I strolled to the swing and took a seat, imagining being out here on a nice night at sunset. For the first time in days, a feeling of stillness settled over me, starting at my head and trickling all the way down to my toes.
Sierra sat next to me and cocked up a brow. “You want to take a look at the inside?”
“I should probably do that before making an offer, huh?”
“Might be a good idea.”
“Right.” I sighed and pushed myself up from the swing. “I guess we should do that, then.”
We went back inside and she took me on the grand tour.
“They recently renovated the kitchen and the master bath,” Sierra said as we moved from room to room. “All stainless appliances in the kitchen. Separate shower and a garden tub, which might come in handy when you aren’t feeling well. They also tore down a wall between what used to be two smaller bedrooms and turned it into a really good-sized home office with room for some built-ins and a nice view out back. I don’t know what you might use it for, but I bet you could come up with something.”
The second I stepped into that space, I had an idea. I could turn it into a music studio of sorts. Ever since I’d ended my representation with Derek, I’d been trying to think of what I could do to remain in the entertainment business but do it from Portland. The one thing that kept coming to mind, even though it sounded crazy, was songwriting.
I’d never written a song before. I’d only sung them. It seemed like something I should at least try, though, because it would give me opportunities to continue my career but do it on my own terms, not those of an agent who was going to push his own agenda. Having a studio in my house would be perfect.
I followed Sierra through the rest of the house, taking it all in. Even after the remodeling the owners had done, there were still two bedrooms and two bathrooms in addition to this big office. I didn’t need a ton of space, but it would probably be a good idea to have a guest room in case…well, in case I got so sick that I needed someone living with me to take care of me.
“Can I wander around for a few minutes and think?” I asked her.
“I’ll be in the kitchen. Take all the time you need.”
I did just that, moving from room to room and imagining myself living here. It wasn’t brand new, and there were a few things I would want to change right away, not the least of which were paint colors. The people who owned it were apparently fans of dark, bold hues. Not me. I wanted it to be light, warm, and airy, like the colors you’d expect to see in Tuscany or Greece. Paint was an easy fix, though, and there weren’t any major changes I could see needing to make as long as there weren’t any structural issues.
The real deciding factors for me were the oasis in the back and the studio. Between those two things and the fact that I would be far enough away from my parents without being too far, I knew—this was the house for me.
I meandered back to the kitchen and leaned against the bar.
“You still like it?” Sierra asked.
“Like it? Love it, more like.”
“I thought so, but it’s never a good idea to make assumptions.”
“So how does this work? How do I make an offer?”
“You don’t want to think about it? Bring your parents or a friend over to see it?”
“No need for that.” I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything change my mind. Not on this.
“Well, then.” She grinned and pulled out a file from her briefcase. “Let’s talk numbers.”
“You’re not seriously going to keep calling him Spanky, are you?” Levi asked. “Of all the things to name a cat…”
“Maybe? I don’t know. He already knows it’s his name.”
“He’s three months old, if that. He doesn’t know you mean him when you say that. He’s just responding to your voice. He seems to like you, for whatever reason.”
The scruffy silver tabby in question squirmed free from my brother’s grasp again and sunk his razor claws into my sleeve—and beyond—to climb up to my shoulder. The people at the shelter said they were pretty sure he was about three months old even though he was about half the size he should be at that age. He’d been rescued from near a dumpster at a convenience store a couple of weeks before, malnourished and sick, and they hadn’t been sure he would make it. He had a clean bill of health now, though, even if he was still kind of scrawny. This little guy was a fighter, in more ways than one, as he was reminding me at the moment. Now that he was up on my shoulder, he dug his claws into my skin so he wouldn’t slide off.
“Ouch. Can’t you hold him still for three more minutes?” We were almost back to my place, and the kitten was tiny. Levi was probably a hundred times his size. He ought to be able to restrain the kitten at least long enough to get home.
“You try making a kitten do what you want it to do,” Levi grumbled. “You should have taken them up on that cardboard box thing they offered. They said this might happen. Clearly, he likes to explore. And he likes you. There’s no explaining taste.”
Whether I should have or not, it was too late now. Once Spanky got where he wanted to be, he curled up in a ball, mewling in my ear with the same pathetic sound he made that had convinced me I needed to take him home with me. That’s where he’d hung out the most while we were playing with him at the shelter. Or at least he’d been up there a lot when he wasn’t otherwise occupied with climbing my pants and making flying leaps at feather toys and chasing balls and wrestling with the bigger kittens. But then after all that playing, he got tired, and he’d sought me out again to snuggle with during his nap.
I hadn’t really intended to come home with a cat. I’d been looking at a dog that was some sort of beagle mix when a huge chocolate Labrador had caught my eye. The second I walked over to the Lab’s kennel, this tiny kitten had pranced through the door from the cat area and sprinted up my legs and back to perch on my shoulder. When I’d tried to pull him down, he’d given me that pathetic mewl, and he’d dug in his claws, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere without turning my skin to ribbons. Then the purring had started, and I was a goner.
“What do you want a cat for, anyway?” Levi asked, his voice mixing with the kitten’s purrs in a very odd manner. “Do you even know how to take care of a cat?”
“Do you even know how to take care of yourself?” I countered instead of trying to explain that I was lonely without having someone to come home to. On our day off in Dallas, I’d offered a room to Coop since it looked like he’d be sticking with the team for a while. Apparently Wheels had gotten to him first, so I still had no roommate. Between that and the news Webs had given me about Katie’s cancer, I’d decided that I needed a companion of some sort, human or otherwise. I didn’t know a better way of making that happen than by bringing home a pet.
Levi shrugged and tried to pry the kitten free, but Spanky was having none of that. Those tiny claws dug into my neck again, and I let out a series of expletives.
Levi let go. “Guess he’s staying there until we get back to your place.”
“I guess so.”
Spanky resettled and started purring again, a warm, fluffy ball right where my shoulder and neck met.
“You should call him Tiger,” Levi said.
“Why Tiger?”
“Why Spanky?”
“Because I don’t know him well enough to know what else to call him.” I made the turn onto my street. There were two cars parked in the drive of the empty house next door to mine. Probably a realtor showing it. That had been happening a lot as long as I’d been living here. I pulled up in my driveway and hit the button for my garage door to open.
“Um, Jamie?”
I turned my head toward the cars in the driveway next door, since that was where Levi was staring. Then I wished I hadn’t because Katie was staring back at my car, standing next to one of the realtors I’d seen a time or two. She looked as thunderstruck as I felt.
“Fuck,” I muttered. This really couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t h
andle having her move in next door to me. And what the hell was she doing, looking at buying a house here? If she was going to stick around in Portland to go through whatever treatments she needed, she should stay with her parents. She’d need help, someone to look after her when she wasn’t feeling well, someone to take her to all her doctor’s appointments and hospital visits and God only knew what else. Cancer wasn’t something she should try to deal with on her own, and she knew that better than most since she’d already been through it once.
I would tell her so if not for the knowledge that she didn’t want anyone to tell me she was sick again. And then there was the small matter that I’d told her I needed her out of my life. Not to mention the fact that the second I opened my mouth to try to speak to her at all, I would probably break down and take everything back.
It was the only thing that had been racing through my head for the last few days—telling Katie that I hadn’t meant it, that I would be her friend, if that was what she wanted, or her boyfriend, or whatever the hell she needed me to be. That I needed her in my life and didn’t care what corner of hers she put me in, as long as I could hold on to some piece of her.
God knew I was a fucking glutton for punishment, but I couldn’t give in and do that. She’d flattened my heart so many times she might as well have run over it repeatedly with an eighteen-wheeler. Someday, I wanted to be able to give it to someone, and I couldn’t as long as she kept ripping it to shreds. I had to stick to my original plan and stay as far away from her as I could.
Levi opened his door and climbed out. He was crossing the lawn and heading over to talk to them before I could make up my mind about what I ought to do—like pull my car into the garage, go inside the house, and pretend I hadn’t seen her.
Katie had seen me, though. There wasn’t any doubt about that, based on the way her jaw had dropped when she’d looked at the car. I figured I had to at least go and say hello. Maybe once she knew I lived here, it would help her realize this wasn’t the house for her and she should move on.
I undid my seat belt and put a hand over Spanky’s back so he wouldn’t take a tumble, and then I followed my brother.
“So you live here?” Katie asked as soon as I reached them. She blinked a couple of times, staring at the fuzz ball on my shoulder. “You have a kitten?” As soon as she remarked upon that realization, her voice had gone all soft and sweet, like women tended to do around babies. She reached out for the little guy, and he surprisingly allowed her to pick him up without leaving me a bloody mess. The next thing I knew, she had him cradled against her chest and was cooing to him.
Which drew my eyes there. Where he was. Or really more to what was under him.
Her breasts.
Which were amazing.
They were perfect and perky, just the right size for me to cup in my palms. The top she was wearing had a vee at the neck, lining the small amount of cleavage she had showing with a bright turquoise fabric that lit up everything about her. And my kitten was hanging out there. Enjoying himself immensely, it seemed, based on the way he was purring. I could hear his purr motor working like crazy. The tiny bastard.
Levi cleared his throat, and I forced my gaze up to Katie’s face. She was watching me with a bemused grin, one of her brows raised in question.
“Oh. Yeah, the house. I bought it over the summer. Figured it was time to set down some roots. I’ve been here seven years so far, and it doesn’t look like I’ll be leaving any time soon.” Unlike her, which made the idea that she was looking for a house, not only in the city but right next door to me, fishy. Not that I said as much. Was she looking at houses near mine for a reason? Portland was plenty big enough that she could live any number of places that weren’t in my immediate vicinity. But that should be a private conversation, if we had the discussion at all.
The whole time I was talking, she kept petting Spanky, drawing my eye down over and over, and leading me to thoroughly inappropriate thoughts that had nothing to do with that kitten.
“I had no idea you lived here. I just put in an offer on this house,” Katie said, and I was pleased to hear that she did sound at least a tiny bit hesitant about making her revelation. Granted, I could barely hear her reticence over the sound of my jaw grinding. “If I had known…”
“Speaking of your offer,” the other woman said, “I’d better get back to the office and see whether we have a response from the seller yet. I know he’s anxious to get something done.” She smiled and nodded, and within moments, she’d climbed into her car and backed down the drive.
“Right,” Levi said. “Well, I should probably get out of here, too.”
His departure wasn’t unexpected since I knew he had plans for tonight, but I shot him a look anyway so he’d know I thought he was acting like a damn traitor. He didn’t have to leave for hours, and the guy never took longer than seven minutes flat to get ready for anything.
“Got a date tonight,” he said, winking at Katie and ignoring me. “Double date with Koz and some twins he met last week.”
She grinned at him. “Sounds like fun.”
“Fun doesn’t even begin to describe what I expect it to be.” He backed away, waggling his brows suggestively, and headed into my garage for his car before I could stop him.
“Don’t stay out too late,” I called after him. “And don’t let Koz—”
“Are you coming along to babysit us?” he shouted just before disappearing in the garage. “Who’ll take care of Tiger?”
“Aww, is his name Tiger?” Katie asked. The kitten was gnawing on her finger and making adorably ferocious sounds, as though trying to prove himself worthy of a name like Tiger. Instead of pulling her hand away, Katie gave him another finger to chew.
“They’ve been calling him Spanky.” Admittedly, I felt like an idiot saying that name, particularly saying it to Katie.
Levi backed his car down my driveway and waved as he turned onto the street. Asshole. He could have stuck around until Katie was gone. Now that we were alone, I wasn’t sure how to go about this. Not any of it. I hadn’t been prepared to run into her today. I had hoped I wouldn’t have to bump into her at all, other than maybe at the occasional Storm event, since she might pop in now and then. But here, at my house, when I’d just come home with a kitten who had a ridiculous name? Absolutely not ready for that.
Katie laughed. “Who would give him a name like that?”
I dragged a hand through my hair, realizing too late that I’d just messed it up worse than it likely already was. “They said he was always beating up on all the other kittens when they wrestled even though he was the smallest of the bunch. Runt-of-the-litter syndrome or something.” I shoved my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t fuck anything else up with them. “He’s an energetic guy.”
“I can tell.” She held up the fingers that the kitten had been chewing on, which were now pinkish on the tips. Not bleeding, at least. Just irritated.
“Sorry.” I don’t know why I apologized to her. Not really. I mean, she was the one who had given him her fingers to gnaw on, so it was her own damn fault. Still, sorry was one word that had been burned into me from a very young age. I grew up in Canada. Canadians tended to apologize for everything. It was a habit that seven years in the States hadn’t cured me of.
“It’s fine. Jamie, I—”
She averted her eyes for a moment, staring down at the kitten before raising her gaze again and looking at me full on. Her eyes were this clear blue, lighter than the summer sky and a hell of a lot deeper than the ocean. Her eyes fucking killed me. Always had. I was pretty sure I’d fallen in love with her eyes well before I’d fallen in love with the rest of her. And I had to stop thinking about how much I loved her. It would only do me more harm than good.
“I meant it. I honestly didn’t know that you lived here, or I never would have— Do you want me to see if I can take back the offer on the house? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
I had been growing increasingly more unc
omfortable the longer we’d been standing here, but it had a hell of a lot more to do with thinking about moving that kitten away so I would have a better view of her cleavage than it did about the likelihood that she’d be moving in next door.
I shook my head. “If you want the house, buy the house.” It wasn’t like she would be living with me, just next door. I never really talked to my other neighbors, so she could be like the rest of them. We could wave in passing and leave it at that. Somehow, I could find a way to pretend I didn’t know the taste of her lips or the softness of her fingers when she would touch me. Couldn’t I? And even if I couldn’t, that didn’t mean I had to act on anything.
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You’d tell me if you didn’t want me here, wouldn’t you?”
“Your father told me,” I blurted out instead of answering her question. Then I wished I could take it back. “That the cancer is back,” I finally added.
“I know. He came clean this morning.” She swallowed visibly and pushed the kitten back toward me, almost apologetically.
As soon as I took him, he scrambled up my chest and settled into his preferred position on my shoulder, purring up a storm. Katie crossed her arms in front of her. That pushed her breasts in and up.
I had to force myself to meet her eyes. “Why didn’t you want me to know?”
“Trying to keep that separation you asked for. That’s all.”
She shivered, and it was only then that I realized she wasn’t wearing a jacket or sweater. Then I felt like an ass.
“Come on,” I said, putting a hand over the kitten’s back again so I wouldn’t jostle him. “Come inside. It’s cold out here.” I turned and crossed the lawn, heading for my house.
Dropping Gloves Page 7
