“Aren’t you coming in?” Sam called to her.
She definitely wasn’t getting her t-shirt wet in front of them. She shook her head and said nothing.
“Baby!” Sam taunted her with a laugh, cupping his hand and driving it through the water in an attempt to get her wet with the spray.
That’s it! “Emma, out,” Mina snapped. She gathered their stuff and marched away without looking back.
“Mina—what’s wrong with you?”
She ignored Sam as Emma hurried to catch up. Later, Mina had to admit it wasn’t so much he’d called her a name, as Winona telling her over the phone Blair Whitman had been calling to talk to Sam. And a couple of times, Patricia Longwood had come over to hang out with Joe and brought Naomi Sanders along. Naomi was a cheerleader for every sport, and of course, the prerequisite tall, blonde, and willowy. After that, Mina had an excuse to avoid going every time she and Emma got invited over.
Mina tossed her towel over the clothesline and went to change her clothes. I have to help Dad with wood later, I might as well change now. She yanked on jeans and an old top and grabbed her wet clothes, heading through the kitchen to hang them up on the clothesline.
“Stop.” Ma sat at the kitchen table eating a cucumber sandwich with a cup of tea in front of her. “What’re you wearing?”
“My old jeans.” Mina shrugged. “I know the shirt has a stain on it, but I’m just going to the woodlot.” Her mother’s yellow house dress was streaked with dirt from where she’d wiped her hands while working in the garden.
“That shirt is too small for you. It’s indecent.”
Mina glanced down. It was snug across the chest. “I know, but no one’s going to see me.”
“It don’t matter. Go change.”
It’s not worth the argument. Mina turned back around.
“It’s obvious I’m goin’ to have to make you some new dresses for school. Bring out some of that money you been savin’. You’re old enough to contribute.”
Mina stopped. It was true she’d been saving most of her money to pay for the dentistry Ma said they still couldn’t afford. Moira Thompson, their neighbor up the road, gave her rides to dentist appointments in exchange for babysitting services. I can’t wear those dresses she makes again this year…I just can’t. Mina tried to shut her mind off to the flood of taunts from last year, to no avail. Someone had even written a nasty comment about her fashion sense in the girls’ bathroom. Mina had defaced school property with a permanent marker when she couldn’t scrub it off the wall. “Ma, I was thinking maybe this year I could get some different clothes.”
“Different? Well, I guess you could help me pick out a new pattern, but it has to work for Emma too, when she gets big enough, and you’ll have to pay for it. You’re goin’ to have to use your money to pay for the material too. Money is sparse right now.”
“No, I meant different clothes as in West Lebanon. At the stores.”
“What? Whadda you sayin’?”
Mina cleared her throat. “Well, it’s just I’m fifteen now, and girls aren’t wearing dresses like that anymore. They’re wearing jeans and tank tops…stuff you can’t sew at home.” She waited. It didn’t take long.
“My sewing ain’t good enough anymore? I spend hours working on clothes for you and your sister, and it ain’t good enough?” She continued before Mina could answer, “You ungrateful girl. I wished I’d had someone to make clothes for me when—”
“Ma, I’m not ungrateful, it’s just I want to dress like the—”
“You are. And I’ve seen the way some girls your age dress, it’s indecent. If the clothes I make ain’t good enough and you want to dress like that, from now on you can figure out how to pay for your own clothes, and whatever else you need from your precious babysittin’ money. But let me tell you, dressin’ like that can only lead to trouble. Maybe that’s what you want, I don’t know…but it’s time you grew up and got a taste of the real world, missy. And maybe then you’ll appreciate what you had, but I’m done. I won’t be sewin’ for you anymore, so don’t ask.” She grabbed her cup of tea and left, slamming the back door on the way out.
In the weeks since their argument, Ma hadn’t said more than a few words to Mina and only if she had to. This morning was no exception as Mina kept a watch on the driveway. Winona and her mother were on their way to pick her up. School started next week, and Mina needed to get some clothes and supplies. Mrs. Miller agreed to drop them off in West Lebanon on her way to work.
Emma paced back and forth between the living room and kitchen. “Ask her. Now, please.” She wanted to go, and Ma hadn’t made up her mind yet.
Mina heard a noise and looked out the window of the front door again. It was Lilith’s car pulling in the driveway.
Emma saw it too. “You gotta ask her now.”
Her sister’s voice was filled with anxiety. They never went to West Lebanon for anything. Mina nodded. Ma must have heard the car too. She came into the living room, turned on the television and shoved a couple of cardboard boxes aside with her foot before settling into her chair by the picture window.
She never watches TV at this time of day. “Ma, Emma really wants to come with me. Is it okay? I’ll watch her real close, I promise. I won’t let her out of my sight. And I’ll pay for her lunch. Can she, please?”
Ma sat there for several moments, as if engrossed in the infomercial on the screen.
“Ma?”
“Ma, can I go please? I promise to be good.” Emma spoke up when Mina got no response.
“No. I think you’d better stay here. I’ve just about finished sewin’ those new dresses, and I still need to fit them, that don’t leave me much time with school right around the corner.”
Emma burst into tears, and Mina was torn between comforting her little sister, and hurrying out to keep Winona from coming up on the front porch. “Em, I’m sorry.” She gave Emma a quick hug, something she’d learned from Lilith Miller. “I’ll bring you back something, okay?”
Emma rubbed her eyes with her fists. “Okay, but I really want to go.” Emma sniffed back her tears, too late to stop the fresh, solitary tear that tracked down her cheek.
Ma, how can you sit there and listen to this? Mina wiped the stray tear away with her thumb. “I know you do, kiddo, but Ma needs to finish your dresses.” Mina heard the beep of a car horn. “I gotta go.”
Emma nodded. “Okay.” She wiped her face again with the heel of her hand. “Bring me something pink, okay?”
Mina smiled her assent and opened the door.
“Don’t waste any money on buyin’ her clothes, she won’t be wearin’ them,” Ma warned as Mina closed the door.
She and Winona tried on more clothes than Mina had ever owned in her whole life. The clothes at JC Penney were nice, but she only bought one shirt off the clearance rack. Kmart and Walmart got most of her business. Her purchases included some loose pullover shirts, jeans, and several hooded sweatshirts. She’d wanted to buy a couple of the button-up shirts that were popular and even tried one on. It was fitted and buttoned easily at her waist, but even though the material had stretch to it, it wouldn’t close over her chest.
Winona just raised her eyebrows. “You could wear it open with a tank top underneath.”
Mina shook her head and put it back on the hanger.
They headed to McDonald’s for a late lunch. Mina slipped into the ladies room to put on one of her new shirts and joined Winona at the counter.
“Can I help you?”
Mina looked at the teenage boy behind the counter. “Ahh, I’m not sure what to have.” She glanced at the menu. “How about a cheeseburger?”
“Sure, I’d love one. You buyin’?”
“Huh?” What’s he talking about?
He grinned and shook his head as he punched a couple of buttons on the register. “Nothin’. You want fries with that?”
“Fries? I guess.”
“A drink?”
A drink? “Ahh, sure. How a
bout milk?”
“Milk? Okay, we got a healthy girl here.”
Mina glanced at Winona’s tray at the next register. She had a paper cup with soda and ice. Mina blushed. “Sorry, can I change it?”
“Sure, but why would you do that?” He sat the carton of milk on her tray. “Healthy looks good on you.”
He rang up her order and gave her back change before the girls found a booth at the end of the dining room near the windows to eat and watch for Winona’s mother. She was going to pick them up here after her shift.
“He was flirting with you,” Winona said in a low voice.
“Who?”
“Him.” Nona jerked her thumb toward the counter.
Mina opened her milk and cast a nonchalant glance toward the other end of the restaurant. The boy stood there, a grin on his face, watching her. Mina dropped her gaze and focused on her meal. “I didn’t do anything.”
“I know that. You didn’t have to.” Winona took a bite of her burger.
“Why would he do that?” Her mother’s words popped into Mina’s head. “Is this shirt indecent?”
“What? No, not at all.” Nona shook her head. “He probably thinks you’re cute, that’s all.”
“No.” Mina felt her face heat up again. “He was just being nice.” She dipped a French fry in ketchup and took a bite.
“Yeah, okay…if you say so.”
“Hmm, these are good.” Mina reached for another fry and then took a bite of her cheeseburger. “This is good too.”
“It’s just like any other McDonald’s.”
“I wouldn’t know. This is the first time I’ve ever eaten here.”
“You’ve never eaten at McDonald’s? Ever? You’re kiddin’ me, right?”
Mina shook her head.
“Why?”
“We don’t come to West Lebanon much.” I’m not going to tell her this is the first restaurant I’ve ever been in.
“Wow, we have to get you out more.”
They finished their meal, and Winona’s mother showed up about half an hour later. Mina ordered two Happy Meals for Emma because of the collectible dolls included, and the cashier threw in an extra doll with a wink. He flashed another grin at her as he pushed the order across the counter. “See ya.”
“Thank you.” Mina hurried out the door with Winona, who teased her half the way home about the boy.
Mina came through the front door to a quiet house. Where’s Ma and Emma? Did they finish the dresses already? She carried her bags to her bedroom. It’ll just aggravate Ma, if she sees them. Besides, she wanted to give Em her stuff. Ma meant it when she said not to buy Em clothes. So instead, Mina bought her little sister a fluorescent pink notebook, paper, and several new pencils with pink feathers on the end. Emma would love them. Her mother wouldn’t like it, probably calling the pencils ridiculous, but she’d let Emma keep the supplies. It would be less money she’d have to spend at the Five and Dime, as she called the little general merchandise store in Bradford. Mina also bought Emma a lunch box, something neither of them had ever owned. It even had a container to put milk in—a good thing since Emma always lost her tickets, and Mina was no longer at the elementary school to give her one. She also bought Emma some sugar-free bubble gum to hide under her mattress. Ma didn’t like gum chewing. Mina opened the door to find Em asleep on her bed. She set the bags down and touched Em’s shoulder.
“Hi.” Emma sat up and stretched, then flopped back down on the bed.
“I guess you’re too tired to look at what I bought you.”
Emma sat upright in an instant as if spring loaded. “No, no, I’m awake. I just fell asleep waiting. Can I see?”
Twenty minutes later, Emma was all smiles as she sat on her bed amid her new treasures, chewing on a cold cheeseburger with gusto.
“Only one of the meals for now, okay? You can have the other one as a snack later. Ma will be mad if you don’t eat dinner. Where is Ma anyway?”
“Still out in the garden, I guess,” Em answered between fries.
“Did she finish fitting your dresses?”
Emma shook her head. “She made a macaroni salad to go with hot dogs for dinner and said she had some work to do in the garden and would be back in. I was reading while I waited, but it was a long time and I must’ve fallen asleep.”
Mina glanced out the window over her bed. Ma was out there weeding. Ma, what’d we do that’s so bad? Why are you always punishing us? “I’m sure she’ll get to it tomorrow.”
Mina waved to Emma through the window on the first day of school as the bus rolled out of the parking lot. In a few short minutes, the bus jerked to a stop in front of the brick wing of the high school. Mina hoped maybe Sam would be there already. Instead, just a couple of smokers loitered around the entrance.
Mina grabbed her backpack and held it in front of her. Where is he? She hadn’t seen Sam since the day he and Joe had stopped by the bridge to swim. One of the loiterers stared at her through a haze of cigarette smoke. What’s he looking at? As soon as she stepped through the double doors, the smells of fresh paint and industrial cleaners assailed her nostrils as she climbed the flight of stairs to her homeroom. Mina was disappointed to find the room empty except for Mrs. Gates, an English teacher and her homeroom monitor this year. From behind the desk, the woman glanced up, back down, and up again. “Mina, I hardly recognized you.”
“I got new clothes over the summer. I’m also wearing my hair differently.”
“Yes, I can see that now.” The teacher hesitated for a moment. “You’re certainly looking, ahh, grown up.”
“Thank you.” Grown up? That’s a compliment, especially from a teacher. It made Mina feel like the fighting she’d done with her mother about clothes had been worth it. She had developed, as her mother called it, over the summer, and from the way Ma said it, Mina got the impression it wasn’t such a good thing, but her mother had elaborated no further. Just like last summer when Mina got her period. Ma had shoved something called a “sanitary napkin” in her hand and said, “Here, you’ll have to use these for the rest of your life.” That was it. As far as Mina was concerned, you developed film or maybe a cold, but that word didn’t seem to fit with the 36C bra she now had to wear. Despite that increase, she’d lost weight everywhere else over the summer, something she attributed to doing double duty by helping her dad and babysitting as much as possible.
A few days ago, Ma stopped speaking to Mina entirely when she came out of her bedroom with her hair in two braids. Today she wore it in one long braid down her back, which wasn’t as easy to do as it looked. Despite her aggravation with Sam, she couldn’t wait to see what he thought of her new look.
“Here’s your locker number and combination.” Mrs. Gates handed her a slip of paper. “Don’t lose it.”
Mina nodded and went out to her locker to try the combination. It opened on the second try. She took out a book before stuffing her old backpack into the locker. Not sure what else to do with herself, Mina went back to her homeroom to read. Still empty. She slid into the front desk closest to the door and opened her book to read.
Mina didn’t look up, but listened as other kids drifted into the room. Mrs. Gates gave each of them a locker assignment and off they’d go, either hanging out in the hallway or maybe outside near the bus drop off to renew old acquaintances. A couple of kids came in and greeted her before heading to the back of the room. I think this is going to be a much better year. Mina’s confidence climbed a little higher. The first bell rang, and the noise intensified as desks filled up in the room from the back to the front, eventually filling in around Mina. And still no Sam. Where is he?
Naomi Sanders came in and sat across the room, in the row of desks by the windows. Mina watched from the corner of her eye as the girl slipped a notebook onto the desk in front of her own. One guess who she’s saving that seat for.
Blair Whitman strolled in with Missy Stone. Mina kept her eyes on her book. Don’t look up; just keep reading, although by now Mi
na couldn’t even remember what she’d read on the page. Blair greeted select people as she made her way through the room two aisles over from Mina.
“Hey.”
Mina looked up to find Sam standing next to her desk. He was already way taller than her five feet, but it seemed he’d grown even taller over the summer and had definitely filled out. Stop staring. Mina dropped her gaze.
“Wow, you look different—”
“Okay everyone, find a seat,” Mrs. Gates said, interrupting Sam.
“I’ll talk to you later.” He moved on. Mina resisted the urge to turn and see where he sat. Instead, she kept her eyes on the teacher.
“Welcome to a new year. You should all have your locker assignments since I have no slips left. Anyone not have a locker?” she asked, looking around the room. “Two of you? We’ll see what we can do in a few minutes, after we’re done here. Okay, new year, new classes,” Mrs. Gates continued, talking about new faculty, general schedule changes, the usual stuff. “I have your class schedules here. All classes are going to be shortened by fifteen minutes, to accommodate the assembly at the end of the day.” General hubbub filled the room. “Quiet down.” Looking around, the teacher’s eyes fell on Mina. “Mina, could you hand out the schedule cards while I figure out what’s going on with Patrick’s and Diane’s lockers?”
Mina hesitated. She didn’t want to get up in front of the class, new clothes or not.
“Mina?” Mrs. Gates asked again, checking the wall clock and unconsciously waving the five by seven index cards in her hand.
Mina headed toward the teacher’s desk. Somewhere in the back of the room, a very low whistle sounded, followed by, “Hel-lo, Mi-na,” enunciated as four separate words. Someone snickered, and Mina’s face flushed. What now? She couldn’t be the only kid in school who bought Walmart jeans. She knew for a fact the Miller kids wore them, and no one picked on them.
“Settle down.” Mrs. Gates looked up from the papers on her desk. “Thanks, Mina.”
My Mother Grows Wallflowers Page 6
