“I wanted to be sure you were back on your feet. This just seemed safer.”
“Why?” My heart was racing, and I was truly afraid.
“Read it. Unless you don’t want to.”
Of course, I had to. Raoul had left something for me, something, perhaps, that he’d wanted to say to me. I stared at the letter warily but accepted it from Arys’s outstretched hand.
My hands shook, and I fumbled to slip the lined paper from the envelope. As I unfolded it, a battle waged between my head and my heart. To open or not to open.
The letter was recent, dated the same day as our last real discussion. As I began to read, everything in me gradually came undone.
Alexa,
A part of me prays that you never learn of this while I live, but I fear my time will be cut short, and I cannot go to my grave with this haunting me.
I have always loved you and regard you with more respect than you will ever believe. I know that you feel little for me, and for that, I am both saddened and relieved.
After Naomi’s death, I swore never to love again. Love had become a plague to me, one that withered everything it touched. But then, I met your mother, and I loved her at first sight.
Trapped in an unhappy marriage, she came to me for the comfort and attention your father no longer gave. She grew to love me, too. Upon discovering this, your father became desperate to save their marriage. I did all that I could to hold on to her, but her vows and family came first. She soon told me it was over. I would have done anything for her. She meant so much to me, and I only wish I could have walked away and allowed her to be happy like she so deserved.
Instead, I gave in to my weakness, the possessive nature of the wolf inside. The bitter taste of rejection brought back terrible memories of Naomi, and with it, all of the pain and rage that I’d suppressed for so many years. I flew into a jealous rage and committed the most horrendous act of my existence.
After all this time, I still cannot believe you do not recognize me, the monster behind my eyes. I murdered your family and made you a werewolf. Words won’t express my regret. I never imagined that I could take the life of someone I so loved.
You may hate me, but I assure you, I have hated myself more than you can imagine. I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done.
I need you to know that I would beg your forgiveness, if I thought it would earn me even a little. There is nothing I can do. I know this.
I have altered my will to leave you everything except a small trust fund set aside for Zoey, should she ever accept it. I’m sorry, Alexa, because I know I am your worst nightmare come true.
I never deserved your loyalty.
Love Sincerely,
Raoul
It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be. No, not Raoul. Of all of the werewolves in the world, please God, not him!
When I collapsed against Arys, I was overwhelmed with anger, pain and shock. I sobbed but failed to identify the rage-filled shrieks as mine. My fangs and claws appeared instantly, and I scratched at the floor, pulling uselessly to break free of Arys’s strong embrace. Snarls and growls became part of my cries as I screamed in a wordless wail.
I lost all sense of reality as I reacted to everything that I’d just learned. I wanted to kill, but my victim was already dead, which fueled my agony in the worst of ways.
Raoul should have bared his throat for me. I should have torn through his hot, living flesh in search of retribution. I felt hate in a whole new way, and I knew that I’d never truly hated before.
The power between Arys and I rose in a sudden storm, fueled by my rage. He’d wanted me here to keep me from harming myself or someone else. I so badly wanted to. At home, it would have gone very horribly wrong. I wanted to become absolute destruction.
I fought against Arys, but he held tight. I lashed out with a good right hook, and we both stopped grappling and stared at one another. Blood welled up from a cut on his lip, and I felt both shame and excitement.
“Arys, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to control this.”
My words were inaudible to me, but he nodded in understanding. “Go ahead and let it out. I’m here.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I took a long shuddery breath before licking the blood from his lip. The tiny drop shifted my frustration and pain into another outlet.
I tore his t-shirt using clawed fingers. I couldn’t stop there once his well muscled chest was bare before me. The urge to hunt, to kill, drove me as I took him down like prey, naked beneath me.
Our lovemaking was anything but loving. It was rough and raw. I released all of the pain that would never truly go away. I couldn’t shake the thought of Raoul taking my mother’s love and life. I shook with the need to tear him apart myself.
At some point, I sobbed again, and Arys accepted the angry energy admirably. I’d never felt so vulnerable, and yet I knew this was safer, here with my dark vampire. He readily accepted the tornado of my emotions and the physical assault that I launched. Shaz couldn’t witness this side of me. The very thought was frightening.
The energy that we created was stronger than before but was also somehow easier to control and direct back to the natural elements. Not a single thing went awry. Talk about progress.
For hours after the sun rose, we lay together in his giant, fluffy bed. The TV on the antique bureau was on low. I stalled, unwilling to go home because that meant showing the letter to Kylarai and making everything real all over again. This was something that I had to share with those close to me. Otherwise, it was going to eat me alive.
When I finally did leave Arys’s, I hit the drive-thru for coffee before heading to the little park just off the highway. I loved that park, with its full bridge over the pond and the fountain in the middle.
I walked around the large pond to the bridge. People sat near the playground or went in and out of the tourist office, but the bridge was all mine. I sat down so that my legs hung over the side with my arms crossed against the railing.
I read that damn letter over and over, feeling something different every time. I briefly toyed with the idea of letting it flutter from my hands to the water below.
I cursed aloud, a vent that had nothing to do with vampires or werewolves and everything to do with human nature. I ranted and raved my confusion and dismay to Raoul as if he could hear me because I feared that I’d lose my mind if I didn’t let it out.
In my time on the bridge, staring out over the park with my half-consumed coffee, I gave voice to the betrayal and disappointment inside, but no forgiveness. That mercy escaped me. I wept hot, salty tears that carried no trace of blood, just the pure cleansing release of my sorrow. I could not shake the insane anger I felt over the fact that Raoul was dead and, with him, the final confrontation I desired.
The conversation with Kylarai was easier than I’d anticipated. I handed her the letter and watched her grey eyes grow misty. After a long silence, she choked out, “Are you ok?”
I shook my head no, because I wasn’t, but forced a bitter smile anyway.
“Oh, honey.” Her arms went around me, and I allowed myself to soak up her sisterly affection. I didn’t realize how bad I’d been craving the comfort of pack, of family.
Kylarai and Shaz had been my family for several years, but now they felt like so much more. The knowledge of why my mother died did nothing to make me miss her less, though it did bring everything full circle by answering the question that I’d carried for years.
The fact that Veryl knew all of this wasn’t lost on me. I debated on whether or not to call him. As soon as the sun fell, I dialed his personal number. With the pain so fresh, I had to call.
“So, he told you.” Veryl didn’t sound in the least bit surprised. “He had said that he planned to.”
I bit my lip so that I wouldn’t say anything to him that I’d regret. “Veryl, I need to know more about Raoul. You’ve known he was the one that attacked me all this time. Why not tell me?”
He took
a moment before answering, and I knew he was weighing his answers. “Alexa, there is much that I must keep quiet for a reason. I’m sure you understand. However, in this case, I worried about your well-being.”
The wheels turned in my brain as I tried to put it all together. “My well-being? How long have you known about me? I’m guessing it’s been much longer than the last five years I’ve worked for you.”
“Of course. Raoul atoned for what he’d done by taking you into his small town pack. He was to keep you safe as you developed into womanhood.”
And, as my abilities developed. I could almost hear the unspoken words that he wasn’t saying.
“You knew I could work energy.”
“Everyone can work with energy if they choose, Alexa. You were born conducting it, natural. That ability in a werewolf is priceless, of course I was interested in you.” His firm tone held no placation. He remained the practical businessman.
I felt burned that he had kept me in the dark, ultimately for his own purpose. Though Raoul hadn’t been the ideal role model, Veryl had ensured that I’d been safe through my first difficult years as a Were. None of this was really Veryl’s fault. It was Raoul’s.
“Can I ask you why you didn’t just kill him after he murdered my family?” My hands were sweaty as I tightened my grip on the phone.
“Those decisions are never the same for each situation. It was an isolated incident. And like I said, he and I struck a deal.”
Business, like everything, my fate was just business with Veryl. Did that vampire ever make decisions based on emotion or instinct? Was he always straight practicality?
“A deal? He killed my family in a fit of rage and almost killed me as well.” Bitterness was hard in my voice, but I knew he wouldn’t react to it.
“He didn’t… and now, he’s dead.” A short pause as he spoke quickly to someone in the background. “What do you want to hear, Alexa? I am sorry for the loss of your family, but I made the choice that I felt best at the time.”
I sighed. There was no point in taking out my undying resentment for Raoul on Veryl. That wouldn’t earn me anything. I couldn’t blame Veryl for treating it like he would any other situation. He wasn’t personally involved.
“Nothing. I’m just having a hard time handling this.” There, I was honest. I couldn’t see any reason not to be. “I think I need a few days to myself before I’ll be any good to you.”
“Take as much time as you need. And please, let me help with any expenses involved with this whole situation.”
I thanked him for his offer and said that I’d see him next week. After hanging up the phone, I sat on the edge of my bed and hung my head in my hands. I probably would have cried if I’d had the tears left to do so.
As it was, all I wanted to do was spend time alone in my room. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d been all alone with nothing but my thoughts and quiet contemplation. Unfortunately, life altering news had brought me to this moment of solitude.
How in the world was I going to come out the other side of this? I felt trapped in the middle of a problem with no solution. My solution had died with Raoul.
Epilogue
Life passed one day at a time. I struggled to accept the truth about my past. It was hard to move on. I’d gone from a delusional teenager with hearts in my eyes to a mid-twenties power hungry wolf with a new appreciation for the dangers of love.
Arys and I continued to discover the delicate balance of our bond. As trying as it may be, it isn’t without benefits. After more than three centuries, he sees the sun through my eyes. While we have managed to control our conjoined power, the effort remained a challenge, to say the least.
Compared to Arys and me, Shaz hadn’t adjusted any better to the link, but he accepted that it isn’t going away. My heart belonged to Shaz like all of me that is wolf, but the root of my own personal power longed for Arys as if we’d always been a part of the same flame. It was complicated. The frequent dreams about Raoul didn’t help the confusion.
After postponing our date night for almost two weeks, Shaz and I went out for the classic dinner and a movie. It was amazing how something as mundane as a real date could mean so much to me.
We asked Kylarai to join us for a run, but she just smiled and said that she’d agreed to help Kale nail a target. I’d asked her if “nail a target” was code for anything and received a nice open handed slap on the arm. A blade between the ribs hadn’t been so bad for Kylarai.
Outside, in the dark of night, I saw a black wolf framed by trees in the field. A sliver of moonlight cast a soothing glow, and I was sure my keen eyes were not playing tricks on me. When I blinked, the ghostly wolf was gone.
I sensed Shaz’s welcome approach and turned to admire his form as he stripped. Upon reading the letter from Raoul, he had responded with a fury to match my own. I felt amused that he, too, wished Raoul was still alive to take the beating that he deserved. Slowly I would learn to live with Raoul’s confession. It was a betrayal I never expected to get over.
I gently scraped my fingernails along Shaz’s firm shoulders, down his chest to his navel. He shivered in response, and I licked my lips invitingly.
With the most delicate touch, he traced the line of my jaw before nibbling ever so softly on my lower lip. His white blond hair fell across my nose, and I giggled in that girlish way that I so despise. Naked with him felt so right.
“Before or after?” His whisper tickled the inside of my ear so that I had to rub the feeling away.
“After, otherwise you’ll say you’re too tired to run. Again.” I gave him a playful shove and turned away to embrace the change to wolf.
Before I could shift, his arms snaked around my waist. I gave a small squeal and fought back by reaching behind me to the ticklish spot in his side that made him come undone. He released me immediately, and I turned to continue my assault with both hands.
“Alexa!” He tried to sound mad, but it didn’t come out that way. “Ok, ok, have it your way.” The desperation that comes from being tickled made his voice high on the last two words, and he grimaced.
Unable to resist such a cute expression, I pulled him close for a heart melting lip lock that I knew would get him panting. He tasted of mint and smelled of wolf.
“You little tease,” he called as I walked toward the field beyond the back gate. “I can’t wait to sink my teeth into you.”
I paused long enough to tap my bare bottom in invitation. He answered with a growl that added a spring to my step.
I ran and leaped, arching my body, gracefully becoming wolf in midair. Though it may have had the finesse of Hollywood graphics, it took Shaz and I almost three years to perfect the move. I couldn’t count the number of naked spills in the dirt that we’d both taken.
As I’d anticipated, Shaz was only a few seconds behind me. His paws kicked up dirt as he scrambled to catch up, and I poured on the speed as we raced to our tree.
I knew I had to go forward regardless of mistakes and lessons learned the hard way. Though life would be a lot simpler without the drama, power, and bloodshed, I have a sneaking suspicion that’s not about to end anytime soon.
The Wicked Kiss
Alexa O’Brien Huntress Book Two
By Trina M. Lee
The Wicked Kiss
Copyright 2009 by Trina M. Lee
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.
Manufactured in the United States of America
Editor
B. Leigh Hogan
Cover Artist
Michael Hart
Published by
Dark Mountain Books
This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues in this book are of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living o
r dead, is completely coincidental.
Chapter One
I stared at the creepy nightclub across the street. The Wicked Kiss isn’t the type of place I especially enjoy walking into. Inside, you feel as if you’ve just become the latest tasty item on the menu. Being a werewolf made it no different than if I’d been human. I was food in this place. The vampire bar may have been fascinating to some, like the many donors who risk it nightly, but to me, it’s just plain scary.
I had only been inside the club once, years ago, and I’d heard they had renovated the place since. Probably so they could add in some secret passageways or hidden torture rooms. Just a guess.
Trying to calm the nervous butterflies in my stomach, I gave my hair and makeup a final and unnecessary check. My smoky black eyeliner was still perfectly framing my dark brown eyes. I’d worn bold red lipstick, which wasn’t the usual for me. Considering the location, I’d planned on blending in the best I could. I had to admit to myself that I looked pretty hot.
I ran my fingers through my long hair and took a deep breath. The chunks of dyed gold that I’d had blended into my light, ash blonde hair had faded out over the past few months. Always one to have fun with color, I’d replaced it with an amazing fire engine red. The alternating layers of blonde and red that framed my face did wonders to play up my eyes.
Now that I was at The Wicked Kiss, I really didn’t want to go in. And, I never would have even considered it if Kale hadn’t been inside. He’d been missing for three days, and he wouldn’t likely be anywhere else for that length of time. Because he was my colleague and my friend, I was willing to withstand some discomfort. That, and because if I didn’t go in there and drag him out, Kylarai would, which couldn’t possibly go over well.
Trina M. Lee Page 28
