(Rest)
So, yeah, I said a light touch, little bro. Throw thuh cards light. Like uh whisper.
Booth
Like Graces skin.
Lincoln
Like Graces skin.
Booth
What time is it?
Lincoln holds up his watch. Booth takes a look.
Booth
Bitch. Bitch! She said she was gonna show up around 8. 8-a-fucking-clock.
Lincoln
Maybe she meant 8 a.m.
Booth
Yeah. She gonna come all up in my place talking bout how she love me. How she cant stop thinking bout me. Nother mans shit up in her nother mans thing in her nother mans dick on her breath.
Lincoln
Maybe something happened to her.
Booth
Something happened to her all right. She trying to make a chump outa me. I aint her chump. I aint nobodys chump.
Lincoln
Sit. I’ll go to the payphone on the corner. I’ll—
Booth
Thuh world puts its foot in yr face and you dont move. You tell thuh world tuh keep on stepping. But Im my own man, Link. I aint you.
Booth goes out, slamming the door behind him.
Lincoln
You got that right.
After a moment Lincoln picks up the cards.
He moves them around fast, faster, faster.
Scene Six
Thursday night.
The room looks empty, as if neither brother is home.
Lincoln comes in.
Hes high on liquor. He strides in, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Lincoln
Taaadaaaa!
(Rest)
(Rest)
Taadaa, motherfucker. Taadaa!
(Rest)
Booth—uh, 3-Card—you here? Nope. Good. Just as well.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
He pulls an enormous wad of money from his pocket. He counts it, slowly and luxuriously, arranging and smoothing the bills and sounding the amounts under his breath.
He neatly rolls up the money, secures it with a rubber band and puts it back in his pocket. He relaxes in his chair.
Then he takes the money out again, counting it all over again, but this time quickly, with the touch of an expert hustler.
Lincoln
You didnt go back, Link, you got back, you got it back you got yr shit back in thuh saddle, man, you got back in business. Walking in Luckys and you seen how they was looking at you? Lucky starts pouring for you when you walk in. And the women. You see how they was looking at you? Bought drinks for everybody. Bought drinks for Lucky. Bought drinks for Luckys damn dog. Shit. And thuh women be hanging on me and purring. And I be feeling that old call of thuh wild calling. I got more phone numbers in my pockets between thuh time I walked out that door and thuh time I walked back in than I got in my whole life. Cause my shit is back. And back better than it was when it left too. Shoot. Who thuh man? Link. Thats right. Purrrrring all up on me and letting me touch them and promise them shit. 3 of them sweethearts in thuh restroom on my dick all at once and I was there my shit was there. And Cookie just went out of my mind which is cool which is very cool. 3 of them. Fighting over it. Shit. Cause they knew I’d been throwing thuh cards. Theyd seen me on thuh corner with thuh old crew or if they aint seed me with they own eyes theyd heard word. Links thuh stink! Theyd heard word and they seed uh sad face on some poor sucker or a tear in thuh eye of some stupid fucking tourist and they figured it was me whod just took thuh suckers last dime, it was me who had all thuh suckers loot. They knew. They knew.
Booth appears in the room. He was standing behind the screen, unseen all this time.
He goes to the door, soundlessly, just stands there.
Lincoln
And they was all in Luckys. Shit. And they was waiting for me to come in from my last throw. Cant take too many fools in one day, its bad luck, Link, so they was all waiting in there for me to come in thuh door and let thuh liquor start flowing and thuh music start going and let thuh boys who dont have thuh balls to get nothing but a regular job and uh weekly paycheck, let them crowd around and get in somehow on thuh excitement, and make way for thuh ladies, so they can run they hands on my clothes and feel thuh magic and imagine thuh man, with plenty to go around, living and breathing underneath.
(Rest)
They all thought I was down and out! They all thought I was some NoCount HasBeen LostCause motherfucker. But I got my shit back. Thats right. They stepped on me and kept right on stepping. Not no more. Who thuh man?! Goddamnit, who thuh—
Booth closes the door.
Lincoln
Booth
(Rest)
Lincoln
Another evening to remember, huh?
Booth
(Rest) Uh—yeah, man, yeah. Thats right, thats right.
Lincoln
Had me a memorable evening myself.
Booth
I got news.
(Rest)
What you been up to?
Lincoln
Yr news first.
Booth
Its good.
Lincoln
Yeah?
Booth
Yeah.
Lincoln
Go head then.
Booth
(Rest)
Grace got down on her knees. Down on her knees, man. Asked me tuh marry her.
Lincoln
Shit.
Booth
Amazing Grace!
Lincoln
Lucky you, man.
Booth
And guess where she was, I mean, while I was here waiting for her. She was over at her house watching tv. I’d told her come over Thursday and I got it all wrong and was thinking I said Wednesday and here I was sitting waiting my ass off and all she was doing was over at her house just watching tv.
Lincoln
Howboutthat.
Booth
She wants to get married right away. Shes tired of waiting. Feels her clock ticking and shit. Wants to have my baby. But dont look so glum man, we gonna have a boy and we gonna name it after you.
Lincoln
Thats great, man. Thats really great.
Booth
Lincoln
Booth
Whats yr news?
Lincoln
(Rest)
Nothing.
Booth
Mines good news, huh?
Lincoln
Yeah. Real good news, bro.
Booth
Bad news is—well, shes real set on us living together. And she always did like this place.
(Rest)
Yr gonna have to leave. Sorry.
Lincoln
No sweat.
Booth
This was only a temporary situation anyhow.
Lincoln
No sweat man. You got a new life opening up for you, no sweat. Graces moving in today? I can leave right now.
Booth
I dont mean to put you out.
Lincoln
No sweat. I’ll just pack up.
Lincoln rummages around finding a suitcase and begins to pack his things.
Booth
Just like that, huh? “No sweat”?! Yesterday you lost yr damn job. You dont got no cash. You dont got no friends, no nothing, but you clearing out just like that and its “no sweat”?!
Lincoln
Youve been real generous and you and Grace need me gone and its time I found my own place.
Booth
No sweat.
Lincoln
No sweat.
(Rest)
K. I’ll spill it. I got another job, so getting my own place aint gonna be so bad.
Booth
You got a new job! Doing what?
Lincoln
Security guard.
Booth
(Rest)
Security guard. Howaboutthat.
Lincoln continues packing the few things he has.
He picks up a whiskey bottle.
Booth
Go head, take thuh med-sin, bro. You gonna need it more than me. I got, you know, I got my love to keep me warm and shit.
Lincoln
You gonna have to get some kind of work, or are you gonna let Grace support you?
Booth
I got plans.
Lincoln
She might want you now but she wont want you for long if you dont get some kind of job. Shes a smart chick. And she cares about you. But she aint gonna let you treat her like some pack mule while shes out working her ass off and yr laying up in here scheming and dreaming to cover up thuh fact that you dont got no skills.
Booth
Grace is very cool with who I am and where Im at, thank you.
Lincoln
It was just some advice. But, hey, yr doing great just like yr doing.
Lincoln
Booth
Lincoln
Booth
Booth
When Pops left he didnt take nothing with him. I always thought that was fucked-up.
Lincoln
He was a drunk. Everything he did was always half regular and half fucked-up.
Booth
Whyd he leave his clothes though? Even drunks gotta wear clothes.
Lincoln
Whyd he leave his clothes whyd he leave us? He was uh drunk, bro. He—whatever, right? I mean, you aint gonna figure it out by thinking about it. Just call it one of thuh great unsolved mysteries of existence.
Booth
Moms had a man on thuh side.
Lincoln
Yeah? Pops had side shit going on too. More than one.
He would take me with him when he went to visit them. Yeah.
(Rest)
Sometimes he’d let me meet the ladies. They was all very nice. Very polite. Most of them real pretty. Sometimes he’d let me watch. Most of thuh time I was just outside on thuh porch or in thuh lobby or in thuh car waiting for him but sometimes he’d let me watch.
Booth
What was it like?
Lincoln
Nothing. It wasnt like nothing. He made it seem like it was this big deal this great thing he was letting me witness but it wasnt like nothing.
(Rest)
One of his ladies liked me, so I would do her after he’d done her. On thuh sly though. He’d be laying there, spent and sleeping and snoring and her and me would be sneaking it.
Booth
Shit.
Lincoln
It was alright.
Booth
Lincoln
Lincoln takes his crumpled Abe Lincoln getup from the closet. Isnt sure what to do with it.
Booth
Im gonna miss you—coming home in that getup. I dont even got a picture of you in it for the album.
Lincoln
(Rest) Hell, I’ll put it on. Get thuh camera get thuh camera.
Booth
Yeah?
Lincoln
What thuh fuck, right?
Booth
Yeah, what thuh fuck.
Booth scrambles around the apartment and finds the camera.
Lincoln quickly puts on the getup, including 2 thin smears of white pancake makeup, more like war paint than whiteface.
Lincoln
They didnt fire me cause I wasnt no good. They fired me cause they was cutting back. Me getting dismissed didnt have no reflection on my performance. And I was a damn good Honest Abe considering.
Booth
Yeah. You look great man, really great. Fix yr hat. Get in thuh light. Smile.
Lincoln
Lincoln didnt never smile.
Booth
Sure he smiled.
Lincoln
No he didnt, man, you seen thuh pictures of him. In all his pictures he was real serious.
Booth
You got a new job, yr having a good day, right?
Lincoln
Yeah.
Booth
So smile.
Lincoln
Snapshots gonna look pretty stupid with me—
Booth takes a picture.
Booth
Thisll look great in thuh album.
Lincoln
Lets take one together, you and me.
Booth
No thanks. Save the film for the wedding.
Lincoln
This wasnt a bad job. I just outgrew it. I could put in a word for you down there, maybe when business picks up again theyd hire you.
Booth
No thanks. That shit aint for me. I aint into pretending Im someone else all day.
Lincoln
I was just sitting there in thuh getup. I wasnt pretending nothing.
Booth
What was going on in yr head?
Lincoln
I would make up songs and shit.
Booth
And think about women.
Lincoln
Sometimes.
Booth
Cookie.
Lincoln
Sometimes.
Booth
And how she came over here one night looking for you.
Lincoln
I was at Luckys.
Booth
She didnt know that.
Lincoln
I was drinking.
Booth
All she knew was you couldnt get it up. You couldnt get it up with her so in her head you was tired of her and had gone out to screw somebody new and this time maybe werent never coming back.
(Rest)
She had me pour her a drink or 2. I didnt want to. She wanted to get back at you by having some fun of her own and when I told her to go out and have it, she said she wanted to have her fun right here. With me.
(Rest)
And then, just like that, she changed her mind.
(Rest)
But she’d hooked me. That bad part of me that I fight down everyday . You beat yrs down and it stays there dead but mine keeps coming up for another round. And the bad part of me took her clothing off and carried her into thuh bed and had her, Link, yr Cookie. It wasnt just thuh bad part of me it was all of me, man, I had her. Yr damn wife. Right in that bed.
Lincoln
I used to think about her all thuh time but I dont think about her no more.
Booth
I told her if she dumped you I’d marry her but I changed my mind.
Lincoln
I dont think about her no more.
Booth
You dont go back.
Lincoln
Nope.
Booth
Cause you cant. No matter what you do you cant get back to being who you was. Best you can do is just pretend to be yr old self.
Lincoln
Yr outa yr mind.
Booth
Least Im still me!
Lincoln
Least I work. You never did like to work. You better come up with some kinda way to bring home the bacon or Gracell drop you like a hot rock.
Booth
I got plans!
Lincoln
Yeah, you gonna throw thuh cards, right?
Booth
Thats right!
Lincoln
You a double left-handed motherfucker who dont stand a chance in all get out out there throwing no cards.
Booth
Topdog / Underdog Page 7
