by T. S. Ryder
***
This was worse than he thought. Benjamin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to snarl. Caitlyn had stopped her march when he issued his apology for the personal insults he had delivered, coupled with a condemnation of her hostile actions. She had refused to withdraw her armies, but at least he was able to open a dialogue with her.
The same could not be said of her allies.
He looked up as Julia entered his room, yawning. She held little Henry and he smiled as she passed him the baby. With everything that was happening, he found a great deal of solace in her presence. They rarely saw each other when she was working, but she spent a few minutes with him at the end of her shift every day.
"Did you give me the baby just so I'd change his diaper?" Benjamin asked, wrinkling his nose.
Julia collapsed on his bed and kicked off her shoes. He liked the way she looked there. She didn't respond, so he quickly changed the dirty diaper and sat next to her, rocking Henry. The baby smiled a gummy smile at him and made cooing noises. His heart lifted slightly, although not by much.
"I heard that there were a few small attacks on the border this morning." Julia propped herself onto her elbow, her lower lip clenched between her teeth. It was a look that he had come to recognize as meaning that she was trying not to show any emotion. "Anything about your day you can tell me about?"
"There have been attacks," Benjamin confirmed. "We haven't identified who is behind them just yet, although I have my suspicions. I spent most of the day in a video conference with Caitlyn and several of the kingdom's allies. She wants me to marry her still."
Julia scowled. "But that bi—" She glanced at Henry. "—bag lady doesn't even like you. What does she want to marry you for?"
"Henry's too young to understand what you're saying. It's okay to swear in front of him."
"No. Yesterday in the market, I heard this kid using all kinds of language and I don't want my son to end up like that. So, it's self-censorship for me. Don't think you'll get out of answering my question, though."
Benjamin had to smile at that. It was hard not to fall in love with her every time he saw her with her small son. It was clear that he was the center of Julia's world and, after hearing about the massive debts she'd incurred to ensure that she could keep him, his admiration for her only grew. Julia was a rare person and he wanted to get to know her better. He had a feeling he'd just barely scratched the surface.
"Caitlyn wants to marry me because it's a good political match. It'd strengthen us both and she's in the same position as I am. A single monarch? Her councilors will be pushing her to marry just as mine are. And if you can't marry for love, why not marry for politics and wealth?"
"You're not getting married," Julia muttered savagely. "All those people can go get their eyes poked out. You're just fine like this."
Was that a hint of jealousy that he heard in her voice? Benjamin tucked Henry between a couple of pillows to make sure he wouldn’t roll off the bed, then caught Julia around the waist. He pulled her tight against him and ground his hips into hers. Her body shuddered and she wrapped her arms around his neck, a sexy grin appearing.
Benjamin nipped at her lower lip. "Marrying is off-limits, huh? Says who?"
"Says me. The girl you're sleeping with."
"And what if I wanted to marry you?"
Despite his teasing tone, Julia froze. Her eyes went wide and her face paled. Her whole stance went rigid and Benjamin winced.
"I'm just a housekeeper."
He opened his mouth to tell her that it was just a joke and he didn't expect her to marry him – certainly not, since they hardly knew each other – when the door opened. The two of them sprang apart as Natalie rushed into the room.
Her jaw dropped when she saw Julia, although Benjamin had thought that the blonde already knew what was going on between them. She swallowed hard and turned to the prince.
"Forgive the intrusion. I just ran into your PA and I thought I would deliver the message myself. Queen Maria has awoken from her coma."
Benjamin's heart jumped to his throat. He glanced at Julia and she nodded at him once. Without another word, he bolted for the door. His mother, awake. That had to mean she was going to get better now . . . right?
Chapter Nine – Clouds in the Heart
From the way Natalie was looking at her, Julia wouldn't have been surprised if she suddenly burst into flame. It was sheer hatred and jealousy. Well, all those warnings she'd been getting increasingly lately made sense now. No matter how much Natalie might deny it, she was in love with the handsome Dragon.
Thank God I never told her about the reason I came here, Julia thought as she picked up the diaper bag. I'd be out on my ass before I could sing 'do re mi.'
"What do you think you're doing? I warned you. He uses girls and tosses them aside. What are you doing coming into his bedroom, having private little meetings with him?"
Julia put the car seat onto the bed and nestled Henry inside. "It's nothing. We get together, we talk. It's nothing more than that. You don't have to worry about it."
"You are one of the housekeepers and my responsibility—"
"And Fredrick has been praising my work. I do a good job and I do more than my job. What I do when I'm not on the clock isn't your business, Nat." She sighed. "Look, I understand. I really do. But Benjamin isn't . . . Well, he's different than I thought. We were both wrong about him."
Natalie barked out a laugh. "Both? No. No, I'm right and you're wrong! All the girls think that they're the special one. They all think that it's different with them. But it's not. It's always the same. You're no different than any of the others."
"Or you," Julia shot back. "Your eyes are turning green. I can see them from here. You're just jealous. Honestly, you need to get over whatever crush you've got on Benjamin. You're a beautiful, intelligent and hardworking woman. You deserve to have a life of your own. Don't worry about what I'm doing, worry about yourself. I don't do the brokenhearted mess. When Benjamin gets tired of me, or when I get tired of him, it'll be over. Until then, mind your own business!"
"You'd better watch yourself," Natalie seethed. "I've been here for years. I know how things work. If you don't want to listen to me, then everything that happens from here on out is going to be on your head."
Natalie stalked away, her ponytail swinging from side to side. Julia stared at her, unable to stop a shudder moving down her spine. That was a threat if there had ever been one. Had she really misjudged the other woman so much so that she didn't see Natalie's huge crush on Benjamin?
Henry began to fuss, so Julia turned back to him. What could Natalie do against her, really? She'd probably apologize for the next day when Julia came in for work. And if she tried to get her fired? Well, Benjamin would have something to say about that . . .
Trying to shake off the lingering feeling of unease, Julia headed for the door. She just hoped that the queen stayed awake and didn't have a relapse again. The way things were going, Julia wasn't sure the kingdom would survive if that happened.
***
Julia winced as she pulled her underwear on. She was a little tender from the fevered marathon she and Benjamin had made of it the previous night, though she wouldn't have traded it for the world. He had been so completely with her, so focused that she had been brought to heights she had never known before.
"How is your mother?" It had been two weeks since the queen had woken from her coma. She’d been brought back to the palace the previous day.
Benjamin beamed. "Getting stronger every day. The hostilities have calmed down, too, and I've been able to make some progress on a diplomatic solution. Caitlyn remains stubborn as ever, but her allies are working on her to cool off."
Julia shook her head as she rolled her eyes. "Typical. Nothing has changed. You're still in charge. You didn't change anything that you were doing before, but now you're seeing progress when before they wouldn’t even listen to you."
"You don't have to tell me that." Be
njamin's gaze dropped to her breasts as she fastened her bra and let out a strangled noise. "When I'm king, I'm going to make it a law that you can't cover those beauties up."
"Ha!" Julia snorted and narrowed her eyes. "Now I'm supposed to say that I won't walk around naked and you say that I'll have to stay in your room for the rest of my life, right?"
"How well you know me."
He nuzzled into her neck, making her moan. Benjamin's PA and his wife had taken Henry for the night, allowing the two of them to have a stress-free evening. Today was her day off and she had shopping to do, laundry to take care of, dishes that needed to be washed, and a host of other things to do. But most of all, she was looking forward to spending the day with her sweet little son.
She remembered what she had seen on the news the previous night and frowned. "So, this was our break up sex, right?"
Benjamin tripped as he tried to put on his pants, ending face-down on the floor. He sprang to his feet and stared at her. "What?"
"It's all over the news that the council has said that you have to be married by the end of the year. You can't really go find yourself a wife while you're sleeping with me."
She doggedly ignored what he had said to her a few weeks ago. She wasn't queen material. Even if she was, Benjamin wouldn't see her that way. He couldn’t. Besides, she wasn't going to be married on a deadline. When she found a partner, it was going to be in her own time and way. There were already too many rumors floating around about her.
"There isn't anybody I'm looking at yet," Benjamin said. "No need to end this yet. And when it is time for the breakup sex, I'll let you know before, not after."
"Thanks," she replied dryly, crossing her eyes at him.
Benjamin chuckled and brushed a kiss across her lips before he left. Julia sighed as she finished dressing. In all honesty, she needed to end it all. It had to stop before it got too far and Benjamin started to think things like it was okay to marry her. Funny . . . she had come into this situation wanting to emotionally destroy him. In the end, it was her emotionally destroying herself.
She had just finished dressing when there was a soft knock on the door. Julia hurried to make the bed before running to answer it. When she opened the door, she gasped. On the other side was Queen Maria. She sat in an electric wheelchair, wearing a cream-colored blouse and some nice slacks. Julia quickly dropped to a half-bow.
"Your majesty," she said awkwardly. "Ben — I mean, the prince isn't here. He's—"
"I'm here to see you, Julia. Not Benjamin. Would you care to join me in the library? There's this delightful little book that I love to sit and read in. It's very private."
Julia swallowed. How could she refuse a queen? She nodded and they set out. The library was a large, imposing room full of more books that could be read in twelve lifetimes. The nook that Maria had spoken of was cozy, though, next to a bay window, with red velvet armchairs sitting to overlook the view. The queen settled herself in one while Julia sat in the other.
"No need to look so nervous." Maria smiled a warm, motherly smile at her. "Benjamin has told me a great deal about you. I've never seen him so taken by a woman before."
This wasn't what she wanted to hear at all. "Things aren't like that between us," she blurted. "There isn't . . . there's no emotion. It's just sex. If you want me to stay away from him, I will." What the hell did she just say? She was speaking to his mother – the queen!
But the queen looked amused at Julia's outburst. "Nothing but sex, huh? Very well, then. I want you to leave the palace and never talk to him again. I'll give you a sizable payment for you to relocate. But there will be no further contact."
"But . . . I have to at least tell him goodbye!" A feeling of panic beat against her chest. She couldn't leave just like that!
"I thought there was no emotion?"
"I . . . I don't want to be rude." Julia dropped her gaze. "It's not like that at all."
"It is like that. You know it as well as I do. Now, I know it's frightening, the prospect of being a queen, especially when you're human. But I've looked into your past. We don't need a perfect specimen. We need someone passionate who will bring life to my boy. You've done that. Do you know why a king without his queen is seen as nothing?"
Julia shook her head. It honestly made little sense to her.
"Because a king without a queen has nothing to lose. Nothing to fight for. He loves you, Julia. He'll fight for you."
The tears hit hard. Julia shook her head. Her chest felt like it was collapsing and for a moment she was sure she was dying. Sobs ripped up her spine and Julia hunched over, wrapping her arms around herself. No. It couldn’t be true. Benjamin didn't love her. He didn't love her and she didn't love him . . .
But she did. She loved his strength, his vulnerability. The look in his eyes when he held her close, the determination in his gait when he dealt with the generals, everything about him. But she couldn’t be the one he loved. She just couldn't.
"Julia?" Maria's hand brushed the back of her neck. "What's wrong?"
"He won't fight for me. Not when he knows the truth."
"The truth?"
Julia looked up into her queen's eyes and blurted out everything. Cynthia. Henry. Her plan. Everything.
Chapter Ten – A Sudden Change in Wind
Benjamin frowned at his phone. What was his mother calling him for? He had just barely stepped out of the palace on his way to meet with representatives from Northfall. He accepted the call. "Mother, is something wrong?"
"I'd say it is." Maria's voice was perfectly even. "I need to speak with you at once."
There was the sound of crying in the background. Benjamin hesitated only a moment. His mother knew what he was doing, and if she was calling him back, then it had to be of urgent importance. He headed back inside, wondering what this could be about. By the time he reached his mother's suite, his fire was flickering, agitated.
Julia was in the suite, sitting by the window. She was sobbing but pulled herself up straighter when he walked in. Benjamin rushed to her, but as he reached out for her, she pulled away. It stopped him and then he saw the look on his mother's face. Grim. A flash of anger in her eyes. His heart started pounding. Had she told Julia to leave the palace? Was that why Julia was sobbing so hard? Did Maria think Julia wasn't good enough to be queen? Well, he wouldn’t accept that.
"Mother." He inclined his head, hoping his voice didn't give him away. "What did you want to speak to me about?"
Julia made a muffled sobbing noise. Her arms wrapped around her middle and she rocked back and forth. The heavy scent of lavender, meant to be soothing, did nothing to calm his agitation.
"It's nothing I need to say to you," Maria said. "Julia here has something she needs to tell you. Before this . . . The relationship gets any deeper."
Benjamin turned his bewildered gaze onto Julia. Fresh tears poured down her face and he dropped to his knees next to her, reaching to take her hands in his. Once more, she drew back. It was like she didn't want him to touch her. But why?
"Julia? What is it?"
She gave Maria a wild-eyed, terrified look.
Benjamin growled low in his throat. Regardless of Julia's flinches, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, narrowing his eyes at his mother. "I don't care what you and the councilors think. I'm not going to throw Julia away like she's nothing to me. It's ridiculous to say that I have to be married on such a tight deadline, how am I supposed to run a kingdom if I don't love my queen?"
"Don't," Julia gasped. She pulled away from him, only adding to his confusion. He shot a questioning look at Maria, who shook her head.
"I'm not telling you to do anything but listen to what she has to say – and then leave. Don't say a word until you know exactly how you want to respond, Benjamin."
"I don't understand."
Julia let out a sob mixed with a laugh. "You will soon. Benjamin . . . I'm sorry. I never meant . . . I mean, I didn't know . . . I . . . "
T
he prince wrapped his arms around her, wishing he knew what was going on. What could she possibly tell him that would have her breaking down like this? She was always in control. Dread slipped into the pit of his stomach. Was she married? Sick? Dying?
"Julia, tell me," he urged. His head felt foggy from the confusion and he struggled to concentrate. "Nothing you can say will make me turn away from you."
Julia laughed through her tears. "Oh, Benjamin . . . I wish . . . "
"Ben?" Maria gasped.
He turned to her to see the color rapidly draining from her face. She slumped in her wheelchair, both hands clutching her chest. She opened her mouth and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she toppled over. Benjamin lunged, just catching the wheelchair from falling on her. Adrenaline spiked through his blood.
Not again!
"Mother! Mother!" Benjamin gathered her into his arms and shook her gently, trying to get her to respond. She hung limp, eyes half-closed. Was she breathing? He couldn't see her chest moving. "Mother!"
Julia dropped to her knees beside him. She grasped Maria's wrist and held it for a few seconds. "She doesn't have a heartbeat."
"Mother!"
Benjamin froze, unable to process the situation. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. She couldn’t be dying. Couldn't be . . . dead.
"Lay her on the floor," Julia ordered him. "Flat."
Everything seemed to be spinning around him and he couldn't seem to focus on anything. His nostrils felt clogged, the air thick. It filled his lungs and made his fires flicker, riding low. His eyes drooped . . . He needed to breathe but his lungs weren't working.
Julia bent over Maria, doing chest compressions. The scent lavender clung to him, with a nutty undertone. Suddenly Benjamin knew what it was. He stumbled to his feet and staggered to the window. He couldn’t get it open, so he grabbed the teapot sitting on the table and smashed it into the glass. A rush of air hit him square in the face, making the spinning of his head stop. He sucked in a deep breath and broke open the rest of the window to maximize airflow, then rushed to the door and kicked it open.
