Then he was moving, setting a pace that stole her breath and captured her thudding heart. She freed her hands to cup his face, holding his gaze, knowing her own was filled with awe and wonder.
Was this what it felt like when it was right?
Jace slid his hands beneath her, sliding them up her back to grip her shoulders. The movement pulled them closer, pushing him deeper inside her, and she let out a hungry, needy sound, quivering in pure pleasure. As her eyes started to drift closed, he tangled a hand in her hair and gently tugged until she opened them again. His delicious, smoldering gaze held hers, allowing her to see his wants and fears and joy, allowing him the same as she shuddered and trembled and came, taking him with her over the edge for the blissful journey.
She was treading new territory, and got the impression it was the same for him. It scared her to be so open and trusting. This man had the ability to crush her heart, but he also had the ability to give it wings.
It was the middle of January, and Jace was in the middle of a normal week, in the middle of a normal day filled with the normal round of patients and their problems. Yet, his mind kept straying to Holly. There was nothing normal about the incredible woman, but he couldn’t keep thinking that at the moment because of his patients. He’d already treated several cases of strep throat, two flus, one stitch job, and now Connor.
“You’ve got to stop this, Doc.” The tall cowboy paced back and forth, his lanky body only needing two strides.
Jace leaned his back against the counter and waited for the man to stop.
“Seriously. Jelly donuts and cheese whip?” He halted, face twisting to match the disgust in his dark eyes. “I don’t even like cheese whip.”
“It will stop. In about three months. Hang in there. You’re doing great.”
“Great? How can you say that? I’ve even gained five pounds!”
If the cowboy didn’t have such a physically demanding job, Jace feared the weight gain would’ve been four times greater. He decided to keep that observation to himself. The poor father-to-be was stressed enough.
“There’s got to be something I can take.”
He shook his head. “Sorry. There isn’t anything I can give you for cravings. I can only suggest something for the heartburn or upset stomach caused by your food combinations.”
“That’s just it. There aren’t any. Just more damn cravings.”
“Well, have you tried mind over matter? Maybe reaching for a stalk of celery instead of the donut?”
To his surprise, the cowboy nodded.
“Yeah, but it didn’t taste nearly as good as the donut.”
Jace bit the inside of his lip. Don’t laugh. Do not laugh. None of his patients had ever tested his resolve to remain professional. Just Connor.
He decided to switch gears. Try changing the man’s focus.
“How’s Kerri?”
“She’s good. Doesn’t have a craving for cheese whip.”
He resisted the urge to swipe a hand over his face. “Have you started working on the nursery?”
“Yeah. We met with Brandi last week to discuss transforming Kerri’s old room, now that we know we’re having a girl.” The big guy’s face softened.
Smiling, he stepped forward and thrust out his hand. “Congratulations, Connor. That’s wonderful.”
“Thanks. And we heard Shayla found out yesterday that she’s having one, too, so who knows? Maybe they’ll grow up to be best friends.”
Jace nodded, happy that some of his friends had settled down and were building families and futures. Someday, maybe that would be him.
An image of Holly smiling lovingly down into the face of their newborn flashed through his mind. His heart rocked, cracking open, sending a strange warmth through his body. He leaned heavily back against the counter and blinked.
He loved the thought of her carrying his child. It should’ve scared the shit out of him, but instead, he felt strangely…whole.
“So, what about you, Jace?”
He blinked, refocusing on his patient. “What?”
“You and Holly? You’ve been a lot closer since she returned.”
He nodded, but was ready to change the subject back to cravings if he had to.
“Good for you. She’s a good woman.”
Again, he nodded.
“She goes the extra mile to help people out.”
It was one of the things he loved most about her.
Jace’s heart rocked hard against his ribs as that thought sunk in.
He loved Holly.
How the hell had that happened?
By the time February rolled around, Holly had to admit, she’d never been happier. All thanks to her uncle having surgery and her making the best decision ever to go to Texas and help him out. She’d met great friends, enjoyed her job, had less stress. Even took a night course in photography offered at the local college Caitlin and Donny attended.
All wonderful reasons for her happy state of mind, but not the main one. No. That honor was reserved for one hardworking, giving, handsome as hell doctor.
A doctor.
Never had she ever thought she’d get involved with another doctor again. And yet, Jace was unlike the other’s she knew. He cared about his patients and people and family more than money or what was in it for him.
It was one of the things she loved most about him.
And she did love him.
She’d accepted that weeks ago. But the man would be leaving within two months. So, now she had to decide whether to tell him or not.
Same went for the phone call she’d received an hour ago from her old job back in Colorado. Her replacement hadn’t worked out. They wanted her back.
“Oh my gosh! Little pink cowgirl boots. Thanks, Jordan! These are adorable,” Kerri gushed, sitting next to Shayla in the middle of the Dalton’s living room as the two expectant mothers opened gifts at their combined baby shower.
Her dilemma with Jace would have to wait. Now was the time to celebrate the upcoming births of two very lucky little girls.
“You’re welcome, sis. My niece is going to be stepping out in style,” Jordan said, sitting next to Holly.
Shayla opened her gift to reveal a matching pair.
“And so will her friend.” The sheriff winked.
“Thanks, Jordan.” The redhead laughed. “Your sister and I are going to have the best dressed kids in the county.”
“And most spoiled,” Kerri added.
Laughter went up around the room, and the next two hours flew by as Holly enjoyed being included in the happy occasion. The Daltons and McCalls had made her, and her mother’s, transition to Texas effortless. They welcomed them into their families with open arms, and the only other place she’d felt more content was in a certain doctor’s arms.
And she was itching to fast-forward the day so she could get to the point where they were both naked and spent.
“I recognize that dreamy look. You’re in love with Jace Turner,” Jordan said as they finished cleaning up after the party. “I’m happy for you. Jace is a great man. You two are good for each other.”
“Thanks.” She smiled, not shying away from the enveloping warmth brought on by her friend’s statement, or denying it. Besides, the woman was too astute to be bullshitted.
“If you need to talk or cry or beat the shit out of something when he leaves for DWB, let me know. I have a heavy bag set up in the back room at the precinct.”
Her lips quivered in an effort to keep the smile in place, even though her insides felt as if they’d become a heavy bag. She’d always known he was leaving. Knew the day would come. She just never realize how much it would hurt. But, it didn’t matter. The thought of him doing what he loved, what he’d always planned, and all the lives he was about to touch, filled her with such a comforting warmth, all her pain minimized to a manageable ache.
“I’ll keep it in mind,” she replied. “Probably try a pint of Death-By-Chocolate first, though.”
Her frie
nd laughed. “Good call. Just remember, my offer still stands if you need to work off the calories consumed.”
This time, Holly laughed and was still smiling as she made her way across Shadow Rock to the new shelter where Jace and the guys were volunteering while their women were busy with the baby shower.
Anticipation of their night ahead upped her pace. They were spending it his place again. His invitation into his home back in December had turned their fun into a relationship, and although it scared her to be so open, she’d never felt more connected and loved. Neither of them had said the words yet, and more than likely for the same reason. They didn’t want to scare the other off.
Well, it would take a hell of a lot more than that to scare her, and she was figuring that maybe he felt the same way. Maybe tonight, she’d finally say it out loud.
“So, Jace. You’re coming down the home stretch, buddy.” Connor’s voice drifted out to her through the opened door.
“Yeah, you’re really going to resign your commission this month?” Kade asked.
“Not sure,” he replied, stopping her in her tracks.
What?
“Having second thoughts about the DWB?” Kade asked.
“I’m betting its second thoughts about leaving Holly.”
Someone snickered.
Her heart squeezed. And she figured it served her right for eaves dropping. She was probably going to go to hell.
“Connor’s right. I’m not sure I want to go anymore.”
Half of her heart rejoiced, but the other half-squeezed so tight she had to rub her chest to ease the ache.
“You’re in love with her,” Kade stated.
“That’s great,” Connor said, and she could hear a round of backslapping echoing in the air.
“Yeah, trouble is, I’ve no idea what to do about it.”
She knew.
She knew exactly what to do.
And her heart sank.
No way was Jace staying. He had to join Doctors Without Borders. It was his life’s dream. His dad’s, too, no doubt. She couldn’t be—wouldn’t be—the one to stand in the way of that dream, or stop him from caring for all those people he was going to touch.
God, she wanted to. She loved him, didn’t want to let him go.
But, because she loved him, she had to let him go. Because he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life, and she didn’t want to be the cause of his biggest regret by making him stay. She just couldn’t do that. Couldn’t be that selfish.
Chapter Seventeen
As quietly as possible, Holly retraced her steps, and sat on the porch, talking her heart into not shattering. Jordan came out a few minutes later, took one look at her and frowned.
“What’s going on?”
Sucking it up, she stood and strode to the woman. “I need a ride home.”
The sheriff cocked her head and narrowed her eyes on her, then transferred her gaze to the shelter before settling back on her. “Jace?”
She shook her head. “I need to think. Can’t do that with him around.”
“Okay,” Jordan said, apparently mulling it over and finding her excuse acceptable. “Come on. I’m heading to the precinct near your cottage anyway.”
Although they drove in silence for several minutes, she could hear the wheels turning in her friend’s head and wasn’t surprised when she finally spoke.
“You do know running away from a problem doesn’t help.”
Holly nodded. “I’m not running. In fact, I’m going to offer him a solution. He’s just not going to be happy at first.”
“I’m not sure I like the sound of this.” A deep frown creased Jordan’s brow as she pulled up outside the cottage. “What are you planning?”
“It’s okay,” she assured, fighting back the sting of tears. “You sacrifice for those you love, right?”
“Always.”
“Then I’m going to help him make the right decision.”
A sense of doom settled over Jace’s chest and squeezed as he drove to Holly’s. Why would she just leave like that? They’d had plans. She knew they’d had plans. So, when he’d finished at the shelter and strode up to the house to find she’d left with Jordan, he knew something was wrong.
A quick call to the sheriff had confirmed it. Oh, Jordan didn’t tell him much. No, that wasn’t the woman’s style, but she did tell him Holly had said she had a decision to make.
Decision? What damn decision?
He was contemplating it as he parked in front of her place and knocked on her door. Phone to her ear, she opened it and stepped back to let him in. As he entered, that ball of doom lodged in his chest grew.
“Okay,” she said into the phone. “I will. Thanks for calling.”
“What’s going on, Holly? Why’d you leave?” He stepped close and lifted a hand to touch her arm, but she moved back. “Holly?”
“That was work. Colorado work. They’re offering me my old job back.”
Not at all what he’d expected. “Oh.” He sat on the nearest chair because his legs suddenly felt as if they’d been knocked out from under him. “Are you going to take it?”
She nodded. “I just did.”
He didn’t know what hurt worse, the fact she was going to move back to Colorado, or the fact she hadn’t even thought to talk it over with him.
Both.
“I see.”
“It’s great, isn’t it? You’re about to leave the country for a new job, and I’ll be heading back home for mine.”
“Yeah, great,” he said, as if on auto pilot. “I’m not sure I want you to go.”
She blinked and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. He understood her shock. He was a bit surprised he’d let that slip, then a little mad that she’d think he wouldn’t care.
He rose to his feet and faced her. “I guess it was my mistake for assuming I meant a little more to you.”
She closed her mouth and nodded.
The pain he’d felt before was nothing to the crushing weight gripping his chest at her admission.
“I’m sorry, Jace. But we never talked about it being more than great sex.”
Since that was true, he decided he had no reason to hold it against her. Not once had he brought up the subject of a relationship, just foolishly assumed they’d both been on the same page. Wanting the same things. Feeling the same things. Hell, he’d never even told her he loved her. How could he expect her to think what they were doing was more than just great sex?
“When do you leave?” he finally asked.
Her head lifted slightly. “Three weeks. Well, I start then. I told them I had to wait until Uncle Arthur finds a replacement. That’ll give me one week to find a place to live and move back.”
“Seems like you’ve got it all figure out, so I’d better let you get to it,” he said, turning to walk toward the door.
“I’m sorry, Jace,” she said, but made no move to stop him.
Or fix his heart. Remove the invisible blade skewering him alive.
He turned to look at her one last time. “Yeah, me, too.” Then he let himself out of her house.
Out of her life.
The news of Holly leaving spread through Harland County faster than a summer downdraft. She dealt with daily well-wishers, and hugs, and tears, some of them her own, but she was determined not to crack.
You’re doing this for Jace.
Several times a day, she chanted that reminder and drew strength from an image she’d created in her mind of the handsome doctor leaning over a child in an impoverished county, administering his own brand of healing.
She knew in her heart that was where he belonged. That was his calling. As much as she loved him, and hated that she was hurting him, her heart and mind told her she was doing the right thing.
“I hope you know what you’re doing, Hol,” Tanner said, later that afternoon as they spent her last day paddle boarding.
So do I.
“I’m a pro now at paddle boarding,” she re
plied, knowing that wasn’t what he’d meant.
Gliding on the lake next to her, he sent her a grouchy scoff. “I’m talking about Jace. You’re breaking the guy’s heart. And you’re breaking yours. So, what gives? Why are you leaving?”
“We’ve been through this.”
“Yep. And even after the six times you’ve recited the same verbiage, it still makes no damn sense,” he said, maneuvering to the shore and stepping off with ease.
She mimicked his movements, then grabbed her gear and strode up the shore.
“Not answering speaks volumes, you know, Hol.”
She eye-rolled him, but remained silent as they turned in their paddles and boards to the rental shack. Her heart caught at the realization she wasn’t going to be around for the upcoming busy season.
Colorado had its own busy season. How the hell could she forget that?
Oh, right, because her heart hurt so damn bad her soul reeled, and her mind had to deal with the fall out.
“Okay, so the silence isn’t working, Holly.” Tanner took her by the hand and led her to a bench and sat. “Let’s have it. Spill.”
She decided it was a good opportunity to gain information she needed. “Did Jace leave the guard?”
“Yep. He resigned his commission last week,” he answered, sadness clouding his gaze. “Won’t be the same without him there.”
“Did he join DWB?”
“Yep, same day he resigned. He leaves in eighteen days.” Another sad shake of his head. “Harland won’t be the same without him either.”
She nodded, then stood, suddenly feeling oddly relieved. Doctor Jace Turner was now a part of Doctors Without Borders. Overjoyed, she hugged Tanner and sighed.
“That’s great news.”
He drew back and frowned down at her. “What? That he’s leaving? Or that I’m bummed?”
Laughing, she patted his face. “You’ll survive. I’m sure you’ll find a nice blonde…or three, to help you with that.”
“I think you’re confusing me with Kevin.”
“Nope, but that Casanova does give me hope that you’ll find someone and settle down.”
Her Healing Cowboy (Harland County Series Book 5) Page 17
