“I would do anything for her, Briar. You know that.” This is all a little much. I don’t even know how to deal with this. I could be a father? Katelynn could be my daughter?
“You’re the calling card guy, Dex. The guy who traveled all around the world, taking beautiful pictures, making millions of dollars and fucking random women every night. I’ve never once judged you for your decisions, but that’s not the kind of man you raise a child with. She needed a role model, someone to look up to.”
“But she could be mine!” I scream, slamming my hands down on the table, Briar jumps out of her seat and runs to the opposite corner of the kitchen. Seeing the fear in her eyes brings me back to center. I never want her to be frightened of me. I’d never hurt her.
Sitting down, my leg bouncing repeatedly underneath the table, Briar cautiously makes her way back to her seat and joins me again. Reaching across the table, she takes my hand in hers, squeezing them gently, trying to comfort me.
“Briar, I have done so many things in my life that I’m not proud of, so many things I wish I could take back, but can’t. If I had known about Katelynn, I can’t say I would have done the right thing. I was stupid. Only in the last two months have I figured out who I really am. I like this version of me.”
“Dex, I’ve liked all the versions of you.”
“I know, that’s why we’ve been friends forever,” I joke, then quickly turn the conversation serious. “I’ve always been good enough to be your man whore friend, but I want more. I don’t need to know if Katelynn is my daughter, because she’s been mine since the moment Erik died. I want to be good enough to be yours.”
Staring at me, she opens her mouth to speak, quickly shutting it again. I flip my hands over to hold hers, instead of her holding mine, and bring them to my lips, kissing each and every knuckle.
“In London, I realized that you were what I wanted. When you left, I was lost. I tried going to Ireland for a little to collect my thoughts and found a letter my father wrote me the day that he and my mom died …” I continue on, telling her the intimate details of the note and scoot around to the seat next to her when she starts to cry.
“That’s so tragically beautiful,” she says, wiping the tears from her face, when I finish the story. I have to use the sleeve of my shirt to dry my eyes as well.
“It took me a long time to figure out where I belong and where I fit in. I was so angry for the longest time. Pissed at my parents, my grandparents … everyone. I refused to even try a relationship after you because none of them fit. It wasn’t because they weren’t good enough, it was because deep down I knew that you were it for me. I never begrudged your marriage with Erik, not once, and only wanted to be there for you after he died. I wanted to be the friend you needed, but I’m over that now. I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Briar. I want to be the last love you’ll ever know.”
Briar all but leaps across the small space between us and into my lap, “You forgive me for not telling you about Katelynn? We can go tomorrow and get a paternity test if you’d like.”
“That’s not even necessary. I told you, she’s already mine. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that. It won’t make me treat her any differently.” She starts sobbing in my arms and I rub small circles on her back.
Through the sniffling, I make out her muttered question. “Do you love me?”
“More than I ever thought I’d be able to. The last two months have been torture not being able to talk to you, but I needed to do this so when you finally came back to me, you’d see I was going to do right by you and Katie.”
“God, I’ve missed you,” she says, smiling through the tears.
“Not anymore. This is it for us. You’re the only girls I’ve ever loved and I’m going to be the last man you go on a first date with.”
Giggling, Briar runs her fingers through my hair and winks at me, “Only if you get rid of those damn calling cards.”
“They’re already in the trash, baby. I wasn’t ever gonna use them again, anyway.”
“Did you save at least one?”
“Why would I do that? I’ve got the only girl I need. No more sneaking out in the middle of the night. That guy’s long gone.”
“I was hoping you’d leave me a ten.”
“You’re a ten and I ain’t ever leavin’.”
“Happy birthday, dear Katelynn. Happy birthday to you.” The entire park erupts in cheers and clapping. Katelynn, standing behind an oversized One Direction cake smiles in the direction of her mother, and thankfully I have my camera. This image will be one that Briar will always be able to look back on and know that even when Katie’s a bratty teenager with more hormones than any one person should have, she still loves her mom.
The guests of Katelynn’s party move away from the birthday girl and back to their seats in the pavilion. I mingle around the area, snapping pictures of them enjoying this wonderful day.
I can remember my tenth birthday like it was yesterday. Probably because it was the last birthday I had before my parents passed away. My mother had baked me the most delicious chocolate cake and both her and my father had bought me a bicycle. It was my first one with two wheels and I was beyond stoked.
Watching Katie’s elation as Briar passes out slices of cake, the first going to Katie of course, brings me back to that wonderful time. A time before my view on the world had become so skewed. A time where I still had innocence.
I’ve made it my life’s mission to protect Katelynn from anything that could take that away from her. I want for this angelic little girl to be able to be a child for as long as possible. It’s not an easy feat, but it’s one that I’m most certainly going to live up to. I have no choice.
She’s mine. My angel.
It doesn’t take long for everyone to devour their dessert and the kids to run back to the playground a few yards away. With my camera in tow, I follow the herd of children and continue to take photos of them—some swinging, others sliding, and a group playing tag in the field. Briar’s cousin, Lacy, who just had a little girl, is sitting on a nearby bench with the baby across her lap. Seeing a golden opportunity, I focus the lens on them and snap the image. Checking the screen on the back of my camera, I know she’s going to love it. Smiling to myself, I silently invade everyone’s privacy and capture these special moments that to the average person seem insignificant, but to me, they’re everything.
“Dex. Come play Red Rover,” Katelynn squeals, running past me as a little boy from another group runs after her. I’m going to have my hands full with her; I can feel it in my gut.
Every day that passes, she looks more like her mother. So much natural beauty, the boys are going to chase after her for years to come. My grandfather told me one time that he had to buy a shotgun just to scare the teenage boys away from my mother when she was younger. I may have to make the same investment. Although, I’m not sure a shotgun will suffice—now a grenade launcher … yeah, that’s more like it.
“I’ll be there in a minute, angel,” I return, making my way back to the pavilion to set down my camera and check on Briar.
When I get closer, she’s bent over, picking the used paper plates up off the ground and tossing them in the trash. Grabbing the last few off the tables, I meet her at the mound of gifts Katelynn already opened. We tried to tell everyone that she has everything a ten-year-old little girl could ever want, but obviously, she still needed more. I do have to say, with the connections that I still have, the One Direction tickets I was able to get her went over better than anything else.
“Go play with Katie, I got this.”
“Let me help. You shouldn’t be on your feet this much anyway,” I say, taking the trash bag from her hand and ushering her to a picnic table.
Once she’s seated, I grab a bottle of water from the cooler and make her drink a few sips before I resume collecting garbage. “She wants to play Red Rover. It’s been a while, but I think I might be a little too competitive to play a game like that with
children. I might hurt one.”
Briar tosses her head back, long blonde locks flowing behind her, and laughs. When she finally calms herself enough to look at me, her eyes, those topaz blue eyes shimmer with so much life and happiness it makes me weak in the knees.
“You’re gorgeous,” I say, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
“Yeah, you’re not so bad yourself.”
I decide to load the SUV with all of Katelynn’s presents now instead of waiting until she’s crashed from her sugar high and becomes whiney. Under strict instruction, Briar’s not to leave the pavilion unless it’s absolutely necessary. When everything’s inside the truck, I walk back across the field with my camera around my neck.
All seems right in the world; Katelynn is trying her hardest to cross the monkey bars even though she has zero upper body strength and Briar’s still sitting at the picnic table, rubbing her fingers in circles at her temples.
Seizing the opportunity, I stop in my tracks, grab the camera, zoom in, focus and take the most beautiful picture I’ve ever taken of Briar. She’d kill me if she knew I was shooting her, regardless of how amazing it turns out. Women are insane like that; thinking that when they’re not feeling their best, they’re ugly or unattractive.
Briar’s more beautiful now than the day I met her, and I’m sure she’ll just continue to become more attractive as she gets older.
Suddenly, the thought crosses my mind that it’s going to be Briar that I’m with when I’m old and gray. When I’m sitting on my porch, watching Katelynn’s children play in the yard, it’s going to be Briar’s hand that I’m holding.
A smile emerges on my face, unable to contain the feelings that one simple thought gives me. My parents may not have been able to make things work for whatever reason, but I’m different. Briar’s different. We’ve been given an opportunity most people never get; to fall in love and live a life with the person you’re supposed to be with. The person designed specifically for you.
Raising my camera, I take one more shot to ensure that it’s perfect. Turning away from the pavilion, I take a few more of Katelynn and the other kids, making a mental note to be sure to tell the parents so they can get copies of them. I may not shoot fashion any longer or be the most sought after photographer in the world, but I’m still damn good at what I do.
An arm snakes around my waist and a warm body presses into mine as I’m checking the image screen. Briar snuggles into my side and watches as I flip through everything I took today, pointing out the ones she loves. I stop scrolling just before I reach the ones of her, wanting them to be a surprise.
Turning the camera around, I aim it at Briar and myself. She looks up at me and I smile. The shutter sound brings her focus back to the lens and I take another.
“I didn’t know the great Dexter MacFadden was a fan of selfies? What was that about?” she asks, wrapping her other arm around my middle, squeezing gently.
“Well, my adorable little lady, I was just capturing memories. Things I never want to forget. I always want to remember us just like this. Perfect.”
Until Next Time …
I just wanted to say a quick thank you to the people who have supported me, pimped me, and been with me not only on the journey that is Calling Card, but since for the last year.
First and foremost, my husband, my rock, my best friend, my drive. Thank you for everything. You will never know how much you mean to me. You’ll never know how much you help me through the day. You’re an amazing man and I couldn’t be more proud to call you mine.
My kids, Tyler and Brayden, THANK YOU. You boys are the reason for everything that I do. Without you my life would be without purpose. I’m also really happy that both of you are at school today. Don’t get me wrong, I love you to the moon and back, but sometimes even mommy needs a break.
Lacy Daniel, my amazing, wonderful personal assistant. Without you, my love, nothing would ever get done. Thank you for your time, effort, sharing, pimping, and Norman Reedus memes that keep me going. I’m not sure what I would do if you left me. *falls to my knees* Please, don’t go girl (I totally sang that in my NKOTB voice)
My boss, my best friend, my colleague, my inspiration, Pamela Ann. You are the kindest, most wonderful, giving, selfless person I’ve ever met in my entire life. I’m honored to know you, let alone be your friend. We are two peas in a pod. When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.
Mommy. Thank you for giving birth to me 30 years ago today. This is the greatest gift you could ever give—the knowledge and confidence to make what I love my career. Thank you for teaching me how to be a strong, independent woman. Thank you for instilling in me the faith to pursue my dreams. Thanks for not killing me in my teenage years. I greatly appreciate it.
My Aces … GIRLS!!! I’m calling y’all out. Each and every one of you. Y’all … you really have no idea what a street team means to an author. You can’t even imagine how much I depend on you. Whether it’s for keeping me in check, reading my books, promoting me, making teasers, or just being there when I need to chat. Y’all have opened up your lives to me and that takes my breath away. Thank you from the bottom of my cold little heart. How you put up with me, I’ll never know.
Carrie Horton … my sweet little punkin. This book is for you. Thank you for accepting me for the crazy butch I really am, not making fun of me for using Twitter only to stalk celebrities, fangirling when Grumpy Cat follows us, keeping me entertained, always having something new to sell, and most importantly, believing in me when I forget to believe in myself. You’re an angel in disguise … I’m almost positive that you’re my guardian angel that sells makeup, but I’ll never really be sure. I love you. More than words. More than anything. More than Norman.
My Beta Readers – GIRLS … Thank you beyond words… You know who you are and I couldn’t have gotten this far without you. Many Norman pictures for lifetimes to come. Thank you for being in my corner and walking me through this process. You’re all rockstars and I am indebted to you for eternity.
Madeline and Nicole … because you guys are the glue that holds me together. Yes, without you and your messages and texts, I’d be a big blob of nothing. Just a crazy woman without any direction. When people speak about having real friends—true friends—it’s you guys. Thank you for everything you do for me.
Stephanie … because I love you. That’s all … I really can’t say anything more about it. Okay, yes I can, you know me better than that. You’re one of the greatest friends I have and I’m blessed because of it. Thank you for talking me down off ledges, keeping me centered, calling me BatAshley, keeping me calm during vagina emergencies and taking baths with me on the phone. I feel closer to you because of it.
Tiffany, my editor, the reason why any of my words make sense. Thanks boo. I can’t wait for another impromptu visit. They’re always more fun.
Louisa from LM Creations … I mean … SERIOUSLY!??! You rock my life and I’m so happy I met you. Thank you for putting such an amazing face to my story. Dexter would be proud
A101 … yeah … ALL of you. Thanks for answering my questions even when they don’t make sense to me. My first line of defense when trying to figure out what I’m doing. Thanks for making me laugh, sharing in my misery and in my triumphs, and reminding me that it’s not just me that forgets to shower and brush my hair. May all of your heros be book boyfriends, all of your words be written quickly and every release a bestseller.
All the readers, bloggers, promoters and everyone in between … do you have any idea what you mean to authors? I mean, really, do you get it? I don’t think you can even fathom how much we need you. Without you, our words don’t get read, reviewed or promoted. We never get the word out about our stories. We wouldn’t get messages about how much you love or hate us. We’d be just writers, writing for no reason other than to write. So, I’d like to tell you AGAIN, just in case you missed it in some of my other books … it’s for me that I write, but for you that I publish. Thank you for keeping my dream a
live and allowing me to know that I get to wake up every morning, talk to my imaginary friends and write stories about what we do together. It’s the greatest job, other than being a wife and mom, that I’ll ever have.
Ashley Suzanne is a married mother of three little boys as well as a daughter, aunt, sister, best friend, birth mother, blogger, book whore and author. Ashley is a native to the suburbs of Detroit, with most of her family living in Kentucky and New York.
You can usually find Ashley camped out in the living room, laptop open, ready for the next plot line to hit her. If she’s not there, check the football field, Starbucks or on the road headed for a signing.
When she’s reading, it’s typically something to do with romance, contemporary being her favorite genre. If Madeline Sheehan, SE Hall, Erin Noelle, Nicole Jacquelyn, Pamela Ann, Sylvia Day, or Maya Banks releases a book, you better believe that Ashley’s got her one-click finger ready.
Ashley has no pets, unless you count her children and she is a little OCD. Her favorite color is pink. Her favorite drink is cherry vodka and coke and double chocolate brownies are a must.
Other Works by Ashley Suzanne (all available on Amazon, BN, iTunes, Kobo and Smashwords)
Mirage (Book One: The Destined Series)
Inception (Book One 1/2: The Destined Series)
Awakening (Book Two: The Destined Series)
Façade (Book Three: The Destined Series)
Epiphany (Book Four: The Destined Series)
Raven (A Stand Alone Novel)
Moments in Time (A Collection of Short Stories by Various Authors … All proceeds going to charity)
Calling Card Page 13
