by Cathryn Hein
The days were stretching longer as spring hit full bloom. Sunset was still thirty minutes or so away, the air holding warm. At Pinehaven it would be daylight for at least another hour yet. To stop herself brooding on Lucas, Teagan tried to picture her home, what was happening there. Wondering who was stealing the minutes and pleasures that should have been hers.
It didn’t work. All she could think of was Lucas.
‘I’m not Dom’s greatest fan but I’m sure your mum’s fine,’ he said when she voiced her worry about Penny’s extended stay at the Wellness Centre. He leaned across the gate and rested on his arms, chin on the back of his hands. He turned his face, which shone golden in the falling sun, and tilted his head in invitation.
Teagan hesitated then settled next to him. This was the first time she’d been alone with Lucas since Saturday morning. Each day he called in to report on Merlin but didn’t hang around. Ness dismissed it as some man-thing between him and Dom. Teagan knew otherwise. It was her. She was the one who’d got drunk and propositioned him and now her behaviour had become an embarrassment for them both. But Lucas, being the kind person he was, felt obliged to maintain pretences.
She scratched at a rust patch with her thumbnail – the only one she hadn’t chewed down – wanting to ask him about his day, what he’d been up to. If, despite what she’d done, they could still be friends. The thought of life without him, his steadiness, humour and strength of character, made her stomach clench.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
‘Fine.’
‘You’re not saying much.’
‘Neither are you.’
He shrugged. ‘Not the best of days. Merlin got me this morning, the shit. I turned my back for a minute and bang, flat on my arse. Leg still aches. Then when I called into the bakery bloody Kathleen damn near chewed my ear off.’ He reached out to pat Claudia, who’d sauntered over for a scratch. ‘All I wanted was a bit of apple slice, instead I got an earful about what happens when we let people who have no respect for country life take over peaceful villages.’
‘She sounds like she’s on Vanessa’s side.’
‘I doubt it. It was Vanessa who sold Callum the land.’
They lapsed back into silence. Claudia wandered off to join Mouse. Their shadows were so long they were like wraiths chasing through the grass for darkness.
Lucas began to fidget. He tapped at the rail, twisted a loose piece of wire. ‘Look, Teagan, about Friday night . . .’
Teagan gazed towards the creek, teeth jammed together, certain she knew where this was going. ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to.’
‘Don’t have to what?’
‘You know.’ Not a chance in hell she was going to debase herself with details. She waved him off as though none of it mattered. ‘Do the thing. It’s not necessary. I’m okay with it.’
He stared at her as though he hadn’t a clue what she was on about, then he frowned. ‘I’m not sure we’re on the same wavelength.’ His frown deepened further as footsteps sounded on the slope behind. Turning around, he let out a quiet ‘Fuck.’
Teagan followed suit and released a breath. Thank God. Now she wouldn’t have to carry on with this awkwardness. She stepped back from the gate.
Lucas reached for her, fingers brushing hers. ‘No, don’t. We haven’t finished.’
‘It’s okay,’ she said, withdrawing another step. ‘We’re all sorted.’
‘No, we’re not.’ He stopped and with a growl turned instead on Dom. ‘What?’
‘Could I have a quick word?’
‘I’m busy.’
Dom remained unruffled. ‘It won’t take a minute.’
Lucas eyed him, mouth like closed scissors, sharp and steely. ‘A minute is all I’m giving.’
Teagan looked from one to the other, not understanding the degree of their hostility. ‘It’s not Ness, is it?’ She inhaled quickly as a thought arose. ‘Or Mum?’
‘No,’ said Dom. ‘They’re both fine. This is a private matter.’
Private? Chewing her lip she glanced worriedly at Lucas.
‘It’s all right.’ His harsh expression softened a little. ‘We’ll talk later, okay?’
She threw them both another look before walking on. At the top of the hill she turned around. The two men were facing one another. Lucas’s arms were crossed, his stance aggressive. Dom looked more relaxed, gesturing as he explained something. She tried to catch a snippet of their conversation but their words were too quiet. With a final uneasy glance she trudged on.
‘What?’ said Lucas again, wanting to punch his father for interrupting him with Teagan. All week he’d been biding his time, giving her space. A few days for her to regain her equilibrium and realise she had nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone was too excited by Friday night’s other misadventures to worry about hers anyway.
He could have cheered when she’d asked him to come with her to see Claudia. Here was his chance to admit that his friendship act had been just that. Ask if maybe her offer was still open. But he’d stuffed it up.
Teagan’s distraction over her mother and his bad day had ruined the moment, and because he had no idea how Teagan would react he’d been nervous, uncertain whether to make it a joke or be serious.
What he hadn’t expected was a riddle. What was it that he was supposed to know?
‘It looks like the order for Merlin’s destruction might get up,’ said Dom.
‘How?’
‘I don’t know. I’m looking into it. I suspect Albright’s got someone on the council in his pocket.’ He ran his palm over his mouth and chin in a tired gesture. ‘Vanessa’s refusal to reveal the ram’s whereabouts to the council ranger didn’t help.’
Lucas closed his eyes. He didn’t know about the ranger. He was just an average working bloke of modest means, and as much as he wanted to help Vanessa, there were limits. ‘Am I going to get caught up in this?’
‘Not if I can help it.’
He turned away to stare morosely towards the hill, past which Astonville, and Merlin, lay. ‘It’s a sheep, for fuck’s sake.’
‘I know.’
He sighed and faced his father again. ‘What if we move him outside of the council boundary? Someone will take him on, surely?’
‘Probably. No doubt Bunny could find somewhere. Trouble is, the way Albright’s acting he’ll likely chase him down. He hates Merlin.’ He swept the sole of a polished tan brogue over the track’s loose stones. ‘Although not as much as he hates me.’
‘You in trouble, too?’ Not that Lucas cared, but he thought he’d ask.
‘No. But this fight with Albright could have implications for the centre.’
Of course. He should have realised Dom’s priorities were always with himself. ‘So that’s what this is really about.’
‘It’s a consideration.’ Dom regarded him steadily. ‘I have a business, a good one that I’ve built over a long period. It’s my job to protect it.’
‘And people don’t really come into it, do they?’
There was an assessing pause before Dom spoke. ‘Fate gave your mother cancer, Lucas. Not me.’
‘Maybe not. But you have no idea how she suffered, the sort of pain she was in. How she kept working even though she could barely get out of bed, because she couldn’t afford to stop.’ Lucas forced his voice to remain steady even though the memory yanked his guts. Dom needed to know what it was like. His mum, always so beautiful, wrecked by pain. The years it went on. The operations, radiotherapy and chemo. The false hope of remission. Then the final blow two and a half years ago when the doctors said it was back and there was nothing more they could do. ‘You could’ve helped her.’
‘I would have, had I known.’
‘Bullshit.’ He shook his head in disgust. ‘You never gave a stuff about her or me.’
‘Jesus, Lucas. How many times do I have to tell you? I knew nothing until after she was gone.’
Lucas began to march off. He’d heard this shit before.
‘How was I meant to know she was pregnant? We’d split up. I’d sold the St Marys salon to fund the Chatswood day spa. Steph didn’t like the new owners and went to work for someone else. I’d moved to the other side of town. Tell me, Lucas.’ He gestured angrily. ‘Come on. How was I meant to know?’
Lucas’s stride stalled. Breathing hard, he closed his eyes against the possibility that Dom was telling the truth.
The reality was Lucas himself only found out who his father was just before his mum died, when she’d finally admitted the truth of his paternity. Not that he’d asked. He’d learned not to over the years because it upset her so much. Instead he’d let his imagination take over, filling it with boyhood fantasies about how great his dad would be. How they’d do things together, like play rugby or tool around with cars. The perfect dad.
Then she’d told him. After all those years of her not wanting him to find his father, she’d given him the opportunity. How ironic that they’d already crossed paths. Only briefly, through Vanessa, but he’d known Dom. Had even liked him. When Lucas asked why she’d kept it from him, she said it was for his own good. She didn’t want him to be disappointed if he found his father to be not the man he hoped.
Lucas hadn’t understood how that could be possible until she explained how Dom had dumped her when she no longer fitted in with his plans. That she was just western-suburbs scum to him, not good enough for his new eastern-suburbs life. How he’d left her to become some big-noting rich businessman who didn’t want to know his origins anymore, his ambition too great for her. And her unborn son.
She’d made it sound like Dom had known she was pregnant. That he’d chosen to ignore Lucas’s existence. It seemed to fit. After all, there’d been no birthday or Christmas presents, no cards, or maintenance money as far as Lucas was aware.
Only after she’d passed did Lucas discover that she’d also written to Dom. He never saw the letter; he only had Dom’s word about what was in it. But he refused to believe that his mum was guilty of deliberately keeping knowledge of her son from Dom. That wasn’t her. She was too loving, too kind-hearted for that degree of bitterness.
But that’s exactly what his father said she’d done when Dom made his first overture. Lucas hadn’t believed him. Couldn’t believe him. Yet with each encounter like this, he was finding it harder and harder not to.
‘That doesn’t excuse what you did to her,’ he said finally.
‘You’re right. It doesn’t.’
To Lucas’s surprise Dom sounded sincere.
Dom lifted his arms from his side and let them drop. ‘I didn’t realise she felt so strongly about the relationship. I was focused on building my business, making something of my life. Escaping the welfare cycle my family had been in for decades. I thought our relationship was casual. It wasn’t, not to Steph, and my leaving hurt her more than I understood. We parted badly. Said things to each other people shouldn’t.
‘She didn’t deserve that. But I also didn’t deserve to have knowledge of you – a son I would’ve loved and looked after had I been given the chance – kept from me for nigh on thirty years. Yes, I’ve made mistakes, but despite what you think I’m not a complete bastard.’
Lucas stared at the dirt track. ‘I’m not ready for this.’
‘I know.’
Lucas looked up.
Dom’s palms were open. ‘I don’t expect to suddenly be your father. But I would like to at least be a mate.’
He looked at his father, at the sky, up at the house, and wondered what harm there would be in it. There was another family out there to discover. Roots, ancestors. His mum was gone. One of her last acts was to reveal his father’s name. Perhaps that meant she wanted them to know each other. Perhaps that meant she’d forgiven Dom.
Or regretted her own actions.
‘I’ll think about it.’ Shoving his hands in his pockets he began to walk away, only to turn around several steps later. ‘If you really want to be a mate, next time you see me and Teagan alone, don’t interrupt.’
At that Dom threw his head back and laughed. ‘I’ll do my best.’
Even Lucas couldn’t help his smile. Although he turned quickly away to stop Dom from noticing.
Vanessa rolled her lips firmly together, trying not to laugh. To do so would be a grave error given the horror on her niece’s face. Poor Teagan. In a way Vanessa couldn’t blame her. Penny had gone rather over the top.
Teagan stood on the verandah, arms crossed and weight on one hip, voice low and slow with disbelief, while her mother sat like a blissed-out Buddha in her cane chair. ‘You cannot be serious.’
‘Oh,’ said Penny, smacking her hands together like some sort of happy-clapping religious convert and beaming, ‘but it was wonderful.’
‘Enemas are not wonderful.’
Penny ceased her clapping and lifted her chin in defiance. ‘Research has shown that colon hydrotherapy has excellent health benefits. Have you any idea how much waste lingers in the gut, putrefying? All those toxins need cleaning out. I feel marvellous for it.’
‘Whose research? Some quack’s ramblings published on the internet, no doubt. The only reason you feel great is because you’re pumped full of caffeine.’
Penny ignored her, driven by her good health and conversion to the holistic cause. ‘And thanks to Dom’s naturopath, Sienna, nearly all my menopausal symptoms have disappeared. She said mine were particularly severe. They’d put my entire body out of balance.’ She smiled beatifically. ‘She said that could’ve been why I didn’t have the strength to confront Graham. I was simply too unwell in myself. Menopause isn’t just a biological change, it’s a spiritual change, too. By not embracing mine, by suppressing its natural empowerment, I caused an acute imbalance in my body’s systems.’
‘Mum, seriously, are you listening to yourself? You sound like a new-age religious convert!’
‘More to the point, are you listening to me? I feel amazing, Teagan. The best I have in years. And if I keep up my program, each day will see me feeling even better.’
‘Program?’ Teagan narrowed her eyes. ‘What else did they give you?’
Penny turned her face to the side, her chin again held aloft. ‘None of your business.’
‘Come on, you’ve come home fairly rattling with pills and potions. What are they?’
‘Herbal remedies. Black cohosh. Some St Johns Wort.’
Teagan was almost spluttering. ‘Black what?’
‘Black cohosh. Native Americans have been using it for centuries.’
Teagan groaned and gave up, flopping onto a cane chair and rubbing her face. ‘I knew this would happen. I knew it.’
Vanessa patted her hand. The poor darling, this really was a shock. ‘You have to admit your mother looks well.’
‘She does,’ Teagan agreed. ‘But five days of decent sleep, massages and being waited on hand and foot would make anyone feel amazing. Nothing to do with that cohosh rubbish, spiritual change or unbalanced systems.’
‘Oh, be quiet,’ snapped Penny. ‘What would you know? You’re hardly an expert.’
‘Neither is your so-called natural therapist who’s probably never been near a university let alone possesses any comprehension of the fundamentals of science. We’re mammals, for God’s sake. Not bloody fairy beings existing on another plane.’ Teagan glared at Vanessa. ‘This is all Dom’s fault.’
Vanessa opened her mouth to defend Dom but Penny got in first. ‘Don’t you dare criticise Domenic. He’s a wonderful man. And he’s very pleased with my progress.’ Her spine straightened and her voice ballooned with pride. ‘In fact, he’s offered me a position at the centre.’
Teagan rubbed her temple, a pained expression on her face. ‘Doing what exactly?’
Penny slumped a fraction. ‘Only cleaning to start with. But he says there’s always potential for more. Perhaps, with study, even a therapist’s position.’
Teagan made a half-choked noise, but before she could respond further Vanessa delivered a sharp toe
-poke to her ankle. While Vanessa didn’t mind a bit of healthy cynicism – she herself harboured the suspicion that half the treatments offered at the centre were of questionable benefit – undermining Penny’s newfound happiness wasn’t on.
Thankfully, Teagan got the hint.
Closing her eyes momentarily, she took a long slow breath. ‘If that’s what you want, Mum, then that’s great. I wish you all the best. But even you have to admit this conversion is all a bit sudden. You’ve never shown any interest in alternative therapies before. Remember Nanny Bliss and all her pills? You used to laugh and say what a waste of money it was. And what about Mrs Fitzsimons who refused to have chemo and ended up doing that crackpot high-pH thing instead? She died in agony, poor woman. I clearly recall you saying that the people who ran that clinic should be shot.’
‘They were victimising cancer sufferers. Graham’s mother prescribed to mega-nutrient therapy, which is silly. This is different. These therapies have been around for thousands of years, helping people regain their health.’
‘Then why aren’t they part of conventional medicine, subject to the same scientific examination and government regulation as any other treatment?’
‘Because the big pharmaceutical companies want to suppress them. They make too much money out of their patented drugs to allow alternative treatments to become mainstream.’
‘They what?’ Teagan pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Oh, Mum, who told you that?’
‘My naturopath.’
‘Then your naturopath is a complete wacko. This whole business stinks.’
Penny wouldn’t be budged. ‘You just refuse to believe.’
‘Damn right I refuse,’ said Teagan, providing good evidence to the inheritability of stubbornness.
Sensing a hiatus in the discussion, Vanessa rose. ‘Well, darlings, I don’t know about you, but it’s past time for my personal therapy. One I’m sure my doctor would not prescribe either but does wonders for my wellbeing. Margaritas, anyone?’
