by Maya Blake
* * *
The Monza circuit, perched on the outskirts of the small namesake town, was situated north of Milan. The view from above as Rafael’s helicopter pilot flew over the racetrack was spectacular.
A riot of colour from the different sponsor logos and team colours defied the late winter greyness. She felt the palpable excitement from small teams readying the race cars before they landed.
Casting a glance at Rafael, she couldn’t immediately see his reaction due to wraparound shades and noise-cancelling headphones, but his shoulders, the same ones she’d caressed barely ninety minutes ago, tensed the closer they got to the landing pad. If they’d been alone she would’ve placed her hand on his—an incredible development considering this time last week the thought of touching him set her teeth on edge—but she didn’t want to attract undue attention. The paddock would supply enough gossip to fuel this event and the rest of the X1 season as it was.
Cameras flashed as soon as the helicopter touched down and demanding questions were lobbed towards them the moment the doors opened.
Are you returning to racing, Rafael?
Will you be officially announcing your retirement today or is this the start of your comeback?
Is it true you’re suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder?
His jaw was set in concrete even though his lips were curved in a smile as he stepped out of the helicopter and waved a lazy hand at the cameras.
A luxurious four-by-four was parked a few feet away. He held the door open for Raven and slid in after her.
‘I don’t know how you can stand them without wanting to punch someone in the face,’ Raven found herself murmuring as she watched a particularly ambitious paparazzo hop onto the back of a scooter and race after them.
‘They help raise the profile of the sport. They’re a necessary evil.’
‘Even when they’re intrusive to the point of personal violation?’
‘When I engage them, I engage them on my terms. It’s a skill I learned early.’
With a surprise, she realised that everything the press knew about Rafael was something he’d chosen to share with them, not some sleazy gossip they’d dug up. To the common spectator, Rafael lived his life in the public eye but in the past few weeks she’d discovered he had secrets...secrets he shared with no one, not even his family.
‘You give them just enough to keep them interested and to keep them from prying deeper.’
Stunning blue eyes returned her stare with amusement and a hint of respect. ‘That is just so, my clever Raven.’
‘So, what pierces that armour, Rafael?’
His smile dimmed. ‘I could tell you but I’d have to sleep with you.’
Raven’s heart lurched and then sped up when, for a single second, she found herself contemplating if that was a barter worth considering. Sleeping with Rafael...
A tiny electric shock that zapped her system left her speechless.
‘Since you’re not slapping my face in outrage, dare I hope the suggestion isn’t as repulsive as you found it previously?’
‘I...I never thought you were repulsive,’ she replied. ‘You may have been a little too intense with your interest, that’s all.’
‘You dislike my intensity?’
She opened her mouth to say yes, and found herself pausing. ‘I wasn’t used to it. And I didn’t like that you had everyone falling over themselves for you and yet you weren’t satisfied.’
‘But now we’ve spent some time together you think you understand me?’ His tone held a hint of derision that chilled her a little.
‘I don’t claim to understand you but I think I know you a little better, yes.’
The warmth slowly left his eyes to be replaced by a look so neutral he seemed like a total stranger.
Their vehicle pulled up in front of the expansive, stunning motor home that had been set up to accommodate the Italian All-Star event. Several dignitaries from the sports world waited to greet Rafael. He reached for the door handle and turned to her before alighting.
‘Don’t let that knowledge go to your head, querida. I’d hate for you to be disappointed once you realise I won’t hesitate to take advantage of that little chink in your armour. Underneath all this, there is only a core of nothingness that will stun you to your soul.’
He got out before she could respond. Before she drew another breath, he’d transformed into Rafael de Cervantes, world champion and charm aficionado. She watched women and men fall over themselves to be in his company. Basking in the adoration, he disappeared into the motor home without a backward glance.
* * *
Rafael waved away yet another offer of vintage champagne and cast his gaze around for Raven.
He’d been too harsh, he knew. Had he—finally—scared her away for good? The thought didn’t please him as it should have.
But she’d strayed far too close, encroaching on a deep dark place he liked to keep to himself. He hadn’t been joking when he’d warned her about the core of nothingness. How could he? What would be the point in revealing that grotesque, unthinkable secret?
She would hate you, and you don’t want that.
His gut tightened but he pushed the thought away.
No one could hate him more than he hated himself. It was better that he ensured Raven harboured no illusions. Although she’d probably claim not to be, she was the type to see the good in everyone. If she didn’t she wouldn’t have asked for help from a deplorable father who had subjected her to dios knew what to save her mother. He suspected that, deep down, she’d hoped her father would reveal himself to be something other than he was.
Rafael wasn’t and would never be a knight in shining armour. Not to her and not to any other woman. He took what he wanted and he didn’t give a damn.
Above the heads of the two men he was talking to, he saw Chantilly enter the room on her husband’s arm. She zeroed in on him with an openly predatory look, her heavily made-up eyes promising filthy decadence.
Rafael felt nothing. Or rather he felt...different. On further examining his reaction, he realised the sensation he was feeling wasn’t the cheap thrill of playing games with Sergey’s wife. It was self-loathing for having played it in the first place.
He looked away without acknowledging her look and cast his gaze around the room one more time. Realising he still searched for Raven—where the hell was she?—he made a sound of impatience under his breath.
‘Is everything all right?’ the chairman of the All-Star event asked him.
‘The old racetrack has been carefully inspected as I requested?’
The white-haired man nodded. ‘Of course. Every single inch of it. You still haven’t told us whether you’ll be participating.’
Tightness seized his chest. He forced himself to take a breath and smile. ‘The event is only beginning, Adriano. I’ll let you old folks have some fun first.’
‘Less of the old, if you please.’
The laughter smoothed over his non-answer but the tightness didn’t decrease. Nor did his temper when he looked up a third time and found Raven standing at the far end of the room with Axel.
She’d changed from jeans into yet another pair of trousers, made of a faintly shimmery material, and a black clingy top that threw her gym-fit body into relief when she moved.
The sound of a nearby engine revving provided the perfect excuse for Axel to lean in closer to whisper into her ear. Whatever the German was saying to her had her smiling and nodding. Obviously encouraged, her companion moved even closer, one hand brushing her shoulder as he spoke.
Rafael moved without recognising an intention to do so, a feat in itself considering his hip was growing stiffer from standing for too long. ‘Raven, there you are.’
She turned to him. ‘Did you want me?’ she asked, then
flushed slightly.
‘Of course I want you,’ he replied. ‘Why else are you here, if not to come when I want you?’
A spurt of anger entered her eyes. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘I need your physio services. What else?’
She frowned. ‘According to your itinerary, you’re working until ten o’clock tonight. Which is why I scheduled a swim therapy for you afterwards and a proper physio session in the morning.’
His eyes stayed on hers. ‘My schedule is fluid and right now I need you.’
‘Ah, actually, I’m glad you’re here, Rafael,’ Axel said.
‘Really? And why’s that, Jung?’
The other man cleared his throat. ‘I was hoping to convince you to let my team borrow Raven’s services for a few hours. Our regular physiotherapist came down with a stomach bug and had to stay at the hotel.’
‘Out of the question,’ Rafael replied without a single glance in his direction.
‘Rafael!’
‘Need I remind you what your contract states?’ he asked her.
‘I don’t need reminding, but surely—’
He shifted sideways deliberately in a move to get her attention. And succeeded immediately. ‘What happened?’ she demanded, her keen eyes trailing down his body, making a visual inspection.
‘You were right. This whole thing has simply worn me out. I think I’ll have an early night.’ He turned towards the door. ‘Are you coming?’
‘I...yes, of course.’ Concern was etched into her face. Rafael wanted to reassure her that his hip wasn’t painful enough to warrant that level of worry.
But he didn’t because he couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t wish to stay, return to Axel. The disconcerting feeling unsettled him further.
‘I was away for just over an hour. Please tell me you didn’t try and do anything foolish to your body in that time.’
‘Where were you, exactly?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Were you with Jung all that time?’ he asked, an unfamiliar feeling in his chest.
‘Are we seriously doing this again?’
‘How else would he have got it into his mind to poach you?’
‘He wasn’t...isn’t trying to poach me. He was telling the truth. His team’s physio was sent back to his hotel because he fell ill. But they think it’s just a twenty-four hour virus. I didn’t see the harm in agreeing to give my professional opinion.’
‘You should’ve spoken to me first.’
‘In the mood you were in? You bit my head off because I got too close again. I won’t be your personal punchbag for whenever you feel the need to strike out.’
He sucked in a weary breath and Raven forced herself to look at him properly for the first time. Not that it was a hardship.
It was clear he was in pain. His skin was slightly clammy and stress lines flared from his eyes. ‘What the hell did you do to yourself?’ she asked softly.
‘You should’ve stuck around if you were concerned.’
She didn’t get the opportunity to answer as they’d arrived at the helipad. The blades were already whirring when she took her seat beside Rafael for the short trip to their hotel in Milan.
As they exited the lift towards their exclusive penthouse suite, she turned to him. ‘Lean on me.’
When he didn’t argue or make a suggestive comment, she knew he was suffering. Raven was thankful she’d had the forethought to ring ahead to make sure the equipment she needed had been set up.
Back in their hotel, after Rafael stripped to his boxers, she started with a firm sports massage to relax his limbs before she went to work on the strained hip muscles.
By the time she was done, a fine sheen of sweat had broken over his face. Pouring a glass of water, she handed it to him.
He drank and handed the glass back to her.
‘I don’t like seeing you with other men. It drives me slightly nuts,’ he said abruptly.
She stilled in the act of putting away a weighted leg brace. ‘You can’t have all the toys in the playground, Rafael.’
‘I just want one toy. The one sitting on top of the tree that everyone says I can’t have.’
‘What you can’t do is to keep shaking the tree in the hope that the toy will fall into your lap. That’s cheating.’
‘It’s not cheating; it’s taking the initiative. Anyway, you can’t be with Axel.’
She stopped, head tilted to the side, before she tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. ‘Okay, I’ll play. Why can’t I be with him?’
He gave a pained grimace. ‘He has a ridiculous name, for a start. Think how ridiculous your future kids would find you. Raven and Axel Jung. Doesn’t rhyme.’
‘And I have to have a man whose name rhymes with mine, why?’
‘Synergy in all things. Take you and me.’
‘You and me?’ she parroted.
‘Sí. Rafa and Raven rolls right off the tongue. It was meant to be.’
She passed him a towel. ‘I’d suspect you were on some sort of high, but you didn’t touch a drop of alcohol at the mixer and you’ve refused any pain medication.’
‘I’m completely rational. And completely right.’
‘It must be hunger making you delirious then.’ She handed him the walking stick and walked beside him to the living room. ‘Room service?’
With a sigh, he sank into the nearest wide velvet sofa, nodded and put his head back on the chair.
‘What would you like?’ she asked.
‘You choose.’
‘Would you like me to spoon-feed you when it arrives, too?’
His grin was a study in mind-melting hotness and unashamed sexual arrogance. ‘You’re not the first to offer, querida. But I may just make you the first to succeed in that task.’
Rolling her eyes, she ordered two steaks with a green salad for them. Then, on impulse, she ordered a Côte du Rhone.
The wine wouldn’t exactly lay him flat but it might let him relax enough to get a good night’s sleep, especially since he refused to take any medication.
After she’d placed the order, she set the phone down and approached the seating area.
Rafael patted the space beside him.
Very deliberately, and sensibly, she thought, she chose the seat furthest from him and ignored his low mocking laugh.
‘So, care to tell me what happened today?’
He stilled, then his eyes grew hooded. ‘First day back on the job. Everyone was clamouring for the boss.’
Raven got the feeling it was a little bit more than that but she wisely kept it to herself. ‘What are the races in aid of this year?’ she asked, changing the subject.
He tensed further, wrong-footing her assumption that this was a safe subject.
For the longest time, she thought he wouldn’t answer. ‘XPM started a foundation five years ago for the victims of road accidents and their families. But we soon realised that giving away money doesn’t really help. Educating about safety was a better route to go. So we’ve extended the programme to testing road and vehicle safety, with special concentration on young drivers.’
‘Was...was it because of what happened with your father?’
His eyes darkened. ‘Surprisingly, no. It was because a boy racer wiped out a family of six because he wasn’t aware of how powerful the machine underneath him really was. I knew exactly how powerful the car I drove was so my transgression didn’t come from ignorance.’
‘Where did it come from?’
‘Arrogance. Pride. I owned the world and could do as I pleased, including ignoring signs of danger.’ His face remained impassive, this slightly self-loathing playboy who wore his faults freely on his chest and dared the world to judge him. His phone rang just then. He checke
d the screen, tensed and pressed the off button. ‘Speak of the devil and he appears,’ he murmured. His voice was low and pensive with an unmistakable thread of pain.
Raven frowned. ‘That was your father?’
‘Sí,’ he replied simply.
‘And you didn’t answer.’
The eyes he raised to her were dark and stormy. ‘I didn’t want to interrupt our stimulating conversation. You were saying...?’
She searched her memory banks and tried to pull together the threads of what they’d been talking about. ‘You used the past tense when you said you owned the world? You no longer think that?’
‘World domination is overrated. Mo’ power mo’ problems.’ Although he smiled, the tortured pain remained.
‘Is that why you won’t forgive yourself? Because you think you should’ve known better.’
‘My, my, is it Psychology 101?’
She pressed her lips together. ‘It is, isn’t it?’
‘If I said yes, would you make it all better?’
‘If you said yes you would feel better all on your own.’ The doorbell rang and she looked towards the door. ‘Think about that while I serve our feast.’
The emotions raging within him didn’t disappear from his eyes as she went to the door to let the waiter in.
By unspoken agreement they stuck to safer subjects as they ate—once again, Rafael taking her refusal to feed him with equanimity.
When she refused a second glass of wine, he set the bottle down and twirled his glass, his gaze focused on the contents.
‘So where is this island of yours that Marco and Sasha have gone to?’
‘There are a string of islands near Great Exuma. We own one of them.’
‘Wow, what does it feel like to own your own island?’
‘Much like it feels to own a car, or a handbag, or a pen. They’re all just possessions.’
‘Possessions most people spend their lives dreaming about.’
‘Are you one of those people? Do you dream of finding a man to take you from your everyday drudgery to a life filled with luxury?’
‘First of all, I don’t consider what I do drudgery. Secondly, while I think dreams are worth having, I set more store by the hard work that propels the achievement of that dream.’
