcase thumping its way down the steps in her wake was any indication, my mother was planning on taking these shifters away on an overnight adventure.
“Going somewhere?” I asked.
“You said the weekend was mine,” the one-body answered, her words cocky. But I noticed a hint of hesitation before she managed to meet my eyes. “So I called up your...um...your alpha. And he said I could borrow Glen, Ginger, Lia, and Cinnamon for a couple of nights. We’re off on an adventure.”
“Ice skating in a fun house!” Cinnamon exclaimed with his usual joie de vivre. In what he probably considered a show of chivalry, the male trouble twin had shifted to human form as soon as Celia joined our little group.
Lone Wolf Dawn (Alpha Underground Book 2) Page 10
