The Book of the Shadow

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The Book of the Shadow Page 11

by Carrie Asai


  Teddy continued. “But then, well, you know what happened. We didn’t get married. I still wanted my deal to go through. But my father said, Forget it, I’m not giving you any money. Finance the deal your own way. I want nothing to do with it. Unless you find Heaven. Find Heaven, and then I’ll give you the money for the wedding.”

  Oh. So it was for the money.

  Teddy was nearly trembling. “If I don’t get this money, Heaven, it’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen. I’m going to get my ass kicked, that’s one thing. They’ve already gone through with the job. It’s my time to pay off. I’m running out of time, see? But if I do get the money, it could pay off for me down the road.”

  I stared at him. Although Teddy seemed a little grislier and darker than when we’d first had the pleasure of meeting, he was ultimately the same. A coward, selfish to the core. “So the big reason you need to marry me is so you don’t have to stand up to your father,” I said dully.

  “No, it’s—” he started.

  “Teddy, please. That’s why you’ve been stalking around lately, scaring me and my friends half to death, making me quit my job and nearly lose my mind? Because you’re in some trouble with some stupid drug dealers and you’re too much of a baby to explain that to your father?” I was boiling over with rage. “Baka. How stupid you are.”

  Teddy looked utterly amazed. I was sure he hadn’t expected me to talk to him like that. “You should be a stronger person,” I said to him.

  “But Heaven, if you agreed to marry me, this deal would go through and life would be…life would be awesome! You’d have everything you wanted. You would be living the phat, plush life. Bling bling! Does that interest you at all?”

  I thought for a moment. Of course it interested me. I was champing at the bit to get back to my four-hundred-thread-count Charisma sheets and my five-hundred-dollar Carlos Falchi boots. I was dying for a limousine driver again. Who wouldn’t be? But could I imagine a life with Teddy? Could I?

  “Do you know who attacked my father?” I said gruffly. I couldn’t believe I was even considering Teddy’s offer for a second. Who knew if any of this crap he’d just fed me was true?

  But Teddy shook his head. “No, honestly, I don’t. I told you that before. Do you believe anything I’ve said?”

  I dropped my eyes. “I don’t know,” I answered. “Do you know anything about Ohiko? Who killed him? Who he was working for?”

  Teddy shrugged. “I didn’t know he was working for anyone else. I thought he was just opposed to joining the business. And I don’t know who killed him. I don’t know who that ninja was.”

  I looked back at him. Maybe I did believe something of what he was saying. He was very forthcoming with the details of the yakuza—braggy, almost. He was equally boastful about his deal makings with the Colombians, even if the deal was going sour. I doubted Teddy could make something up off the top of his head like that. And it explained why he’d been so pushy to marry me. It really did explain a lot. I didn’t know. I felt pulled in too many directions. The bus whizzed forward.

  “I have to get off the bus soon,” I said. I knew the neighborhood we were going through now. It was very near where Cheryl lived. “I don’t want you to follow me. Get off at the last stop, in Century City.” I’d memorized the bus route. Even if Teddy didn’t get off at the last stop, I’d see that he didn’t get off at mine, and the next stop was a ways down the road. “Okay?”

  Teddy didn’t answer. I knew he was upset that I hadn’t said yes. He looked disappointed—almost sad.

  “Look, Teddy. Please.” I looked deeply into his eyes. Beyond the tough exterior they almost looked vulnerable, scared. Bewildered. “Teddy, if you are as innocent as I am, you’ll want to keep me safe. And I don’t know if I can be safe with you. I don’t know if I can keep you safe. So please do this for me.”

  Teddy nodded. “Whatever,” he said. “But Heaven, please consider it. Please. I don’t know what happened at our wedding, and I don’t know if it would happen again, but I didn’t have anything to do with it. I suspect it has something to do with your father and your brother, end of story. It was something they needed to work out, but I don’t know why except for what I’ve just told you. But I do know one thing, Heaven: I can keep you safe. I’m a pawn in this, too. We have to save each other. We have to help each other. I could really make you happy. I know it.” He took my hand in his and sat a little bit closer to me.

  I stared at him. I hadn’t quite imagined these words coming from Teddy’s mouth with such heartfelt emotion. “This is where I get off,” I said awkwardly. “I’ll see you.”

  ‘Think about it,” Teddy said. “Please.” He stared at me, his eyes growing large. The bus skidded to a halt and the back door opened. I stood up unsteadily, carrying the tanto close to my body. “Thank you,” I said to Teddy. I backed away from him slowly and moved down the steps. He obediently didn’t move. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked down the steps.

  I stepped onto the concrete. I saw Teddy’s slick hair poking up through the front window of the bus. He turned his head and met my gaze at the window. After that, I ran.

  I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. It was so strange. I didn’t feel as disgusted with Teddy as I had before. Why was that? Today he seemed almost…human. Maybe because he had a knife wedged up against his back.

  I made it to Wilshire but didn’t see a cab anywhere. So I ducked down into the subway, quickly stepping on the train that had pulled in just as I rushed through the turnstile. I sank onto the hard plastic seat and put my head in my hands. My heart pounded. My head spun. The Yukemuras still wanted the wedding. Yoji was pushing for it to happen. Teddy would receive a billion dollars from my father. Teddy was being bribed by Yoji and in trouble with the Colombians. And I still knew nothing about who killed my brother and tried to kill my father. Only that Teddy Yukemura thought it was some sort of struggle between Konishi and Ohiko.

  I stared out the window at the squat, dirty buildings of L.A. My world suddenly felt like a terrifying place, all its players darker and cruder than I’d ever imagined. I closed my eyes and tried to stop my hands from trembling.

  Gojo calls me from a pay phone down the street. Is Tadeka with you? I ask. Put him on the phone.

  Gojo says he’s not there.

  Where is he? I demand. Who are these people I have working for me? In the traditional sense, the kobun are to avenge the family to the death. They are to keep tabs on my every move with vigilance. They are to defend and protect me, as I do them. They are my children.

  But these men should have their fingers cut off ten times over to ask my forgiveness. But no. Half of them don’t even apologize. Instead they laugh. But then they see. Then they pay. It evens out.

  I’ve been trying to call all day, I say.

  I don’t know, Gojo says. He was just here. Maybe he’s gone to find the girl again.

  What am I paying you for if you cannot even keep track of him? I say. Who knows what Takeda is doing in America. Sometimes I wonder if he is cut out for this business. It always seems like he’s got something up his sleeve or that he’s completely gone stupid or insane. Those people in South America: foreigners, others. He is blood, but he is weak. I’ve told him time and again it is the time to act, right now. Straighten yourself up.

  When I was his age, I was already taken under the wing of Tenjunkai, who was then the oyabun. I was twenty-three and a common gambler street thug, disowned by my family, who were ashamed that I’d been arrested. One of my first jobs was working at the brothel and making sure things ran smoothly. I watched as the beautiful women walked back and forth, all painted up. I was so mature, I did not touch them out of turn. Tenjunkai forbade me to. I was very obedient. He said that if I had, he would have cut off my head. Or better yet, he would have made me cut out my stomach: seppuku, ritual suicide.

  But Takeda, with his gadgets and bleeps and noises coming from his body, with his swishy pants and his enormous jeans and his spiky
hair, he is more concerned with image than business. His money will buy him more image. He will not be the one to take over Kogo Industries: I will. I fear Takeda’s clumsy hand guiding the company into ruin. Now is the time, however. Konishi is seriously ill, powerless. There is no better time than now to get it done. And the wedding is the best way. And then I will tell Takeda that the empire he’s been imagining is not as close as he once thought.

  But I must wait. Tell him to call me as soon as he gets in, I say, staring out at the garden. And tell him not to leave the phone off the hook anymore! I slam down the phone and walk in circles anxiously, trying to push my visions of grandeur to the back of my mind.

  Yoji

  11

  The one thing I was sure of after talking to Teddy was that I was hungry. Really, truly hungry for the first time in days. Maybe learning the truth about Teddy had settled my stomach. Fortunately, Cheryl had bought Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Their spongy sweetness was delectable. I ate three before I could stop myself, licking the sticky glaze from my fingers as Cheryl watched in disbelief.

  “Hungry, huh?”

  “Uh-huh,” I huffed through a mouthful of doughnut. “Sorry. I’ll buy more later.”

  The sugar wired me; I went into my bedroom and paced around in shocked disbelief over what I’d just done. You’re crazy, Heaven, I thought. You’re crazy, you’re crazy, you’re crazy. He could have killed you. His bodyguards could have shot you. He could have screamed out and you’d have been arrested. Or…anything. This isn’t some video game where you can just start again when it’s GAME OVER. This isn’t a Charlie’s Angels movie set where you can just stroll off into your trailer once the shoot is done.

  I felt awfully morbid, mulling over what Teddy had said. My father had set up a trust of sorts for him to marry me. Teddy was involved with drugs and who knew what else. I wondered what kind of drugs. Teddy had looked like an overgrown dog sitting there on that bus seat. A foolish kid. I wondered what he really thought about all this. I took off my shoes and lay back on my bed. Hiro’s jacket was draped over the bedpost. Then I remembered.

  That stupid jacket. I’d promised Hiro I would return his jacket. But after the events of the day, I didn’t quite feel like it.

  But still, I’d said I would return it. I looked around at all the other things in my room that were his. I might as well give them all back. In my post-Teddy quiet hysteria, I shoved all of it in a plastic bag and came out of my room. I wore the jacket for the ride over, though. Just for one last time.

  Cheryl sat in the living room, watching TV. “You leaving?” she said.

  I nodded. “I have to go over to Hiro’s to drop off some clothes.”

  Cheryl’s eyes lit up. “Has he broken up with the girlfriend yet?”

  I gave her a weary smile. “It’s not like that,” I said. “I’m not trying to break them up or anything.” I’m way too mature for that, I thought. Yeah, right.

  Cheryl winked. “I know. But you still like him, right?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah,” I said. And I still did. Way too much. Cheryl and I said good-bye.

  I lugged the bag of clothes back on the bus down the familiar route to Hiro’s house. I thought about how nice it would be to live there again as I studied the other people on the bus. Was anyone else having a secret conversation? I actually couldn’t believe that I’d had such strange words with Teddy in a public place and no one had noticed. Goes to show you how observant people are.

  As I walked down Hiro’s street, I felt a little on edge. Like I was being watched. I froze and looked around. Nothing. Maybe it was just a branch moving or a bird. The wind picked up and blew bits of trash around. I was probably just paranoid from the Teddy fiasco. Actually, it was good that I was on my way to Hiro’s house. I could talk everything over with him, all the things Teddy and I had talked about. Hiro would probably gape in disbelief when I told him.

  Hiro’s door was open and the lights were on, so I just pushed the door open a crack. “Hello?” No answer. I realized I’d been too spaced out to call first. I opened the door completely. The room was aglow in soft light. The TV flickered.

  Hiro and Karen were on the couch, kissing.

  I looked away.

  “Heaven!” Hiro said loudly. “W-Why didn’t you call?”

  Karen jumped up, smiling. She walked over to the TV. Their faces were beet red. So was mine. I noticed that Karen’s tight T-shirt was rumpled, exposing her midriff. She pulled it down.

  What else could traumatize me today? How many nightmarish experiences can someone take?

  I quickly stripped off Hiro’s jacket and threw it down along with the plastic bag of the other clothes. “Just dropping off some stuff,” I said, not making eye contact with either of them. “I’ll go now.”

  “No!” Karen said quickly. “Honestly, I should go. It’s late, it’s cold. I should go.” She looked so uncomfortable, I suddenly felt really bad. Karen hadn’t done anything wrong except let Hiro fall for her. None of this was her fault.

  “No, Karen, that’s why you should stay,” Hiro said. I noticed his bruised eye looked much better. The swelling had gone down significantly. “It’s getting colder and darker outside, and…it could be dangerous out there. At…this hour. It’s late.”

  It was only eight-thirty. But I knew what Hiro was getting at. Now that Heaven’s arrived, who knows who’s lingering outside. Crazy people. Crazy people who want to attack. Great. I just trail ninjas and thugs wherever I go.

  “No, it’s cool. I’ll go. I have to get up really early tomorrow. Early class.” Karen shot me an apologetic smile. God, after being here this morning, acting all secretive with Hiro, now I was back again, practically forcing her to leave. She probably thought I was such a bitch. But I wasn’t able to explain myself. I couldn’t.

  “But Karen—” Hiro protested.

  “No, don’t worry about me,” Karen said, putting on her shoes. “You guys stay.”

  “No, I’ll go,” I said. This was getting ridiculous. “Really, I just came by to drop off some stuff. I need to get some sleep. Here’s your clothes, Hiro.”

  But Karen had her shoes on. “Really, Heaven,” she said. She grabbed Hiro’s jacket, the one I took off. She smiled sweetly. “Do you mind if I wear this? It’s kinda cold out there.”

  Hiro looked like he would have agreed to anything she suggested. “Sure,” he said. I felt like I was going to cry.

  “Bye, everyone!” Karen sang. How could she be so cheerful? “See you tomorrow! And Heaven, we should hang out soon. Okay?”

  “Sure,” I said distantly. I couldn’t even wrap my brain around hanging out with Karen again. “That would be great.”

  Karen shut the door and left. I heard her footsteps skip happily down Hiro’s front walk. A car’s tires squealed outside.

  I turned guiltily to Hiro. “Hey,” I said. Hiro looked a little disappointed, but his good manners prevented him from seriously freaking out. Not getting laid tonight, huh? I thought, then instantly felt catty and stupid. Hiro wasn’t like that. Even with Karen, I knew he could never be like that. I sat down on the chair nearest to the door. “So…I just met with Teddy.”

  That got his attention. He stared at me, not saying anything, waiting for me to explain.

  “He doesn’t want to kill me,” I went on.

  Hiro rubbed his temples. I could tell he was angry. “What possessed you to meet with him? You can’t just call up Teddy and say, Hey, let’s have coffee or a drink at the juice bar! He could be a killer, Heaven!”

  “Whoa, settle down,” I said gently. “It wasn’t like that. I protected myself. I kidnapped him. I took him on a city bus and we talked. The bus was full of people. I had my tanto.”

  Hiro just stared at me, unable to say anything. I thought back over what I had said. All of a sudden the complete and utter riskiness of my attack hit me with resounding force. My stomach dropped out. My elaborate scheme now sounded like something a grade-schooler would think up.

  F
inally he spoke. “Let me get this straight. You kidnapped Teddy and took him on a bus. And then what?”

  “We…we talked about everything. The marriage, what he knows, the yakuza, his own problems. He needs me. And then I got off at a stop and made Teddy stay on the bus.”

  “How did you make him stay on the bus when you got off?”

  I stopped. “I…I…well, I told him to.”

  Hiro rolled his eyes. “Brilliant! And he didn’t follow you home?”

  “No!” I said, feeling my blood pressure rise. “Teddy didn’t get off at my stop. And the bus’s next stop was a while down the road. Then I jumped onto the subway and took it back to my house. It was dark. He couldn’t have seen where I went. He doesn’t know where I live. He didn’t follow me. He didn’t have any weapons on him or a cell phone or anything. He had a T-shirt and some ratty sweatpants with no pockets.”

  Hiro put his head in his hands. “Oh, Heaven,” he said. His voice was muffled.

  “I was able to slip by his bodyguards!” I said. I knew I was grasping at straws. “I was able to use the stealth break-in techniques we discussed! I thought you’d be proud of me!” As I said this, my voice broke and I realized how desperately I wanted Hiro to be proud of me. How I wanted him to feel something strong for me, something besides fear or annoyance. If I couldn’t be the girl he loved, I could at least be his favorite student.

  Hiro still had his eyes covered. “When I asked you what you were going to do about this, I figured you would—I don’t know—you would call him or something. On those untraceable cell phones. Not…hijack him. Put yourself in danger. Teddy has bodyguards, Heaven. You just said it yourself. What do you think they’re there for? To let Teddy get hurt? That was a stupid risk.”

  “Why?” I said. “I got what I needed to get from him. I succeeded. I showed that I can take care of myself.” Not that you really care. Not that anybody does.

  “All right, all right,” Hiro said, a little more softly this time. “I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know, Heaven. I guess I’m still trying to protect you. I commend the fact that you were able to utilize the stealth techniques. It wasn’t particularly ethical, but that’s okay. If you did what you had to do, that’s great. I’m just glad you’re all right.”

 

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