Trina M. Lee

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  Our joined hands provided the link I needed. I’d hurt Harley before. I could have killed him if Arys hadn’t stopped me. He trusted me, too. The knowledge was sobering. Focusing on our physical connection, I pushed power into him with the intent to hurt, just enough juice to warn him that I wasn’t a willing victim. I wasn’t there to play.

  He reacted by jerking me hard against him so that I stumbled. My legs were like jelly. I was surprised that they held me at all. The sharp points of his teeth pressed into my flesh, and I waited for that second when they would plunge through the surface. With a groan, Harley gave me a push, releasing me entirely.

  “Go on, Alexa. Get out of here now before I do something you’ll regret later.” His eyes were wild and solid black. “Next time you come, don’t make the same mistake. You weaken yourself and affect the will of every metaphysical being around you by doing so. And God, how I ache to hurt you right now.”

  Harley was as unpredictable as a rabid dog. I knew that, so I ignored the wicked voice in my head that wanted to dare him to try to hurt me. His power was so much like Arys’s and my own, yet it wasn’t. His wasn’t a part of me. We weren’t bound. It was like the slightest taste of forbidden candy. How could I not want more?

  Taunting him into losing control was the last thing my rational mind wanted. The rest of me could just shut up and suffer. I had learned something in my brief visit. My own physical state was directly tied to the metaphysical. And, it could affect others. That could be useful if I could manipulate it at will. It was something I certainly planned to keep in mind.

  Harley stepped away from the door, crossing to the farthest side of the room. I hadn’t been aware of the extent of the effect I was having on him. I should have though. Kale’s hungry, needy power called the same way to me. It was dreadfully hard to resist.

  I refused to think of anything else but putting one foot in front of the other. The sound of the blood pulsing through me was loud in my ears. I threw my energy into blocking out the tantalizing energy coming from each closed door that I passed. Maybe doing this in a vampire bar was a bad idea. Then again, maybe The Kiss was the perfect place to gain the stronghold I needed.

  No sooner had I stepped outside into the crisp night air than I felt the cool presence I’d know anywhere. I fought the urge to glance around. I kept moving, each step bringing me closer to my car.

  There he was, leaning against my Charger, arms crossed and absolute fury all over his perfect face. Arys looked up expectantly at my approach. His eyes brimmed with rage and something else … pain. I was speechless when he said, “I hope it was worth it.”

  Chapter Eight

  “Arys, I-,”

  “Don’t try to explain this away! You knew how I felt about you coming here, and you didn’t give a damn.” He shoved away from the car so that he stood close enough to touch. I had to crane my neck to look up at him. “I never thought that you were this selfish.”

  My mouth dropped open, and my temper began to simmer. I was many things, and selfish may be one of them at times. But, who the hell was he to talk?

  “That’s not fair,” I replied, struggling to keep my voice calm. If we both got yelling, it would get out of control fast. “I came to you, Arys! I told you what I needed. I’m trying to find a way to live with myself, with your power running around inside me, trying to control everything I feel and do. Why can’t you understand that?”

  “And why can’t you understand why just the thought of you being here with him terrifies me so much?” He shouted the words at me, and I took a step back. He didn’t like that, and he closed the space I’d made by grabbing my upper arms.

  Arys’s energy was pushed to the breaking point along with his temper. It scalded me both inside and out at his touch. My wolf went on full alert, and suddenly I was growling up at him with eyes blazing and fangs bared. Clawed fingers prevented me from forming fists to clock him one.

  “Maybe we don’t quite understand one another here, but losing it isn’t going to help.” I tried again for some kind of rationale despite my wolf’s territorial desire to claw his eyes out. “Can you just back off and calm down?”

  “No.” He shook his head vehemently. “Not until you abandon this dumb ass idea of consorting with Harley.”

  I was positively infuriated. Nobody had ever gotten away with speaking to me like this, except for Raoul. The thought made me livid. I tried to shake him off, but Arys held tight. It almost hurt.

  “I am not consorting with him! How the hell can you say that to me?”

  “I know him, Alexa! He doesn’t do anything without getting something in return. What did you promise him?” Arys’s voice dropped low with menace, instilling fear deep in me. “Sharing you with the wolf pup is one thing. I know he’s your other half. But, Harley is my past and my business. You don’t want to do this.”

  My body vibrated with the overwhelming power as our two individual energies combined the way it only could with Arys. That was not something I was prepared to deal with.

  “I’m not stupid enough to make promises to a fiend like him. Give me a little credit. All he wants is extra firepower if he gets himself in any trouble. I told him that I’m not doing anything I don’t agree with. Now could you calm the fuck down?”

  With my words came a flash of power that knocked Arys back a step, breaking his hold on me. I wasn’t so caught up in my defensive anger to miss the fact that I was immensely stronger with him than when we were apart.

  “It’s you,” I said, the words tumbling out as I sought to make sense of it. “I have more power and control when I’m with you. The power of the dead. Don’t you see? We have to deal with this together. We are part of each other now. There’s no changing that.”

  Arys made no move to touch me again. He stood there, staring at me with eyes that bore into my soul. “You’d like to though, wouldn’t you? Change that?”

  I didn’t understand his recent insecurity. I’d never seen that part of Arys. Human emotion wasn’t his forte. Weak ones were unheard of.

  “No, Arys.” I shook my head and took a step toward him. He took one back. That stung. “As hard as it is for you to hear, I’m in love with you. That’s something you can’t keep avoiding. Believe it already so we can deal with this shit and move on. I wouldn’t change anything between us.”

  His hard gaze didn’t waver. He wouldn’t budge. “I had no link to the human world before you. You touched a side of me that I didn’t know still existed. That is why you have to stay away from Harley. The thought of him even laying eyes on you is enough to make me want to tear his limbs off. The idea that you’re even willing to be in the same room with him, much less negotiate with him, kills me. He’s going to warp your mind. And, then you won’t be mine anymore.”

  Arys’s pain was sharp with negativity. It crawled around inside me until I was consumed with the pain he felt. I hadn’t known it was so strong. His fear of losing me was heavy within him. How could I not have known? This was more than territorial Arys being his vampire self. This was the man inside him struggling to come to terms with his feelings. Clearly, he hated it.

  I boldly took another step toward him, and this time he didn’t move away. “I will always be yours. Do not ever think otherwise. I am a part of you. Literally. You can’t just undo that. And even if I could, I wouldn’t.”

  I wanted to kiss him, but I was afraid he would push me away. My ego couldn’t take a blow like that. I stared into his amazing midnight eyes and searched for a sign, something that indicated that we were going to be ok. The sick sensation engulfing me felt like a warning, an assurance that this chaos wasn’t over.

  Arys was silent, and I waited, allowing him a moment to process his thoughts. Now more than ever, I was tempted to touch his mind, to get inside him. I didn’t.

  The silence was killing me. It was tough not to break it, to say anything just to be saying something. The sound of vehicles passing by on the street nearby and the occasional loud voice from a neighborhoo
d bar filled the quiet. Clenching his fists, Arys paced around the parking lot. At last, he stopped in front of me and spoke.

  “I just don’t understand how someone so strong and unrelenting can do an about face like this. You persecuted Raoul, your own pack Alpha, when you didn’t know for certain if he was a murderer or not. Now, just like that, you can walk back into The Wicked Kiss and expect to learn something from Harley. That is beyond fucked up.”

  I hated that he was right. Still, I didn’t entirely see it the same way that he did. “It’s not fair to bring up Raoul. That was completely different.”

  “Oh, because he’s your past?” Arys sneered. “Fancy that. It’s ok for you and not ok for me. Don’t be a hypocrite, Lex. It’s not like you. Don’t tell me that Harley’s getting to you already.”

  I let out a frustrated little shriek. It was getting more difficult to resist pulling my own hair out. “Ok, you win! Is that what you want to hear? I am wrong and you, all knowing vampire extraordinaire, are right.”

  “Goddamn it woman, why can’t you see the reality here? You heard Harley. He wants you for himself. Where do you think I fit into that?”

  I didn’t want to do this anymore. It was breaking me down. I didn’t do well with this kind of conflict. Give me something that I could kill, no problem. Put a man I loved raging in front of me, and I was all kinds of broken.

  “He’s nothing to me. You know that, Arys. Why are you so unwilling to give me the same understanding that you’re asking for?” I pleaded, feeling like I was split in two. I wanted to stop the argument by letting it go and leaving it alone, but the stubborn side of me couldn’t let him think he was one hundred percent right. I had valid feelings, too.

  “I forget that you’re so young. Naïve.” He emphasized the last word, and I knew it was just to enrage me. “You forget what we really are, Harley and I. You shouldn’t.”

  “Bullshit,” I spat the word at him. “Whatever you are, I am, too. Only I’m the one stuck in a living body, unable to grasp how it all works. Forget it.”

  I stalked away, headed for my car. He grabbed my arm and whirled me around before I could reach for the door handle. Every time his hands were on me, I was enveloped in the swirl of our combined power. I hungered for him, his blood and his pain, along with his pleasure. I couldn’t keep feeding the fire between us without leaping into the flames.

  Arys pulled me close, pressing his forehead to mine. “Do you forget that you almost killed him? Is that passion for his death dead inside you?”

  I shook my head from side to side, unable to speak for a moment as I choked on a sob. “You stopped me. You still love him, and you stopped me. So, don’t you dare do this to me.”

  I reached for him, my hands caressing his face. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, hot and potent. I blinked them back, unwilling to let them fall. When he kissed me, it was bruising and rough, leaving my lips swollen. I still hungered for more of him. Just having his hands on me was enough to undo my solid resolve.

  “So I did.” His words came out on a whisper. “If only I could turn back time.”

  “You wouldn’t have done it any other way, Arys, and you know it. You love us both, and it kills you because you can’t have us both.”

  “That’s not what this is about.” He pulled back before I could lose myself in him. Why was he doing this to me? It was beyond torturous. “I don’t want him. Those days are long over.”

  “I just need to know how to live with this, with what you do to me.” I reached for him, and he stepped away. Panic gripped me, and I felt like I’d be ill. “Arys?”

  Turning his back on me, he started to walk away. Then, I spotted his car across the parking lot, the Pontiac that he almost never drove. Was he just going to walk away from me after going to the trouble of confronting me here?

  He paused long enough to toss a parting comment over his shoulder. “Goodnight, Alexa. If I don’t leave now, I fear I’ll kill us both. You need to decide what is more important to you: your search for answers or my sanity.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I yelled the words with a new fury building. “You can’t twist this around so that it suits you. My opinion is valid, too, damn you!”

  He was halfway across the parking lot when he paused. A moment later a twenty-something male emerged from the shadows, chatting away on his cell phone. I could see what was coming before it happened, but I could do nothing to stop it.

  Arys sprang on the man like a wild cat on prey. I bit back a scream, watching in horror as he bit deeply. From where I stood, I saw the blood spray. I began to gasp for air, leaning against my car in an attempt to stay on my feet. The bloodlust had no problem overtaking me as I watched Arys kill an innocent man. As horrified as I was by it, the vision before me was stirring my dark side into a frenzy. I loved watching Arys in his element, regardless of the circumstances.

  Slowly, I sunk to the ground beside my car. My entire body shook with the need to taste the hot human blood that Arys had spilled. Yet, my heart was breaking because I knew I was witnessing an act that spoke louder than words. Arys was exhibiting his true feelings in the only way that he knew how, by showing them. And, it was entirely my fault.

  When the bloodless corpse lay forgotten in the middle of the parking lot, Arys didn’t so much as glance back at me. He got into the black Firebird and left as if it was just so easy. I didn’t cry, not then anyway. Numb and detached, I got into my car and drove robotically. Only when I sat alone in the parking lot of a small, seedy bar did I let the blood tears fall.

  * * * *

  The shot of straight whiskey burned its way down my throat. I slammed the shooter glass on the bar and motioned to the bartender for another. He didn’t say a word as he poured the honey brown liquid, but I could see the question in his eyes. I was wondering the same thing. What was a girl like me doing in a place like this?

  It was a small bar, not a nightclub in any way. The majority of the patrons were doing much the same as I was, drinking alone. I was the only woman in the place that didn’t work there, no big deal. As long as nobody bothered me, I couldn’t care less.

  I’d lost count after my fourth or fifth shot of whiskey. It wasn’t that I was drunk but that I just didn’t give a shit. Werewolves can hold more liquor than humans so drowning my sorrows could take a while. Last call was still a couple hours away, more than enough time.

  Alcohol is famous for numbing out, if only it would work. Rather than ease the ache of the blood hunger and the need to find Arys and slap him around, it only encouraged it. I knew he was out there killing and God only knew what else. I had only to focus on opening the mental door between us to know what he was really doing. Yeah, maybe after a few more rounds.

  Swallowing another satisfyingly strong whiskey shot, I jumped when my cell phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans. Talk about heart attack inducing. It was Kale. Shit! I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to call him to let him know I’d made it out of The Wicked Kiss in one piece.

  “Hello?” I answered, making my way to the ladies room to escape the loud country music.

  “So am I riding in to rescue you or have you decided to stay all night?” Kale didn’t bother with small talk, cutting right to the chase.

  “I left a while ago.” I debated on how much to tell him. Before I could censor myself, the truth poured out. “Arys was waiting for me outside. It wasn’t a pleasant experience.”

  There was a slight pause before Kale replied, “Are you alright? Have you been drinking?”

  “How can you tell?”

  “Because it sounds like you need to be cut off. Where are you?”

  I scowled, but since he couldn’t see it, it was a total waste. “I’m fine, Kale. Just having a few drinks to calm down. It was a nasty little argument. I’m trying to forget about it.”

  “Tell me,” he insisted. With a sigh, I gave him the address. “Stay put. I’m on my way.”

  After hanging up with Kale, I sent Shaz a quick
message to let him know I was fine and no longer with Harley. I’d tell him about Arys later.

  Returning to my stool at the bar, I ordered a few more shots and settled in to wait for Kale. I was dying to know what Arys was doing. Would he even allow me to access his thoughts? He could always shut me out. The real question was, did I want to access them? Yes. The curiosity was killing me.

  I downed the first of the three shots the bartender placed in front of me. I let my thoughts wander to Arys, focusing hard on him. I slipped into his mind with ease. It was momentarily disorienting. I blinked a few times and suddenly I was seeing through his eyes.

  I could taste the blood in his mouth as if it were my own. He’d definitely been killing. From what I could feel, he did not intend to stop yet. He was creeping along through the darkened side streets, stalking a prostitute. She was suspicious when he approached her but open to any opportunity to score some cash. He didn’t bother with the human banter. Ignoring her quoted hourly price, he reached for her.

  She gasped when he kissed her. I was stunned. It felt like icy cold hands grabbed a hold of my heart, seeking to wrench it from my chest. I was able to feel her lips, to taste a cigarette on her breath. Arys’s thoughts were on his actions and his intent, yet he was aware of my presence. I knew it.

  He made a show of kissing his way down her neck to the pulse that beat strong and steady. A rage like no other flooded me at the desire that thrummed through Arys. He was getting off on this. His victim didn’t fight. She was enraptured, totally mesmerized by him. I held my breath, waiting for him to bite her. I was mildly surprised to discover how badly I wanted him to.

  I was hungry for the kill, lured by the ease in which he went about it. Like it was all so simple. I lifted another shot glass to my lips, barely feeling the sting of the liquor. My emotions swirled around me like a tornado, growing and pulsing. When Arys bit hard into his victim, I felt it like it was my own fangs buried in her flesh.

 

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