“Thank you.” Sam dropped his arm over her shoulders again, giving her a quick kiss on the temple.
“Thank you, Mina.” Jack Miller rested a large hand on Mina’s forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “For standing up for Sam.”
Lilith smiled, not missing her son’s arm around the girl. “Yes.” She leaned forward to give the girl a peck on the cheek. “He’s lucky to have you as a friend.”
“You’re welcome,” Mina assured them. “He would’ve done the same for me.” Now that the shaking had subsided, she was getting antsy about all this public touching. She liked it, but it would take some getting used to, if ever. “I think I’d better get to class. I’m going to need to get a pass, or Mrs. Barkin isn’t going to let me back in English.” Mina slid out from under Sam’s arm and backed away. “Bye,” she said, and fled.
August 1993
“Okay, girls. Are you all set?” Mina asked.
“Yup,” both girls said at once. Sleeping bags pulled up to their necks to ward off mosquitoes, Sarah and Emma laid back in the reclining lawn chairs.
“Good. The movie’s going to start in a few minutes. Sam and I’ll be right here in the car. Don’t wander off anywhere without telling us.”
“We won’t,” Emma assured her. “Can we have popcorn?”
“Popcorn? We just had pizza. Are you hungry, really?”
“Well, not yet, but I’m sure I’m gonna be.”
“Fine. We’ll go down and get some in a while.” Mina opened the car door and slid into the front seat.
“They okay?”
“Sure. Emma’s already requesting popcorn.”
“How can that kid be so skinny?” Sam laughed.
“I don’t know, but obviously we didn’t get the same genes when it came to that.”
“I like your genes just the way they are.” Sam leaned across the seat to give her a kiss.
“Very funny,” Mina said, but smiled nonetheless.
He straightened back up, but left his hand tucked into the crease of her jeans behind her knee; his thumb reflexively rubbing back and forth.
She studied Sam’s arm, fascinated with watching the muscles in his forearm move from the slight shift of his thumb. Working outside had shaded his skin a warm bronze and…there was that tug again. Brother, it’s only his arm. Get a grip. But she couldn’t help it. Mina liked everything about him. They’d spent every moment together they could manage since school let out.
Calm down. You’ve only been going out with him for a couple of months.Yeah, but you’ve loved him forever.
Shifting a little in the seat, she noticed how the plain black t-shirt emphasized his chest, built up from a summer’s worth of lifting. “How’s work going?” she asked, needing a distraction.
“Hot, dirty, but fun I guess. It’s like playing in the dirt with big Tonka toys. I told you, the old man is a drill sergeant on the job.” Sam’s dad was a foreman for a construction company, and Sam went to work on his crew. According to Sam, nepotism definitely wasn’t an issue. He swore his father worked him twice as hard as the other guys.
“Would you rather work with Joe?”
“Hardly,” he snorted. “I’m not one to schlep food to tables. But I’ll give it to Joe; he makes great money in tips. Can you believe it? He came home with almost three hundred bucks last night. I don’t get it.”
I do, it’s his charm. What would her father say? He could sell ice cream to an Eskimo? That was Joe. Not to mention he worked at Night Cross, an exclusive restaurant on the outskirts of Hanover. “Good for him.”
“Yeah. He’s going to be able to buy a sweet ride.”
“When’s he leaving?”
“In a couple of weeks.”
Joe graduated in June and was headed off to college. All the Miller boys had their licenses now and had been saving to buy their own cars for a while. Mina had taken drivers ed too, but hadn’t gone for her driver’s test. She had no car to take it with, so it didn’t matter. Mrs. Thompson, who lived up the road, said she could use her car, but Mina wasn’t so sure. It was one of those big SUV things.
Mina was back to watching his arm again. Think of something else. “Hey, I meant to ask you, has anyone heard from Ori lately?”
The Millers had managed to keep Ori here a year after he graduated by convincing him he should learn a trade while saving money before he took off. Both Winona and Sam said he and Marie had some real shouting matches over the phone, but Ori was good to his word. He stayed for a year, learned about the construction trade, and saved money. Because of that, his parents had given him money toward getting a decent truck and he left for South Dakota.
Sam nodded. “Yeah, he called Ina last night. He’s between jobs, and I guess he’s staying with Marie’s family on the rez while he looks for one.”
“Is that a good thing?”
Sam shrugged and leaned back against the head rest. The movement brought his Adam’s apple into prominence. Mina had the strangest urge to kiss it. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on what he said.
“Not sure. But my parents don’t think so. They equate the rez with trouble. All I know is he hated it here from the day we arrived. So, if he’s happy there, I say go for it.”
“Do you miss it?”
“The rez? Nope. Sometimes I miss my cousins and stuff, but that’s it. Besides, everything I care about is here.”
“Oh really?” Mina smiled, her insides melting a little more.
Tugging on her arm, he pulled her across the seat, not that Mina resisted much. “Remind me, no bucket seats when I’m picking out a car.” They had Lilith’s new car and the arm rest in the middle conveniently tucked back into the seat. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her neck. “Hmmm. You smell good.”
“Thanks.” She closed her eyes, enjoying the light kisses as he worked his way up her neck.
“Mina, there’s something I gotta talk to you about,” he said against her lips. “My parents got a call from Mr. Brown.”
Mr. Brown? Who’s Mr. Brown? Was all Mina could think as Sam continued to kiss her. “Who?” she asked, a little out of breath.
“Mr. Brown, the principal,” Sam reminded her in short breaths between kisses. His hands slid down, massaging the muscles of her lower back on either side of her spine.
Mina’s eyes snapped open at the sound of a voice near the front of the car. “Shoot.” She pushed away from Sam back to the passenger side of the seat. She sat there a second or two trying to catch her breath.
“Hello, Mina.”
The voice was right outside her window. “Hello, Mr. Winslow.” Mina pushed the door open and stood behind it before the man could bend down and look in the car. “How are you?” Unable to completely hide her breathlessness, she swallowed to relieve her dry throat.
“Good, thanks. Just gettin’ Freda some snacks.” He indicated the paper box in his hand. Freda was his dog. He didn’t have a wife.
Mina stood there unable to think of anything else to say. Thank goodness it was dark. She was sure her hair was messed up and resisted the urge to reach up and smooth it down.
“Well.” The man cleared his throat after a few moments. “Enjoy the movie.” Moving off, he called over his shoulder. “Tell your folks hello for me.”
“I will.” Mina watched the man work his way through the rows of vehicles before dropping back into the car. Glancing back over the front seat, she sighed in relief. He was gone.
“Who was that?”
“Mr. Winslow. He runs the town dump. He knows my parents.”
“Good. Maybe he’ll tell them he saw us, and we can get this out in the open.”
Mina sighed and shook her head. Not this again. “It’s not that easy.”
“Yes, it is. You just say I’m going with Sam Miller. That’s it.”
She could see it now. Her father would try to make a poor joke, like goin’ where? You don’t have a car. But her mother, that was a different story. There’d be no joking there. Mina shook her h
ead.
“When are you going to tell your mother?”
Mina said nothing.
“Are you ashamed of us or something?”
Mina could hear the anger in his voice; she was shocked he would think that. “No. Of course not.” Turning her head, she stared out the window. “I did already.”
“You told her? What’d she say?”
“Well, I didn’t tell her about us exactly. I kind of asked her how she felt about me dating.”
“And?”
“It didn’t go so well. She said I wasn’t old enough, and the longer I put it off the better I’d be.”
“Not old enough? Not old enough? You’re sixteen, I’m seventeen.” Sam shook his head, his voice getting louder. “Trust me, we’re old enough.”
Mina continued to stare out the window.
“Okay. Okay. When did she say you could date?”
“She said I couldn’t as long as I lived under her roof. But what does it matter anyway? We’re dating.”
“No. We’re sneaking around. We shouldn’t have to. We’re not doing anything wrong.”
It was dark inside the car, but Mina didn’t need light to see his anger; it was plain in his voice.
“My family knows, and they’re happy for us. Everyone knows, except your parents. Maybe if I talk to them?” He left the question hanging in the air.
“No.” The single word burst from Mina and echoed around the car. “I’ve told you a million times, my parents aren’t like yours, or anyone else’s for that matter.” The last thing Mina wanted was Sam getting a healthy dose of Gertrude Mason. “Please don’t.” Mina was overwhelmed by the hopelessness of the situation and the sense of always wanting more when she was with Sam. Tears slid down her face. She hardly ever cried and never in front of anyone. Turning her head back toward the window, Mina didn’t move to wipe the tears away, just worked to get control before Sam realized what was going on.
“Ah, honey. I’m sorry.” He slid across the seat from behind the steering wheel, wrapping his arms around her.
“Sorry,” she mumbled against his chest.
“It’s okay.” He was quiet for a few minutes. “I just had another thought. Your mother said not under her roof, so maybe…I’ll have to talk to Ina and Dad.”
“What?”
“You could move in with my family.”
Mina pulled back, not sure she’d heard him right. “What?”
“I said move in with us. You could sleep in one of the extra bunks in the girls’ room. I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind. I’ll have to talk to them to make sure it’s okay, but I bet they won’t mind, especially since you eat a lot less than Ori did. You can still babysit if you want, and we’ll go to school.”
Move in with his family? Live with the Millers? She always wanted to be part of their family. But not like this, it didn’t feel right. “No. I can’t do that. It isn’t right.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have responsibilities at home. I have to make sure the bills get paid, clean and help my father with side jobs.”
“Be free labor, you mean?”
Technically, he was right, but it was more than that. As she had gotten older, Mina knew with certainty her parents weren’t like other people. But what she’d begun to realize was besides being inept at raising children, there was something else about them. She couldn’t quite put a finger on it. They were like two lost souls the world passed by, scared of anything not in their comfort zone. If I don’t watch out for them, who will?
Mina knew her father wasn’t well, though he hadn’t said a word. He’d slowed down and sometimes seemed to barely hobble along, especially in the morning. His fingers were starting to twist to the side, and he lived on coated aspirin. She’d counted once; he took fourteen of the orange and yellow tablets in one day. He had trouble starting a chain saw or cranking the steering wheel on the ancient Farm All tractor, so he did few side jobs unless Mina was available to help him. Mina wondered how he managed to work all day.
And Ma, her bedroom was so full of stuff, she could scarcely squeeze into her bed. Mina’d offered to help clean it, but Ma declined, saying it was fine. Her father’s room wasn’t much better, but at least he could still sleep in his bed. And for all the cleaning up Mina had done, things continued to stack up in the hallway and every other available surface. Her mother alternated between being mad that Mina kept touching her stuff and promising she’d move it. Maybe she forgot, like she kept forgetting to put laundry soap in the washing machine.
And what about poor Em? She was only eleven. Mina couldn’t leave her behind. So how do you think you’re going to be able to go off to college? That thought wasn’t a revelation; she’d had it again and again but had been trying to ignore it. Mina couldn’t bring herself to explain all this to Sam. He wouldn’t understand. Who would? “Can’t you be happy with what we have? In another year, we’ll be out of here at college somewhere.” She hoped at least.
“For the most part, I am happy, Mina.”
Cupping her face in his hands, Sam’s thumb grazed her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. He leaned forward and his kiss was gentle. Mina felt her eyes water. Oh my God, this is so hard. Not wanting to cry again, she searched for something safe. “You said Mr. Brown called your parents. You got all those journal entries in before school ended, right?”
“Trying to change the subject again?” Sam studied her face.
A shrug was Mina’s only answer.
“Yes, teacher. All my assignments are in. I guess they were having one of those in-service meetings before the school year starts. It came up that several of the teachers thought my grades were good enough to be moved ahead to the senior class. But I’m not doing it.”
“What? Of course you’re doing it. Why wouldn’t you do it?”
“Because I’m not leaving you behind.”
“Sam, you’re not leaving me behind. I’m in the class I should be in.”
“But I definitely wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for you. I couldn’t put two words together in a sentence when I got here.”
“Yes, you could. You don’t give yourself enough credit. You needed a little help; I just happened to be the helper. Simple. It could’ve been a teacher, another kid, anyone.”
“Not true. I can’t explain it, but you have a special way about you that makes it easy to learn. Anyway, it doesn’t matter; I’m not doing it.”
“Yes, you are. You absolutely are.” Sam was going ahead of her? They wouldn’t be sharing classes anymore? She felt a slight flutter of panic in her chest. Calm down. Take a breath. Don’t be selfish. He deserves this.
Sam shook his head.
“What’d your parents say?”
“They said it was up to me.”
“Sam, you have to do it. It only makes sense. The classes are no harder than what we’re doing now.” The thought of the next couple of years stretched out in front of her. Too bad, let him go. “Please?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Can we have popcorn now?”
Mina jumped. Emma stood outside the window. “Sure, c’mon, ladies. We’ll make a pit stop too.” She feigned enthusiasm for the girls’ benefit, needing to escape the car and the crushing depression settling over her.
The subject was closed when the girls crawled into the back seat on their return. Sam and Mina sat apart on the front seat, only their hands clasped, so the girls could see the screen.
They were staying over at his house. Mina’s mother thought they were having a sleep over with the girls, something they’d done a few times over the years. But Nona had a date tonight, with Tom Evans of all people. Sam didn’t get it. Winona was a year younger than Mina, but their parents didn’t throw a fit. They had the Miller house rules, the four W’s. Who are you going with? What are you doing? Where are you going to do it? When will you be home? That was pretty much it.
The porch light was on. Waking the two girls in the back seat, Sam and Mina ushe
red them into the house. Someone had left the hood light over the stove on. Working their way quietly down the hall, Sarah opened the bedroom door, Emma close behind. Mina followed, but Sam pulled her back. Sliding his arms around her, he drew Mina close to his body, holding her there. Sam was surprised when Mina’s hands slid along his ribs, and her arms wrapped around his back, squeezing tight.
The little girls giggled and made kissing sounds, laughing at their own antics. “Go to sleep before you wake everybody else up,” he warned in a stern whisper. Pulling back, he gave Mina a quick kiss before letting her go. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Sam leaned in the doorway and looked at the two girls on the lower bunk of Sarah’s bed, illuminated by the night light Mina brought for Emma. “Knock it off and go to sleep, you two,” he warned again, before pulling the door closed.
Too keyed up to sleep yet, Sam went back to the kitchen, grabbed a soda from the fridge, and dropped into the chair at the end of the table. He stared at the unopened can without really seeing it.
“Can’t sleep?”
Ina.
“Naw.” He flipped the metal ring and took a drink.
Neither said anything as Lilith busied herself at the counter. A few minutes later, Sam heard the beep of the microwave, the noise sounding loud in the quiet of the house.
She sat on the long bench next to him, dunking a tea bag in a cup of steaming water. “What’s up?”
He shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on the can.
“How were the movies?”
He shrugged again. “Okay, I guess.”
“Did you and Mina have a fight?”
“No, not really.”
“Not really?”
He shook his head again. “Not really. The usual stuff. I’m tired of hiding out, and she won’t tell her mother about us.” Sam kept his voice low, not sure if Mina was still awake or not. “Would you let Mina live here?”
“Does Mina want to live here?” His mother took a sip of her tea.
My Mother Grows Wallflowers Page 14
