As I stood there, the scene shifted. Now it was Dallas and Jason, laughing with their arms around each other. And then they noticed me and began to point their fingers at me, angry expressions coming to their faces. An accusation. You did this to us.
And then the scene shifted again. This time I was in a hotel room and my parents were lying dead on the floor, bullet holes in their heads. I screamed and Kevin came, tugging me away from the bodies, telling me it was going to be okay, I just had to trust him.
Do you trust me?
Dream Kevin kept asking me over and over again.
doyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustmedoyoutrustme …
I sat up and screamed, pulling myself out of the dream.
Kevin was there—the real Kevin—his arms pulling me against his chest.
“It’s okay, babe. I’m here.”
I turned into him, pressing my face against his bare chest. I couldn’t remember where we were or why we were there. All I could hear was his voice asking if I trusted him. He reached behind him and switched on a lamp, illuminating a large, unfamiliar room. And then it came back to me, the wedding, the murder, the running. This was the safe house.
He kissed the side of my face, his hands sliding over the soft material of my borrowed sweater. I hadn’t even undressed for bed.
“It was just a bad dream,” he said, his voice so soothing against my cheek. “You’re safe here with me.”
“Did they leave?”
“Yes. But they promised they’d keep us up to date on what they’re doing.”
He nuzzled my neck, his face rough from the growth of beard that had come since he shaved this morning. Or was it yesterday morning? I had no idea what time it was. But I knew I was starving. When was the last time we ate?
“Did you eat?”
A soft chuckle slipped from his lips. “Are you hungry?”
He climbed off the bed without waiting for my answer, reaching back for my hand. He was dressed only in a pair of boxer briefs. It was an enjoyable sight. I followed him out of the room, making more conscious note of the layout of the house. It was a nice place, with clearly expensive furniture scattered comfortably around the living room. I wondered who the decorator was and if they’d be willing to come redo my room at the ranch. It’d be nice to replace the furniture I’d had since I was a small child and come home to a relaxing layout like this.
The kitchen was appointed with all the latest in culinary excellence. A rice maker, a bread maker, a pasta machine. A professional cook would have an orgasm at the sight of this place. Who would have thought of half of this stuff for a house meant to hide wealthy clients on the run? I almost felt inadequate standing among these things.
“There’s just about anything you could want in this fridge. Amelia and Rhett really went all out.”
“Amelia and who?”
“Rhett. They’re two of the operatives at Dragon.”
“Hmmm, more women in your life.”
He shook his head. “Rhett is involved with a former client at the moment and Amelia has a crush on Hayden, so you don’t really have to worry about either of them taking a second glance at me.”
“What about that Waverly? Has she taken a second glance at you?”
“I doubt it. But she’s something to look at.”
I looked sharply at him, but he was chuckling. Clearly, he was just trying to annoy me.
“Waverly is a very pretty woman. But she’s the head of the tech department which makes her, technically, one of my many bosses at Dragon. I don’t think she’d make the time of day for me, and I definitely wouldn’t walk down that road.”
“But there have been women in your life these past nine years?”
His expression tightened as he turned back to the fridge. “There’s eggs, cheese, and some ham. I can make us some omelets.”
I shrugged. “Sounds fine.”
He gathered the groceries and moved them to the counter next to the stove. I climbed up on the counter on the other side, close enough for casual conversation but far enough to avoid splatter. He began mixing his egg concoction, pretending I wasn’t there.
“Were you in love with any of them?”
He groaned. “Are we not going to let this go?”
“No. So you might as well answer me.”
He sighed. “Yes, there were other women. Do you want me to name them all?”
Something twisted in my chest at the idea.
“Just the ones who were important to you.”
“Kirsten Kramer,” he said immediately, setting down his whisk and coming over to stand between my legs, his lips inches from mine. “You’re the only woman who mattered to me. All those others were just space fillers. A way to pretend that what happened between us wasn’t killing me.”
“Kevin …”
I touched his face, seeing the hurt in his eyes clearly for the first time.
“Why did you push me away? Why didn’t you just tell me you were afraid? That you were confused? Why didn’t you say that I’d taken things too far?”
“Because I …”
I stopped because I didn’t know what to say. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip. That night I was only fifteen. I’d never been kissed, never had a boy touch me in the places he touched me—even though I’d thought about it a lot. A lot. And my mom had always told me that good girls didn’t do the things we did on the hood of that car.
Then there was the whole what-about-the-consequences thing. I was convinced the next morning—I was sore, and that makes an inexperienced girl think things—that I was already pregnant. And I had no idea how I was going to tell my parents. My mom would be pissed and my dad would cry. It would have been an ordeal like no one had ever seen before and I’d have to face it all alone because I couldn’t put Kevin’s parents in that position. What if my dad fired his dad because of what we’d done? What if my dad made them leave and I never saw him again?
“I was scared. I had no idea what would happen next. I had no idea what my parents would do, or what would happen to you or your parents. I was convinced everything would change and I couldn’t … I just didn’t want to be responsible for your family getting kicked off the ranch.”
Kevin laughed. “Why would us being together get my family kicked off the ranch?”
“What if my dad found out? He wouldn’t have wanted you around me.”
“I’m sure your dad would have taken it in stride.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know that. I think he might have gotten his shotgun.”
He inclined his head slightly, amusement still dancing in his eyes. “So you broke my heart in order to save my life.”
“I suppose.”
“What explains all the secrets you told?”
“That was just anger. Of all the girls you could have chosen, you had to choose Janelle.”
He groaned, his hands sliding under my borrowed sweater. “Janelle was a sweet girl who understood me. We were friends from back when the two of you were close.”
“I know.”
“But if you’d given me just a hint of hope, I would have let her go.”
“You dated her three years.”
“Baby, I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t apologize for the past for the rest of my life.”
I knew that. I knew I was being petty. I only wanted to know that he wasn’t still in love with her. I wanted to know that if we tried this, if we tried to make a go of a relationship, he wouldn’t leave me behind to get back with her or one of the other women he’d known.
I touched his face, touched his bare chest. I pulled him closer to me with my legs wrapped around his waist.
“You were meant to be mine. From the time we were in diapers and our moms set us on the floor to play together, you were meant to be mine. It kills me to know that other gi
rls had you before I did.”
“No other girl had me before you, babe. They all came after.”
I looked up at him, at the light in his eyes. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I. That night … that was as special for me as it was for you. And I was just as scared the next day. I hadn’t planned for things to happen the way they did. I thought, a kiss, maybe a little touch. But I never imagined things would go as far as they did. And I was freaking out, too. That’s why I went looking for you the next morning.”
“And I sent you away.”
“You did. And then Trevor came looking for me later in the day and cussed me out for hurting you. That’s when I realized he was in love with you, too. I saw the two of you together all the next day … I was in a rage. I was ready to kill him.”
“It’s not what you think. We just talked.”
He kissed me roughly, drawing my bottom lip between his teeth.
“We both have our demons, love. We’re both going to have reconcile ourselves with the past.”
He was right. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he was right. We had to let go of our hurts if we were going to make this work. I leaned up against him and kissed him, trying to show him I understood. That I agreed. Trying to show him that this was all that mattered any more.
“I love you,” he whispered against my lips. “I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. Nothing will change that.”
My heart swelled. “I feel the same way.”
He kissed me once more, then lifted me up. I thought he was going to carry me to bed, or maybe over to the table. But he set me on my feet and pulled away.
“Go take a hot bath while I make this omelet. You need some rest and I’m going to need another five hours at least if we’re going to make it through tomorrow.”
“You can come with me.”
He smiled. “But then we’d never get any sleep.” He turned me and smacked my bottom. “Go take a bath.”
“Yes, sir.”
I walked away, glancing over my shoulder and catching him watching me.
It was a nice feeling.
Chapter 16
Waverly
I pulled on my skirt, tugging it around my thighs as I watched Hayden study the report I’d just set in front of him. I’d been in my office nearly the entire night doing research on this mess Kevin had gotten himself into. There wasn’t a lot, despite all my efforts.
I’d found the land deed for the neighbor, found record that he’d sued his neighbor on the other side years ago for a similar reason. I downloaded some Facebook posts where he talked about the Kramer family and their Three Nines Ranch.
One of the posts suggested he’d be willing to do harm to Kirsten Kramer if she didn’t tear out the airstrip, but just the one. And I found evidence that Kirsten had a permit from the county to do what she’d done, taking any power the neighbor had to fight her in court away.
“I think this Marconi man might be a threat, but he feels more like hot air than anything else to me. Besides, his threats were too public for him to actually act on them.”
Hayden nodded, still digging through the report I’d brought him.
The activists, on the other hand, could be a threat. Why they would go after Kirsten in this way, however, was a logical mystery to me. If Kirsten went to jail, her father or her sister would simply take over at the ranch. Therefore, the result would only be temporary.
“Neither of the suspects you suggested I check out seem to fit this scenario.”
Hayden glanced at me. “What do you mean?”
“The planning of this murder seems intricate. They would have had to know she would be at the hotel that morning, where she left her bag, and how to go about getting the gun. They would have to know where this Jason was. And they would have had to send someone he knew and trusted to kill him in order for that person to get so close.” I shook my head. “I think we’d be better off investigating his life, not this Kirsten person’s life.”
Hayden closed the folder my report was nestled inside of and nodded. “We pretty much came to that conclusion ourselves,” he said. “Megan already called Kasey and asked him to see what he could find out on that end. And I was supposed to call you, but it was well after two in the morning when we finally called it a night.”
“You could have called me. I was still here.”
Hayden didn’t seem to hear me. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, exhaustion making his normally clear blue eyes a little red and dark. I wanted to touch him, to smooth the exhaustion away, but I was always careful about those things. I knew he didn’t want more than sex between us, even if I’d long ago crossed that river and could no longer pretend to myself that I didn’t love this endlessly good, terribly wounded soldier.
“We have a couple of people in your department doing a background check on Jason Winston. We’ve got people doing background on Kirsten Kramer. We have people doing background on Dallas Kramer, Three Nines Ranch, Julius Marconi. Everyone we can establish is related to this in some way. We even considered doing background on Kevin’s family, but Megan decided it was too early to be that disrespectful.”
“Kasey called early this morning and said something about the ballistics coming back as a positive match to Kirsten’s gun.”
“Yeah. That’s not good. Now they have evidence to take to a judge. She’ll have a warrant after her pretty soon.”
“And Kevin?”
“So far it’s still just an APB as a material witness. But they’ll probably find something to charge him with, too.”
“Then we’re harboring wanted felons.”
“No. We’re harboring friends who are presumed innocent until proven guilty.”
“I hope the judge sees it that way when everyone finds out what’s going on.”
Hayden raised his eyebrows. “We’d do the same thing for anyone associated with Dragon.”
“I’ll try to remember that.”
“Go home, Waverly,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Go get some sleep.”
“What about you? You look worse for wear than I feel.”
He shook his head. “Try to be back by two. We’re having a staff meeting then.”
I left, stopping by my office to get my things.
I walked into my house and just began to undress, feeling stifled in the high collared dress I chose to put on that morning for reasons I couldn’t even begin to decipher. I was nearly naked, sitting on the edge of my bed, when my phone rang.
Was it crazy that I was expecting it to be Hayden?
“Darling, it’s your mother.”
I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the unhappy moan that touched my lips.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, Mom. It’s fine.”
“I just wanted to check in and find out if you were still planning to come to your sister’s shower this weekend.”
My little sister was pregnant for the third time. I always assumed the baby shower came with the first kid and all the other kids just lived in hand-me-downs, but not in this modern age. Every time Wanda got pregnant we had to shell out for another shower, for another swing and another car seat, like the others were just so out of date that they could be used again. But, to be fair, her boys could be pretty hard on things.
Maybe this one would be a girl. We could use a little less destruction at family get-togethers.
“I already bought a gift. Unless work comes up, I’ll be there.”
“Good. We haven’t seen you in a few months. It’d be nice to spend a little time with you.”
“I know, Mom. This job … it keeps me pretty busy.”
“I imagine. All those rich clients hiring you to save them from stalkers.”
“That’s not all we do, Mom.”
She snorted, a soft, delicate sound that was supposed to express derision without being unladylike. My mom had a thing against rich people because she was convinced it was wealthy people who had ruined our
lives. She never stopped to consider that our lives would have been perfectly normal if her husband—my father—hadn’t murdered an innocent couple for less than ten thousand dollars in cash and jewelry. We had to leave the state and change our names to escape the mess his crime committed. Even then people sometimes found us and we’d have to move again.
“See if you can bring a good bottle of wine. They won’t have any there.”
“Probably because Wanda’s pregnant.”
“Just because she can’t drink doesn’t mean the rest of us should forgo the spirits.”
I bit my lip, again trying not to say something I knew would piss her off. Instead, I ground out: “I’ve got to go, Mom. Someone just came into my office.”
“All right. See you Saturday.”
I disconnected the call and seriously thought about throwing the damn phone across the room, but it was a company issued phone and I would have to replace it. I could just hear myself explaining that one to Hayden:
My mom called and I just …
Yeah. It would be pretty.
I fell onto my side and dragged the T-shirt hidden under my pillow to my face. It was one Hayden had inadvertently left behind one night when he came to visit me. He’d worn it under a button up and left with just the buttoned shirt. I wondered sometimes what he would think if he knew I still had it, that I held it close and liked to smell the slowly fading scent of his body that clung to its fabric.
He'd think I was weak. And he’d stop coming around.
Hayden only wanted me because I was strong and I stood up to him in the office and I fought for what was right. He came around because I was aggressive in bed and he liked that. He liked having a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to take it. He had no idea how weak I was under that façade.
I sighed and pushed the T-shirt back under my pillow.
Weakness was something my mother would not put up with. Whenever my sister or I cried in front of her, she would berate us, telling us that strong women didn’t cry in front of people no matter what the reason. Even as small children, she would punish us for showing even the slightest bit of weakness, for crying from hurt feelings or a fall.
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