Kyle wheeled to face Richard. “How could you sit beside me that night at the Pemberton and not say a word about this? Christ, Richard! You came to our wedding. You ate at my own damned table! How could you do that?”
“The same way you could sit beside me night after night pretending to be my friend, while knowing you were sleeping with Catherine.”
“That was a different situation, and you know it!”
“How?”
Amelia wanted Kyle to explain the difference as well, but he just glared at Richard. “You’re the man Tom begged me to keep away from his daughter. You were at Tom’s mill the night of the storm, weren’t you? You’d gone there to force Tom to make another payment, then you came to the Pemberton Inn.” Kyle snorted and shook his head. “No wonder Tom was so upset when I asked for my money.”
“You’re damned right I made him pay. And I would have foreclosed on his mill if you hadn’t bought it.”
“Why?” Kyle shook his head. “For God’s sake, you were destroying that man.”
“What did he do to us?” Richard gestured to Catherine. “My father was still dead. His money was tied up in the business he shared with his brothers and they controlled his money. If I would have left Catherine’s welfare up to my closefisted uncles, she would have starved. I needed money to finish school.”
“Then why didn’t you?” Kyle asked. “Why didn’t you graduate and become a lawyer?”
“Because I hated it. I hated school and I hated law.”
“So the money you extorted from Tom was wasted.”
“I built a great business with that money.”
“You call swindling money from people a great business?”
“I never cheated our clients. My business was as successful as yours is, Kyle.”
Kyle shook his head. “What the hell happened to you? All this time you’ve let me believe you were my friend, that you were a big-shot lawyer from Philadelphia when you were nothing but a scheming, blackmailing gambler.”
“How dare you judge me!”
“Stop! This is all my fault.” Amelia backed toward the door, unable to listen any longer to the pain and suffering she’d caused in so many lives. “I made a bad decision that caused this whole mess.”
“No you didn’t.” Catherine’s voice was quiet but filled with conviction. “It started when I married Alfred instead of Richard.”
Amelia froze. Duke’s eyebrows lifted, but Kyle seemed to stop breathing.
“Catherine, don’t.” Richard caught her arm, but she yanked away and turned back to Amelia and Kyle.
“I was in love with a man named Simon,” she said, stepping away from Richard. “We were going to marry after the war ended, but Simon never came home. I felt I was becoming a financial burden to my father, so I married Alfred believing he would take care of me. Richard came home from his first year at college to find his father and I married. Richard was furious, but I didn’t realize it was because he cared for me.”
Amelia had thought she couldn’t feel worse, but Catherine’s words cut straight through her. Richard had wanted Catherine the entire time he’d been seducing Amelia. Everything he’d ever told Amelia had been a lie. He’d used her. And he’d tried to do it again.
She looked at Catherine and wanted to hate the woman, but it was only heartache and sadness that filled Amelia’s chest. They had both been used. Amelia could understand why both Richard and Kyle were attracted to Catherine’s beauty and warmth. And she knew firsthand how easy it was to be drawn to both Richard and Kyle.
Catherine’s expression filled with compassion. “I had no idea Richard was blackmailing your father. I thought he was a successful lawyer who could afford to support me.” She cast a scathing glance at Richard. “I didn’t know he was a liar and a cheat.”
Richard caught Catherine’s arms and turned her to face him. “For five years, everything I’ve worked for has been with your comfort and happiness in mind. All I’ve ever wanted is to be with you.”
“How naive do you think I am, Richard? Five years ago you were courting Amelia.”
“What else was I supposed to do?” Richard asked, his hands gripping Catherine’s shoulders. “I came home to tell you that I loved you and you were sharing my father’s bed! I spent the summer with Amelia so I would stay away from you. Amelia meant nothing to me.”
“You insensitive bastard!” Kyle grabbed Richard by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. “You have no idea the pain you’ve caused Amelia. She gave you her goddamned heart and you used her.”
“Well, what did you do to Catherine? Where’s the difference?”
“I cared about her, Richard. That’s the damned difference.”
Richard snorted and Catherine faced him. “Kyle asked me to marry hi, Richard. I said no.”
Everything inside Amelia collapsed and fell, all her hopes, her dreams, her belief in Kyle. He’d told her their affair had been casual. Now he’d admitted that he’d cared about Catherine enough to marry her. He’d wanted to marry Evelyn because he’d loved her. He’d had to marry Amelia.
Richard yanked Kyle around to face a gilt-edged mirror that ran from floor to ceiling. “Different faces, Kyle. Same man.”
“Not even close, Richard. I haven’t lied and blackmailed my way through life.”
“No, you’ve just plowed over anyone who got in your way. You took advantage of Catherine and pretended she didn’t mind being your whore.”
Kyle slammed his fist into Richard’s jaw. Duke leapt forward to pull them apart, but Amelia fled outside, unwilling to listen any longer, unable to be in the same room with her husband and his lover, or witness the destruction she’d caused in so many lives.
After Duke yanked Kyle off Richard, the two men stood with chests heaving, glaring at each other. “Don’t you have any remorse, Richard? Didn’t it bother you even a little that you were blackmailing a good man into an early death?”
“Don’t you dare judge me.” Richard shoved his hair out his eyes. “Everything has always come easy for you, Kyle. Ever since we were boys you’ve led the way. Just once, I wanted to be better at something than you, so I went to law school to try to do that.” Richard backhanded the blood from his lip. “I hated it. I couldn’t make grade my first year, and after my father died, there seemed little point in trying. I couldn’t come back here and admit I’d failed, so I worked the dock while I tried to figure out what to do.” He sighed and looked at Duke. “That’s where I met Sam. We became friends and gambled at night with each other and some of the other dock hands. After a while, we had so many men sitting in that Sam and I had full pockets on a regular basis. That’s when I realized how much money we could make in a gaming business.”
“Then why did you keep blackmailing Tom?” Kyle asked, his anger cooling to slowly be replaced by pity and disgust.
“I didn’t know how long the money from our gambling ring would last. And I had some debts to pay off before I could even think about the crazy idea I had.” Richard straightened his shirt and reached for the wine glass he’d set aside when Kyle and Duke had arrived. He downed the rest of the burgundy liquid, but kept the glass in his shaking fingers. “I wanted to own my own ship.” He met Kyle’s eyes, his expression defensive, as if expecting Kyle to laugh at him, but Kyle didn’t laugh. He could understand the allure of owning a trading vessel. “I fell in love with the schooners while working for the shipping company,” Richard said, “but I needed a ton of money to even own a partnership in a ship. My earnings and gambling take were nowhere near enough. I was saving the money, but I used it when I opened the gaming hall with Sam.”
“Then you blackmailed Tom because you hated him?”
Richard shook his head. “I envied him as much as I envied you. You were both so successful. You owned your own businesses and could do anything you wanted to do with your lives.”
Kyle snorted. “No, we couldn’t, Richard. Tom and I had other people depending on us. We had to take care of our
crews, our families, and the people who needed our lumber. We were never free. We were as chained to responsibility as you were.”
Richard set his glass on the wine cart, then met Kyle’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” He sighed, his eyes filled with torment as he shifted his gaze between all them. “I’m truly sorry for everything.”
“I don’t want your apology, Richard. I want you to pay Victoria and Amelia every penny you’ve stolen from Tom.”
Richard nodded and his shoulders sagged. “I swear it.” He turned to Catherine. “I’m sorry I insulted you. I’ll take a room at the Inn until we settle this.”
“No.” She shook her head. “That will just start unnecessary gossip. This is your home, too, Richard, and you can live here without my permission. But if you want my respect then you’ll have to earn it by repairing the damage you’ve caused.”
“You can start by apologizing to my wife,” Kyle said, then made his own apology to Catherine and fled a house filled with too many secrets and memories.
o0o
Amelia rushed to the lumberyard to get her father’s jacket, but to her surprise, Jeb and her mother were sitting outside the bunkhouse talking.
Unable to greet them through her tears, Amelia hurried into the office and swept the jacket off the file cabinet, desperate for the comfort of her father’s arms, but settling for an armful of fabric with the faded smell of soap and hair tonic and all the wonderful scents of the outdoors she’d always associated with her father.
Seconds later, her mother and Jeb entered the office with stricken expressions. “What’s happened?” her mother asked, rushing to the desk where Amelia sat sobbing.
“I just wanted to make Papa proud, Mama, but I’ve let him down.” Between her tears, Amelia confessed everything: her lost virginity, her father’s blackmail, and Kyle’s affair with Catherine. She talked about her father’s collapse and how she’d blamed Kyle when it was really Richard who had upset her father so badly. Finally, Amelia buried her face in her hands and confessed that she loved Kyle so much it was tearing her in half, but she could never go back to him because she’d forced him to marry her when he cared for another woman.
Jeb quietly stepped outside, but her mother sat on the edge of the desk and stroked Amelia’s back as if she were still a little girl. “If Kyle wanted Catherine, he would have married her,” she said.
“He asked her, Mama! Catherine declined.”
“Then she didn’t love him. Honey, we all have a past. Kyle and Catherine were probably friends because they didn’t have any reason not to be.”
“They were far more than friends.”
“Well, as long as it’s in their past it shouldn’t threaten your marriage to Kyle.” Her mother tipped her head to look into Amelia’s wet face. “How do you think Kyle is feeling right now after learning about Richard?”
The quietly spoken question caught Amelia off guard and she sat back in the chair. Kyle’s heart probably felt as raw as hers did. He’d lost his best friend. He was surely feeling betrayed and hurt that Richard’s friendship wasn’t sincere, that Amelia hadn’t told him about her relationship with Richard.
The thought of Kyle’s heartache added to her own, and tears streamed from Amelia’s eyes. She gave up trying to wipe them away. “I didn’t know one mistake could ruin so many lives.”
Her mother reached into her sleeve and pulled out a handkerchief as she’d done a thousand times or more while Amelia was growing up. She handed it to Amelia. “It was Richard’s manipulation that ruined lives, honey, not your mistake. Giving yourself to a boy you love because you believe you’ll marry him shouldn’t destroy the lives of several people. Not that I’m endorsing intimacy before marriage, but I was close with your father before we married and it turned out fine.”
Amelia gripped the handkerchief and her father’s jacket in her damp fingers. “I should never have told Papa about Richard. If he hadn’t known, he wouldn’t have tried to make Richard marry me and Richard wouldn’t have blackmailed him. Then none of this would have happened.”
“Honey, a father is supposed to protect his daughter. I would have far less respect for your father if he hadn’t gone after Richard. As deeply as I sympathize with you right now, it’s a relief knowing your father spent his time at the lumberyard because of financial concerns. I wondered at times if there might be another woman. My heart aches considerably less knowing the truth.”
“I wish I could say the same.” Amelia wiped her face and blew her nose, then met her mother’s concerned eyes. “What am I going to do, Mama?”
Her mother sighed and patted Amelia’s shoulder. “Go home and talk to your husband.”
“He won’t talk, Mama. He never does.”
Chapter Thirty-two
Kyle entered the depot warehouse where Marcus, his youngest crew member, was sitting in dim lantern light to read a book. “Why are you sitting beside this hot bastard?” Kyle asked, glaring at their black monstrosity of a stove. He would die in this heat, but he couldn’t go home and witness the devastation in Amelia’s eyes. Not for at least the next ten years.
Marcus glanced up in surprise and lowered his book to his lap. “There’s a hole in the ash pan. Doesn’t look too big, but I’ve been keeping an eye on it. I’ll fix it tomorrow.” Marcus looked at his watch. “You’re about seven hours early, aren’t you?”
“It’s your lucky evening.”
Marcus grinned. “It will be if my wife can get the baby to bed early enough.”
Kyle forced himself to smile, but he felt like knocking Marcus’s pretty teeth out of his head. The kid had been married a year and hadn’t stopped grinning since his wedding day. Kyle jerked his chin toward the door. “Get out of here.”
Marcus slapped his book closed and jumped to his feet. “Thanks, boss!”
“Don’t tell me about it in the morning or I’ll kill you.”
The door cut off Marcus’s laughter and Kyle was suddenly surrounded with quiet solitude. Despite the heat, it suited his mood. The hum of the stove and smell of drying wood was more inviting than the loud bar he’d considered escaping to.
It was definitely preferable to seeing Amelia in pain, or remembering the gut-wrenching shock he’d felt when he discovered that Richard was the man Amelia had loved.
Richard, the bastard, hadn’t even appreciated the gift Amelia had given him, what she’d sacrificed for him. Kyle shook his head and paced the warehouse, wondering if he’d ever really known Richard. Maybe when they were boys, possibly before Kyle’s father died, but after that, he and Richard had merely passed in and out of each other’s lives. Kyle definitely didn’t know the Richard who’d just confessed to blackmailing Tom.
It wasn’t Richard’s blackmail, or his betrayal of Kyle’s friendship, that had made Kyle lose control. It was the devastated expression on Amelia’s face when Richard said he’d used her as a diversion from Catherine that made Kyle want to kill him.
How could Richard have been so cruel? Kyle shook his head, knowing his own words and actions had inflicted the most pain on Amelia. He should have found a way to tell her that he’d proposed to Catherine, to explain why he’d done it.
Dammit! Why the hell did he always struggle with words? All he’d wanted to do was explain, to tell her how sorry he was, how deeply he regretted hurting her. Why did it have to be so damned difficult for him?
With a curse of frustration, Kyle kicked the black belly of the stove. Thunder rolled through the building and soot spilled from the pipe. Wood tumbled inside the stove and a loud pop shook the cast-iron box.
With another curse, he bent over to look underneath the stove to see if any glowing coals had slipped out. The wood floor was clear, but he was still too tense to sit down so he paced the width of the warehouse until his shin and shoulders ached. After an hour, he was exhausted, sick to his stomach, and falling asleep on his feet. With a hard sigh, he grabbed the chair, dragged it toward the back of the warehouse, and sat down. All he could think about was Amel
ia’s beautiful face wet with tears. Kyle scrubbed his palms over his forehead, wishing he could forget the heartbroken look in her eyes tonight, but it kept circling in his mind. Just like the thought of her lying with Richard.
Kyle slouched in his chair and propped his feet on a stack of beams. He knew Amelia hadn’t told him about Richard because she hadn’t wanted to risk breaking their friendship. She hadn’t intended to deceive him. Amelia was too sincere for deceit. She’d endured Richard’s presence in their home to please Kyle.
Everything she did was for someone else. Kyle closed his eyes and leaned his head back, remembering the way she’d sat on the floor with Cinnamon and Ginger the night he brought them home for her. They’d made her laugh through her pain, and Kyle had watched her draw comfort from those two rambunctious fur balls, knowing it should have been his own arms that consoled her.
As memories and regrets tumbled through his mind, his breathing slowed and he drifted in memories, hearing the splash of the falls, feeling Amelia’s soft skin against his as they made love, listening to the way she’d laughed. As if he were right there behind the falls, Kyle watched the way her hair swung around her shoulders as she lunged forward and fell on top of him. But as the night deepened, her image grew elusive and slipped from his grasp, and finally, Kyle lost her altogether in the blackness.
The thunder of pounding feet and panicked shouts jolted him from sleep and Kyle bolted up in his chair. Smoke billowed around him and his throat felt clogged with burning smoke that stole his ability to breathe.
“Kyle! Where are you?” Boyd yelled from the front of the building.
“Back—” Kyle choked and staggered to his feet. A hard cough wrenched his chest and gut and doubled him over until tears streamed down his face. He dragged an arm across his eyes and peered through the smoke, but couldn’t see more than three feet in front of him. Holy God, the building was on fire. The stove! He’d kicked the stove like a goddamned idiot! And he’d never checked the stove pipe.
The Longing Page 24
