by Lexy Timms
“The good news is you shouldn't have to worry about anything being funneled from your company from this point on. Him being forced to liquidate like this means he knows he’s been caught.”
“That also means we won’t see a penny of it back,” I said.
“Not necessarily. The assets seized and already frozen by the government will eventually be dispersed. In percentages, of course. It won’t cover all he stole, but you’ll still see some of that money back.”
“Is that all?” I asked.
“That’s it,” she said.
“Then I have somewhere I need to be. Thank you for stopping by.”
I didn’t care any longer. I mean, I cared about my company and what was happening, but if Markus was on the run, there was nothing else I could do. Ross was working on getting the FBI the concise, concrete proof they needed while Ashley was running around fuck-knew-where. I had a relationship that meant more to me than life itself that was falling apart, and my time was needed elsewhere.
Everything I could do to help my company was being taken care of.
I ushered Trish out of my office before I locked it behind me. I escorted her down to the parking garage, and we parted ways with a handshake. I got into my car and fought the paparazzi outside to get onto the main road, and then I got lost on some back roads trying to get to Ashley’s apartment.
It took me almost an hour to find it, but no one was on my tail because of it.
I parked in the back and made my way in quietly. I took the stairs instead of the elevator all the way up to the fourteenth floor. I hoped she was there. I hoped she was simply taking time to herself. I hoped there wasn’t some grand emergency with Cass or her mother or another facet of her life that was being dropped on her shoulders.
I wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle anything else.
I knocked on the door and heard shuffling behind it. I heard the little pitter-patter of puppy feet before the doorknob turned. The door cracked open and Ashley was standing there, her eyes scanning me frightfully.
“It’s only me,” I said. “I wanted to come check on you.”
“I took a personal day, not a sick day,” she asked.
“I know. I still wanted to make sure you were okay and that you got out of the hotel all right.”
“Yep. I’m good,” she said.
“May I come in?”
She was hesitant, but she opened the door and let me in. She had the blinds drawn on her apartment, and the porch door was locked. Her favorite part of this entire fucking place and she couldn't even enjoy it.
It made my gut spark with anger.
“I’m worried about you,” I said.
“Nothing to worry about. Just needed a personal day.”
“We need you at the company. For a strong front,” I said.
“Then you should have told me the personal day couldn’t be granted.”
“I was concerned something might’ve happened at the hotel or you were holed up in here because of the paparazzi.”
“I would’ve told you that if I was,” she said.
“I had another meeting with my lawyer this morning.”
“How did it go?”
I watched her cross the room and lean against her kitchen table like she was trying to put distance between us. She pulled a cardigan tightly around her, and I stuffed my hands into my pockets. I wanted to come off as calm as I could, though I knew something was wrong.
Something was bothering her about us.
“If I tell you, will you tell me what’s wrong?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said with a shrug.
“Markus was spotted on the other side of Canada. He had a private place on the other coastline under the name Lou Roth.”
“Fucking asshat,” Ashley said.
“Yeah. He filed for bankruptcy and dissolved everything. The investigators think he’s headed to Florida to do the same thing here.”
“Then he’ll take off, and we’ll never see him again.”
“Essentially.”
“What did your lawyer say to do about it?”
“Nothing. It was merely an update. Ross is getting the numbers together and formalizing all the proof in case we can get him into court, but it’s not as clear-cut as I thought it might be.”
“Never is,” she said.
“My lawyer says we shouldn’t have anything else to worry about.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“With Markus, I meant.”
Her eyes connected with mine as her head slowly nodded.
“Talk to me,” I said. “Communicate with me.”
“I had to sneak out of the back of a hotel this morning to cover your ass,” Ashley said.
I knew immediately where I had fucked up the moment she said it.
“I’m sorry. I thought with it being such a nice room, you might’ve enjoyed—”
“Exactly. You assumed something. Instead of talking with me about how I would feel about something like that, you told me that was what was happening.”
“In my defense, though I’m sure it’ll anger you, you did ask me last night what I wanted to do about it. It was the first thing that popped into my mind, so I rolled with it.”
“You’re right. It does make me angry. It shouldn’t be an issue that you’re constantly falling apart at the seams, and I’m angry about it. I can’t be everyone’s totem pole to lean on. This is affecting me too. Have you seen the news?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
“Because it’s important, Jimmy. They’re dissecting my life. They’re talking about my mother.”
“Wait a second. What?” I asked
“Yeah. They’re talking about my mother with Alzheimer’s like it’s morning coffee time with the family. They’re saying I’m screwing around with my boss to get my mind off the fact that I won’t have a family after she passes. Like my life is for their public consumption, Jimmy!”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Ashley, tell me what I can do.”
“I don’t know what you can do. I don’t know if there’s anything we can do. I don’t know if this is possible, and I don’t know if we could ever be happy, and I don’t know if me working for you is smart. I don’t know who to trust or who to talk to or where to go when I get to work because I feel like I’m being watched everywhere I go. I don’t know how much longer my mother is going to live, and I don’t know if I can keep sneaking around with you, and I sure as hell don’t know if this will ever settle.”
I took a step toward Ashley before she took two steps back.
“I fucked up, and I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have had the sense about me to ask you how you felt about that plan, but it wasn’t only to save my ass. It was to make sure you were covered too.”
“Well, your efforts are fruitless because they’re still devouring me on the morning and evening news.”
“What can I do?” I asked.
“You can leave,” she said.
I felt my stomach drop to my toes as her eyes connected with mine.
“For fuck’s sake, Jimmy. I’m not breaking up with you, but if you think I can hold you and my mother up along with trying to keep some shred of secrecy and decency to my life away from the hands of the press, you’re sorely mistaken. I know you’re hurting right now, but I can’t come to you because you’re hurting too.”
“I can be strong for you, Ashley. I can be strong for us both for a while.”
“I don’t know if you can,” she said breathlessly.
Watching tears crest her eyes without being able to go to her shattered my heart. I felt like I was bleeding nonstop and nothing I did helped with the pain. She sniffled and sat down into a chair, her face falling into her hand.
She looked so tired and worn down. All I wanted to do was try to make it better, but in the process, I was making it worse.
“Please, leave,” Ashley said.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” I asked.
“
If I don’t take another personal day, yes,” she said.
“Please come into work. We need you.”
“Yeah. It seems everyone does.”
I slowly walked toward her door as her head lifted from her hands. Her eyes were tired, and her shoulders were slumped. She looked like she had aged ten years over the course of the past three weeks. My hand fell onto her doorknob, and I moved as slowly as I could. Hoping she could call for me and tell me to come back. Tell me to stay. Tell me to sit with her and hold her while she cried.
But the tears fell down her cheeks as I slipped out the door. Unnoticed and unnecessary.
Chapter 20
Ashley
“You know I love you, right?” Cass asked.
“I love you too,” I said.
“So you know what I’m about to say comes from a place of love, right?”
“What is it?” I asked.
“You need to grow the fuck up.”
My jaw went slack as my eyes widened.
“What?” I asked flatly.
“You, Ashley Ternbeau, need to grow the fuck up.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s Friday. This is your second personal day since you started questioning things again between you and Jimmy.”
“So? I’m working from home. I haven’t slacked on any of my work.”
“You’re being a coward.”
“I’m being sensible,” I said.
“No, you’re not. The company you work for is tanking, and they’re looking to you for guidance. You and Jimmy and whoever the hell else works on that top floor. But you’re sitting here, running from your problems like a teenage girl.”
“You’re being unreasonable.”
“I’m being unreasonable? You agreed to the hotel, Ashley! When he called you up and said ‘meet me there,’ you fucking dressed yourself to the nines for some slinky little vacation hook-up. And then you got pissed when it didn’t happen because people followed you? Do you know how hypocritical and childish that sounds?”
“He wanted me to stay there and sneak out to cover his ass.”
“But you were willing to sneak in and hop on his dick?” she asked. “You’re as guilty as Jimmy is for all this. What did you think was going to happen when you started doing this with him?”
“I didn’t think I would end up on the cover of a tabloid magazine!”
“Oh, really? You didn’t know that the man who is always photographed whenever he goes out would be photographed with you whenever you two went out? What, you didn’t think the media would like the fact that a tech mogul billionaire was screwing one of his corporate coworkers?”
“No, I didn’t think this would happen!”
“Then you’re an idiot,” she said.
“I think one of the requirements of my job is the strict fact that I’m not an idiot,” I said.
“A social idiot. Right now, you’re pissed that the rules of social engagement apply to you. You’re pissed the media is devouring the fact that you’re sleeping with your boss when you curl up in this apartment every night and watch the same bullshit pop culture swill that now has your face plastered all over it.”
“You can stop now,” I said.
“No, because you’re still sitting here. It’s time to buck up and face facts. You love him. I know it. You’ve told me, and I can see it in your eyes whenever you talk about him. He’s going through a hard time, just like you are, and you need to be there for him.”
“Well, he needs to be there for me too.”
“And he was. You told me he came to check up on you, and you threw him out.”
“I didn’t throw him out. I asked him to leave.”
“In your world, that’s throwing someone out,” she said. “But the point is, he was here. Being strong for you. Asking you what was wrong. You pushed him away when all he wanted to do was help you like you’ve helped him. You don’t get to be angry at him because all of this is your doing.”
“Thanks for taking my side.”
“This isn’t about taking sides, Ash. This is about you being a fucking adult when the man at your side needs you to be,” she said. “You need to realize all of this before you lose him for good.”
“I don’t know what to do, Cass.”
“Well, the answer isn’t going to come to you when you’re cooped up in your apartment. You need to lean on one another instead of running away from each other. From him. Tell him how you feel.”
“Why should I be the one to make that first move?”
“Because it’s the twenty-first century, and men are allowed to have feelings, which means women are allowed to take the first step. Right now, the ball’s in your fucking court because he came to see you and you asked him to leave. It’s not his move to make anymore. It’s yours. He already made his move, and you wanted to be alone instead.”
I clenched my jaw as I stared at the curtain-covered sliding glass door.
“It’s written all over your face, Ashley. Even when you’re angry with him, you’re passionately angry. You don’t just love him. You’re in love with him, and sometimes it isn’t on the man’s shoulders to make the first move. Sometimes, it’s simply in the woman’s court. That’s not a bad thing, but it is a thing. So you need to stop making excuses and start conducting yourself like an adult before you lose him. Even men like him know when they’ve had enough and know when they’re not wanted.”
“I wanted some time to wrap my head around things.”
“News flash. Adults don’t always get that,” Cass said.
And I knew she was right.
I stood up and hugged my friend before I went to get dressed for work. I wasn’t going to be in until after lunch, but it didn’t matter. If people weren’t staring at me because I was late, they would be staring at me because I was fucking Jimmy. I drove myself to work and ignored the looks of people as I walked through the hallways.
I needed to talk with Jimmy, even if it looked bad that I was in his office.
I went straight for his office, but I saw it was dark. I knocked on his door anyway, hoping he was simply resting his eyes. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I clutched my coffee, my hand lightly knocking against the door.
“He hasn’t shown up yet.”
I turned my eyes to see Ross as his voice hit my ears.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yep. Just taking a day out of the office.”
“Do you know when he’ll be back?”
“Did he know when you were going to be back?” he asked.
I furrowed my brow as Ross nodded his head.
“My office?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “No problem.”
I walked behind Ross and shut the door behind us. He dropped the folder in his hands and leaned against his desk. I felt my stomach clenching with nervousness as the look in his eye grew stern.
Had something happened while I was gone?
“Jimmy isn’t here because he’s working. He’s out there, trying to talk with our investors and fix things.”
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked. “If he’s with the investors, I should be there, right?”
“It’s not a monetary meeting, so no,” he said. “But there is something I want to say to you.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
“If you couldn’t handle the heat, you shouldn't have come back.”
I felt my stomach drop to the floor as I swallowed hard.
“Jimmy’s here every day, despite the media and despite the hounding and despite everything falling apart. He’s here because he knows how important appearances are in a corporate atmosphere. He’s here trying to fix your reputation and his reputation and the company’s reputation. Meanwhile, you’re at home, remoting in to do the bare minimum required of you in the hopes you can skirt by in the shadows.”
I had no idea what to say to defend myself.
“Ashley, you’re a smart woman. Better with numbers
than anyone I’ve ever come across. But your job is more than that. Working for corporate is more than that. It’s about strength and determination, gritting your teeth and smiling, even when the wolves are drooling in your face. No one’s going to tell you when you have to come in or when you have to leave, not because you can come and go as you please, but because we’re all adults. We know what’s expected of us in a work atmosphere.”
I blinked my tears away and cleared my throat.
“I was the one who put you up for this promotion, and I was the one that supported Jimmy’s relationship with you when he came clean to me about it. But now that the two of you are in the crosshairs of the media, you’re leaving him to deal with a mess the two of you should be dealing with together.”
“I didn’t look at it that way,” I said.
“I know you didn't. Otherwise, you’d be at work instead of wherever the hell you’ve been.”
“I’m sorry, Ross.”
“Don’t apologize to me. I’m not the one in love with you.”
“What?” I asked.
“Jimmy cares about you. A lot. And he’s willing to go to hell and back to fix what’s going on, with his company and with your reputation. No matter what it does to his. But all I see is another woman not willing to put up the fight he’s putting up, and I’m concerned.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then prove it to me. Don’t just say it. Get out there and show me. Show him. Show all of us. All these rumors around the office? They aren’t about you two sneaking around together.”
“They’re not?” I asked.
“No. They’re about how you aren’t good enough for him. How he deserves better. How you’re a rebound from Nina and nothing else. And I’ve been trying to interject and squash them as I can, but I want you to know those rumors aren’t on unstable ground. Your actions are proving them right.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek as my jaw began to quiver.
“In a corporate world, appearances are everything, especially during scandals like the one Markus brought down on our heads. But in the world Jimmy lives in, personal conviction is everything. You say you care about him, but your actions say otherwise.”
“Is that all?” I asked.
“If you can’t handle this, then that’s fine. Most people can’t handle working in a corporate atmosphere. But what you need to do if you can’t handle it is wait for the dust to settle and then step down quietly.”
