“Dakota?” The sound of his mellow voice melted my knees and liquefied my bones. He knocked again.
“Um, just a minute,” I called in my most pleasant voice then spun in a panicked circle. I ran my fingers through my hair. A glance in the mirror by the door showed a face devoid of makeup and the horrifying red zit between my brows. Sam knocked again. I grabbed a toboggan from the coat rack and crammed it on my head, pulling it low over my forehead to cover the offending pimple, then sniffed my armpits. At least I’d showered before bed and smelled clean.
“Dakota? I don’t have all day,” Sam said.
I opened the door. He jumped, one fist poised in the air, about to knock once more. His gaze travelled over me. I was wearing an old T-shirt and tiny shorts of mismatched colors beneath my coat. One eyebrow lifted as his focus returned to my face and the hat on my head.
“Am I interrupting something?” he asked.
“No. I was still in bed.” Blood thundered so loudly in my veins, I could barely hear. The sight of him standing in my apartment unfurled a bevy of butterflies in my tummy. He was wearing a charcoal suit. His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned at the collar. The tail of his necktie dangled from his breast pocket. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
I stepped back in equal measures of trepidation and excitement. I realized too late there were piles of dirty clothes on the sofa, empty pizza boxes and candy bar wrappers littering the counters and coffee table. I wrapped my arms around my waist, pulling the coat tighter, and tried to look casual while every nerve in my body danced. “Did you need something?”
“I just wanted to talk to you for a minute.” He shoved a hand through his hair and frowned. “Did you have a party here or something?”
“No. I’ve just been busy and things.” I spied a pair of panties on the end table and stuffed them into my pocket. “What did you want to talk about?”
Suddenly the air between us shifted. The scent of his cologne drifted over to me. I drew in a heady lungful. I leaned toward him, drawn to him, the way I’d always been. With his tousled hair and his hands in his pockets, he looked like the Sam I’d married. It took all of my control to keep from launching myself into his arms. A dull ache spread through my chest, knowing I’d never have him again.
“Look,” he said. “I might’ve been a bit hasty in accepting your resignation.” My mouth fell open in shock. He raised a hand. “The MacGruder deal isn’t done yet, and I’d feel a lot better if you were around to help me close the deal.”
“You want me back?” I asked, unable to believe his words. “Are you sure?”
He shrugged and blinked away. The muscles in his throat worked when he swallowed. When he looked back to me, his eyes were vibrant and alive. My pulse accelerated, and a rush of need poured through me.
“You can come back as a consultant,” he said. “Same salary. Just until the deal’s done.”
My toes curled with the urge to do a happy dance. I smoothed my hands over my coat and tried to be cool. “I don’t know. I’m pretty busy these days,” I said, sweeping an arm around the apartment.
“Why are you wearing a winter coat and hat?” he asked suddenly. “It’s eighty degrees outside.” One corner of his lips twitched. I smiled, a wave of shyness bringing heat into my cheeks. He shook his head. “Get dressed. I’ll send Rockwell back to get you in an hour.”
CHAPTER 36
Dakota - Now
AFTER A HASTY shower, I tried on a dozen outfits before finally choosing a tailored black suit. The short skirt and jacket suggested sophistication with a bit of sass. I pinned my hair into a twist at the nape of my neck, letting the ends trail in spirals over one shoulder, and arranged the bangs to cover the ugly zit. In the elevator, I tapped a quick text to my mother about the unexpected turn in events, and she responded with, Go get ‘em, girl. Rockwell met me at the curb next to a new car, a sleek white limousine. He smiled and nodded as he opened the door for me.
“Good morning, miss,” he said.
“Hi, Rockwell.” I cast a warm smile in his direction. “My mom said to tell you hello.”
“I trust she’s well?”
“Yes.” The smile slipped from my face when I spied a long leg clad in black trousers inside the car. My gaze travelled up the leg and found it attached to Sam. One of his big hands curled around his cellphone. He glanced up as I slid into the car and gave me a tentative smile.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hi.” The greeting came out squeaky and girlish. I swallowed and tried to appear calm, despite the spike of adrenalin running through me at the sight of him. “I didn’t expect to see you.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You were expecting someone else?” He tucked the phone into the inside pocket of his jacket and ran his gaze over me. I warmed under his perusal. By the gleam in his eyes, he approved of the dress.
“No, I just thought you were busy.”
Rockwell shut the door behind me, enveloping us in a private cocoon of automotive splendor. The car pulled smoothly away from the apartment complex. Outside the tinted windows, the sunlight of the city sparkled over the building windows like gemstones. Sam leaned forward and handed me a bottle of my favorite flavored sparkling water. The tips of his fingers brushed my knuckles. Heat and desire mingled in our touch.
“I don’t understand.” I took a sip of the water, parched. It tickled over my tongue in a dance of bubbles and sweetness. “Aren’t we going back to the office?”
“Yes. To my office.” He lifted his water bottle and took a drink. When he swallowed, the motion of his throat muscles mesmerized me. The way his tongue swept over his lower lip. The drift of his gaze over my face, along the curves of my breasts, the stretch of my legs, and back to my mouth. A sweet pang of desire buzzed through me.
“What’s Dahlia going to say about this?” I asked, peering at him over the top of my water.
He shrugged. “It’s none of her business.”
“Are you two an item?” I asked.
“We were never an item,” he replied. His gaze lingered on my lips, the same way it had the very first time he’d taken me home in his limo after school.
“It’s bad form to sleep with your employees,” I chastised.
He spread his knees wider until one of them grazed my leg. His hands rested on top of his thighs while his eyes continued to watch me with unnerving intensity. I took another sip of water, hoping to calm my nerves.
“I never sleep with my employees, although I have fucked a few.” When he shifted in the seat, the delicious friction of his pant leg against my knee sent a shockwave of desire along my limbs.
“Do you still want to fuck me?” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his. They glowed in the ambient light of the car’s interior, like green molten lava.
“I never stopped,” he said. The quiet husk of his voice elicited dampness between my legs. I licked my lips. One of his hands left his leg to finger the hem of my skirt. A frisson of excitement blossomed in my belly and migrated south to my core. “This looks good on you.”
I’d worn sheer black stockings held up by a red garter belt to match my red panties and bra. I uncrossed my legs, feeling the slide and glide of silk against my skin. His fingers brushed over my knee as I turned toward him.
“Do you hate me?” My breath hitched as his hand travelled beneath the dress, climbing higher along the inside of my thigh, and came to a stop at the lace trim of my panties.
“Never.” One of his fingers traced the edge. I opened my legs to allow his hand access. His gaze remained locked with mine. The span of his chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh.
“I thought I wasn’t worth it,” I whispered on a ragged exhale.
He dragged a finger along my folds, testing the wetness. Need began to coil tightly inside me. “I only said it to break you.” His voice rumbled in his chest, deep and rasping. My gaze flew to his, finding his eyes fiery and darkening by the second. “I didn’t realize you we
re already broken.”
He leaned forward, gliding his other hand up my leg to curl around my hip. He pulled me to his lap, arranging my knees alongside the outside of his thighs. Each of his movements was slow, measured and deliberate. As if he might spook me by moving too fast. As if it took all of his control to keep from throwing me to the seat and pounding the hell out of me.
I looked into his eyes, needing reassurance, and found a cautious vulnerability that squeezed my heart. Deep inside this beautiful, angry man resided the boy I’d loved. The boy I’d hurt. The love of my life. The need to heal his wounds, to repair the damage I’d done, swept through me like an updraft of spring wind. I smoothed a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face, and leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. He made a strangled noise deep in his chest and closed his eyes, shutting me out. When they opened again, the pain and longing inside them ripped me open.
All at once, his control snapped. He fisted a hand in my hair and yanked my mouth to his. His tongue swept along mine, ravishing me from the inside out. I moaned and dug my fingers into his scalp. He jerked the hairpins from my updo, and the unruly locks tumbled over my shoulders. His grip on my hair tightened to the point of pain. He pulled my head back, exposing my neck like a vampire seeking blood. When his lips touched the tender flesh beneath my chin, they burned my skin with their heat.
He lifted his head, eyes blazing, and stared me down. Any illusions I’d had about my sweet college boy vanished. Samuel was a man, and I had a feeling he was about to show me how much of a man he’d become. He continued to pull my head back. The flare of his nostrils as he took in my scent filled me with primal fear and longing.
“Never again,” he rasped, in a voice so layered with emotion, it tore at my reserve. “You will never fuck me over again. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whispered through the thickness of my throat. It was only one word, but it held a million different meanings for me. Yes, I loved him. Yes, I needed him. And yes, I understood better than he could ever know.
“Say it,” he growled.
“Never again.” I slipped my hand between us and palmed the hardness behind his zipper. My chest ached with longing and filled with his pain.
His fingers twisted in the delicate side-straps of my panties and with one hard jerk, tore them off. I ground against his erection then leaned back to undo the fly of his pants. He drew a condom from his pocket and once it was on, returned his lips to mine.
We kissed, long and hard, until my lips ached. He gripped my hips and thrust into me. I cried out, overwhelmed by the sweet familiarity of having him inside me. His big hands held me down while he impaled me. Our ragged respirations filled the quiet interior of the car and fogged the windows. He raged against me, jerking his hips upward with rapid, deep grunts. I let him take his revenge on my body while I worshipped him with lips and hands. I gave him everything I had, letting him drain me of the last vestiges of denial. I still loved him. I had always loved him and always would.
“Sam,” I whispered into his neck, almost in tears. “My Sam.”
“Your Sam,” he said while his fingers made quick work of the buttons on my blouse.
With those words, I broke into a thousand pieces. I peppered kisses over his forehead, his nose, his eyelids, and his cheeks. His hands gripped my ass, rocking me into him. I leaned back, and his mouth found my breast. The sting of his teeth brought my nipple to a tight peak. A startled squeak hissed out of me. The shift in position put his cock in the secret spot inside me, the one where furious pleasure blended with sweet pain.
His hand found my throat. He stroked the column of my neck, murmuring nonsense, his lips burning my skin. I’d never wanted to please a man so much. I ran my hands over every inch of him, desperate to wipe away the pain of our separation, the bitterness of our divorce, and the sting of my betrayal. If only I could make him see how much I cared.
I cupped his face between my palms and stared into his eyes, willing him to understand. Our past flashed between us, building a bridge where none had existed. I saw his sweet smile the first time he’d kissed me, the glow in his eyes when he’d married me, and the heat of his passion on our wedding night. It was all still there, buried deep, but existent. I lifted and sank down on him, unable to control the wild swivel of my hips.
He came hard, face buried in the curve of my neck, his hands on my ass and his chest heaving. I followed a heartbeat later, my walls clutching and spasming around him, the sting of tears in my eyes, just as the car made the final turn to his office. With surprising presence of mind, he disentangled a hand from my ass and pressed the intercom to speak with Rockwell.
“Take us around the block once, would you?” he asked, his voice broken and shaking.
“Certainly,” Rockwell replied, his voice disembodied through the speaker.
A sudden flood of uncertainty tightened my chest. What was I doing? Screwing my ex-husband, let alone my current boss, wasn’t the brightest thing I’d ever done in life, and I’d done lots of stupid things.
Sam placed a finger beneath my chin and lifted my face to meet his gaze. Calm reassurance stared back at me. “Don’t get all freaked out on me,” he said. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re working up to a meltdown, and I need you focused.”
Seriously? The man had just fucked me senseless, and he expected me to focus? He was still inside me. The connection of our bodies superseded my panic, and I forced myself to relax.
“Right.” I disentangled from him and returned to my seat. He disposed of the condom and adjusted his clothing, while I tried to reclaim some semblance of normalcy. My hair, frazzled by his fingers, seemed beyond repair. I did the best I could to capture the unruly locks with the few hairpins I could find.
Sam watched me, expressionless, the picture of unconcern. Ten minutes earlier, he’d been trembling and passionate. His sudden apathy infuriated me. How could he make love to me then sit there, unmoving as granite, as if it didn’t matter? My temper swelled until the blood pounded in my temples.
“So is this how it’s going to be?” I asked. “Hot and cold? You fuck me and then you hate me? You fire me and then you hire me back?”
He stared out the window, a muscle ticking in his jaw. It wasn’t until Rockwell pulled in front of the building that he spoke. “I’m so goddam furious with you,” he said at last, his voice a rough growl. “You should’ve come to me.”
“I’m sorry?” I lifted an eyebrow, certain he’d gone off the deep end. The emotional rollercoaster ride of the past month had left me too exhausted to fight with him.
“All those years ago. When he blackmailed you. You should’ve told me.” He turned the full force of his enigmatic eyes on me. The drilled into me with uncanny precision, hitting all the tender places inside me. “I would’ve protected you, Kota. We would’ve worked it out.”
His use of my nickname scraped away the last of my defenses. I dropped my chin and stared at my hands in my lap, clenching and unclenching my fingers. “He had it all on video. Crockett stealing your stuff. Jewelry, prescriptions, money. It was over two hundred thousand dollars in total. He would’ve gone to prison for a very long time. He was only fourteen, Sam. Just a kid. And he said he’d fire my mother. I knew she wasn’t well. She needed surgery. Thousands of dollars worth.”
“Where is Crockett now?” Sam’s voice whispered across the car, soft but edged with steel.
“He’s in jail. I told him I won’t bail him out of this one. He just keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. I keep making the same mistakes. We’re alike in that way.” I lifted my gaze to his and watched him through a blur of tears. “I only took the money to keep Crockett out of jail. To help my mom. He said you weren’t happy with me, that you’d never be happy, and I believed him. I never wanted to hurt you. I loved you, Sam.”
He curled his fingers around mine and lifted my hand to his lips to place a kiss on the back. We sat there for a very long time, staring
at each other, remembering and regretting.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said and let go of my hand. He opened the car door, and I followed him out. Disenchantment weighted my body. I knew the time had come for me to pay the final installment price. The devil was going to collect his due. I choked back the tears and steeled myself to accept whatever fate threw at me.
Rockwell tipped his hat at me. I gave him a brittle smile before looking up at Sam. He looked as unmovable as a marble statue with his square jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed.
“I can’t do this anymore either.” I clutched my purse and stared at him, wondering how we’d ever manage to get through the rest of the day together, let alone through the MacGruder deal. “Maybe it’s better if we stopped torturing each other”
He passed a hand over his face and let out a groan of pure frustration. “Am I so bad at communicating?” he asked. “I meant I can’t keep trying to hate you when I don’t.” A deep sigh deflated his chest. “Look. I’m not making any promises, but I’m willing to try this again if you are.”
A wave of hope buoyed my weary soul. I dared to glance at his face and found nothing but sincerity in his expression. “I’d like that. But how can you ever trust me?”
“I don’t know if I can.” He shrugged, but some of the old light brightened his gaze. The corner of his mouth lifted in one of those rare smiles I’d come to cherish. He straightened the collar of his suit and tugged down the cuffs of his shirt. “We’ll just have to see, I guess.” With a touch soft as a whisper, he stroked the backs of his fingers along my jaw. “Okay with you, sweet pea?”
“Okay,” I said. A brand-new kind of excitement tingled from my jaw down to my toes. I squinted up at him, his blond hair shining like a halo in the sunlight, eyes blazing down at me. Opportunity swirled around us. I pressed a hand to my stomach, awed by the way life could change in a heartbeat. Yesterday, I’d been drowning in defeat. Today, my future blossomed with possibilities.
Pretty Broken Girl Page 18
