by Linda Kage
“Are you shitting me?” I blurted out incredulously. “I let a lot of people touch me.” My fingers shook with worry even as I attempted to remain as calm and cool as possible. “She’s just a girl I’ve talked to a few times. She’s no one. I don’t know why I used her last night with you. You told me to picture someone else, and I didn’t have anyone, so hers was the first face to pop into my head because she’d been the last girl I talked to before visiting you. That’s all. She’s not anything to me, she’s a complete innocent, a stranger, and not even worth mentioning to Patricia.”
“My, my.” Monica sat back in her chair and smiled. “I think the boy dost protest too much.”
“Fuck yes,” I told her. “Because I know Patricia. And you obviously do too. She likes to fuck with people just for the fun of it. And I pissed her off, so she’d go after me in a heartbeat if she ever learned of something she thought she could use to actually hurt me. If she believed I liked some girl, it’d be a bloodbath. For the girl. But I don’t. So some completely innocent person getting targeted would be even worse. I don’t want shit like that on my conscience. So why don’t you just keep your mouth shut, and we both forget I ever said one stupid name at the worst moment ever. Okay?”
Monica just watched me. Finally, she tsked and shook her head slowly. “Poor boy,” she murmured. “Don’t you know you’re in the wrong business to have something as useless as a conscience?”
She was telling me.
With a sigh, she sat forward. “I’m not stupid, Mason. You would say exactly what you’re saying now if you did really like this girl.”
I thought it through and shrugged. “Yeah,” I admitted, “I probably would. But I don’t.”
She lifted her hands. “Then you know what you have to do to ensure my silence?”
Fed up with this bullshit, I growled, “You want Thursday? Fine. You can have fucking Thursday.”
But she cringed at that suggestion. “Except, no, I think I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to wait all the way until Thursday anymore.”
Strangling her would be the easiest solution. It’d solve my problem, protect Reese, and I wouldn’t have to play her little blackmail game or fuck her ever again.
It was really too bad I was completely against murder or even violence.
“Then when?” I asked, sighing out my impatience and rubbing at the center of my forehead irritably.
She just smiled at me and glanced around the small, closed-in office.
I lifted my eyebrows, my stomach churning with unease. No, I wanted to deny, even though I knew where this was going. Not here. Not right now.
But I went ahead and guessed, “Right here? Right now?”
The witch didn’t even nod. She just smiled at me with this gloating kind of triumph that made me want to rebel and tell her to fuck off so badly my gut burned with acid.
Except Reese needed to stay untouched by the likes of Patricia Garrison.
So, I sighed again, in the most lackluster way I could manage. “Whatever,” I mumbled.
Monica snickered. “You know what you have to say.”
Fuck you, was what I wanted to growl. But after rolling my jaw and swallowing my pride, I glanced away and unsteadily rasped, “What’s your fantasy today, professor?”
“Ooh.” She shivered in delight. “I like the way you call me professor.” Opening the top drawer of her desk, she reached inside and pulled out a wad of cloth before flinging it across the desk.
I caught it in one hand, then held it up, letting it fall open until a pair of silver thong underwear hung from my index finger.
“I took them off about five minutes before you showed up in my doorway,” Monica announced, pushing back her chair and crossing her legs to draw attention to the hem of her skirt. “I had a feeling you’d find your way to me.”
Because I was a moron, I decided.
I’d played this all wrong—right into her hands—and given myself away. Now I was fucked. What the hell had I been thinking?
When she stood and set her hands on the desktop, posing at a side angle to best show off her curves, I think she assumed I’d be tantalized by the whole panty-less, older woman, student-teacher thing, but meh. That just wasn’t me.
I had a bad feeling some of the disinterest in me somehow always managed to show through though, because it only made my clients more determined to try to make me want it.
She bent over, sliding her palms flat across the surface of her desk and flashing me her deep cleavage even as she poked her ass out behind her.
“I don’t want compassion this time,” she said, anticipation and excitement glimmering in her gaze. “Let’s get a little rowdier and play naughty professor instead.” She winked at me, already in position for how she wanted me to take her. “How about I be Dr. Janison, the lonely middle-aged English professor in need of a little physical contact?”
Dammit, I groaned internally, even as I met her gaze and slowly stood from my chair. Time to get my head in the game. “Then I’ll be some random college student, just desperate to not fail your class.” Rounding the table, I reached for her hip even as I swallowed down the revulsion rising in my throat. “Whatever could I do to earn a little extra credit, professor?”
Confession #14: Sometimes, I really didn’t like myself.
I missed my afternoon class. But to ensure Reese’s safety, it was worth it.
Monica seemed pleased, anyway.
“Wow,” she panted from the top of her desk where she’d collapsed after coming…for a second time. Sweat matted her hair to her face, and a satisfied laugh tumbled from her lips as she rolled onto her back to gaze up at me, watching me zip my jeans back into place. “I mean…just… Wow. Excellent performance, Mr. Lowe. You were so good, in fact, I’ll make sure your little girlfriend gets an A after all.”
I glanced at her as I fastened the top button of my fly. We hadn’t once discussed Reese’s grade. Why the fuck was she bringing up Reese’s grade?
Shaking my head, I frowned suspiciously. “Why don’t you just give her whatever grade she actually deserves?”
“Hmm?” After lifting her eyebrows, she shrugged and glanced at her fingernails only to frown when she found a small chip that she’d probably gotten from grabbing onto the edge of her desk as hard as she had. “Well, okay then. But I figured you wanted to receive something extra in return for all your hard work.”
“I am,” I said slowly, my eyes narrowing as I stepped closer. “I’m ensuring your silence with Patricia.”
She cringed. “Yes, but the thing is…I already told Patty everything.”
I paused, then very slowly said, “Say what now?”
After tossing out another careless shrug, she added, “Before you even came into my office.”
I took a breath to clear my head because this shit was not funny. I stared at her intently, waiting for her to laugh and tell me she was joking. Because she better be fucking joking.
But she offered no such relief, and my heart skipped a beat.
Oh shit. Mother fucking son of a bitch. She wasn’t joking.
The urge to curse fluidly and grab my hair with two fists as I kicked her desk and maybe even knocked papers off it, scattering them everywhere, filled me until I actually wanted to physically hurt her. Yet despite how much I might scream and rage and blame her for tricking me, sadly, I was mostly just pissed at myself for falling for it.
Because, fuck… Why hadn’t I known better? I’d walked right into that like a damn dumbass. And now… Now Reese had been made.
I shook my head, my skin going cold as I tried not to think about worst-case scenarios, even as fifty of them flooded my head.
“You did what?” I said slowly, just to make sure I hadn’t heard her wrong. “Because you said before we started that—”
Monica’s laugh cut me off. “I said?” she repeated in amusement, pressing a hand to her chest like some kind of innocent angel. “Baby, I said whatever I needed to say to get what I want
ed. I mean, isn’t that what you do?”
To clients, maybe. I said what they wanted to hear to get my paycheck. That never hurt anyone, though; it usually left them smiling and feeling better about themselves.
But this… This could hurt Reese. It directly involved risking her safety. Because Patricia was a fucking viper, and if she thought some girl had become special to me, I knew without a doubt she’d find some way to spread her poison all over Reese.
Acid burned and gurgled in my stomach just thinking about the bright and bubbly Reese being hurt.
“Honestly, Mason,” Monica went on, “Patricia’s my best friend. I tell her everything.” A ding from her computer made her perk to attention. “Oh! There.” She reached for her mouse to wake the screen. “That’s her reply now. I was sending her a copy of Miss Randall’s school records when you appeared in my doorway.”
“Wow, because that’s fucking legal,” I snarled.
She snickered, “Said the male prostitute.”
Shit, I couldn’t turn her in for her breach of ethics or she’d turn me in for my own illegal activities.
I glanced away. God, I was such a fool. A stupid naïve fool that hadn’t learned a single thing since Patricia had walked into my backyard two years ago and tricked me into following her home.
“You lied to me,” I charged quietly.
“Aww,” Monica said, reaching out to cup my chin. “Did I hurt your feelings?”
When I jerked out of her grip to glare at her, she chuckled. “Well, it’s time to grow up, sweetheart, and face the facts. You’re a worthless little whore who wasn’t giving me what I wanted. Why did you even think I owed you any kind of honesty or decency?”
The rush of hate and anger that filled my veins momentarily blurred my vision. This instinctive need to grab her neck and start strangling her until her face turned blue and she realized how despicable and amoral she was flashed so strongly inside me I had to ball my hands into fists to physically restrain myself from lifting my arms.
But just under the rage, I felt as low and worthless as she’d just told me I was. Tapping my foot, I managed to relieve enough shame and hopelessness and rage to respond.
“Thank goodness you don’t teach ethics,” I managed to say as calmly as possible, somehow keeping my chin up and back straight. She’d never see how much she slayed me.
With a laugh, she nodded. “God, yes, you’re telling me. Literature is much more my speed. Now about next Thursday. My husband’s out of town again, and I want—”
When she reached for my arm, I snapped it out of her reach, saying, “No. Never again.”
She paused, not quite able to mask the initial rejection she felt before she laughed as if amused. “Oh, yes. Again,” she countered, growing deadly serious. “Whenever I want it, in fact. I’d say your little Reese’s grade depends on it.”
“Fuck you,” I growled, stepping closer. “I said never again, and I meant it. I will turn myself over to the authorities, the dean of the English department, and whoever else I have to, and expose us both before I let you mess with her grade. Do I make myself clear?”
Worry lined her eyes even as she tossed me a gloating smirk. “Cute bluff, darling. But I’m not buying it.”
I reached for her so suddenly she gasped and reared back. But all I grabbed was a piece of her hair. “Go ahead,” I challenged softly. “Call my bluff. You’re the one who has so far to fall. I’m just the worthless whore who doesn’t deserve anything, remember?” Shrugging, I stepped back. “What do I have to lose?”
She definitely wasn’t Patricia. Patricia would’ve swung back, hit me where it hurt most, threatened Sarah and my mom, probably even Reese again. But Monica wasn’t nearly as ballsy.
Visibly shaken, she took a step back and pointed toward the door, before growling, “Get out.”
I sneered out a dark smile. “Gladly.”
With my head held high, I walked from her office, only to curse under my breath once I was halfway down the hall. I think she bought my bluff, but now I had a whole new—worse—horror to face.
Patricia Garrison.
Learning a bit of my lesson with Monica, I knew I couldn’t just outright confront Patricia to settle this. She’d immediately assume Reese was important to me, and she’d sniff around the poor girl more ardently than ever.
I had to play this cool. Smart. Low-key.
Approaching Reese in public was probably what had gotten me into all this trouble in the first place. But I figured if I shied away from her now and kept my distance that would raise a bigger flag to Patricia, making her think I was trying to protect Reese. But if I continued to hang out with her as if I wasn’t worried about her safety, it would send Patricia the message that I didn’t care as much as Monica might’ve made her think I did.
At least, I hoped that was how it would play out. No matter what I did, it was a risk either way, one that made me break out in a cold sweat whenever I thought about it. I didn’t want Reese falling victim to anything Patricia-related.
But Patricia knew me; she knew the lengths I would go to for the people important to me. And whenever Monica told her what I’d done just now in that office, because of Reese, she would know my first instinct now would be to stay as far away from Reese as possible in an attempt to show that I wasn’t into her. Meaning, I had to do the exact opposite of my instincts.
It felt all kinds of wrong, but it also felt like the safest bet. Besides, if I stayed closer to her, maybe I could divert Patricia’s punches before she threw them.
So…
The next day at lunch between classes, I approached Reese again, my palms sweating the entire time, hoping this plan didn’t backfire like the last one had.
Eva Mercer sat next to her, which normally would’ve kept me away, but I had to make this look real—casual—and not like I wanted to flirt. A friendly encounter. Ergo, Mercer’s presence might actually help. Nothing about Mercer being around would put me in a flirty mood.
I blew out a long breath as I moved close enough to hear their conversation. They were talking about a party when I sat on the empty bench seat at the table across from them, surprising them both. When I stole one of Reese’s chili cheese fries, because that seemed like something a friend might do and because I just liked to tease her, she rewarded me by sassing back about my thievery.
Instant warmth filled my chest, and I realized the true reason why I was here.
I could tell myself all I liked that I only wanted to protect her and keep her out of a bad situation that I might’ve put her in, but the fact of the matter remained: I just wanted to be around her, to learn more about her, to simply be able to look at her up close and see the details of her smile, hear all the different inflections in her laugh, experience the warmth of her joy.
I was freaking hooked.
When Eva rudely tried to shoo me away, it didn’t take Reese long to realize her friend and I had some serious beef with each other.
“Okay, okay, okay,” she broke in, waving a hand to interrupt. “I’m sensing a disturbance in the Force between you two. Is there some kind of history here I’m not aware of?” Then she gasped. “Oh my God. You two have slept together, haven’t you?”
Impressed she could sense a personal difference between us so quickly, I shook my head even as I internally frowned over the very idea of me and Mercer ever hooking up. “Wow,” I told her. “Your curiosity has no filter whatsoever, does it?”
I guess I didn’t answer her question sufficiently enough because she scowled at me before turning to Eva. “E?”
“It’s nothing,” Eva muttered, growing engrossed in a planner she was flipping through.
Reese sighed and lifted her eyebrows expectantly at me.
“What?” I asked, pulling back, not liking her probing stare. It made me want to confess all my sins. Except none of them had anything to do with Eva Mercer. “She said it was nothing.”
To which Eva sniffed and slapped her planner shut. “Nothing?” s
he screeched incredulously before whirling to Reese. “Okay, fine. One night at a party about, oh, a year ago, I’d had a little too much to drink and I ended up throwing myself at him.” Her gaze pierced me with a hateful squint. “And he turned me down. Flat.”
Her glare seemed to say, how dare the worthless hooker think he was too good to be with me?
I narrowed my gaze right back, because to me, it had been a kind, chivalrous gesture, not something to hate me over. “And she proceeded to call me a pretentious bastard for it,” I told Reese.
“Well, you are,” Eva muttered.
“…who had no right to act so self-righteously because I’m nothing but a high-priced whore with a pretty face, who’ll end up an overweight, broke, balding no one by the time I’m forty.” I lifted my eyebrows Eva’s way. “Isn’t that how you worded it?”
With a gasp, Reese pressed her hand to her chest. “You called him a whore?”
I grinned, always pleased when she defended me.
Eva merely shrugged, unrepentant. “He is a whore.”
I flashed out my hand in a see-what-I-mean gesture for Reese. “So that’s what I get for trying to be a gentleman and not take advantage of the stumbling, slurring drunk girl.” I picked up the cup Reese had been drinking from and took a big sip through the straw, only to pull back and wince. “What is this?”
Reese wrinkled her nose at me. “It’s a diet cola.”
This girl. I swear. She could eat salad one day and chili cheese fries the next. Then she went from a calorie-loaded latte to a diet cola. She was the ultimate conundrum.
And every time I discovered more pieces of her puzzle, I realized I liked her even more than the day before.
Which was dangerous.
So, I made an exit not long after that, knowing I was tempting fate. It was one thing to hang around her in order to ensure Patricia wasn’t picking on her and try to make it look as if I didn’t care all the much about her while I got to learn more in the process. But it was another to flat-out fall for her. So yeah, I fled.
