by Julie Frayn
Ariel crossed her arms. “What do we need here?”
“Well, a newspaper for one.”
“Why do you care about the news in this stupid town?”
“I know you’re mad at me, but don’t blame Timmins. I thought I’d look for a job. Maybe an apartment so we don’t spend all our money on hotels.” She eased into a parking spot, put the car in park, and took Ariel’s hand. “Come on, it’s an adventure, right?”
Ariel pulled her hand away and glared at her. She exited the car and headed for the store.
Mazie sighed, gathered her purse, and ran to catch up. A security camera above the entry was pointed right at her. “Ariel,” she called out to her daughter’s back.
Ariel turned. “Don’t you mean Clementine?”
Mazie grinned. “My darling Clementine, it’s kind of chilly. Maybe put your hood up?” She pulled her own hood over her hair and turned her back on the camera.
“Are you nuts? It’s warm out. And we’re twenty feet from the door.” Ariel spun around and walked away, each step punctuated her growing frustration. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her hoodie and left the hood dangling down her back.
How could Mazie convince Ariel to cover herself and avoid cameras without telling her the real reason they’d run away? Not that anyone was looking for a blonde woman and a burgundy-haired girl with a pixie cut.
They picked out a few groceries. Mazie grabbed a box of tampons. She needed them for real this time, and wouldn’t have to skulk into another store and return them just to squirrel away a few dollars ever again.
At the end of a long aisle with house wares on one side and toys and sporting goods on the other, they came to the electronics department. Ariel made a beeline for the computers. “Mom, look! Tablets are on sale. Can we get one, please?”
“What do you need that for?”
Ariel stared at her, her lower jaw slack. That eyebrow she inherited from Cullen shot straight up. “Facebook. Twitter. Skype. Any modern way to keep in touch with my friends.”
“You’re on all of those?”
“God, Mother. Of course I am.” She rolled her eyes. “And we can get any map to anywhere anytime. Don’t need those stupid old paper things that never fold up right.”
Mazie sauntered past the row of tablet computers. She poked one price tag. “Is this a good price?”
Ariel peered at it. “It’s okay. How about this one?” She pointed to a much smaller screen, not much bigger than the disposable cell, for just under a hundred dollars.
“Kind of tiny.” Mazie continued down the row. “Here, ten-inch screen, forty bucks off. Only a hundred thirty nine.” She turned to her daughter. “Is that good?”
“I don’t know the brand, but eight gig of memory. And it’s got Ice Cream Sandwich.”
“It’s got what now?”
“It’s Android, Mom. It’s not bad at all.” She grinned and shook her head. “Don’t you use the computer?”
She used to. Until Cullen started reading her private emails and hitting her for sharing her feelings with what few friends she had left. What was that, seven years ago? He started making daily records of her search history, accusing her of cheating on him, all while he frequented porn sites and wasted the money he begrudged her for groceries on internet poker.
“Mostly to search for recipes.”
~~~~~~~~
Mazie slathered hot mustard on whole grain bread and layered Black Forest ham with slices of Swiss cheese and slivers of Granny Smith apple. “What I wouldn’t give for the panini press right now. Would love to toast these and get the cheese all gooey.”
Ariel lay on her stomach on the bed poking at the tablet screen. “Okay. I’m in.”
“In where?”
Ariel glanced up at her. “The internet. Connected to Wi-Fi. Online.”
“How do you know how to do that?”
Her daughter rolled her eyes and looked at her with that patented ‘duh’ look. “Everyone knows how to do that.” She tossed a folded tent card across the bed toward Mazie. “Free Wi-Fi. There’s the password. You want to see Google maps? See where we’ve been?”
Mazie handed her a sandwich on a Kleenex and sat beside her on the bed. A blue squiggle snaked from the lower left of the screen up to the right, twisted left, and trailed off near the top.
Ariel rested her index finger on the screen. “That’s Grandma’s.” She moved it to the top. “This is us. Timmins.”
Mazie nodded.
“That’s just the past couple of days. Check this out.” A few taps of her fingers across the screen and up popped a map of most of Canada, a blue line meandering from Calgary eastward. “Thirty five hundred, eighteen kilometres.”
“We’ve come a long way, baby.”
Ariel rolled her eyes. “Lame.”
“Yes I am.” Mazie took a bite of her sandwich.
Ariel typed, her eyes skipping across the screen. “Can I call Polly?”
“I don’t want to use up all the minutes. In case Grandma calls.” Or Rachel has police updates.
“We can connect online, for free, no minutes. It’s like a phone call but with video.” She pointed to a little button on the screen. “Camera.” She scrambled to her knees, gathered pillows against the headboard and leaned against them, the tablet resting against her bent legs. She patted the bed beside her, beckoning Mazie to sit.
“We can call Rachel on the computer?”
“Yup.”
Mazie swallowed. “Can anyone trace it?” she whispered.
Ariel scrunched up her nose. “I don’t know. Daddy sure wouldn’t know how.”
“Okay. How do we connect to them?”
She stabbed at the screen, typed in a user name and password, scrolled down a list, and poked one more time. A tiny picture of Polly’s freckled face popped up.
“Well I’ll be damned.”
“Look, she’s online.” Ariel poked ‘video call.’ In two seconds, there was Polly, staring back at them.
“Ari? Is that you? Oh my God, what did you do to your hair?”
“Cut and colour. You like?”
“Love.”
Mazie leaned her head next to Ariel’s. “Hey, Polly.”
“Mrs. Reynolds? Holy crap, you’re blonde!”
Mazie winced at the sound of that name. “Honey, you can call me Mazie. Is your mother there?”
Polly twisted around in her chair. “Mom, it’s Ariel and Mrs. Reynolds! I mean, Mazie.”
Rachel’s voice was tinny through the tablet. “What are you talking about?” Her large shadow loomed behind Polly. She bent down, her head over Polly’s shoulder, their faces squished together. Mazie had never noticed before how much alike they were.
“Oh my God, Mazie, Ariel! Look at you two!” She turned to look behind her. “George, they’re safe.” She spun back around. “Where are you?” She held her palm out to the screen. “No! Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Just tell me, are you all right?”
“We’re okay. Thought we might stay where we are for a while.”
Polly leaned closer to her screen. “Dude, what’s with the cops at your —”
“Polly!” Rachel barked her daughter’s name and jabbed her arm with one finger. “Let me talk to Mazie.”
“Mom! It’s my Skype, my computer!”
Rachel forced herself into Polly’s chair. Polly disappeared from the screen and a thud came through the speaker. “Mom!”
“Just go. Get some ice cream or something.” Rachel looked to her right. Polly mumbled and a door slammed. Rachel turned back to the screen. “Ariel, honey, can you let me and your mom talk in private?”
Ariel turned to her mother. “Mom, what’s going on?”
“I just need to speak to Rachel. In private.”
“What am I supposed to do, go wander the streets alone?”
“Turn on the TV. I can take this into the bathroom.”
“Fine. But don’t disconnect. I want to talk to Polly.”
&n
bsp; Mazie clicked the bathroom door shut, put down the toilet lid and sat on the cool plastic. “Rachel, what’s happening? Are the cops still around?”
“Not as much. Yesterday a few of them were in your back yard. I snuck out and listened through the fence.”
“You eavesdropped on the police?”
“Hey, nosy neighbour, remember?” She winked. “My thighs may rub together when I walk, but I can be stealthy when I need to be.”
“How did they find him so soon? I told everyone he’d be gone for ten days.”
“Some guy he works with. He came by a couple of times. I caught him pounding on the back door. Told him no one was home. He said he was supposed to go fishing with Cullen. Said he’d been trying to get him on the phone.” Rachel finished off her cigarette and butted it out of camera range. “I told him Cullen had already gone, but he could see the truck right there. Next thing I know, there’s a cop car parked out front and two uniforms knocking on doors and shining flashlights in the windows.”
Mazie was certain Ariel could hear her heartbeat through the door. She wiped a dewy line of sweat from her cheeks. “Damn it.”
Rachel nodded. “Yeah. I know.” She lit another cigarette, leaned back and blew smoke at the ceiling. “Anyway, damned if the police didn’t set up a ladder and peer into all the windows on the second floor. I guess there was a crack in the drape. Apparently they could see enough because all hell broke loose.”
“You lied for me.” Mazie let tears drip down her face.
“Hell yeah I did. But I’m worried.”
“Why?”
“Look, hon, I don’t know how to tell you this except to just up and say it.” She took another long drag and blew the smoke at the screen. She crossed her free arm across her chest and rubbed her forehead with the hand holding the smoke. “Mazie, it’s your mom.”
Mazie swallowed, her chest vibrated. “I talked to her yesterday. I know about the cancer spreading.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know about that. Cops found your van in her garage. They know you have her car. They’ve been hounding me no end, but I keep telling them the same bullshit story about Disneyland.” Rachel wiped tears from her face with one shaking hand. “Honey, they put a lot of pressure on her. And shame on them, harassing a frail old lady like that.”
“Rachel, is she all right? She doesn’t know where we are.”
“I think they told me this to try to get me to tell them wherever it is you’re hiding.” She put her lips to the cigarette and took a long drag. “She overdosed on sleeping pills and scotch last night.”
Mazie’s focus narrowed. The small screen blurred and the rest of the room faded to black. She gripped the counter with one hand, but her legs came out from under her and she slid off the toilet seat and landed on the floor. “She. She’s —”
“I’m so sorry.”
Mazie let the tablet slip out of her fingers. Waves of sobs overtook her body. She wrapped both arms around herself, rocked, and wailed.
Ariel knocked on the door. “Mom? Mom are you all right?”
Mazie couldn’t form any words.
Ariel pushed the door open until it met the resistance of her mother’s feet, then squeezed herself through the small open space it offered. “Mom, what the hell?”
Mazie grabbed Ariel’s hand and pulled her to the floor, hugged her hard and put her lips next to her daughter’s ear. “Grandma died.”
Ariel pulled away, her eyes wide, mouth agape. “What? But we just saw her!” She melted to the floor and curled into her mother’s embrace.
“I’m gonna disconnect.” Rachel’s voice on the tablet seemed a million miles from reality. “Call me back. Tonight.”
They lay on the bathroom floor until the tears receded and Ariel’s shoulders stopped shaking. Mazie sat up, her back against the cupboard, the knob poking into her spine.
“We need to tell Daddy about Grandma.”
“Your father didn’t like my mother. He wouldn’t care.”
Ariel pushed away from her mother’s arms. “He still deserves to know.” She wiped her splotchy cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt. “You have to tell me what’s going on. What did Polly mean by police?” She swallowed hard. “Is Daddy all right?”
Nausea welled up in Mazie’s stomach and saliva filled her mouth. She rolled to her knees, lifted the toilet lid, and vomited. Second-hand mustard burned her throat.
When she sat back down, Ariel handed her a fistful of toilet paper, reached over her head and flushed the toilet. Tears filled her eyes. “Mother, tell me. Now.”
Ariel helped Mazie to her feet. She led Ariel out of the bathroom and sat beside her on the bed. She held her daughter’s hands, took two deep breaths, and closed her eyes — like that would make confessing this sin go down any easier. “Sweetheart.” She opened her eyes and tucked a stray lock of Ariel’s hair behind her ear. With the new cut, that years-old habit no longer worked and the strand popped back onto her temple. She cupped her daughter’s chin. “Your father.” She blinked one long blink and swallowed. “He’s dead.”
Ariel’s face contorted, her chin dimpled, her cheeks and eyes blossomed with red patches.
“What?” she whispered.
Mazie hung her head. “I didn’t mean to. I just wanted him to know how I felt. I was just going to leave him, take you with me, before —”
Ariel jumped away from Mazie like she’d burst into flames. “You killed him?” she screamed. Both her hands flew up and grabbed the sides of her face, she buckled over and fell to her knees on the carpet. “No, no, no, no.”
Mazie slid onto the floor and put her arms around Ariel.
She shoved Mazie away, clamoured to her feet and ran to the door. She spun around, one hand on the doorknob. “I hate you!” She ran from the room, the door left open behind her.
“Ariel, stop!” Mazie stumbled to her feet, snatched the key card from the dresser, and fled out the door. By the time she got out of the hotel, Ariel was nowhere.
Mazie raced back into the room and grabbed her keys, ran to the car in the underground parkade. Her trembling fingers fumbled the keys and they landed on the floor mat. “Damn it.” She fished them from the floor and managed to get the car started. By the time she pulled out onto the street, her vision was blurred by unstoppable tears. Her eyes darted in all directions searching for any sign of long black flowing hair and purple polka dotted denim capris.
No. Short hair. Maroon hair. Damn it! She pounded on the steering wheel with her open palms. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
The alleys darkened in the increasing dusk, every shadow sinister, every doorway a potential hiding place.
A police car crossed the intersection ahead of her. She slammed on the brakes, turned a hard right and slipped into a narrow laneway a few blocks from the hotel. She slapped the gearshift into park and draped her arms over the steering wheel, laid her head on her arms, and gulped for air.
She’d murdered her husband. Her mother was dead. And now she’d driven the only person who mattered out of her life. She should just kill herself. Should have done that right off the bat, as soon as he was dead. Then maybe Ariel could have forgiven her. Found a happy life in a home without anger and violence. A life devoid of lies.
She leaned back in the seat. Time to call the cops. Turn herself in. Find Ariel and send her — where? She had no home left. No relatives left. Just a murderous mother doomed to spend eternity behind bars.
Maybe Rachel would adopt her.
She sped back to the hotel and parked the car out front. Three people hovered around the elevator. Mazie yanked open the door to the stairwell and took the steps two at a time to the third floor. Her jogging footfalls thudded in the dim hallway. When she rounded the end of the hall, she stopped short. Her knees weakened and she began to cry. “Ariel?” she whispered.
Ariel sat next to the door to their room, her forearms on her bent knees. At the sound of her mother’s voice, she looked up. Her face was swollen from grief, her eyes blo
odshot. “I didn’t know where to go.”
Mazie sat beside her and took her hand. “I am so sorry. I can’t even start to tell you how truly, truly sorry.”
Ariel rested her head on Mazie’s shoulder. “Why? I mean, I know he was mean to you and hit you. A lot. But why?”
“I didn’t plan to. It just happened. I was afraid he would kill me.”
“Daddy would never do that.”
Mazie sighed. “I used to think that. But he threatened to. And he’d nearly done it before.”
Fresh tears pooled in Ariel’s eyes. She sniffed and wiped them away. “You never told me.”
“How could I?” She rested her head against the wall. “I can show you now if you like.”
“Show me? What do you mean?”
Mazie stood and offered Ariel her hand.
Ariel hesitated, then slipped her soft palm into her mother’s and allowed Mazie to pull her to her feet.
Mazie opened her suitcase and unzipped the removable lining from the hard outer shell. She slipped her hand in and felt around until her fingers found the envelope. The paper that contained evidence of his cruelty shot tiny tendrils of pain through her fingers. Negative energy. Bad juju. Ariel needed to see it. To understand. Or Mazie would never be forgiven.
She held the envelope, heavy with the weight of the duplicate set of Polaroids and her second diary, in both hands. “I kept a journal. Not feelings or anything. Just dates. Times.” She swallowed. “And pictures. Of what he did.”
She sat on the edge of the bed. Ariel sat cross-legged at the edge of her peripheral vision. “I never planned to share this with you.” She turned to face her daughter. “I didn’t want you to know. Didn’t want you to see who he really was.”
Ariel held out her hand.
Mazie shook her head. “Just a sec.” She cleared her throat. “You have to know that he wasn’t always like this. It was good in the beginning. But things changed. It was years after he first hit me before I took the pictures or wrote it down.”
“Why’d you start?”
“I’d fooled myself into thinking he didn’t mean it. He’d stop. But he never did. And I knew it would never end. I was certain that he would kill me one day. He’d come close before.”
