Jill opened the door. Jill gave Katy’s limp body to Honey and climbed out of the SUV.
“What was it?” Jill asked.
“Crows,” Honey said. “They were trying to get into the SUV. You didn’t see them?”
“I saw my father, Perses,” Jill said.
“What does that mean?” Honey asked.
“Nothing good,” Mike said as he walked toward them from the back of the garden. “We need to talk to Delphie.”
“She’s in New York with Sissy,” Jill said.
Mike nodded. Without saying another word, he stalked back to his studio in the garage. Jill raised an eyebrow to him and turned to Honey.
“Let’s get her inside before something. . .” Jill nodded.
Honey took off wheeling. Clutching Katy to her, Jill jogged toward the Castle. Honey opened the door, and they got inside. Jill carried Katy upstairs and settled her into her bed. Rather than leave her alone, Jill lay down in bed with Katy. An hour or so later, Katy shifted in bed.
“Katy?” Jill asked.
“Mommy?” Katy asked.
Jill put her hands on either side of Katy’s head. The darkness was gone. She clutched Katy to her and wept.
~~~~~~~~
Tuesday evening — 7:05 p.m.
New York City, New York
“Will you share the rest?” Sandy asked.
Sissy’s eyes pleaded with Delphie. They were sitting next to Sissy’s hospital bed.
“We heard from Ivan the bare minimum of what happened at the gulag,” Sandy said. “I’d love to know how you put the whole thing together.”
“There isn’t any more to tell,” Delphie said. “I found Ivan, and Seth arranged for his retrieval. He had surgery and came to Denver.”
Delphie shrugged.
“It feels so. . .” Sandy said.
“Cold,” Sissy said in a croak. Sandy went to her bedside and gave her a few ice chips.
“We want romance, Delphie!” Abi said with a grin.
Sandy nodded.
“It is kind of cold,” Delphie said with a nod. “Give me a minute. Let’s see if I can find something that will pull it all together.”
No one dared to say a word while Delphie stared off into space. Finally, Delphie gave a nod.
“Let’s try this,” Delphie said.
~~~~~~~~
The bright Colorado sun shone through the window in a small kitchen. The marble floor, expensive cabinets, and granite counters indicated the kitchen was in a beautiful apartment or possibly a condo. A thin woman, wearing only a skimpy lace thong, moved into the kitchen. She leaned against the counter and took a drag on her cigarette. The sunlight and smoke created ribbons of white in the kitchen. An exaggerated cough came from somewhere in the kitchen. The women went to a small table and leaned over. She kissed someone whom the light and smoke had made invisible.
“I wish you wouldn’t smoke,” Ivan’s voice said.
“I know you do,” she said. She gave him a sarcastic smile. “I wish you would stop teaching that child, but do you?”
Trailing the cigarette, she turned away from him. She leaned against the wall near the entrance to the kitchen.
“Katia,” Ivan said.
“Kate,” the woman said between her teeth. “My name is Kate.”
“Your name is Katia,” Ivan said. While he remained at the dark table, they heard the amusement in his voice.
“I’m named after my stupid Russian grandmother,” Kate said. “She was Katia. I am Kate.”
“You are in a mood today,” Ivan said.
They heard the sound of folding a newspaper, and he got up from the table. He walked through the stream of sunlight and smoke to put his arms around her shoulders. He wore a dark T-shirt and his briefs. His bare tights were thick with muscles marred only by a pattern of grey scars.
“Are you nervous about your exam today?” Ivan asked.
“Where were you last night?” Kate asked.
“I was at the hospital last night,” Ivan said. “You know that. I woke you when I returned.”
“That’s right, you were at the hospital visiting that child,” Kate said. “The child you are obsessed with.”
“Kate,” Ivan said in even tones. “Sissy is very ill.”
“Oh whaa,” Kate said. “The little ballerina has an eating disorder. Big deal. Welcome to the club.”
Ivan deftly plucked the cigarette from Kate’s mouth. He went to the sink and put out the cigarette under a stream from the faucet. On his way back, he opened the window. The ribbons of smoke dispersed into a unified fog. When he neared her, she jumped on him. She wrapped her legs around him and he caught her. They kissed for a few minutes before he pulled back from her. He smiled, stroked her hair, and set her down. He poured himself a cup of coffee from a percolator and sat down in the dark corner. There was a sound of rustling newspaper. Kate stared in his direction
“Be obsessed with me,” Kate said in a low tone.
“What makes you think I am not?” Ivan asked.
“I know it,” Kate touched her heart. “You and the child. . . You don’t even notice it. But you light up every time she is around.”
They could almost hear Ivan scowl.
“She enters the room, and you. . .” Kate said. “You’re a different person. A happy person. A brighter, more beautiful person. You love her.”
“She is my student,” Ivan said in the same even tones. “I love my students.”
“But you don’t love me,” Kate said. “Is it because I am not your student?”
“Katia,” Ivan said.
“Kate!”
“What is this about?” Ivan asked. He got up from the table and walked to her. “We have a nice life. We live in this beautiful place. You go to school, and I work at the ballet. Someday, you will finish school, and I will still work at the ballet.”
Ivan grinned.
“Is there something missing in our life?” Ivan asked.
“No, but. . .”
“Are you not loved enough?” Ivan asked.
“No, but. . .”
“Is there something you want that you do not have?” Ivan asked.
“No, but. . .”
“What is this problem?” Ivan asked.
“I’ll finish school next term,” Kate said. She straightened her shoulders and stuck out her chin defiantly. “I want to get married, have children. . .”
“While you are in law school?” Ivan asked.
“No, but. . .”
“But what?” Ivan’s voice rose with frustration.
“Why do you love that child?” Kate asked.
“What?” Ivan asked.
“Why won’t you marry me?” Kate asked.
“Marry. . .” Ivan groaned. “Is that what this is about? Marriage?”
“You don’t love me,” Kate said.
“Kate. . .”
“You don’t,” Kate said. “Just say it.”
“I love our life,” Ivan said. “I love being with you. I love the way you laugh, and I love your wide-eyed innocence. I love this life with you.”
“But you do not love me,” Kate said.
“I. . .” Ivan sighed. “Since gulag, I feel nothing. . . for. . .”
“The gulag,” Kate sneered. “It’s like your mistress.”
Ivan raised his eyebrows in agreement.
“The problem is. . .” Kate said. Her voice became very sad. “You love the girl. You don’t even know it. The only person you love completely is ten years old.”
“I am no pervert,” Ivan said.
“This is what you have me for,” Kate said. “I’m the substitute until she is old enough for you to be with.”
“That’s not. . .” Ivan said.
“It is true,” Kate said. “I’ve known it for a long time. And trust me, I’ve enjoyed being the substitute.”
Kate raised an eyebrow. She looked him up and down.
“There’s a lot to enjoy,” Kate said.
&nbs
p; “But?” Ivan said with a sigh.
“But I’m applying to law schools,” Kate said. “I don’t expect to stay in Denver.”
“I see,” Ivan said.
“You could come with me,” Kate said.
“I have the ballet,” Ivan said.
“Yes, your other mistress,” Kate said. She gave a little shrug. “It’s okay, really. You’ve paid for school and all of this. You’re incredible in the sack. I’ll keep my clothes?”
“Of course,” Ivan said. “Whatever you’d like.”
“And law school?” Kate asked.
“You might need to find another,” Ivan said.
“Easy enough,” Kate smiled.
She turned in place and left the kitchen. Ivan watched her go. When she was gone, he gave a slow, sad shake of his head. He rubbed his eyes and went to sit down again.
~~~~~~~~
“That was Kate,” Sissy said. “They lived together for a while. She always smelled like cigarettes and perfume. I thought she tried too hard and thought too little.”
“There’s more,” Delphie said. “Can we. . .?”
“Sure,” Abi said.
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-five
Family care
Ivan was standing in costume and full makeup. His face was covered in a light sheen of moisture, and there were wet spots on his costume. He was slightly older than he had been in the last memory. He was turned away looking for someone.
“Sorry,” a woman dressed in matching costume and makeup. “I had to pee.”
Ivan nodded. He held out his arm, and she laid her forearm across the top of his. They went to stand at the edge of the stage, next to heavy curtains.
“I hate these things,” the woman said.
“Yes,” Ivan said.
“You won’t leave without me, will you?” the woman asked.
“It’s likely that you will leave without me,” Ivan smiled. “I love them so much.”
She looked up at him and saw her own reflection in his clear eye protection. Her eyes scanned his face. He winked, and she smiled.
“It was a real pleasure to dance with you tonight,” she said. “I’d heard of you, but. . .”
“I’m sorry your partner fell ill,” Ivan said.
“I’m not,” she said with a saucy smile.
“And now. . .” A booming voice came from the stage. Ivan nodded to the woman and they stepped onto the stage. “Please welcome the stars of our performance.”
The stage had been transformed into a dining area with round tables, white table cloths, and wealthy patrons.
“May I?” the ballet director asked.
Ivan smiled, and the ballet director steered his prima ballerina toward the wealthier patrons. Ivan stood in place for a moment.
“Ivan?”
He turned in the direction of a woman’s voice to see his ex-girlfriend, Katia. She was wearing a floor-length gown, with diamonds in her ears, around her right wrist, and her left ring finger. He held out his hands, and she took them. She leaned forward and, in the way he’d taught her, let him kiss her cheeks. Feeling movement, he looked up to see a young man standing behind her. The young man looked almost too comfortable in his tux; he gave Ivan a cocky grin.
“Kate,” Ivan said.
“Katia,” she corrected. “Justin, this is Ivan. You remember me talking about Ivan.”
“The aged danceur with the Denver Ballet?” The young man lifted his chin in a kind of nod. He lifted an edge of his mouth in a smile. “Aren’t you out of your league here?”
“I work for the Ballet Federation,” Ivan said. “I am on-call to fill in when a male danceur cannot perform.”
The young man looked Ivan up and down. Ivan had the distinct impression the look was more sexual in nature than to assess his capacity to dance. Ivan looked at Kate.
“This is Justin,” Kate said. “My fiancé.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ivan said.
He gave Kate a nod and turned to move away. She held onto his arm. He turned back to her. Unsure of what she wanted, he asked the first thing that came to mind.
“How is law school?” Ivan asked.
“I’m almost done,” Kate said.
“We’re waiting to get married until she’s finished,” Justin said. “Of course, she won’t practice. This law thing is just a phase.”
Ivan’s eyes flicked to Kate. He saw the same desperate striving in her eyes that he’d known when they were together. She gave him a slight smile that indicated that she was now striving for something big. He looked back at the young man.
“That’s right,” the young man said. He stood a little straighter but still wasn’t as tall as Ivan. “My family is one of the wealthiest in the country. She’ll use her legal skills to help with the family businesses.”
“How nice,” Ivan said. “If you will excuse me. . .”
Kate continued to hold onto his arm. When he looked at her this time, her eyes were a mask of sorrow.
“Justin, would you mind getting us a drink?” Kate asked.
“Of course,” the young man said. “Now, no funny business. I’ll just be over there.”
He touched Kate’s shoulder and moved away.
“You’re marrying him?” Ivan asked.
“Of course not,” Kate said. “He’s gay. I’m not going to spend my life shackled to some gay dude.”
Ivan smiled. Kate was no fool.
“You should have heard him,” Kate said in a low tone. “The entire performance he was talking about your ‘package.’ So gross. I’m sorry I ever told him about you.”
Ivan gave her an uncomfortable smile.
“How long have you been here?” Kate asked.
“A few years,” Ivan said.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Kate asked.
“You were pretty clear that you were done with me,” Ivan said.
“There’s done and then there’s done,” Kate said. She looked up at the uncomfortable smile on Ivan’s face. “What about your little ballerina? The one you were in love with?”
Ivan shook his head like he didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Sissy,” Kate said through her teeth. “I’m talking about Sissy.”
“She no longer dances ballet,” Ivan said with a note of finality.
“Oh.” Kate’s sarcastic smile fell. “I’m sorry. I know how much. . .”
The young man returned. He held out a drink for Kate, which she took.
“It’s wonderful to see you,” Ivan leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I must leave. I am accompanying the star of the show.”
The young man held out his hand to Ivan.
“A pleasure to meet you,” Ivan said.
As he moved away, he felt a tug. Kate had slipped him her phone number. He looked down at his hand. The young man had also given Ivan his phone number. Ivan stopped at the first trashcan and dropped the phone numbers inside. He found the ballerina deep in conversation. With her permission, he left the party.
He quickly changed out of his costume and wiped off his makeup. He took a taxi to a private Russian Bath, where he took a long sauna followed by a soak in the bath and a massage. A few hours later, he was back in his street clothing and into a cab. He stopped at a gorgeous apartment tower in Manhattan. He greeted the doorman and took the elevator upstairs. Once in his open loft apartment, he drank a protein smoothie and changed into a tank-top and exercise pants. The lights were dim, so he took off his eye protection. He went through an hour of Pilates stretches. He had just grabbed a towel and a cold bottle of water when there was a knock at the door. He checked the time — 2:55 a.m. Smiling, he went to open the door.
The door opened to a dark-haired woman with steel blue eyes accentuated by her doctor’s blue scrubs. Her name-tag said, “Dr. Nadia Kerminoff, Emergency Department.” She carried a small duffle bag over her shoulder. He squinted at the light in the hallway.
“I come bearing gifts,” she said in perfect Russian.
She held up a plastic bag with to-go containers inside. He smiled and stepped back to let her in. As she passed, she stretched up to kiss his lips. His hand caressed her behind and she came into the apartment.
“How was the Emergency Department, Nadia?” he asked in Russian.
“When?” she responded. “Today? Yesterday?”
She shook her head.
“I’m losing track of days,” she said.
“It’s been three,” he said with a smile.
“Three days,” she said. “Gone.”
She shook herself like a dog, and he smiled. He started taking containers out of the plastic bag. She sniffed him.
“Russian bath.”
She squinted at him. She turned away from him to get plates from the cabinet.
“How was the performance?” she asked in an overly casual tone.
“Good,” he said. “Don’t worry, doctor. The massage and sauna were merely preventative. I am in fine health.”
His voice was laced with innuendo, which made her smile.
“You are not a young man anymore,” she said.
“Yes, I am aware, doctor,” he said. He turned around and hugged her from behind. “Thank you for caring about me.”
She turned and looked at him. She hugged him tight.
“I worry about you,” she said in perfect American English.
“I know,” he said in his Russian-accented English. “I am grateful for your care.”
She smiled at him and carried the plates to a small dining room table. Lights from the building surrounding them glittered in the plate glass windows. The table seemed to hang in the air.
“Did you have to stay?” she asked.
“Yes,” Ivan said.
He brought the to-go boxes to the table and sat down. He started opening the boxes.
“Was it awful?” she asked as she filled her plate with sushi. “Sashimi’s there.”
“Yes,” Ivan said with a nod of thanks.
He opened the box and put some on his plate. He offered it to her. She shook her head and pointed at the sushi with an end of her chopsticks.
“I loved those things as a kid,” she said. “All the beautiful ballerinas standing right there. . .”
She put a piece of sushi roll in her mouth and looked at him. She smiled, and he returned her smile.
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